Fallen (4 page)

When I finaly made it home, life was just as expected. The boys had some friends over, with the exception of Jalal, he was sitting next to his girlfriend Kahliyah. As soon as I dropped my bags, she ran over and gave me a hug.

“Happy birthday mom!”

“Mom? Okay, thanks Kahliyah.” I walked to the kitchen. Kahliyah, like always, never took a hint. She switched he bely shirt wearing booty shorts having little ass right over to my bags.

“Mom you went to the Louis store, Can I see? That’s what I’m talking bout mom get that money!”

Before I could answer she puled my bag out and put her greasy KFC eating fingers al over it. It probably would be the last time she touched any real leather being that her mom chils off welfare al day and her dad’s not around, so I let it go. Don’t get me wrong I’m not faulting her, but I could see her going down the same path.

She told me one day “I don’t know how you do it every day Mrs. R, get up and go to work? A pretty woman like you should just be sitting at home and let Mr. Jay get the bread ok? That’s how it’s gonna be when Ja and I get married! Cause if not, you gonna ware yourself out and that puts stress on the household.” I didn’t know who the hel was giving this little girl advice but someone was definitely stirring her down the wrong path.

“Yea, I’m gonna get this money. You just get your little hands off my bag, wash them first at least!” I teased. Then I took my bag and went up the stairs.

Friday and Saturday were lovely due to my sons and my husband who spoiled me with gifts and dinner to celebrate my birthday. Thirty nine and aging like wine, was my slogan al weekend as I tried to cope with the fact that I was hitting middle age. Though al the family time was nice, I was looking forward to my Me day. I began to notice how lately I had been more bent towards the issue of spending time alone. Maybe it was because the boys were getting older and rarely in the house or that my marriage was stable and boring. But I looked for the moments of complete solitude. It didn’t matter if it was my afternoon sessions after work, Saturday afternoons, or my time at the track. Just any moment I could get to be Ramae. Not Ramae the wife, or Ramae the mom just plain old Ramae.

Wel waking up to the bright sunshine certainly blessed my mood on Sunday as my day embraced me with a smile. I could hear Jay ruffling through the closet this morning as he looked for something to wear but I didn’t bother to budge or open my eyes. I continued to sleep through the bathroom showers, footsteps running up and down the steps and al other morning rush noises until I felt as though the coast was clear enough for me to get out of bed.

Blessing my bely with a cup of coffee and a fruit salad for breakfast I pranced around the house in a smal white tee shirt and my panties. So much time on my hands and no real agenda I didn’t know where to begin. Milk and chamomile tea bags mixed with hot water filed the bath tub as I removed the polish from my feet and hands preparing for the ultimate soak. I popped in an old Floetry cd into my cd player and slipped into the tub for my one hour soaking. It was so warm and relaxing I felt like I was on vacation chiling in a hot tub. The sweet smel filed the air and my lungs. I stayed in the tub until my skin wrinkled. I drained the tub and completed my homemade manicure and pedicure before indulging in a bottle of wine.

I wrapped my red satin robe around me and checked the time. It was only 1pm, and I stil had plenty of time to enjoy my day. Another glass of wine had me relaxed, but I stil had no clue how else to spend the day. Usualy I would create a meal from a cookbook recipe and accompany that with a special baked treat to help pass time. But, since I didn’t make time to buy the foods needed for a recipe and I was on my diet, that was not an option.

I was restless for a bit and tried to occupy myself. TV didn’t interest me much these days and it was a Sunday afternoon. I knew that there wouldn’t be anything good to watch. My buzz kicked in and having a self -session crossed my mind.

I stepped lightly and barefoot down my plush beige carpet, then stopped in my tracks. “Oh my God!”

“Sorry.” My son’s friend, Makai, paused his footsteps. “I was trying to get out of here, didn’t mean to scare you.” He gave bashful smile.

I laughed at his innocence. “What are you doing here?”

“My house is getting painted. I asked Jason if I could stay in the basement and he okay. The last time I saw him was at the club. He shot me a text saying not to bother you.” He said. “Sorry, I just got tired of waiting for him to come back. I don’t want to be al in your house by myself.”

“Wel,” I looked around. “You weren’t by yourself. You can keep me company, c’mon sit.” I smiled.

I was on the verge of being bored out of my mind and my day being a complete waste so I invited him to sit. He was old enough to spare a few minutes of his time and to add some input to my day. Besides, he was a Jason’s that wasn’t familiar with. Most of Jason’s friends grew up on our block or were in school with him from the beginning. I had seen him around, or in and out the house for quick visits, but I never took the time to ask Jason too much about his new friend. I assumed that they did business with each other of some sort, or made friends through a mutual person. It didn’t matter, Jason was grown now and old enough to decide who he wanted to be friends with.

Makai sat down. You could see the nervousness show through his stiff body language. With a smile on my face, partly from the alcohol, I sat across him on my black leather sofa set. Part of me wanted to believe he was heaven sent. Someone to add a little spark to my day until my family came home. I wasn’t realy sure what to talk about with him being that he was so much younger than I, but I figured there had to be some common ground. If I could keep up conversations with my sons, one of their friends should be even easier.

“So Makai, how are you?” I struggled with starting the conversation. He was my son’s age, I realy didn’t know what to talk about.

“Um…not much, just living life.” He shrugged.

“I’m sure there’s more to you then just that?” I crossed my legs. The opening of my robe revealed my legs a little better.

The alcohol had realy begun to take over. I felt light in my movements and being next to him made me feel sexy. Lounging in my satin robe gave me just that appeal. I hoped that he thought I was sexy, and opened his eyes to me more than he had before. I just wanted the approval. There’s something about having a man look at you lustfuly that makes you feel good about yourself. You don’t even have to be attracted to him. Just knowing that you could have him if you wanted him, is what puts a smile on a woman’s face.

“Of course there’s more, you can cal me Kai.”

“That’s cute.” I said. I caught him taking a peek at my breast and my freshly shaved legs. I needed that attention.

“You must go to the gym.”

“I do, a couple times a week.” He said with a smile.

“I can tel,” My eyes were adjusting to him like a lens. “I’ve been going to the gym a lot too, wel running I mean.”

“I’d thought you lost a little weight since the last time I saw you, looking good.”

I watched his movements and examined his physique. His features continued to transform before my eyes and caught my attention.

As he made smal talk I swept over his entire body like a fine too comb. Every scar and hair, the way his eyes and hands moved when he would explain his words, even his posture as he sat, I gave him my ful attention. I wasn’t sure if it was the wine or my loneliness, but this young man looked exactly like that in my eyes, a young man. Not how I viewed by sons as older boys, he was a young man.

Al of the erotic storyteling in the work place must have crept into my head because I couldn’t shake the thoughts of sex that were on my mind. Maybe it was because Jay hadn’t been pleasing me in the bedroom, but I was in heat. I looked at his tight body some more with slight lust at heart. His orange V-neck t-shirt draped his broad shoulders and naturaly athletic 6’5 240lbs perfectly. Al muscle and ever so chocolaty, he had a beard that wrapped around his face that would identify him as a Phily native anywhere he traveled. His strong legs peeked out of his khaki shorts, folowed by hairless calves that melted into his Nikes. Kai’s lips were a dark burgundy, and his eyes bright and dark brown with thick lashes. He wore a low cut that was perfectly shaped with deep waves circling his head. The fact that he took good care of himself and invested in his appearance was obvious. I saw something in him that I didn’t notice the other times he made brief visits to my living room.

He had al the physical qualities that it took to get my body ready for sex. Wel, at least he’d be something for me to visualize during one of my afternoon sessions that I couldn’t drum up from my own imagination. Real live and in the flesh was my old lady porn fantasy. I had to raise a glass of wine to that. He maybe he wasn’t edible, but I would be enjoying eye candy for the day.

I picked up my glass and propped it in the air. “Cheers!”

I gave him the green light. A little loose and feeling a lot sexy, I switched past him to the kitchen knowing that my thick thighs looked good in the satin robe. My hips danced side to side and the robe rose up, it left little imagination. He was one of my son’s friends, but it felt good to have eyes on me in my own home. Every woman has had the desire to be the mom that her son’s friends thought was hot, or that sexy older lady in the neighborhood that al the boys glanced at while she took out the trash, I just had the heart to be it. It was no different the same feeling that older men got when they used a young woman to accompany them to gatherings and holiday parties.

I glided back into the living room with a clean glass for my new friend and raised mines to him once again. The drink suggestion caused him to let out a chuckle which showed off his perfectly aligned teeth accented with a smal gap between the top middle two. The squint from his dark brown eyes combined with his perfectly imperfect smile made me reflect one of the same.

He reached for the bottle of Cabernet and poured himself a respectable glass. “Happy birthday” He said. He barely made the words out of his mouth before it ruffled vibrations in my ears

“Thank you Kai.” We both took a sip of the red wine that was slightly bitter in taste. By far my sip was more of a gulp, but I had a higher tolerance for the wines flavor. “How did you know that it’s my birthday?”

He laughed. “That’s why Jason told me to stay in the basement. I feel bad, like I ruined your day.”

“Shhhh…boy please.” I placed one finger over my mouth. “What’s your story?” I blurted out in ful mommy mode.

Makai jumped back and pressed his eyebrows together. I laughed at his confusion and leaned in a little closer with my wine glass barely touching my lips as I let out the words again before I indulged in another gulp. “C’mon what’s your story?”

This time his confused look was probably caused by the smel of four glasses of wine leaving my mouth, and my glassy eyes lit with interest. “Everyone has a story.” I said. “Where are you from? What kind of family do you have? What are your goals? So, what I’m asking is, who are you?”

I was giving an interview. I could tel I made him feel little in my presence. The shift of his sitting position from the edge of the sofa to his strong broad shoulders being pressed against the couches back pilows showed me he felt at ease. Not the least bit intimidated.

“Wel you know my name is Makai. I’m 22 and from North Phily. I was raised by my grand mom down 27 th and Indiana.” I admired how confident he was in his speech. He spoke like a man, moved like a man and looked like a man. I could tel he was educated. Maybe not formaly, but I never confused a piece of paper for proof of inteligence.

“So you don’t know your mom? I hope you aren’t offended by that question.”

“No, it’s cool. Yea I know my mom, my dad too.” He laughed. “She was just a little wild when she was younger so my grand mom took custody.”

“Oh I understand. Why didn’t your dad raised you?”

“Wel that’s complicated. My dad played colege bal and basketbal overseas. My mom never wanted to move out the country. When he came back to the states he moved to Florida, my mom didn’t want to live their either. I spent my summers there.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Yea it was. To be honest, I don’t think my mom ever grew out of the partying phase.”

“Oh boy, I can relate.” I shook my head and took another sip.

“ She was there for me, no doubt.” He continued. “ I was always kept fly and my mom did it big for holidays, she was just a street runner, and stil is.” Kai let out a laugh.

“My mom was the same way, trust me. I wasn’t even raised by her. So you can stil consider yourself lucky.”

“My grandma was the best way to go anyway, she taught me a lot.”

“Oh yea like what?”

“Oh she was a big African American history freak. She made sure I knew my past.”

“Was?”

“She passed”

“I’m sorry to hear that Kai.”

“Thanks” He finished his glass. “She left me her properties, so I manage those now.”

I had forgotten that this was a friend of the family because it felt more like a first date. The conversation we were sharing was fresh, and something I didn’t realize I had been missing out on. For two hours we laughed, joked, and drank teling each other more and more about ourselves. I think he had forgotten that I was his friend’s mom as we learned that we had more in common then we would’ve thought.

“You have a girlfriend?”

“No”

“Kids?”

“No”

“Are you in school?”

“No” We both let out a laugh.

“Wel damn boy, say yes to something. You know what, I grew up in the same neighborhood as you.”

“Word? Did you go to Dobbins for high school?”

“Yup”

“Wow, we have a lot in common.”

I bit down on my ful bottom lip and concluded my thoughts. I knew what I was about to do and my drunkenness was the perfect excuse. Kai’s eyes were glassy and his speech was slurred. If he decided to let me in, we both could blame it on the alcohol. I was a little bit nervous of rejection but I wanted to take a risk. I moved closer to him and let my eyes do the talking for me. You know how that goes.