Fallen Angels (5 page)

I had failed to see how much my disappearance would hurt her. I didn’t know Astoroth filled her head with false notions. “I wanted to see you that night. I wanted to come home with you. I could smell his blood in you, and it made me want to do horrible things to you. I can’t be around you when all I want is to kill Astoroth’s child. I left so you could make that decision and you chose to keep it,” I explained.

“I can’t kill it Ravyn. How can I judge it for things it had no control over? I can’t blame my baby for the things that happened to me. It deserves a chance at life. You of all people should understand my decision. Your mom had faith in you, the child of Lucifer himself,” Kara reminded me.

“Believe me, she should have terminated my existence the minute she found out she was pregnant,” I replied calmly. Testing myself and her trust, I slowly made my way to sit across from her, my jaw clenched in anger and disappointment. Her wonderful fresh baked sugar cookie scent was nearly gone, tainted by the harsh musky scent of Astoroth’s blood.

“We can get past this, can’t we? I miss you so much. Just come home,” Kara pleaded. Her eyes moved to mine when her fingers slid over my hand. “You’re so warm.”

“I don’t have a heart anymore. The human that once lived inside of me is dead,” I replied, abruptly pulling away from her when I felt her child’s hunger. I knew exactly what she needed to live, but it would also save the beast within her. The thought made me scowl.

“I can stay here if you don’t want to go back to Chicago. We can start fresh, please Ravyn, I can’t live without you. I need you. I love you.”

Her hopeful words made me want to say yes. Her idea sounded good until I remembered what she would bring into this world. “I cannot be around you when all I want is to kill the child inside of you. You should have destroyed it. Instead, you are letting it kill you,” I whispered.

Kara immediately stood, crushed by my horrible truth. “This is it then? I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to come back. I don’t want you back. This is the last time you ever break my heart! You just lost me for good. I hope you’re happy. Don’t you ever come around my baby or I will have no choice but to kill you.” She tried to sound menacing but her voice was too shaky, and her tears were not from anger.

I just destroyed any shot of getting back together. It was over, and we both knew it. When Devlin rushed in to usher Kara out, his smirk made my next decision much easier than it should have been.

“Ravyn, why would you say that?” Jeanie asked as she approached me.

“It was the truth. I had to try.”

“I don’t think you should fight tonight. You did good, but your emotions are too high, I can’t risk it,” she said.

“No. I can do it. I need this,” I implored before glancing at the clock. “I need to do something first, can I meet you there?” I said while walking to the balcony.

“Where are you going?” Jeanie asked.

“Don’t cancel my fight, trust me Jeanie, I won’t disappoint you,” I said, jumping off the balcony and freeing my wings.

I followed Kara’s taxi the short distance down the street before swooping down toward the empty parking garage; pulling my wings in while still about twenty feet in the air, I landed softly on my feet. I paced and chain-smoked while debating my reasons for being here, more to the point, what I was here to do. The answer that ended my debate was easy. I had to do it. Kara had to live. 

With my own thoughts at ease I followed Kara’s terrible scent to their room. Standing in front of the door to their suite I let my thought enter Devlin’s mind.
I know what Kara needs to live.
I waited for an answer while invading his mind, and what I heard didn’t sit well with me.

She is so warm and so beautiful. You do not deserve such a precious woman. I will not let you ruin what I have worked so hard to earn.
His secret thought angered me before his loud thought answered my offer.
Tell me what she needs.

I smiled at his reply.
Leave her warmth, I am right outside your door. We have much to discuss, old friend,
I replied, revealing my knowledge of his thoughts.

A few minutes later the door slowly opened and Devlin quietly slipped into the hallway.  “Are you going to kill me for my thoughts?” he asked while I looked him over. 

He wore the same jeans and t-shirt from earlier, though they were still wrinkle-free, which meant the last few minutes were spent dressing. “You would be dead now if that were what I wanted.” I smiled. “I need time with Kara.” 

“No! You’ve done enough damage for one night,” he barked. 

“You will have your time with her. Do not stop this. You and Angela can stay, but do not dare interfere,” I said calmly.

“What do you want with her?”

“I died that night so that she could live without fear of him coming back for her, and we both know she doesn't have long. She will live and you will be the one to keep her alive when I am gone. Now let me in before I change my mind.”

Devlin’s mind delved into thoughts of doubt and fear for Kara’s safety. “You fear her safety now? You are a fool Devlin. Mark my word, if you say one word or try to stop me, I will be forced to kill you.”

Deep down I knew what I was about to do was wrong. I knew it went against everything I felt, yet here I was, more than eager to help Kara, to feel her soft skin against mine. But still my mind warred between caring for Kara and killing the thing inside of her. If I killed the child it would kill Kara in the long run. I had no choice; Kara had to live. 

Angela waited in the doorway, glaring at me as I waited for her to step aside and let me in. “She will never move on if you do this. She will always think you still love her,” Angela whispered, revealing she had used her power to look into the future.

“Would you rather her die?” I asked. Closing her eyes she stepped aside. 

I followed Kara’s scent through the large suite, stopping in the doorway of one of the bedrooms. Kara was asleep in the king-sized bed that she was clearly sharing with Devlin. The proof was a pill I could not swallow, and my angry growl could not be contained.

Angela stepped in front of me. Seeing my anger, fear oozed from her while she stared at me. “You have nothing to fear, Angela. Please, give us a few minutes alone,” I asked. I missed Angela, but I was glad she had stayed with Kara, to watch over her. Devlin, on the other hand, his motives were very unclear; even his own thoughts were confused about his role.

Angela studied me for a minute then suddenly leaned closer, kissing my cheek. “Thank you,” she breathed into my ear before leaving the room.

Angela was strong, one of the Fallen like myself; she could see what my true intentions were. She knew I would not hurt Kara. She understood my need for Kara’s survival probably better than I did.

I watched Kara stir in bed when I approached; it was as if she knew I was here. She rolled onto her back, revealing too much bare skin while she slept in only her bra and panties. The sight of her numerous scars caused a low rumbling growl in my throat; oddly it wasn’t from anger, but sorrow.

Kara’s eyes fluttered open, and her hand took its protective place over her belly while she stared at me in fear, quickly pulling the heavy comforter over her exposed body. “Ravyn? I thought I heard you. I thought I was dreaming again,” she whispered.

“May I?” I asked softly, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. My hand hovered above the child in her belly.

She shook her head, pushing my hand away. “Did you come to kill my baby?” she asked, holding her ground next to me.

“Killing your child would only kill you. I could never harm you, but I cannot let the child kill you either. I came to help you both,” I replied, easing my hand down onto her belly. Closing my eyes I could feel the life within her; its craving for my blood grew stronger with my hand resting so close.

When I felt it pushing against Kara’s skin, causing her to flinch in pain, I quickly pulled my hand away. “It knows what I have to offer you and grows impatient.” I tucked her hair behind her ears, soothing her worries. “Your child is of my kind, Kara, she is one of the Fallen. She is demon and angel. Do you understand what this means?” I asked softly.

“She is human, like me too.”

“It was stupid for all of you to overlook the truth for so long. She needs blood, she cries for it and takes yours because you fail to accept the truth. She will always need it, no matter how much you deny it,” I said, watching my news destroy Kara’s hopes again. 

Letting my demon out, I readied my claw above my wrist, but Kara covered my wrist with her hand, stopping me as she sat up.

“I meant everything I said tonight. I hate that it has to be this way, but I meant it.” Her eyes swirled with the familiar look of desire while she moved my claws up to my neck and crawled onto my lap, wrapping her legs around me. She stared down at the scar peeking out of the top of my shirt. “I wish it had been me that night,” she said while her finger traced the jagged red line on my chest. “You could have lived that day. Why did you let this happen?”

It was a question that I had never second-guessed. “I had to kill him. I had to make sure you would be safe,” I replied without hesitation, studying her curiously.

“God, I miss that innocent look.” She smiled.

I sliced my skin open, letting the blood flow freely for her to feed on. Her excitement grew with every gulp. Soon she was rubbing herself against my thigh, and her moans filled the room. I wanted to feel every inch of her frail body; I wanted to taste her and would have if not for the awful smell invading my nostrils. Instead, I locked my demon back in its cage and let Kara drink my dark blood, stopping her when I felt her baby relax. 

As I lay her back on the bed she tried to get me to lay with her. My demon burst from its cage with a low snarl. I pushed her away and immediately moved to stand by the door.

“Why does this feel so different, Ravyn? I feel invincible, my whole body feels like it’s buzzing with power,” she oozed, moving restlessly on the bed.

I turned, staring into her eyes, watching her happy smile fade away. “Because I am very different,” I said.

“I don’t want us to be apart, Ravyn. Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me,” Kara begged, crawling to the edge of the bed.

I knew her sudden change of heart was because of my blood, but I wanted to tell her that I would go home with her. I wanted to love her and watch over her. I just wasn’t ready to be around the child of the Fallen who raped and tortured her, so, I did the only thing I could to ease her pain.

“Kara, look at me,” I urged. When her wide eyes met mine I summoned all of my strength to break into her mind. “I was never here. I never fed you. Never saved your child. Devlin found your cure. You cannot forget that you love me. If you give him what he wants then you will know the truth about this night. Now sleep and do not seek me out again.” I forced my words to become her reality, and then watched her quickly fall asleep. I slipped out of the room hating myself even more for what I had just done.

I arrived at Wonder Lust ten minutes before my fight, and I was more than ready. Jeanie, on the other hand, was immensely worried. I couldn’t blame her. After all, it was her name on the line, not mine. All the time she had spent working with me, preparing me for this moment, was about to be put to the test.

“Are you sure you want to fight? You seem distracted,” she said while wrapping the sport tape around my hands.

“Jeanie, I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’m ready,” I assured her with a smile.

“I hope so. You’re smiling and that in itself is strange,” she replied.

“I feel good. Ready to fight, and it’s all because of you.”

“Okay, don’t forget the rules and listen to the crowd. Entertain them, and they will love you.”

I nodded and watched her leave the small room to announce my fight. When she called my name I strode to the ring, staring at the large opponent waiting for me. Giving Jeanie a wink as I entered the dirt circle, I crouched, slowly grabbing a fistful of the dirt and rubbing it over my hands just like Jeanie had taught me. Become one with the earth that will soon taste your blood. My opponent was taller by about a foot, bald, and snarling at me, showing off his crooked teeth. He was the clear favorite to win, but I was confident that he would fall tonight.

“Fight!” Jeanie’s voice announced the start of the match.

He wasted no time in coming at me, but I stood my ground and greeted him with a kick to his midsection. It was purposely slow and weak. He grabbed my foot, yanking me into the air, his elbow slammed against my chest. My body hit the ground with a force I wasn’t expecting. Opening my eyes just in time to see his massive fist coming at my face, I rolled away, but he pulled me back. The crowd roared and cheered for Baldy when his fist found its target, which was my face.

I could taste my own blood and feel the jarring pain as it throbbed through my head and lip. I finally felt alive, more than alive! This was my violent world, and I thrived in it. His fist came at me again, and I didn’t stop it, I wanted it, I wanted to feel the pain.

After two more painful shots to my face my blood was clouding my vision, and I was ready to fight back. Grabbing his fist when it came down again, I threw my own punch, rocking the big man back, allowing myself to slide away and get to my feet.

He didn’t stand a chance. I bounced around him, using his body and face as my personal punching bag. He quickly begged for mercy, and to my disappointment the crowd gave it to him. Jeanie now knew she could trust me in the ring.

She met me in the small room where I was washing the blood from my face and hands. When I turn to face her she hugged me tightly. “You did great!” she said with a cheerful smile.

“I felt amazing, like this was what I was born to do,” I breathed.

“You were. I have to get back, but you need to feed before you go home. Oh, and when I’m done here we will celebrate,” she said giddily before kissing me softly. Pulling away her eyes widened. “Sorry.” She rushed out of the room.