Fallen (24 page)

I groaned and met her thrusts with my own, my hands urging her hips along. Her delicate hands cupped my face as her soft lips and tongue teased me. Dark waves framed my vision, her sweet scent enveloping me. All I could taste, see, and smell was Emily.

It was heaven.

Her dress had bunched up around her waist, exposing the slip of white satin between her thighs. I trailed my fingers over the silky material covering her sex. She broke the kiss, her breath catching as her head tilted back.

My fingers traced over the dampness seeping through, and the scent of her arousal wafting up to me did me in.

I reached between us, unbuckling my pants. 

“Wait.” Her breathing was shallow as she stilled my hands. “Slow down.”

I touched my forehead to hers, gripping the fabric pooled around her sides. “Em, I need to be inside you.” I swallowed and closed my eyes, lowering my voice to a whisper. “Please?” 

Asking for sex was not something I did. Ever. But at that moment, I didn’t care if I had to get down on my hands and knees and beg her. I had to be with her. It killed me not to know her inside and out.

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, her eyes dropped to my chest. “I’m not ready for that.”

My fuzzy mind didn’t want to process her words, and I stared at her incredulously. “Then what the hell is this? I mean— Jesus Christ, Em, you were riding my cock all of five seconds ago. If
that’s
you not being ready—”

“Fuck you.” She pushed herself off me and stood.

“What, are you saving it for Thomas or something?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, tumbling out of me before I even realized what I was saying.

Her palm connected with my face immediately, leaving a stinging trail along my cheek.

Oh, God… What have I done?

Chapter Forty-Three

EMILY

Gabriel’s words stung something fierce. My eyes, shiny with unshed tears, refused to look at him as I turned and unlocked the door.

“Emily, I—”

I was out in a rush, ignoring his desperate pleas. I didn’t want to hear it right now.

My whole body felt shaky as I crossed the lobby, keeping my head down so people wouldn’t see how close I was to losing it. Once in the quiet confines of the elevator, I let go, my tears hot as they dripped down my cheeks and touched my fingers to my puffy lips. They tingled in his absence but I still felt him there, like a ghost. All I tasted and smelled was him. 

I hated it, and I hated even more that he was right. 

You always assume that you’ll get your happily-ever-after, and deep down, some small part of me was hoping it’d be with Thomas, as ridiculous as that was. This was no fairy tale. I wasn’t guaranteed
shit
.

So why was I secretly holding out hope that someday we’d be together again? We wouldn’t. It’d been
seven months
. Jesus, at this point we’d been apart longer than we’d ever been together. That right there should’ve been the wake-up call to my dreams of “someday.” And yet here I was, stuck in the past, stubbornly holding on to a hope that wasn’t there.

I was tired of being the reason for my unhappiness. I was tired of feeling guilty. And I was tired of pretending this thing with Gabriel didn’t exist.

It was time to bury the past and move on. I couldn’t live with these ghosts forever.

I knew I should’ve given Em time to cool down, but I couldn’t stand to leave things like that. She had to know how sorry I was, even if I had to grovel at her feet every day for the next century.

If she’ll even talk to me.

Shit. I’d never crossed the line this far before. Hell, at this point it wasn’t even a line, it was a speck. I had no way of knowing how she’d react. 

She could
leave
.

The horrifying thought had me quickening my pace down the corridor. I unlocked the door and threw it open, frantically searching the suite. “Emily?”

Her suitcase was still on the bed, and my shoulders relaxed slightly. I looked up, seeing a light coming from under the closed bathroom door. Walking around the bed, I stopped in front of it, placing my hands on the doorjamb. 

“Emily, I—
Damn it
.” My head thudded against the cool wood of the door. I knew the words wouldn’t cut it, but I had to say them anyway. “I’m so sorry.”

The door wrenched open, making me stumble back in surprise. Oh man, if looks could kill. My balls practically shriveled up as the contempt rolled off her in thick waves. 

I waited for her to speak, my anxiety ratcheting with every second that she didn’t. “Say something.” The silence was almost worse than the barrage of screams that appeared to be on the tip of her tongue. At least with screaming, I knew where I stood, or what I could shove and where. This quiet rage was completely discomfiting. “Yell at me. Hit me. Do
something
!”

She reached up and placed her hands on the sides of my face, pulling me down for a kiss. Shocked stupid, my lips froze at first, until the heat from her teasing caresses had me kissing her back with equal fervor. My hands went to her waist, lost in the sensation of warm, soft lips and a wicked tongue.

Pulling back, her palm connected with my cheek, the crack thundering through the too-quiet room. “I hate you,” she said, though her voice lacked conviction.

I winced and rubbed my stinging cheek. “I know. I hate me, too… I really am sorry.” I shrugged and said, “I’m an asshole when I drink,” as some pathetic excuse for my behavior.

She glanced up at me, the corner of her lips lifting. “So you drink all the time, then?”

Even though she was kidding, it wasn’t far off from the truth. I almost always had a drink in my hand. “Pretty much.” My eyes drifted to the floor as I stuck my hands in my pockets, my voice lowering. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I still shouldn’t have said it.” It wasn’t fair of me to go straight for her jugular like that. 

She sighed and sat on the corner of the bed. “You were right, though. I
am
waiting on something that will never happen.”

I blinked, trying to process her words. Never in a million years had I expected her to admit it. 

I knew I had to tread carefully. “Do you think you’ll ever get tired of waiting?” I asked, slowly moving to sit beside her.

“I already am.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees as she scrubbed her face. “I’m tired of holding on to everything, and I’m tired of feeling so damn
guilty
. I can’t change what I am, I can’t change the past… I need to accept that. I need to just…let go.”

You could let go with me…

This was it. Time to lay all my cards out on the table.

My mouth opened, but the words died before I could get them out. What if she said no? Being attracted to me and wanting to be with me were not the same. I didn’t know if I could handle that kind of rejection. Not from her.

Instead of spilling my guts and telling her that I loved the way she looked in the morning, with her hair a mess and pillow lines across her face, or how I just 
missed
her when she was gone, I hid behind my bravado. “You know, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Sex, I could do. Laying my soul out bare for her to accept or deny? Not so much. I had this weird thing called “self-preservation” that kept getting in the way.

“Are you offering?” She looked over at me and grinned, and I died a little inside at how funny she found it.

“Yes.” 

Her smile faded. She blinked, looking down to my chest for what felt like forever, before saying, “Okay.”

Wait—what?

“Seriously?” Did I just hear her right?

“I want you. I’m tired of fighting it. But…” She bit her lip, looking torn.

“But what?”

“I’m still not ready for any kind of commitment.”

So she wanted me, but at the same time she didn’t. That was one mindfuck I was all too familiar with.

And she was all but giving me a pass for no-strings-attached sex. I should be happy about this, but I wasn’t. “You don’t want…
more
?”

She glanced up at me under long, dark lashes. “I thought you didn’t do ‘more.’ ”

I didn’t think so either. But with Emily… Well, I did a lot of things I never thought I would. “For you, I would.” I let that sink in as I exhaled and rubbed my jaw. If she didn’t want more, then I’d offer her what I could. “But we can keep this casual. It doesn’t even have to go past tonight, if you don’t want it to.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

I had to be. I’d take her any way I could get her. I wanted to tell her that, but I knew it’d scare her off. So instead, I simply said, “Yeah, it’s cool.”

Chapter Forty-Four

GABRIEL

Slow and gentle wasn’t my style. I was aggressive and domineering.

I
fucked
.

But with Emily, I wanted nothing more than to spend hours worshiping her body. So I’d take my time with this. Do it right. ’Cause Lord knew this might be my one and only shot.

I had to make it count.

A million thoughts swarmed my head as I felt her on my lips and tasted her on my tongue. I broke away, panting, as I shed my jacket. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

Her mouth crashed back to mine as she straddled me. My hands ran up her smooth thighs and dipped underneath her white skirt, cupping her ass. She ground against me, eliciting a muffled moan, and all thoughts of taking my time went right out the door. I had to be inside her.
Now
. 

Lifting her skirt, I reached between us, palming the silk and lace barrier keeping me from what I wanted. I felt her heat through the thin fabric, and the growing dampness. It got my dick even harder thinking that
I
did that to her, that she was aroused for
me
. 

I clutched the flimsy fabric and ripped it clean off her, discarding it to the side before my fingers delved into her slick folds. Goddamn, she was so wet. I pushed inside her, grinding my teeth at her hot tightness. She gasped, her eyes sliding closed as she bit her lip, lost in the pleasure I was giving her.

“Oh, God,” she breathed, grabbing my face as she kissed me. Catching my bottom lip between hers, her hands roamed down my chest, yanking open my dress shirt. Buttons scattered everywhere as her fingers grazed my chest, sending tingles straight to my cock.

“I need to be inside you,” I said, breathless, as I left her warmth and unzipped my fly. My cock sprang free and I positioned myself at her entrance, unceremoniously shoving myself inside. We both groaned, and I stilled, taking a moment to relish in the feeling of being completely enveloped by her. It was better than anything I could have ever imagined. 

Leaning forward, I rested my head against her chest and gripped her hips, slowly working her up and down my length. She sucked in a quick breath as I moved inside her, then ran her fingers through my hair, yanking my head back to kiss me roughly.

It was a frenzied mix of soft lips and desperate moans as I pumped away beneath her. I pressed my mouth to the column of her neck, licking and kissing, as I breathed her in, feeling her all around me. The overwhelming urge to utter three little words struck me, leaving me dumbfounded. It distracted me from the way her hips faltered as she rode me, and how her whole body tensed as her orgasm overtook her. She threw her head back as her walls clamped around me, her muscles contracting with every unintelligible murmur.

“
Fuck
.” I gripped her skirt as my balls tightened, my orgasm shooting through me like a bolt of lightning. My thrusts were jerky as I spilled inside her, reverently uttering her name until I couldn’t breathe.

Slowly, I floated back to earth in Gabriel’s arms. A year’s worth of sexual tension had led us here, but I still hadn’t expected it to be so…explosive.

He let out a shaky breath and looked up at me, his eyes wide and…scared. Before I could say anything, he dropped his gaze and pulled me close, pressing his cheek against my chest as he held me. I blinked a few times, not sure what, exactly, had spooked him, and rested my chin on top of his head. His stubble grazed my skin as he placed feather-light kisses along my sternum. I ran my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, enjoying his light, tickling touch.