Fallen (12 page)

“Geez, what’s taking you so—” 

She halted when she took in my mostly naked form, her eyes wide and mouth open as she gawked at me. 

Her eyes lingered on me and I grew hard again under her stare, though the towel covered it. “See anything you like?”

She flushed and looked away, immediately holding up her hand to block out the view. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were…busy.”

I shrugged. “I don’t mind. Modesty has a tendency to fade after several centuries. You’ll get used to it too, I’m sure.” She caught my eye and I winked at her. 

She dropped her eyes again and mumbled, “I’m kind of tired, so…I think I’ll go to bed now.”

How adorable. I was making her nervous. A huge grin spread across my face as I wrapped the towel around my waist. “Sweet dreams, Em.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Friday, February 12th

GABRIEL

I didn’t know how much longer I could take this whole “wounded animal” thing. I got that Em was heartbroken—
believe
me, I did—but it was getting harder and harder to be around her and all her melancholy bullshit. Hell, I could barely stand my
own
moody ass half the time. So, Operation Help Em Move On was created, and step one required booze. Lots and lots of booze.

I leaned against Emily’s doorframe and knocked on her open door. “I feel like going out tonight. You wanna come?”

Lounging in bed, she wore the same sweats she had on yesterday. And the day before. She glanced at me before continuing to channel surf. “Nah, I’m good.”

I crossed over to the bench at the foot of her bed and sat, blocking her view of the flat screen. “Em, when’s the last time you showered?”

She sniffed her shirt and shrugged. Sexy. “I dunno,” she mumbled. “What day is it?”

My breath left me on a long sigh. “While I appreciate your plight, as your friend, I feel obligated to tell you when you look like shit… This is me telling you.”

She flipped me off.

“Come on. Get up and get ready.” I stood and nudged her foot.

She rolled onto her side, pulling the covers with her. “I don’t feel like going anywhere.”

This might be harder than I thought. “So you’re just gonna sit here and feel sorry for yourself while you watch TV.”

“Pretty much.”

“Em—”

She threw the covers off her, and I caught sight of her wince. “Don’t, okay? Just…don’t.”

I nodded, holding back the words she wasn’t ready to hear, and left.

Giggling filled my ear as I fumbled with my keys in the elevator. I smiled and blinked, trying to focus on the two blurry sets of locks for my penthouse. 

Damn it. If they’d just quit moving…

“Aha!” I finally got my key in and pressed the call button for the top floor. 

My conquest for the night giggled again and wrapped herself around me, placing kisses along my jaw. Her tongue licked my neck before playfully biting me.

I groaned. “You have no idea how much I want to do that to you.”

She gripped my cock through my pants, running her palm over my erection. “What’s stopping you?”

A frustrating little girl with morals.

The elevator doors slid open then, and I grabbed her hand, pulling her along. “Come on, let’s get you good and naked.”

Her drunken laughter echoed in the apartment. “
Shh
,” I said, trying to stifle my own laughter. “You’ll wake up my roommate.”

She covered her mouth. “Oops.”

I led her into my bedroom and let her push me down on the bed. She bit her lip and pulled her short dress over her head, tossing it to the floor. Black lace panties hugged her hips, and her bare, pink-tipped breasts stared back at me. With tantalizingly slow movements, she shimmied her panties down and kicked them aside. 

I grabbed her ass as she climbed atop me, straddling me, her dark waves fanning over my face. She ground her sex on the hard bulge in my pants as her soft moans filled my ears. My head swam. It was a blur of pale skin, inky curls, and feminine arousal.

My heart raced as I tried to lose myself in the sensations, but something wasn’t right. Pushing the thought from my head, I gripped her hips, and met her thrusts. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake this feeling.

I flipped her over. “Get on your knees.”

She got on all fours, her perfect ass and pussy up in the air. Her pink lips were glossy with arousal, and ready for my taking. I quickly shed my shirt and undid my belt buckle, undoing my fly to let my cock out. Her hair draped across her back, and I pushed the dark waves aside, exposing her pale, flawless back.

Why did this seem familiar?

I frowned, looking her over. I couldn’t see her face from this angle. Hell, at this point I couldn’t even
remember
her face. She could be anybody—

I froze as it hit me. My eyes grew wide as I stared down at the subconscious substitution for the girl across my apartment. 

The room tilted and I closed my eyes, rubbing my hands over my face. “I, um… I think you should go.” I tucked myself back into my pants and redid my fly.

Her head whipped around. “
What?
”

I climbed off the bed, keeping my eyes down. I couldn’t even look at her. “I think I had too much to drink. I’m— I’m really not feeling well.” Bending down, I picked up her clothes and handed them to her. 

The force she put into snatching them back from me didn’t surprise me at all.

Since Gabriel was out for the night, I broke his “no internet” rule and borrowed his laptop. As I settled back into bed, I checked Beth’s friends list first to see if Thomas’s profile had been reinstated. 

My heart sank when I saw that it hadn’t, and I felt like an idiot. I don’t know what I expected to happen every time I logged on, but it was always with this little sliver of hope blossoming in my chest. And then when I saw that nothing had changed, that hope withered and died, falling to the pit of my stomach and leaving me wrecked. I was torturing myself, and for what? To see that their lives were just as stagnant as mine? Or that in four short weeks, they’d already moved on?

This is…not healthy.

The realization—that the one thing I looked forward to every day might also be the one thing that was keeping me miserable—hit me hard. Gabriel was right. No good could come from checking up on them. It’d either hurt that they were missing me, or it’d hurt if they weren’t.

I…I had to stop doing this.

I shoved the computer aside, and looked around my empty room, hearing nothing but silence over the quiet background of my TV. It was finally sinking in that I was alone, and I’d managed to push away the only person I still had left. I was too busy drowning in my heartache to see the good things: I was young, relatively healthy, and I was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world—
none
of which I’d seen, other than the inside of this apartment. 

Turning off the TV, I hopped in the shower, feeling energized for the first time in weeks. After I got out and got dressed, I headed to the kitchen for a snack.

I grabbed a chocolate granola bar from the pantry and was about to get some juice from the fridge when I heard feet coming down the hallway. Gabriel must’ve gotten back while I was still in the shower. Hurrying out of the kitchen, I smiled and sang, “Look who’s clean and smells so—”

I froze as Gabriel ushered some woman into the foyer. Their clothes were rumpled, their hair disheveled, and her lipstick smeared Gabriel’s face. He reeked of her. I smelled her arousal all over him.

My insides felt deflated, and I frowned at the odd reaction. “I didn’t know you had company.” Damn it, why did I care? 

“Emily…hi.” He at least had the good sense to look embarrassed. 

The girl cocked a brow. “
This
is your roommate?”

Gabriel glowered at her as he pulled her to the awaiting elevator and said a quick goodbye. He walked back to me with his eyes on the ground as he scratched his head. “Em, I—”

I turned and started walking away, calling out over my shoulder, “Your fly’s open.”

* * *

Half an hour later, my door opened quietly as nearly-silent footsteps made their way to my bed. I’d wondered if he’d come tonight. The sheets rustled as the mattress dipped, but I stayed on my side, facing away from Gabriel.

He smelled of soap and fresh laundry, and the knowledge that he’d had to shower before coming here killed me.

We’d gotten in the habit of sleeping in the same bed almost every night. Having him there kept my nightmares away, and he’d assured me he didn’t mind… But maybe it was time to go back to separate beds. It didn’t make me feel good knowing he was out fucking God-knows-what before he was lying next to me. Even though there was nothing sexual between us, and I probably had no right to feel this way, it made me feel…cheap. And pathetic.  

I tried pinpointing
why
seeing him with someone else made me feel so bad, and all I could come up with was that we’d spent so much time together lately that it had kind of started to feel like we were in this together. But that wasn’t the case, was it?
My
world had gotten knocked off its axis, not Gabriel’s. His was still spinning. 

For the second time that day, I felt utterly alone.

Gabriel hovered behind me as he brushed my hair off my neck. My eyes closed, feeling tears swimming beneath my lids. 

“Em, I–”

Rolling over, I faced him. “I know I have no right to ask you this, but could you maybe…
not
bring girls back here?”

His mouth closed as he nodded. “Sure.”

I closed the space between us, nestling into his side as I rested my head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

I felt his breath on my hair as he stroked my head. We stayed like that until I fell asleep.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sunday, February 14th

EMILY

I tightened the sash on my robe as I left the bathroom, my skin still dewy and heated from the shower. I was trying this new thing where I bathed every day. So far, it was working out pretty well.

My hand paused, halfway up to the towel wrapped precariously around my wet hair, as I stared at the flower bouquet and gold box on my nightstand. Frowning, I walked over to it, eyeing the delicate script on the lid. It was in French, but I recognized the word “chocolat.” 

The bouquet of green hydrangeas and white roses was beautiful. I grabbed the card off the front and lifted the glass vase, bringing it to my nose, and breathed in the lovely, earthy smell. 

A smile parted my lips as I set it back down and opened the card. Why had Gabriel done all this? It wasn’t my birthday, or—

Happy Valentine’s Day, Emily

-Gabriel

My smile faded. 

Crap.

I’d forgotten. 

Instinctively, I reached up and touched the metal dangling from my neck. It was still warm from the shower. I fingered the little seahorse, bringing it up to my lips as I so often did when I thought about Thomas. 

My heart ached. How was he? Did he miss me at all? Or did he hate me by now?

Scowling, I pushed the thought away. What a stupid question. Of course he hated me. He probably had a burning effigy of me in his front yard.

I threw on some clothes and headed out of my room, looking for Gabriel. I found him in the living room, his back to me as he poured himself a drink from the bar. 

“You don’t strike me as the candy and flowers type,” I said.

He stilled. “I’m not. But I figured girls like that shit, so…” He glanced at me over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile. “I wouldn’t have done that for just anyone, you know.” The serious look in his eyes belied the light, jovial tone of his voice.

“I know.” I crossed over to him, wrapping my arms around his midsection. “Thank you,” I murmured, resting my head against his back.

He cleared his throat and set his glass down. “You’re welcome.”

I released him and wiped at my eyes, feeling unwelcome tears prick and well.

Great. Like I haven’t cried enough in front of him.

I ducked my head, trying to hide my face.

“Hey,” Gabriel said, his voice soft as he brushed my damp hair back.

Crap. So much for trying to hide it.

“I’m sorry if I— I was just trying to make you feel better, I didn’t mean to—”

I shook my head and wiped my cheeks, feeling stupid on top of being miserable. “No, thank you. It was a really sweet gesture. I just…
miss
him, you know? So much that it hurts. It feels like part of my soul is missing.”

He nodded slowly as his face clouded over. It was the kind of look that told me he knew exactly how I felt. He blinked, as if that could erase whatever painful memory he’d just relived, and picked up his drink, taking a healthy sip. “Your emotions are heightened after you mature,” he said, “just like your senses. We feel things ten times more intensely than before. When we love, it’s fierce and passionate and all-consuming. When we hate, it’s powerful enough to level a whole city.”