Fallacy (Apprehensive Duet Book 1) (25 page)

Alex

Arizona’s hot as balls in the summer. Like so hot my balls are practically melted to my thigh. And me being the genius I am, I thought moving in one-hundred-twenty-degree weather would be no biggie. I should’ve taken the team up on having the movers pack my stuff up, but it's too late for that. I thought the distraction would be a good thing. Fucking idiot! When the team rented this place for me, it came fully furnished, thankfully. So I just have to pack my shit which isn’t much. A single guy doesn’t accumulate much.

The air conditioning isn’t doing a damn thing in the way of cooling with the doors constantly opening and closing as I haul shit out. My T-shirt is soaked with sweat. As is my hair. Pulling it up into a knot on the top of my head, I decide it’s time for a break. I head to the kitchen for a drink. Water is about the only thing in my fridge at this point. I really want to dump it over my head, but I’ll just wait to take a cold shower after I finish up my packing. I don’t have too much left.

I’ve just about finished my bottle of water when my door opens and bubbly Tiffany bounces in bringing the scent of food with her. “Hello, hello!” she calls out as a greeting. “I brought Chinese.”

“In the kitchen, and thank God, I’m starving,” I smile at her as she rounds into the kitchen with a bag of take-out from the place down the road wrapped around her arm.

“I knew you wouldn’t have any food here at this point,” she says as she sets the bag down on the counter.

“I’m really going to miss having you as my neighbor. My next one will probably be an eighty-year-old woman named Estelle, who chain smokes and likes to bake weird cookies for her young neighbor boys,” I shudder just thinking about something like that happening.

“Well, don’t eat the weird cookies from your creepy neighbors and no one will be able to kidnap you and turn you into their fetish slave,” she laughs as she pulls the containers from the bag.

“Christ, Tiffany, you had to put that idea in my head. I’m never going to be able to look at old ladies the same ever again,” I grumble picturing granny porn with old ladies in pleather.

“If you don’t man up and get your girl back, what do you think you’ll be doing in twenty-five years? You’ll be out trolling for grandma pussy,” she says before breaking out into laughter.

Snatching the chopsticks from her hand, I give her a dirty look. “Glad you find yourself so funny. Pot meet kettle.” When Lena left Tiffany last year, I think it broke something inside her. We’re kindred spirits like that.

“I was very content to settle down with Lena. It was her who wanted to graze in other pastures.”

I feel for Tiffany, I do. She’s a great girl, and in a different time, I could’ve totally seen myself with her if she actually enjoyed men more than women. “I know just how you feel,” I sigh sadly, thinking back to a time when I also thought my life was heading in the right direction.

“Did you see her when you were home?” she asks timidly before handing me the carton of sesame chicken.

“Oh, I saw her all right. Her and her huge fucking rock of an engagement ring.” My face and emotions shut down whenever I picture her in that hospital room. I’m all out of emotion when it comes to Quinn. Well, that’s a lie. I have plenty of feelings for her, but they’re more fucked up now than they were a week ago.

She drops her food and pulls me into a hug. “No way! Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry, Alex.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I let out some of what I’ve been holding in the last week. I left the hospital and jumped straight on a plane back to Arizona. I couldn’t get away from her fast enough. I had some shit I needed to handle with the organization and an apartment to pack, so it was the perfect excuse for rushing out right after the greatest moment of my best friends’ lives. I have to be back in Jersey in two days to start with my new team. “It was horrible, Tiff. A thousand different emotions coursed through my body all at once. I’m pretty sure I know what being electrocuted feels like now because that’s the only way I can describe it. Like someone pushed the hair dryer into the tub while I was in it.”

“I know exactly what you mean. What are you going to do?” she asks, looking up at me with pity I don’t want. I know she only has that look in her eye because she can kind of sympathize with how I’m feeling, but no one ever wants to be pitied.

“I have no idea. She told me she was done. She gave me her lame ass reason, and that was it. I haven’t even seen or spoken to her in two years, and now she’s marrying someone else,” I admit while trying not to go back to the dark, sad place in my mind I’ve been getting stuck in whenever I think about that ring on her finger.

“But you’ve been holding on to hope, a glimmer of hope while you’ve been here. I’ve seen it. Your team has seen it. Hell, some of your bedmates have even
heard
it,” she chuckles, referring to the time I accidentally called a woman “Quinn” while we were fucking.

“This is what I get for thinking life could turn out to be some epic love story. Time and distance would make her realize I was everything she ever wanted and the next time I saw her she would jump into my arms, and everything would be right in the world again.” Fucking A. Did I just say all that lame shit out loud? I even sound like a pansy to myself.

“You’re such a romantic,” Tiffany giggles. “And if Quinn can’t see how amazing you are, then it’s her loss. You’re going to make some woman very happy one day. Don’t forget that, Alex.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” I smile even though I know deep down there’ll never be another woman for me. No one will ever measure up to Quinn.

“But do yourself a favor and don’t admit that shit in the locker room. EVER. You’ll get ragged on until the day you die,” she snorts. I’m really going to miss this chick.

“Yeah, well, it’s a good thing I’m leaving. I won’t be forced to watch your damn chick flicks and eat ice cream with you every twenty-eight days,” I smirk pinching her side.

“You loved it,” she smiles. Yeah right, I loved the crazy PMS mood swings and endless nights she would cry her eyes out after watching some silly romance flick.

Glancing back at her as I grab the food from the counter, I say, “Hated it! Those movies give sentimental saps like me false hope for the future.”

Tiffany and I finish our dinner, and she helps me pack the few remaining items in my apartment. We decide to have reminiscence night and watch a romantic comedy. We cuddle on the couch and laugh at all the stupidity in this dumb movie. Before I know it, her laughter turns to tears as we say goodbye.

The loneliness that had somewhat diminished since we’ve become friends starts to seep back in. Tiffany’s the only person I’ve ever bared my soul to about Quinn. I really am going to miss her. I’ll be sure to fly her out to Jersey first chance she has to get away. We say our goodbyes with promises to stay in touch.

“Don’t give up just yet, Alex. You’re going back home where you’ll see her all the time. Maybe Quinn’s the type of girl who needs to be constantly reminded of what she’s missing. Maybe this is the one case where absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder. You just left after she broke your heart. You only tried to get your closure over the phone where she could avoid you. Show her. Remind her she’s the luckiest woman in the world because you still love her even after all this time.” And with a kiss on the cheek, she’s gone.

And I’m gone too. Lost in a time I don’t like to think back on but remember every moment of. Every moment, including the first time I ever met Quinn. It turns out I wasn’t kidding when I said I was in love with her that night. I have no doubt I was. I just didn’t fully believe it then.

Quinn

“She just doesn’t understand,” I sigh to Blair as I finish the last of my martini. I needed a drink and with a person who understands my position after my conversation with Ashley earlier this week. Blair and I have been coworkers for a while, but we didn’t really become close until about a year ago. Ash had her domesticated life with Tanner, and I became the single friend who was kind of pushed aside. Not that I begrudge her for getting her happily ever after, but I don’t know how to fit into her life these days. We seem to be very disconnected, and I need people in my life who can connect with me. Especially now. Blair fits the bill.

“She’s not going to be able to understand, Quinn. Ashley comes from a different world. She’s hasn’t been raised like us. While she may live in the world of the rich and the famous, she’s not like you. You can’t expect her to understand your position on this or the pressure you’re under,” Blair says with a little too much venom in her voice for my liking. Sometimes she puts my bitchiness to shame.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing. She’s got the ultimate life that doesn’t really exist for us. A solid marriage based on love. A faithful husband who worships the ground she walks on. She’s happy. The way I see it, she’s got it better than us.” Not that I’d ever admit it out loud, but I’m jealous of Ashley and her life. She got the complete package in Tanner. Even when she was a downright horrible bitch, he stood by her side. Men like him are rare, a unicorn really.

Slapping her hand on the table to demand my attention, Blair levels me with a hard stare, “Are you listening to yourself right now? She’s got the life? She lives a cushy life provided by her husband. She’s totally dependent on him. You have the life, Quinn. You’re successful on your own. And when you marry Jordan, the two of you will have the biggest venture capital company in the city. But you would still live the same life without Jordan. What the hell has gotten into you? You’ve never been the type of woman to want any of that. Why do you want it now all of a sudden?”

I know exactly what has gotten into me. That fucking look in Alex’s eyes at the hospital last week. It shook me to my core even if I don’t want to admit it. It brought me back to a time when I thought anything was possible. It made me think about how good we were before reality came crashing back down on me. For two years, I thought it was possible for me to have something real and true. I need to push it down into the box I keep everything related to Alex in. This whole situation was hard enough without seeing the look Alex gave me after noticing my engagement ring.

“Haven’t you ever just stopped for a minute to think about what you’re doing with your life and if it’s really what you want to do?” I ask. I hate when I find myself in these philosophical moods.

“Not really. I’m enjoying my life. It will only get better when Roger stops fucking half the city’s hookers and pops the questions.”

This is exactly what I don’t understand about her and other women in our circles. How can they be okay knowing the person they want to spend their lives with doesn’t value the relationship enough to keep things monogamous?

“And that doesn’t bother you?” I probe. Maybe she can help me make sense of this whole open relationship.

She opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by Jordan as he makes his way to the table. “Does what bother you?” he repeats my question as he bends down to kiss my cheek before sitting.

“Doesn’t it bother her that she knows Roger is sleeping with other people?” I say filling him in on our conversation.

“Not really, as long as he’s discreet. I’d be pissed if it was on the front pages of the paper, but neither one of us is that important, so no, it doesn’t bother me.” Her answer is so nonchalant it’s disturbing.

“So essentially, you’re saying because neither of you is Page Six-worthy, it’s okay because no one will ever know as long as you keep things discreet? Why even be together then?” Who cares if the world knows? At the end of the day, she still gets into bed with someone who had his body all over someone else’s. Someone who doesn’t respect her.

“Because we’re compatible. We work well together as a couple.”

I signal the waitress for another drink. Seems like I’m going to need a few to get through this reasoning. “You’re not compatible if you both need to be with other people to fulfill particular needs. Why not just find someone who meets all your needs? Seems pretty logical to me.”

Shaking her head sadly, as if I’m a lost, little child, she says, “We’re compatible where it matters most, Quinn. That's what counts. In our world, we marry for pedigree. For mergers. For more power. We don’t marry for love and illusions.”

“That’s not true,” Jordan speaks up. “My parents married for love and are still in love.”

“And yet you aren’t marrying for love,” Blair says, raising her eyebrows.

“I’m getting married to give my father what he needs to leave this Earth peacefully. I’ll marry for love one day.” There’s a wistful look in Jordan’s eyes as he looks at me while he speaks to Blair. It’s a look I haven’t seen before.

“You aren’t marrying for love, Quinn,” she says directing her attention to me.

“Relationships like yours are why I don’t believe in marriage. I couldn’t marry someone I was in love with and be okay with the things you claim are ‘just a part of the world we live in.’ Jordan and I aren’t romantically involved. It’s entirely different.”

“But it’s not really all that different,” she challenges. “You’re both gaining something from this marriage. Think about the wealth and notoriety you stand to gain from this? You sure none of that has anything to do with it? That’s a big part of why people agree to these marriages as well.”