Fallacy (Apprehensive Duet Book 1) (18 page)

Quinn

TWO OF MY best friends are getting married tomorrow. It’s unbelievable. With everything they’ve been through over the last two years, I wasn’t so sure they’d ever make it. But I always had hope for them. They have a love most people will never experience. I’ve never seen two people struggle more and make it out on top.

The rehearsal and dinner were both beautiful. Watching the wedding, even in mock form, was touching. Except the end. Walking back down the aisle with my arm linked through Alex’s was a little much for me. I felt like I was suffocating. I feel like everyone was staring at me and telling me with their eyes that I was next.

I’m on the fence about happily-ever-after. I’m starting to think they may exist for certain people but it’s not a guarantee. More often than not, it isn’t. Ashley and Tanner’s love is rare. I’ve never seen two people more in love. But it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about the average relationship. Not everyone will get what my friends have, and I have no desire to take that chance.

I feel like with all the wedding shit going on, everyone’s waiting for me to follow in their footsteps. Yes, Alex and I may be very close to the newlyweds, but our lives don’t revolve around each other. Just because they’re getting married doesn’t mean I have any intentions of jumping on the bandwagon.

Everyone has left, leaving just Ashley, Tanner, Alex, and myself here at the restaurant. We decided to hang back and have a drink before we all went home to prepare for the big day tomorrow. Ashley, on Tanner’s insistence, hired the best wedding planner in the city, so she has to be the calmest bride ever the day before her marriage. No nerves. No last minute things that need fixing. She’s happy and content. The huge smile on her face as we sit and wait for the bill for the evening is proof all is right in her world.

“Have you talked to Williams since everything blew up?” Tanner asks Alex while we wait and finish our drinks.

“I feel so sorry for his wife. How’s she holding up?” Ashley asks, apparently knowing what they’re referring to. I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t know who Williams is or what blew up.

Nodding his head, Alex says, “Me too, but no, I haven’t spoken to him since it all hit. It’s been a while since we spoke last and I don’t think now is the time to call and say, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’”

“What are you guys talking about?” I ask, tired of feeling like an eavesdropper.

“One of our former teammates got himself into a sticky situation over in San Diego. He was caught leaving a hotel room with a few girls and someone snapped pictures of it. The pictures didn’t exactly paint him in the best light,” Tanner explains, shaking his head in what seems like disgust.

“There’s no way to paint that in a good light, Tanner,” Ashley snaps at him.

“I wasn’t implying there was. But the photos show him with his hand up the one chick’s dress while kissing the other one. He totally got caught red-handed. He’s dumb for thinking people wouldn’t be hanging around the team’s hotel waiting to catch someone doing something,” he says as he pulls her into him and kisses the top of her head.

“There’s never a reason to cheat,” Ashley says. She’s pretty naïve for a woman who has been cheated on. It’s probably one of the most common things in my world. I see guys from the office shuffling their little tramps in for some “lunch” all the time. I think I can count on one hand the amount of faithful people I know. Today infidelity is as popular as One Direction.

“You see it happen all the time. Married players are going off on road trips thinking they’re smarter than the last guy who got caught. Thinking they’ll be the ones who finally pull it off and get away scot-free. It’s like it’s a game to them or something. You have some who don’t care about the repercussions and some who try to do the right thing. It’s a bunch of egos and easy pussy so I can see why they give in so easily. Half naked chicks throwing themselves at players. I’ve seen it happen countless times. Hell, I’ve even seen some of the most happily married guys, guys I never thought would be taken down by the sluts, fall under their spells after a few drinks,” Alex says as he sips the last of his drink.

“I swear to God, Tanner, I’ll cut off your balls and put them on a shelf if you even think about it,” Ashley bellows at him.

Laughing, Tanner shakes his head, “Baby, I didn’t even sleep with groupies when I was single, why on Earth would I think about it while married? And married to your hot ass? I don’t even hit the bars at the hotels. Never been my scene, ever. My balls can stay safely attached to my body.”

She leans up and kisses him while wearing an enormous smile before she lays into Alex. “And they shouldn’t have had to try to do the right thing, Alex. If you’re in any committed relationship, you shouldn’t have to try and keep your dick in your pants. It should be a given.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Alex adds, “I think in today’s day and age, if you’re going to date someone famous, in any capacity—sports, actors, models—you need to prepare yourself for the likelihood they’re going to cheat. Our society hasn’t helped squash it. You see these people get caught cheating, and their wives and girlfriends stand by their man. Until someone at some point stands up for themselves, it’s going to keep happening.”

Is he defending cheating? Is that what I’m hearing? As each word leaves his mouth, my stomach drops further. I can't believe Alex is condoning cheating because the wives and girlfriends stay. It doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make it right to completely humiliate someone when you eventually get caught. Everyone gets caught at some point by someone, and the cheated is always the one who looks bad.

I never got the impression from Alex he was okay with infidelity. He has always seemed to be an honest, decent man. He got pissed at me for not wanting to tell Mitch’s wife.

I’ve been able to spot the womanizers a mile away for years. Have I just let my guard down so far with him he was able to sneak by? Have I been so blinded by him for the past two years I’ve become my mother and just chose not to notice the truth when it’s right in front of me? How could I have been so wrong? I’m so pissed at myself.

I think about the looks I got earlier. People looking at me with soft eyes as Alex and I made our way down the aisle. My chest tightens. He’s everything I have avoided. A sly motherfucker who has everyone fooled into thinking he’s a good guy.

I don’t add anything to their conversation as Tanner pays the bill. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what Alex just said.

“You ready to go, angel?” Alex asks as he slings his arm around my waist as I stand from the table.

“Yeah, but I think I’m just going to catch a cab back to mine tonight. We all have a big day tomorrow.” My mind is buzzing right now, and my anger toward Alex is rising. I need to be alone tonight. I need to get my shit together.

Alex’s feelings on cheating are not sitting well with me.

First I lost my promotion because I lost focus. Now I’ve lost the safety of my walls, I’ve let him in, but who is he? I don’t feel as though I know Alex at all. And who am I right now? I’m letting Alex change who I am. I’ve vowed to never let a man affect the real me. I can’t afford to have this floating around in my mind right now. My focus needs to be on work, not on worrying if Alex is out banging someone else every time he leaves the city.

I can say I tried. I honestly can. I allowed myself to get close to someone. I allowed my walls to come down, and I’ve been disappointed again.

I will not allow myself to feel any more heartache.

Alex

NOTHING LIKE A wedding to bring out your sentimental side. I can’t say I didn’t feel the moisture in my eyes as I watched my best friend catch the first glimpse of his bride. The way his breath caught. How he didn’t take his eyes off of her as she walked down the aisle. The tears that rolled down his cheeks the closer she got to us, not caring who saw him crying. The love was powerful as they sealed their marriage vows with a kiss.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the day I may be able to get Quinn down the aisle. That’s a funny thought considering we haven’t discussed that big of a commitment. I know Quinn needs time to process each significant step. I think she’s still processing her love for me, which is why even though I said “I love you” to her a little over five months ago, and she hasn’t said it back, I’m okay with it. I know she still isn’t ready. But she’s worth the wait.

There’s no doubt in my mind I love her. I love her hard. I fell in love with her quick, head over heels.

Quinn’s a unique woman. She’s loyal and fierce and loves wholeheartedly, but don’t dare point it out to her or she’ll think too much. She kind of reminds me of Julia Roberts in
Runaway Bride
. Everything is fine as long as she doesn’t actually stop and realize what she’s doing. She’s okay with love and being with someone, but push her to do something and she can be startled.

She’s been with me for the longest time she’s ever committed to a man. I’m well aware we can’t stay in the limbo her issues keep us in, but I’m not going to lose her trying to keep her. She’s mine. She knows it even if she won’t admit it out loud. One day, though, one day this will be my and Quinn’s day. I have no doubt about it.

I’ve been watching her flit around all night long. Her long blonde hair up and curled to frame her beautiful face. Her gold bridesmaid dress looks as if it was sewn onto her body. It accentuates her curves beautifully. The low neckline is giving me just a tiny glimpse of the sweet tits hidden underneath. Fuck, my dick is ready to peel her out of it now.

We’re all gathering near the exit to wish Ashley and Tanner goodbye as they leave for their month-long honeymoon in the Maldives. I spot Quinn near the bottom of the staircase where everyone will bid their well wishes to the happy couple. I snake my way through the crowd and sneak up behind her. “There you are. I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you all night, except for those few dances we shared.”

Quinn looks up at me and I can tell immediately something’s different. Something’s definitely off with her. Just as she opens her mouth to say something, the room erupts in claps and hoots as Ash and Tanner make their appearance at the top of the stairs. I’m buried in a sea of bubbles as my mind races to figure out what’s wrong with my girl. I don’t like it when Quinn’s upset. She usually has this glow about her. A glow that draws me in whenever I’m near and that glow’s missing right now. Racking my brain, I realize I haven't seen it since the end of dinner last night.

It seems as though a lifetime passes before Ashley and Tanner get out the door. I grab Quinn’s arm and pull her toward the empty corridor away from the leaving guests.

“What’s wrong, angel?” I ask, dying to get to the bottom of her sullen mood.

“We need to talk,” she starts. Nothing good ever starts with “We need to talk.” A thousand thoughts fly through my head at once. “This thing between us has been good, but I think it’s run its course.”

What in the fuck? The words leaving her mouth never even crossed my mind. My mind is utterly blown because the only words I can blurt out are, “What are you talking about?”

“Us, this thing. It’s not working for me anymore,” she says as though we’re talking about the fucking lightest of topics. As if she isn’t trying to reach into my chest and rip out my fucking heart while it’s still beating.

Shaking my head in denial, I answer trying to keep myself in check, “This thing? You mean our relationship. Our two-year relationship. It isn’t working for you anymore? What the hell does that even mean? Because it sure as shit is working for me. It would still be working for me if we took a more serious step. So please tell me how the fuck this isn’t working for you?”

“More serious? Are you listening to yourself, Alex? I don’t do serious, and you know that. That’s the problem. Somewhere along the line, we got caught up in this pretending we’ve been doing. I’ve never been the serious type.
We’ve
never been the serious type. For Christ’s sakes, I haven’t even said ‘I love you,’” she huffs. The hard look clouding her eyes and the sardonic laugh following it are what fully break my heart. “You think it would’ve been clue enough for you.”

Just like that, the walls I’ve spent years breaking down go back up in record speed.

“Pretending?” I growl. “I’ve never been fucking pretending, Quinn. And you fucking know it. Now tell me! What. Isn’t. Working. For. You?” I bellow, my heart splintering into a million pieces. A reel of the future I always thought we were heading toward flashing through my head, like an old black and white movie. A future that apparently isn’t even on Quinn’s radar.

“We’ve run our course, Alex. It is what it is. I think it’s best we both just move on.” That’s it? Is that supposed to make me sleep better at night, without her?

“Move on?” I laugh sarcastically. “Just move on, huh? Move on like I don’t fucking love you?” I know I sound pathetic. She just told me she doesn’t love me. But I don’t care. If she wants to leave me, then she’ll have to deal with the fact she’s leaving me but I’m not ready to leave her.

Shaking her head, she says, “You don’t love me. You just think you do. You’ll love the next girl who spreads her legs for you over an extended period of time too.” And she fucking walks away! WALKS AWAY! As if I’m a drunken one-night stand. She just
Coyote Ugly
’ed me. She just chewed her arm off to get of rid me. I know she’s lying. I know there’s something more to this. I know deep down that this is Quinn masking her insecurities. Rather than being vulnerable, she’s high-tailing it out. She’s trying to cut me out instead of opening up. I won’t let her do this. I refuse to let her chew me up and spit me out. This is not the end of us. It’s not. I won’t let it be.