Faithful to Laura (26 page)

“You forgave her that easily?”

“It wasn’t my place to forgive her, Emma. She didn’t wrong me. She didn’t even wrong your
vadder
. She needed God’s forgiveness. Not mine.”

Emma’s eyes stung. She closed them, trying to hold the tears in. She should be angry, but she wasn’t. Her mother had endured so much suffering, so much loss. Emma remembered how much she missed Adam when he left Middlefield. Her mother and father had been married for years, had loved each other since they were teenagers. In her own grief over losing her father, she’d never thought about how hard her mother had grieved over her husband.

Emma opened her eyes. “I’m tired of secrets. I’m glad you told me.”

“Then you understand?” Her grandmother’s blue eyes held hope.

“
Ya
. I do.
Mammi
didn’t wrong me either. And I know she sought God’s forgiveness.”

“She did,
kinn
.”

“Which is all that matters.” Emma released her grandmother’s hand. Picked up the pencil. A touch of pain lingered in her heart, mostly grief that her mother wouldn’t be there for her wedding.

She smiled at
Grossmammi
. “Will you help me plan?”

Grossmammi
grinned. “I would love to.”

C
HAPTER
21

“Whose house is this?” Laura asked.

Sawyer put the truck in park. “The Mullets’.”

“You want me to meet the Mullets?”

“No.” He opened the door. “Come with me.”

Laura walked next to him as they cut through the yard behind a large white house with a wooden play set in the back. They made their way to a pond at the edge of the property, near a small grove of oak and maple trees.

“Reckon we should let them know we’re here?”

“They don’t mind me coming here. They’re good people.”

They reached the edge of the pond. Sawyer stood on the bank, the toes of his work boots dangling over the edge, hovering above the murky water. Brown leaves floated on the surface. A gaggle of geese flew overhead, their honks breaking the silence as they headed south.

Laura waited for Sawyer to speak, to tell her why he’d brought her here. It was an ordinary-looking pond, but she figured there was something special about it. Special to Sawyer, anyway.

Finally he spoke. “I come out here a lot. Mostly to fish. It’s a pretty good fishing hole.”

Laura folded her arms across her chest. The wind kicked up and she shivered, but tried to hide it from Sawyer.

“Cold?”

“A little. But I’m all right.”

“I’ve got a jacket in the truck.”

Before she could protest he hurried away. She turned and looked at the pond again. Wind blew leaves against the water, forming little waves that lapped against the grassy edge. More geese flew overhead, a common sight and sound now that winter was approaching. Despite the chill and the cloudiness of the day, a sense of calm enveloped her. She was starting to understand why Sawyer came here.

He appeared behind her and put his jacket around her shoulders. She looked down at the dark blue fabric and realized it was an Amish jacket.

“You look surprised,” he said.

“I am. I figured you’d have an
Englisch
jacket. Not an Amish one.”

“I have as many Amish clothes as I do Yankee ones. Anna made sure I would fit in no matter where I was. That was important to me when I was a kid.”

“And now?”

He shrugged. “Now I don’t know.” He squatted down by the edge of the pond and ran his fingertips across the grassy edge. “I don’t know anything anymore. Feels like my entire life has been a lie.”

Laura paused. What could she say to that? She didn’t know his entire story, yet she could see he’d been through so much. Her heart reached out to this gentle, wounded man.

He looked over his shoulder and up at her, giving her a half grin. “I’m not sure why I brought you here.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Johnny and I used to fish here a lot. Mary Beth sometimes joined us.”

“That’s Johnny’s twin sister, right?”

“Yes. The one who just got married.” Sawyer gazed out over the water. “When I started high school, he asked me lots of questions about what it was like. He was curious, but not enough to want to try much outside of the Amish life. He always seemed to understand his place in the world. I have no idea what that feels like.”

Laura reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled back. She had no comfort for him, because she felt the same way. Confused. Torn in two directions. The only thing that came to mind was what her mother used to say whenever Laura asked for advice:
“You must pray.”

But prayer never seemed to be enough. Eventually Laura quit trying to talk to her mother—and to God.

“I shouldn’t have bothered you with this,” he said.

“I don’t mind.” She snuggled deeper into Sawyer’s jacket. The fabric held the scents of wood smoke and sawdust, mixed in with a smell that was unidentifiable, but made her stomach flutter. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“My mom always said it was good to talk things out.” He picked up a small rock and threw it into the pond. Ripples parted the water, sending the leaves floating in different directions. “Funny how she never told me anything about her life.”

“You grew up without knowing your grandparents?”

“Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. No brothers or sisters either. It was always just the three of us. I remember asking my mom about it. Why we didn’t ever visit any relatives and no one came to see us. All she said was that her parents and my father’s parents were dead.”

He swallowed. “My father went along with everything she said. I wonder how many more lies they told me?” He stood and faced her. “We should get back. I’m sorry I touched your cheek earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s okay. I was just . . . surprised.” She looked away. “The scars—”

“They’re barely noticeable.”

“Now look who’s lying.”

“I’m not. You might think they are when you look in the mirror. But I hardly see them.” He took a step forward. Opened his mouth as if to say something more. Instead, he turned and headed for the truck.

Laura followed him. They were halfway back to the Bylers’ shop when he spoke again.

“You know, you’re really impressive.”

More surprises. A man who wasn’t afraid to say what was on his mind. She appreciated that, just as his compliment warmed her. “That’s kind of you to say, but the job is easy. The office is very organized.”

“I’m not talking about your job.” He glanced at her. “Your attitude. The way you don’t let what happened to you bother you.”

She folded her hands together.
“Danki,”
she whispered.

If only he knew how she really felt. He had confided in her. Could she trust him enough to bare her secrets?

She’d never know unless she took the risk. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth.

Not to him. Not to anyone.

“You sure you don’t want me to pull up any farther?” The driver turned his head and looked at Cora. They were pulled over on the side of the road a few feet away from a large white house. A line of laundry hung on the front porch. But Cora barely noticed.

“No,” she said. “This is fine.”

Perfect, actually. She had an unobstructed view of Sawyer and Laura standing by the pond. He had just put his jacket over her shoulders. How sweet. And how telling.

For all his bluster about Middlefield being his home, how he didn’t care about money and couldn’t leave his
family
, Cora now knew the real reason Sawyer didn’t want to go to New York. Even from this distance she could see how close they stood together. For some unfathomable reason, he cared for her. And not as a coworker or a friend. Something much more was going on between them.

Sawyer wasn’t the only one who had insight into people.

Sawyer and the woman turned around and left the pond.

Cora leaned forward. “We’re finished here.”

“Are you—”

“Drive!” She looked out the window. She couldn’t risk Sawyer seeing her here.

“You don’t have to be rude about it.” The driver yanked on the gearshift and pulled onto the road. As they drove away, Cora knew exactly what she needed to do. By tomorrow, she would be on a plane to New York.

With her grandson.

After dropping Laura off at the shop, Sawyer went on home. As much as he’d like to use work as a distraction, he couldn’t seem to manage it. Couldn’t focus. Besides, he and Laura had spent more time than he thought at the pond. It was near quitting time. Even if he could work, he wouldn’t get much done.

At least he wouldn’t have to face Cora.

Questions about his past still whirled inside his head. He just wasn’t willing to meet her terms to find out why his parents had lied.

But when he walked into the house, he found her seated in the living room. Alone.

“I thought you were gone.”

He didn’t move far from the door. Or take off his hat. He wouldn’t get comfortable with her.

“I changed my mind.” She gestured to the chair next to the couch. “Sawyer. Join me. Please.”

He perched on the edge of the chair. “I haven’t changed my mind.”

“I understand. I know now we started off on the wrong foot.”

She looked at him. “I’m used to having things my own way.”

“I didn’t notice.”

She smirked. “I’m also used to sarcasm. And digs. And thinly veiled insults. There’s not much you can say to hurt me, Sawyer.”

Sawyer looked up. “I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you to leave.”

“But I want to start over.” She held out a blue-backed packet of papers, even thicker than the legal papers she had presented to him yesterday. “I want you to look at this.”

“What is it?”

“My will. I had it changed when I found out about you.”

He started to shake his head, but she held the papers out to him. “You were right about legacy being important to me. But it’s not just about my legacy. Your grandfather worked hard to build Easley Industries. I don’t want the business he loved to end up in the hands of a group of investors who have no personal stake in the company’s success or failure.”