Faith and Fidelity (10 page)

It felt strange to be feeling that lust again. The burning need for someone to touch and caress and kiss him. When Matt had him down on the mattress... Evan moaned quietly, covering his face with his arm. Each kiss seemed to be building on the back of the last. He knew they were going to keep having to go further. To increase the physical act until... Until what? Evan may have had only one partner in his life but he certainly wasn't naive. He knew what could eventually happen between them. It scared him.

It excited him.

Blowing out a deep breath, Evan tried to wrap his brain around the fact that he was responding so ardently to Matt sexually. He liked looking at Matt, liked watching him move. Liked his eyes, his laugh, his sense of humor. But the desire, the want that overwhelmed him, that came when he felt Matt's concern and tenderness. When he made Evan feel like he wasn't alone, that it was okay to be tired and scared.

Matt equaled comfort.

This is what love feels like
, he thought to himself.
I remember this feeling. I want this feeling again.

He heard the door rattle and looked over to see Matt walking back into the apartment, bag in hand. His thoughtful expression took about ten years off his age. “Hey, no maudlin shit, remember?” Evan called from the mattress.

Matt's face lit up in a smile. “Right. Come and eat. And don't think you're getting away with anything. I'm going to watch you.”

A little kick of panic landed in Evan's solar plexus but he grinned through it. He got up and stretched, watched Matt walk into the tiny kitchen.

“I got chicken, pasta, bread. There's beer in the fridge,” Matt said, emptying the bag. “Throw our clothes onto the bed.” He started setting things up on the counter.

“I don't think there's much of a choice.” Evan said drily, looking around at the empty apartment. “Where are we eating?”

“The fucking formal dining room. Christ, what are you the Queen of England?” Matt rolled his eyes. He pointed to the counter. “Stand there.”

Evan dropped their suits and jackets onto the mattress, grabbed some beers out of the refrigerator and took his place on the living room side of the counter, while Matt rummaged around the drawers and cabinets for plates, forks, napkins.

“So what kind of furniture did you get?”

“Sofa... one of those pullout beds. Big beautiful recliner. Didn't want to get out of it at the showroom. Some other shit— the basics.”

Evan looked over his shoulder. “Did you get rid of everything? There's no TV or stereo. No pictures.”

Matt shrugged, shoveling pasta and chicken onto one of the plates. “Not much in the way of mementos. Got some stuff in a box— that's in the closet. Stereo and TV are small— they're in the closet too for the time being.”

“No collections of porcelain animals or clown banks?”

Matt snorted. “Your house— it's really nice. I meant to tell you that. Real comfortable, you know?”

Evan accepted the plate of food, his stomach doing flip after flip. “Thanks. Uh... Sherri... she worked hard to make it that way.”

Matt said nothing, opened a bottle of beer and took a very long drag. They had just entered dangerous territory. Evan was staring at his dinner like it was a foreign concept. And the break in his voice when he said his wife's name. Matt was about to tell a joke when Evan started talking again. Evan pushed the food around, dropped his fork to drink some of his beer. He kept his eyes moving, not settling on any one thing. “I haven't really talked about her much, have I?”

“No. I didn't think it was any of my business to ask. Too personal.”

Flicking his eyes over the mattress in the middle of the apartment, Evan drily observed, “I'd say we're pretty much past anything being too personal.”

“Good point.”

Evan took a piece of bread, ripped it into a dozen pieces, as Matt nonchalantly watched him.

“Growing up, ah, it was pretty shitty at home. My dad died when I was four. Don't really remember much about him. He was a career marine, stationed in Germany. Me and my mom moved back to the states to live in Albany afterward. She remarried about a year later, some guy she met at church.” He paused, picking up his fork to stir the pasta around for a moment. “He uh— left— four years later. We moved to Long Island after that. Another marriage. Ed was cool though. Good guy.”

“Lot of moving around.”

“Yeah. Lots of changes. Stability was never one of my mother's strong points.” He ate a small piece of the bread. Chewed for a long time, washed it down with almost half the bottle of beer. “I met Sherri in high school. First day of football practice.”

“Mmmm... cheerleader?”

“Equipment manager.” Evan smiled. “Love at first sight is an understatement. I couldn't stop looking at her. When I finally got up the courage to walk over it was like... it was like she had always been waiting for me.”

Matt swallowed a mouthful of food. Looking at Evan's face, he caught a glimpse of the man he was thirteen months ago.

“No other girlfriends, huh?”

“Never even crossed my mind. She was it— the one. I never had a doubt.”

“Never? Amazing... I can't even imagine feeling that way... ” Matt's words trailed off. “How do you like the chicken?” Matt asked. “I order from this place all the time— it's good, right?”

Evan sighed. Busted. Without a word, he took a small piece of chicken and put it in his mouth. Chewed. Looked at Matt defiantly.

“What? Do I look stupid? A molecule of chicken? Eat some fucking food please. Thank you.”

“You curse a lot.”

“Fuck you— I hardly curse at all.”

They continued their meal in companionable silence. Matt cleaned his plate— sex made him hungry. Evan on the other hand pushed his food around and ate a bite here and there. When he got through about a quarter of the plate, Matt gave up. He started cleaning, putting the leftovers away and tossing his plate and fork into the sink.

“You done?”

“Yeah. More beer?”

“Nah. I'm good.”
Hey, who said that
? Matt thought. He began washing the few things in the sink... and felt a warm body pressing up against his side. “Can I help you?”

“Just helping to clean up. Being a good houseguest.”

Matt smirked. “If you wanna be a good houseguest... ”

“Yeah?” Turning off the water, Matt turned to face Evan. They were standing close, and Evan leaned in for a kiss, which Matt artfully dodged, a smile twisting his mouth. Evan got a bit more aggressive this time, pressing his palms against the front of Matt's thighs, dragging them up— getting dangerously close to the straining fly of his shorts— stroking Matt's chest in grasping circles. He moved his hands to circle Matt's neck, roughly, tenderly... ended up tangled in his hair. Tightened his grip and pulled Matt close, pressing a light kiss on his mouth. Pulled back. Mirrored Matt's smile.

Matt blew out a long breath. He slid his arms around the other man, moved them to his lower back, fingers gently stroking. They kissed slowly, easily. Matt felt his hands sliding farther down, heard the groan it elicited from Evan. The heat between them grew with each touch, each kiss, and Matt's brain nearly exploded from the impact. He released Evan's mouth, pressed their foreheads together.

“Let's go to bed,” he whispered.

Evan nodded, his breath ragged. He stepped away, moving toward the mattress. Picked up the clothes they'd left there, threw them on the floor. He turned to Matt, still standing in the kitchen, watching his every move.

Matt crossed the room in two strides. He grabbed the front of Evan's shirt, pulling it up over his head in one move. Bit that curve between his neck and shoulder, hard. He felt himself shaking with need. He slid his hands across the waistband of Evan's shorts, brushed his fingers underneath. Pushed the fabric away to feel the flesh— hot, tight. Moved his mouth across Evan's jaw, throat. Biting.

The roar in his ears built on the sounds Evan was making... raw, anxious moans and sighs. “Lie down,” Matt rasped. He was using both hands to push Evan's shorts down, frantic to feel more of his flesh.

Evan let Matt take his clothes off. Let him manhandle him. It excited him to be overwhelmed, to be free of control for a brief moment. But he wanted the power back. He stood up, and when Matt tried to push him down on the mattress, Evan grasped his wrists.

“Mmmm... wait. Your turn.” Matt's eyes were wild as he waited. With gentle hands, Evan began to remove Matt's clothes. T-shirt over his head, shorts and underwear pushed down. Matt stepped out of his clothes and kicked them aside.

They stood, touching, naked and trembling. For a second Evan hesitated, unsure of how to touch Matt, how exactly to please him. He reached out, touched Matt's face gently. Stroked his jaw, down his throat, his chest. His hand shook but he slid slower, to touch Matt— really touch him this time. Listened to the moan as he stroked the hot flesh in his hand. It made him shiver.

Matt pressed against Evan's hand— Christ it felt so good to have someone touching him. These strong hands holding him, lightly pulling on his cock until he thought he might lose his mind. He let himself be selfish for a moment, eyes closed, giving himself over to the feelings, but he couldn't keep his hands off Evan.

Opening his eyes, Matt gave him a hard stare. “God— that feels so good.”

And Jesus that blush across the younger man's face.

Evan's hand didn't stop moving. He leaned forward and pressed an opened mouth kiss against the base of Matt's throat.

Sucked the skin so hard that Matt thought he might pass out. Matt brought his hands up to stroke the sides of Evan's face. Tightened his grip as that wet mouth trailed down a bit lower. Bit him. And that hand never stopped moving.

“Fuck,” Matt breathed. He pulled Evan's mouth away from his body, bringing their lips together in a crushing kiss. They kissed passionately, tongues fighting for dominance. Matt let go of Evan's face, grabbed his shoulders. Squeezed tightly, feeling his fingers leaving bruises.

This time Evan pulled away, breathlessly. “Lie down,” he whispered softly. He gave Matt's cock one last tight stroke, let his hand fall away.

Matt dropped down onto the mattress, lying on his back, knees apart. His look up at Evan was challenging.

Shakily, Evan stood over him, staring at Matt's body, feeling an overwhelming need to please him, to draw his own pleasure from this man.

Matt made the first move— reached up and touched Evan's leg, brushing his fingers up his thigh, teasingly touching him until Evan relented. He lay down on top of Matt, easing their bodies together with a maddeningly light touch. Matt moaned raggedly. They were both burning, the heat generated between them something he could taste.

Evan resisted the urge to rub against Matt. He wanted to make it last. He pulled himself up to kneel over Matt, reached down to clasp his hard-on again, sliding his hand slowly until the moans began. The sound made Evan almost sob with pleasure. It echoed in his ears until he couldn't stand it, until he had to suck Matt's tongue into his mouth to stop the torture. He thought he would go insane.

Evan could almost pinpoint the moment Matt gave himself over to the animal need and thrust his hips again and again. He moved his hands blindly until he clasped Evan's cock in his hand. Moved his hands in tandem.

Evan broke the kiss, practically weeping in thanks. So long, so long, his mind chanted. Too long since he'd felt this incredible rush of heat through his body. Matt was whispering to him and the words finally penetrated the fog around Evan's head.

“God, you feel so fucking good. I want to feel you come against me, I want to hear you lose your fucking mind.” Matt groaned, arching his back. He wasn't going to last much longer. “You make me so hard. You make me want to do everything to you.” He increased his hand motions until Evan's hips were grinding frantically. “I want to fuck you. I want to feel you in my mouth.”

The flash image in his mind of Matt's mouth on his cock sent Evan over the edge.

He felt himself sliding out of control, pounding hard into Matt's hand, falling forward, desperately trying to connect their mouths. “Matt... God, please... ” Evan came hard, spilling into Matt's hand, biting Matt's lips. Collapsing as his arms gave way.

Matt didn't need anything more than the feel of Evan's hard body against his to come. He slid his hands down to clasp his ass—
Oh yes
, he thought.
Oh God
. He arched up against the heat and wetness and pounded their bodies together until he couldn't think.

When he could move, Matt tightened his limp arms around Evan, sprawled across his body. “Hey,” he whispered. “You okay?”

He felt the answer rumbled against his chest. “Yeah.”

They lay there for a long time, until the dampness became cold and sticky. Matt rolled to his side, depositing Evan next to him. They kissed lazily, exhausted, sated. Dozed for a little while, their hands moving almost involuntarily across each other's chests, arms, backs.

Evan woke up, the overhead light harsh on his eyes. There was no clock and he couldn't remember where he'd put his wristwatch. He closed his eyes again, exhaustion pulling him down into the mattress. He should get up, clean himself off... but he couldn't seem to move.

He woke up again later to Matt's hand stroking his thigh. Evan started to laugh. He opened one eye to find Matt leaning over him, a suggestive grin on his face.

“Jesus Christ— more? Aren't you tired yet?”

Matt shrugged. “I recover quickly.”

“I'm old, leave me alone.”

“Yeah? I'm older— stop being such a baby.” He leaned down to slide his tongue across Evan's lips. “This is the best part— the beginning. Where you're so turned on you can barely stop fucking to think.”

Evan's mouth went dry. The low growl of Matt's words sent a wave over his damp skin. “You're sure you've never done this before?”

“What can I tell you— I'm a quick study.” Matt pulled himself up, swung one leg over Evan's body, straddling him. “And pretty much from the beginning there's been something about you— something that makes me want you.”