Faith (A Dark Romance Novel) (23 page)

Tanner slowly slid himself from me and stood, extending his hand to me and helping me to my feet. Feeling light-headed, I stumbled into him and so he bent and scooped me up and into his arms and carried me into the bedroom, gently placing me on the bed.

I watched as he went to the closet, pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a T-shirt and then grabbed one of his button-down shirts for me. Even though I now had a ridiculous amount of clothing, so much that I sometimes felt guilty for the access I had when others went without, I still wore his shirts for the most part. His scent lingered on them, and I loved wrapping myself up in him.

“Can you walk?” he asked as he watched me put on the shirt.

I nodded. “Yes.” He watched me carefully as I got to my feet. The light-headedness had passed and my strength was quickly returning. “Why?”

“I have something to show you.”

Giving him a curious look, I accepted his hand and he led me out of the room and back down the stairs, leading me towards the showroom. With each step I made towards the showroom, the sense of dread increased within me, not because I felt he was taking me there to hurt me, the exact opposite. That room, the room I’d dubbed the torture room, reminded me how easy it was for me to throw out any sense of morality and hurt someone else. I’d nearly murdered someone in that room, killed the man I loved more than my own life. That place had showed me the darkness I had in my own consciousness and it wasn’t something I wanted to see again – never again.

I couldn’t go in there.

We entered the showroom and I knew then he was indeed planning on taking me to the dreaded room. I hadn’t entered since the day of his whipping and I had no intention of entering now. I dug my heels in and pulled at his hand.

Tanner refused to release me, but stopped and turned to face me. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

My anxiety continued to increase. “I can’t. I don’t want to.” I once more attempted to yank my hand from his, but his grasp was ironclad. He stepped up to me and pulled me into his arms and I sank in to him, a couple of tears escaping my eyes. “Don’t make me.”

He cupped my chin and forced my eyes to his. “Do you trust me?”

I nodded.

“Then believe that I’m doing this for you. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

I looked past his shoulder to the closed door behind the bar. I didn’t want to go in there, anywhere but there, but despite my own desires I found myself nodding and agreeing to go in. He led me the rest of the way across the room and to the door. It felt like my feet were weighed down with bricks, but I made it.

Opening the door, I was immediately confronted with the fragrance of flowers. Lots of flowers and various scents. Tanner flicked on the light and the room came alive. A gasp of disbelief escaped my lips and I didn’t need any more prompting to proceed into the room.

“It’s… I don’t… My goodness.” My mouth fell open as my eyes scanned the room. All of the furniture was the same, but it didn’t look like the room I knew. It was packed with flowers – roses, lilies, carnations, wildflowers and hundreds of yards of ribbon. Some of the flowers I hadn’t even seen before. “How did you do this?”

Tanner gaze me a lopsided smile and shrugged. Tanner wasn’t exactly a romantic guy – romance tended to make him severely uncomfortable – but heck, he’d really gone all-out this time. “Brought them in the back way while you were busy with supper, and I knew you wouldn’t come in here.”

“But why?”

“You’ll figure it out.”

Giving him a bewildered look, I spun around in a circle, attempting to see everything he’d done. But when my eyes landed on the whipping post I took a step back. Although the whipping post didn’t even remotely resemble what it was. It was wrapped in greenery and flowers. Something glittered. I couldn’t make it out, but the light caught a hint of metal and something glittering. My curiosity got the better of me and I proceeded farther into the room, to the post.

I stopped in front of the post, and dangling from a red ribbon was a gold ring, with a massive solitaire diamond. I frowned, not sure what this meant, as I reached out and fingered the ring. I don’t think I’d seen a diamond so large in my life, aside from on television. 

“I thought the best way to change your perception of this room would be to replace the bad memories with good ones,” he said, the warmth of his breath tickling the side of my neck. Reaching past me, he released the knot in the ribbon and retrieved the ring.

As I spun around to face him, he dropped to one knee and took my left hand in his right. “Emily, I know what we have is—”

“Complicated,” I offered with a timid smile. Was this happening? Was this really happening?

He smiled as he looked up at me. “Royally fucked up, was what I was thinking, but complicated works as well.”

“Another way of putting it.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that you can leave here tomorrow and go on with your life and have a happy, fulfilling one without me.”

“No.” I shook my head. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

“Yes, yes you could. But I can’t, Emily. I feel things that I didn’t know I could feel and never had a desire to try to feel…until you. I’m a selfish person. I won’t even attempt to deny it. I need you in my life, Emily. You’re the only thing that can keep me grounded. And I can’t live without you.”

“I never dreamed, you’d…” This wasn’t something he had even hinted at. We’d never even discussed the topic. To be honest, I’d assumed considering his view of the church and the norms of  society that marriage would be the last thing on his mind.

“I didn’t. Not until the day I fell in love with you. You’re the only one who truly understands me. Even my mother, despite her efforts, couldn’t understand me how you do.” I saw uncertainty in his eyes and, if I hadn’t known better, fear… Of me? Of my answer? It floored me.

“You mean, marriage, at a church, with vows and…” God, I felt so stupid for being so daft right then, but I needed to be clear. I didn’t want to let myself feel hope until I knew for sure. Just when I thought I finally had Tanner figured out, he’d do something like this and shock me all over again.

“If that’s what you want and if I don’t burst into flames when I set foot in the church.” His smile returned. “I know I’m a bastard of the worst kind and I have no doubt that I don’t deserve you. But I’m going to ask you anyhow… Will you marry me, Emily?”

My entire body trembled. I didn’t even have to think about it. I didn’t have a single image of the future that didn’t include him in it. “Yes. Oh, yes. A million times yes!”

He let out a loud breath as he slid the huge diamond onto my finger. I was momentarily speechless as I looked at the diamond gleaming under the light. It was so hard to believe that the journey had ended us up here, but it had. While we’d both compromised and learned how to bring out the best in each other, I knew our philosophies would never completely align. But that was okay.

I’d spent most of my life wondering what God had in store for me, but now I didn’t need to speculate. I knew. I wasn’t meant to be some puppet for a man, like my father had brought me up thinking. And I wasn’t a martyr to keep a monster at bay. I was meant to be happy with a man who completed me in every way.

To others our story would read as some insane horror story about a couple of disturbed and delusional people and not the love tale that it was, but that’s all right. There’s something to be said about looking into the darkest depths of your partner’s mind and, after having a glimpse behind the black curtain of their soul, still loving them despite it – even because of it. I know that even though what we have is extreme, it’s real. He stated I’d be fine without him, but that’s a lie. I’ve changed too much over the past few months. I’d never be fine again, not without him.

The End.

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Description:

Gwen
When I close my eyes and manage to block out the horrors going on around me and ignore the aches and pain in virtually every inch of my body, I can still hear the cheers of the audience as I'm lifted into the air by my teammates. For those few brief moments as I remember toppling from the top of the pyramid I feel like I'm flying, I'm free and nothing can hurt me.
 

But, I was wrong...
How long would it take before they stopped missing me; stopped looking; before I was forgotten about completely? A month? Six months? A year? I'm no longer a person. I'm a commodity.
Lance
I have a plan, years in the making. It's perfect - foolproof. All I need is to keep myself focused on the big picture - my ultimate goal. But then she arrived...
She tests my patience and my will. She angers and frustrates me, making the darkness within scream to be released. I want to ignore her, but I can't. I need to let her go, but can't seem to allow her to be sent away.
She's going to ruin everything...

Excerpt From

Obsessed

By

Terry Towers

Available Now

Chapter 1

Elijah

“Help me! Somebody!” His pleas echoed throughout the small bathroom, but fell on deaf ears.

“Why won’t you just fucking die already!” I growled, tightening my grip on the screaming man’s shoulders and plunging him down into the bathwater for a third time. A third goddamned time! And who in the fuck did he think was going to help him anyhow? We were the only two people in this shitty-assed apartment. Idiot. In this part of town screaming for help was a usual thing, not like anyone around here would attempt to help even if they did hear.

The man – Mark Gibbons aka Speed Daddy – was a local drug dealer and pimp. He’d killed one of his girls a couple of weeks ago, but because she was a prostitute the police didn’t spend much time getting the details. It was still an open investigation and it would remain that way. Melissa wouldn’t get justice unless I got it for her. The fact there was going to be one less crack pusher on the streets was a happy bonus.

Beethoven blasted from the other room; it was the music that allowed me to creep in undetected. He’d been reclined in the bathwater high as a fucking kite, drinking a beer and enjoying a bubble bath. The way Speed Daddy lived his life it was a shock he wasn’t dead already. The fag even had aromatherapy candles lining the tub. Like, fuck, really man? Aromatherapy candles? Now, I gotta stop right now and say that when I use the word fag I’m not saying he was gay, I wouldn’t insult gay people by grouping this piece of shit with them. I have a huge respect for the injustices they face each and every day just because they’re trying to live their lives being honest with themselves. I’m saying he was a stupid-assed, waste of breath criminal. That’s what I’m saying. Perhaps I should consider using a different, more politically correct word? Bah, fuck it.

He gurgled under the water, a new line of bubbles forming over his head as he screamed under the water. “I’ve got places to be, motherfucker. Let’s just get this over with.” I pushed him down another couple of inches. One minute passed. Two minutes. Three minutes later he was no longer struggling. I kept him under another solid minute – just in case, ya know, I’m thorough like that. I wouldn’t want to let him up just for him to get a breath of air and have to start this process all over again. All of his struggling had gotten my suit wet, which pissed me off – hardcore. Now I had to go change before I went to see her.

Another minute passed and it was over. Finally. I let out a sigh of relief.

Releasing him, I pulled my black-gloved hands from the water. My favourite gloves to boot, they’d never go back to normal after being drenched like they’d been. Gonna have to take a stop by Madison Avenue tomorrow, I’m a brand whore – sue me. Although with it being summer getting a pair of fingered gloves would be a chore. Stupid murdering, crack-dealing piece of shit made me ruin my gloves.

I chuckled, who am I to talk… 

Mark’s body floated to the top of the water, his eyes wide as if they were about to pop out of his head.
They float, they all float down here Georgie…
The line from the Stephen King book
It
came to my mind as I watched the dead man float in the tub, pulled off my gloves and straightened my suit. Wouldn’t it have been a riot if Mark’s name had actually been George? A snort of laughter escaped me as I turned from the dead man and left the bathroom.

I didn’t pause or take time to explore the pigsty of an apartment. It was disgusting. Empty and partially empty food containers all over the tables and some on the floors. Used needles and drugs spread across the coffee table in the living room and everything seemed to have a layer of dust on it. I also noticed a used condom on the end table by the sofa; well, look at that, Speed Daddy was a safety guy. I huffed. Jesus man, get yourself some self-respect and clean up a bit. Not that it mattered now, I supposed.

But seriously though, how does someone live in filth like this? Boxes of crap were piled everywhere I could see. And it stank – badly. If someone didn’t find him right away I seriously doubted anyone would be able to smell his decaying corpse over the stink in this place. And believe me, a decaying corpse that hasn’t been embalmed stinks like nothing you’d ever want to smell. The smell etches itself in your brain and can never be forgotten. 

Normally I got paid to kill someone. A guy’s gotta eat, ya know. But I killed Mark as a community service. You’re welcome Newark, NJ.

I pulled my mirrored sunglasses from the inside pocket of my suit and put them on before leaving the apartment. Walking down the hallways towards the exit I didn’t see a soul; it wasn’t until I was leaving the building that I bumped into an older lady. I opened the heavy glass door for the elderly lady and stepped aside, motioning for her to exit.

“Thank you, young man.” She graced me with a smile as she passed by me. I was twenty-eight years old, but have been told I have a youthful look and could easily pass for my early twenties.

“Welcome, ma’am.” I exited not looking back. The woman wouldn’t remember me when and if the cops found Mark. If by chance she did, she’d never be able to identify me. I was just another person in a sea of unremembered faces who entered and exited the building that day.

~*~*~*~

I hated standing in lines. If it weren’t for her I’d never come to these things. But I have to say, there’s a certain charm to Comic Con conventions. I got a kick out of some of the costumes. Some people put a lot of time and effort into their costumes and you really had to respect the dedication. But one thing I hated were the fangirls. My God – screaming, eager teenagers. You know what, I could almost understand the teenagers, but married, middle-aged women would whoop and scream at the sight of their favourite stars as if they were teenagers. It was weird.

The autograph line moved forward and I moved with it. I was next – finally. I watched as Sidney Lopez made eye contact with the woman on the other side of the table from her and said something to her. Sidney was beautiful. A goddess in my eyes and the eyes of millions of others. I’d been in love with Sidney since we were kids, but she just didn’t know it – yet. She brushed her long chestnut-coloured hair back with her hand and smiled at the woman before signing her name to the poster the woman had presented her with.

Come on, come on, come on
. The woman in the Star Trek costume at Sidney’s table was a chatty one. She just would not shut up.
Come on lady, there’s a hundred people behind you
. No exaggeration, there were at least a hundred people behind me waiting for a minute with her. Finally she stopped talking, shook hands with Sidney and moved aside so I could step up to the table. Quickly I passed fifty bucks to Sidney’s male assistant/bodyguard – whatever he was – sitting next to her and shuffled over to Sidney without giving him a second glance.

“Hey there.” Sidney gave me a wide smile as her gaze locked with mine.

For a moment I was tongue-tied, like I always was around her. What a joke I was. I’m a hit man who can snap a man’s neck without a second thought, but when in front of Sidney I become a blabbering teenager. I wish she didn’t have this hold over me. She was the only one in the world who made me feel this way and I was helpless to it. She was my Lois Lane and kryptonite all rolled up into one beautiful package.

Sidney nodded to the single red rose in my hand. “That for me?” Her smile widened.

She snapped me out of my trance and I passed the rose to her. “Yeah, it is.” She immediately brought it to her nose and inhaled deeply. I knew giving celebrities presents usually ended with them going to a nursing home or shelter, but I always felt the need to give her something. She’d given me so much without knowing it that it felt like it was the least I could do. I also slid a head shot of her towards her. It was a stunning black and white photo for her to autograph.

“So who do I make it out to?” she asked, setting the rose down onto the table next to her and picking up a silver marker.

“Elijah.”

“Elijah, I really love that name,” she said, looking back up and smiling at me again before continuing to sign her message. She said that every time I had her sign something for me.

“Thanks.”

“Are you enjoying the con?”

“I’m just here for you.”

She looked up again, putting the cap back on the marker. “That’s so sweet.” She cocked her head and eyed me a minute. I wondered if this was the time she’d finally remember me. “I appreciate you saying that. Have a great weekend, Elijah.” She extended her hand to me and I accepted it. Her hand was so tiny and delicate in mine and as we shook hands, the simple contact sent a rush of heat through me. But then it was over and her attention was being directed towards a teenaged girl behind me in line.

Walking away I looked down at the photo. It read
To Elijah, lots of love. Sidney Lopez. xoxo
. I had dozens of these now, all carefully put away in an album.

~*~*~*~

Sidney

“This way Miss Lopez.” One of the convention staff led me into a curtained corridor away from the convention-goers that led to the photo-ops area. I both loved and hated the photo ops. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated that people would actually pay money to have their photo taken with me, it was a terrific ego boost. But here’s the thing, when people spend hours in jam-packed convention centers, many people in plastic costumes, they can sometimes get stinky. And having to keep a smile pasted on my lips and pretending I didn’t notice the massive BO could at times be challenging, even for the best of actors. There was also the fact that some men – and women for that matter – got very hands-on. I’d lost count of the amount of times someone had
accidentally
touched my breast or grabbed my ass. I was an actress not a prostitute!

“Right in here, Miss Lopez.” The staff member directed me to a photo booth, which was a curtained-off area roughly 10 x 12 feet in size, where a photographer was already set up and waiting along with two bodyguards, one posted by the entrance to the photo booth and one in the opposite corner of me. 

“Thank you.” I gave the convention worker a smile of gratitude. The staff and volunteers at these conventions were severely overworked. I really felt bad for them at times, especially when attendees started blaming them for things that were beyond their control. But, it was only for two days and then it was over and on to the next one.

“Are you ready for us to start bringing people in?” the security by the entrance asked.

I pasted a smile on my face, a smile that would be stuck there for close to an hour until my face hurt from holding it like that for so long, while hundreds of people came and went, and nodded. “Sure am. Let’s get this done.”

And so it began. Person after person was brought in, like an assembly line. Woman, men, kids, elderly, a vast variety of people. In. Smile. Flash. Goodbye. Out. Next. Less than thirty seconds per person.

But then he appeared. You have to understand that I usually do three conventions a month. I sign thousands of autographs and take just as many pictures with people all around the country. It’s impossible to remember everyone, especially considering how quickly people are pushed through. But the man who was walking towards me seemed familiar. I just couldn’t place him. I vaguely remembered him from signing an autograph earlier, he’d given me the rose – his name was… Elijah. But, I don’t know, he seemed familiar. Maybe previous conventions? I shrugged it off. If I knew him personally surely he would have said so. If I had a quarter for every time I heard, do you remember me from,
blah, blah, blah…
I could retire.

He was handsome. Very handsome and tall, maybe six or seven inches taller than my 5’8. He could easily be a celebrity heartthrob. I could actually picture him on the cover of a magazine. The only thing marring his handsome face was a two-inch scar along his jaw, but in a way the scar gave him an air of mystery and danger. It was very attractive to me. He was wearing a grey turtleneck sweater and faded blue jeans, all hugging his athletic build. His gait was strong and determined, but when his eyes locked to mine there was insecurity – just like there had been at the autograph table. Not that that look was unusual for convention-goers, many people were nervous around me, but it wasn’t something I would expect from someone like him.

“Hey again.” I flashed him a wide smile and when he got within reaching distance I stepped up to him and gave him a hug. I usually don’t initiate hugs with men. Usually I try to limit hugs to children and the odd elderly person who may pass through, but it seemed like the right thing to do and I kinda wanted to find out what it would be like to be held by him. I’m not sure why, but I did.

“How are you?” He held me tight to him a moment longer than necessary and released me, not even trying to touch me in an inappropriate nature. Normally I’d do a standard side-by-side picture with my arm around his back, but decided to try something different.

“Good.” I took a step back and surveyed him, pulling my lower lip between my teeth as I considered. He returned my stare, but not saying anything. I could see my scrutiny was making him uneasy though. “Wanna try something different?”

A smile spread across his lips. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

“Pick me up.” I walked over to him and waited for him to do as instructed. He gave me an unsure look. I laughed at his hesitation. “Come on. We have to make this picture a good one right?”