Fairy Thief (28 page)

Saffron bit her lip to keep from spewing fire. Let him make love to his cow — he was insane. “Let’s get out of here. How do we get out?”

Orji grabbed her wrist, twirled her around, and grinned. “A portal — we need a portal!” His face contracted with swirling emotion — shock, confusion, shocked confused. Finally, his face became devoid of all expression. “And, I can find it!
I’m
the one who can find this portal because….” He looked towards the sun as it sunk into the ocean. “….because it’s out over that water.”

A huge grin spread over Saffron’s face.

Orji smiled triumphantly and smiled down at her as she beamed at him. His eyes traveled over her lips. He opened his mouth to speak – then remembered their kiss…. What had gone wrong? Why had it felt like he was kissing a doorknob? Memories were still coming back to him about this girl. Slowly, but surely, he was realizing the position they were in. When he had met her back at the fruit cart, he was operating on pure instinct. He had looked at her, was struck by her raw, wild beauty, and decided he needed a taste of her. He had no memory of their previous encounters to stop his advance. But now, those memories were slipping back, and actively eating at him like a disease out of remission. With the memories came the irritation. He didn’t
want
this girl. He was relieved kissing her was so unexciting — it put an immediate end to a situation that could have been even more embarrassing. What if they had gone further?

They found a boat abandoned on the beach. A little dinghy, really, in need of a scrape and a paint job. At least it was sea-worthy. There was some trouble getting Deva into the thing and settling her down, but, finally she sat, her legs folded under her. Throughout the process, there was nonstop bickering — Saffron wanted Tai or Wo to zap Deva into a miniature cow, Deva protesting vehemently that it was not necessary to change her size, so she wouldn’t give her consent, and Orji grumbling under his breath.

Saffron sat beside Deva on a splintering bench while Tai and Wo flew beyond the bow, tugging the vessel towards the sea with an old, frayed rope. Orji was behind the boat, pushing with all his might. Finally, the boat parted from the sandy bottom and set adrift towards the sun. Orji jumped in and rowed with one pitiful oar.

“
Which direction?” Tai was not thrilled to rely on the starry-eyed Orji. He wished there was a tree in the middle of this wide water so he could depend on himself. But, what if there were? The trees in this realm, so he had discovered, were as whacked-out as the people — no memories of anything constructive, just some emotional jargon and vague yearnings. He spat into the waves.

“
Straight towards the setting sun,” Orji said with confidence, then looked back and settled his eyes on Saffron. He had no idea what he was talking about, ‘straight for the setting sun.’ He laughed a bit maniacally — recovering his memories was grueling. This place had brought his mother back to him, and it was all the more unbearable because she wasn’t real. As they floated farther and farther away from land, the blissful feelings lived-out there dissipated like fog in the sunlight.

Saffron and Deva frowned at Orji. He seemed...not too well in the head. Their woman’s intuition had united them. They exchanged knowing looks. They huddled together and looked back at the shore as it drifted out of reach.

Chapter 16

I
t was as if they were pummeling down an outer-space, alpine slide — whooshing around smooth curves and barreling down steep inclines of clear, empty blackness. Upon their rude delivery into a field, they streaked across rough grasses that made their teeth chatter.

“
Will this ever get predictable?” Saffron moaned, and received only a few grunts and swears for answers.

The trip from the ocean to this new realm had shaken them all. They had been slowly floating out to sea, when, suddenly, their little boat shot forward. As if caught up in a hurricane-force wind, they were shoved towards the sun, then spun about in the water multiple times before they were pulled straight up into the sky – boat and all. After several moments – filled with screams, grunts, and moos – they were here, in a field.

“
Let’s get out of the field, folks, and into that dense forest just over there. We don’t know where we are. Come on now, stealth mode, everybody.” Orji lowered his brow and looked furtively around as he made for the forest with long, quick strides.

Saffron, Wo, Deva, and Tai struggled to their feet. They left the boat sitting in the middle of the field and moved to follow Orji into the cover of trees. Wo flicked his right wing several times, just like a person whips his hand to get his elbow to pop.

This land didn’t look much different than the Earthrealm in summer. The trees were lush with green leaves. The sky was robin’s-egg blue and the gold field grasses waved whenever a breeze touched them. They crossed a tiny stream that burbled clear, cool water – the only thing that set it apart from Earthrealm streams was vibrant, yellow rocks that glowed and hummed as if electrically charged scattered up and down the river banks. Saffron breathed a sigh of relief. That other world — she couldn’t even describe it — had been too cockamamie for her.

They walked a couple hundred feet into the forest and came upon a slightly elevated spot covered in pine needles. It seemed like a good place for a temporary camp.

Back in their little boat, in the Dreamrealm, slow sailing had set Saffron nit-picking. She glared up at Tai till he could ignore her no longer, and finally, shouted, “What…?”

“
What are you waiting for?” Saffron tapped her toe impatiently.

“
Holy crap, crazy woman – what are you
talking
about?”

She huffed. “Tai, somewhere back there in mind-meld land, our packs disappeared. Don’t you think you’d better get us some prep and props while we’re safe? Who knows if you can use magic in the next realm!” She shook her head like he was the biggest dolt on the planet.

Wo held his hand up to Tai. “Don’t say a word. Let’s just do it. You know it makes sense.”

So, Tai and Wo conjured up new cloaks for them and fulfilled wishes for various do-dads.

“
Can’t you like, summon up a yacht for us? A yacht with an engine? This slow-ass dinghy is going to sink and drown your girlfriend…. Saffron eyed Deva wearily.

“
Yeah, sure — can you give me a thousand push-ups for
my
enjoyment, Saffron?” Not for the first time, Tai chucked Saffron the bird.

Saffron snorted and ordered her cloak be put back in the ether. She didn’t want a cloak; she demanded a pashmina scarf — of alpaca — just like her scarf at home. The scarf was eight feet long, three feet wide and the electric, magenta color of a Caribbean sunset. She ordered black jeans too, and a black, turtle-neck sweater. Under the sweater, was a black, fitted t-shirt, and steel-grey camisole

Wo and Deva tilted their heads together and smiled at Saffron’s picks — the vivid pashmina, the impossibly soft, alpaca-fiber sweater and scarf, and the same tall boots she had had on since they changed back on the clouds.

Tai rolled his eyes. To him, Saffron couldn’t be more ridiculous. He adjusted the hood of his new cloak around his head and sat regally at the stern as tiny waves licked the sides of the boat.

Tai and Wo had worked for a long time, redressing everyone, and filling their packs with what they argued would be the best stuff to have as they moved forward. For the final touch, Wo and Tai presented Deva with a thick blanket for her back, and a heavy gold chain on which hung a large ruby. They put it around her neck. She sighed with pleasure.

“
Wait, Tai – where’s our monocle?” Wo gave his lederhosen pockets a pat-down.

“
I don’t know, man. I don’t know where the last several weeks of my life went, never mind that damned thing.”

“
Tai! That was ancient! Fairy-made!” Wo gave Tai’s lederhosen pockets a pat-down.

Tai giggled. “Whataya doin’? Stop that!”

“
Tai, we can’t go back to the realm without that – they’ll kill us!”

Tai shrugged. “They can kiss my ass. I was a zombie – how could I possibly have kept track of it?”

Saffron groaned. “Just stop your whining and make another one.”

Tai and Wo both looked at her like she was a cross-dressing gnome.

Wo shook his head. “We can’t just make something like that – it takes elders and ceremonies and gods present to conjure up one of those things….”

Saffron tsk-tsked. “You guys are in huge trouble.”

“
Yeah, if we ever get home.” Wo magicked up a shiny, new oar for Orji to row with.

Orji grunted. “Yeah, a small engine was too much to ask for, right?”

Wo sighed as he continued to pull small necessities out of the air.

All of that magic had given off such a large plume, the dreamers on the far-off shore thought they were seeing an aurora borealis effect.

Now, in the new realm, the twins left, searching for signs of Ny or essence of fairy. Saffron rummaged through the packs for their tents. Deva was off a little ways, trying to find suitable munchies.

“
Isn’t it weird – you don’t have to set up those tents at all…we could just sit here and let hurricanes pound us….” Orji was smiling. It was a wistful smile, but he was grinning — like usual.

“
Tents wouldn’t help us in a hurricane, anyway, Orji – I’m setting these up for appearances, in case anyone from this realm comes across us….”

“
Yeah, I know. I know. I’m just amazed at how much we do for show, and how little we really need.” When she reached for another tent pole he tilted his head so he could see better – her sweater fit so snugly to her waist…. “Saffron….”

She been bending over, trying to figure out which pole went in which hole.

“
Will you stop fussing? I want to talk to you.” Orji’s voice came from close behind her; it was low and warm – as if he was touching her.

She shot up and stood pin-straight. She felt very alone with him, here. Her ears began to burn as she felt control sliding out of her ghostly muscles. This was way too uncomfortable. “Orji, shouldn’t you be off to town – trying to find out what people are like…?”

He smiled at her and didn’t answer.

“
You know…like usual…don’t you need to get going?” She pointed in the direction from which they had come.

“
Why don’t you come with me?” He was standing there, so innocent-looking. So welcoming.

Saffron was tempted. “Aaahh, no.” She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the tent in dismissal.

“
Come on, Saffron. Come adventuring with me, live on the edge. There’s lots to discover….” He walked right up behind her, clapped his big hands on her shoulders, and rubbed them vigorously. He bent down and whispered in her ear, “It’ll get your blood flowing!”

Saffron jumped when he touched her and gave a little yip. When he started whispering in her ear, she moved away from him. It was embarrassing to be touched, knowing she felt wrong to others — as if her soul was diseased and contagious. What was up with him? He was in the same predicament that she was in — didn’t he mind that he felt like a Ken doll to everyone else?

“
Stop it, Orji!” She didn’t
want
to go into town. She didn’t
need
those people staring at her. There was no
reason
for her to subject herself to that when Orji could do it, and didn’t care if people stared at him.

Orji looked thoughtful. “When I found you in the Dreamrealm, by the crate with mangoes, you were alone — all alone in a bustling town. You weren’t all stressed out and timid then. Do you remember that?”

Saffron’s hand flew to her throat as she fought down an eruption of shame. His words had brought the scene screaming back. The kiss. The kiss she had wanted, at that moment, more than anything in the world. The kiss that bombed so badly. She didn’t want to think about
that.
After all, they were here to find Markis — that was the mission — not to get Saffron over her fear of townies. She made a noise of disbelief and shook her head. “I had no memories in that Dreamrealm,” she replied with a superior, knowing air. “I didn’t remember that I hate walking around alone. Now I remember. Now I don’t want to.”

Orji hunkered down, balanced his rear-end on his heels, and leaned his arms on his knees for balance, “Can’t you find some strength in that? I mean, if you did it before, and did it well – can’t you go into this town with a new mindset?”

She still couldn’t put the right pole in the right hole. She threw both of the fiberglass rods to the ground and roared, “Orji! Just go, will you? I need to get
this
done!” She stalked away from him, over to Deva, where she proceeded to chastise the cow for her habitual eating.