Fair Play (11 page)

Nick

Two waffles and a cup of coffee later, I’m helping Scarlet into her clothes and fixing her hair. I’m pretty good at the hair thing, but Scarlet chooses her own clothes. She says I don’t make good matches, and she’s right, Mimi always used to handle her wardrobe.

I’m missing her more every day. We need to make a visit to her sister’s house before we leave on Tuesday for Hawaii.

Scarlet is excited to go on vacation. She can’t wait to be surrounded by family for two solid weeks. She doesn’t know the underlying reason for the trip. If she did, she wouldn’t be so excited to go.

My Aunt Serena is dying of breast cancer, and the family is going to spend time with her before she is too sick to enjoy it.

Serena is one of the most generous, joyful, upbeat people I’ve ever known. She would give a stranger all the money in her purse if she thought they needed it. She volunteered at a homeless shelter for ten years when she lived in Texas. She was married to my Uncle Stan, who was a total asshole for the most part. I never understood why she put up with his criticizing ways and negative attitude toward life in general. She was a ray of sunshine, and he was a storm. I was relieved when he died five years ago. When he was gone, Aunt Serena moved to Hawaii to retire in paradise. I thought karma had finally dealt her the best hand, but the irony of her diagnosis is painful at best.

She was an oncology nurse for twenty-five years, helping people through round after round of miserable chemotherapy, only to end up watching them die.

Now it’s her on the other end of the cancer diagnosis, and there is no nurse as good as she was to comfort and care for her, because she was the best.

The hardest part of the trip is that Serena wants us all to come and visit, but when we leave, we will be saying goodbye forever.

She doesn’t want a funeral, she doesn’t want us getting together to “blubber over her cold body,” as she puts it. She doesn’t want us to waste our money on plane tickets and a casket when she dies. But most of all, she doesn’t want to disrupt our lives, which is so Serena, to not want to inconvenience anyone with her death.

That’s why I wanted our pictures done before we went on ‘vacation.’ I want to make sure she is surrounded by us in some way when she passes. Mom and Dad and Nora had some done about six months ago when I was in Florida playing against the Dolphins in the finals, so we couldn’t be there.

We plan on taking plenty of pictures while we are there, but Mom didn't want to have to worry about taking the pictures ourselves. She wanted them done by a professional, and she threatened my life if I didn’t find someone to do it.

Serena is Mom’s only sister, and she has been struggling with her decision to die alone since she was diagnosed as terminal a year ago. I think having the pictures taken is her way of having some control over an uncontrollable situation.

“Daddy, I want Téa to come on vacation with us.”

I pause with the hairbrush midair and look at her in the mirror, where we are standing in the bathroom.

“You do?”

She nods her head up and down vigorously.

“I thought you wanted to spend time with your family while we are on vacation.”

“We can make Téa family. She can be my mommy.”

Her words pierce my heart like a samurai sword. I have always tried hard to keep Mariah alive in Scarlet’s mind. I tell her something new about her mother every single day. I have pictures of her all over the house. We recognize Mother’s day and Mariah’s birthday every year, and she sleeps with the unicorn comforter she sewed for her before she was born every night.

Mariah is not replaceable, and Scarlet needs to know that.

“No, Letty. You only have one mommy. Nobody can take her place. She loved you more than anything on earth.”

“But she left me.”

I turn her around on the stool she’s perched on and place my hands on her little shoulders with tears welling in my eyes.

“She didn’t leave you, baby. She would never leave you on purpose. She got sick. She couldn’t help it. It wasn’t her fault, please try to understand, it wasn’t her fault.”

Scarlet reacts to the pain in my voice by trying to comfort me. My four-year-old daughter wraps her little arms around my waist and hugs me tight.

“Don’t cry, Daddy,” she says, patting the small of my back.

One lone tear slips down my cheek and disappears into her hair, and I swear for the millionth time to keep my composure around Scarlet. 

“I’m not crying. I just want you to know how much your mommy loved you. It’s my job to make sure you know that.”

“I know. I like Téa too, though. She’s funny and pretty, and she takes neat pictures.”

I hold her out at arm’s length when I’m positive there will be no more tears shed for my wife today and kiss her on her nose.

“I like her too, but she’s our friend, not your mommy, okay?”

“Okay.” She hops down off the stool, and I grab her hand.

“Hey there, Princess, hold on, I’m not done yet.”

She snatches the brush from my hand and takes off running down the hall, giggling.

“Téa!” she yells. “Do my hair!”

I sigh and sweep all of her hair paraphernalia into the first drawer in the vanity and follow her downstairs.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em I guess.

I stop on the last step in the foyer and watch as Téa gently pulls the brush through Scarlet’s curls and gathers it up into a neat bun on top of her head. They are sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, where it looks like Téa has been working on editing our pictures. Téa’s hair is down and straight as a stick. She’s freshly showered and dressed in a long white peasant skirt that is bunched up around her thighs, bare feet, and another one of her unique t-shirts. This one is a tank top that simply says Milk. No picture of a glass of milk, no Got Milk mustache or logo, just Milk.

It’s weird but it’s her, and that makes me like it.

Scarlet is between Téa’s legs, and they are chatting quietly about My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake while a slide show of the proofs from yesterday’s photo shoot plays on her laptop.

I take a step back and stand behind the wall with my eyes closed. I take a deep breath in and hold it.

That should be Mariah and Scarlet. I don’t know why God saw fit to take her from us. What could possibly warrant leaving a child motherless and an adoring husband a  widower? I’ll never understand it, not ever.

When I have my composure, I blow out every bit of oxygen from my lungs and enter the living room with a smile.

“Wow Letty, your hair looks beautiful.”

“Téa did it, see?” she says, turning her head left and right to give me the full effect.

I catch Téa’s eyes, and something in them gives me pause. This moment feels exactly right. Like it was meant to be or déjà vu or destiny, I don’t know, but I have no doubt that having Téa here with Scarlet in this house is absolutely one hundred percent right.

Téa and I lock eyes.

“Yes baby, I do see,” I say, answering Scarlet’s question but addressing Téa.

She tilts her head, as if she understands that there is more going on here than a father’s approval of his daughter’s hairstyle.

“What are we going to do today, Daddy?”

I walk between an overstuffed chair and the coffee table to sit on the floor next to both of them.

“I don’t know, what do you want to do today?”

Scarlet taps her finger on her round cheek while she thinks and when she’s decided, her face lights up.

“Let’s go see Mimi!” she says with all the enthusiasm of a typical four year old.

“Okay, I’ll have to call her first and see if she’s feeling up to having visitors, though.”

“Can you go too?” she asks Téa.

“Oh no sweetie, you go ahead and visit Mimi. I have a lot of work to do on your pictures today. I’ll be here when you come home, though, I promise.”

Scarlet’s bottom lip slips out in her trademark pout. That pout always means I should be ready to argue for the next thirty minutes at the least.

I tap the computer screen when a particularly adorable picture of Scarlet pops up in her slide show.

“I like this one.”

“Me too, that’s my favorite one of her by herself,” Téa says.

“I wanna see too.” The picture has passed, but Téa picks up the laptop to find it again for her. Thankfully, the diversion halts the oncoming pout fest.

“See, this one right here,” she says when she finds the picture of Scarlet skipping down the edge of the water wearing her dance costume.

Téa captured her mid-skip with both feet off the ground, and every curl on her head appears to be floating in the air.

“I like green,” she says, flashing me an I-told-you-so smile.

Four years old and she’s sticking it to me already. She knew I wasn’t thrilled about her taking that costume, and now she has proof in the form of an excellent photograph and the approval of a professional photographer that she was right. She truly does look amazing in fluorescent green spandex, just like Téa said she would.

The two of them together might be more than I can handle if they keep ganging up on me like this.

“I’m going to call Mimi. I’ll be right back. Promise you won’t be too upset if we can’t go?”

She nods her head up and down and scoots closer to Téa to watch her work. As I’m leaving the room, I see her camera on the kitchen counter. I look back at the two of them. It's a moment I want to save in case it never happens again, and I decide to capture it with a picture.

I remember the buttons she told me to press when she gave me a mini lesson on how to take a basic picture yesterday. Silently I pick up the camera, turn it on, point and shoot.

Both of them swing around when they hear the click of the camera, and I take another shot of Téa’s wide, surprised eyes. And then another of them giggling together.

“So you’re the photographer now, huh?” she says.

“When I see something beautiful, I want to capture it forever,” I say, quoting her from yesterday.

“Touché, Mr. Wood, touché.”

I switch the camera off and place it carefully back on the counter where I found it. 

“I’d like a copy of my work if you don’t mind.”

“Yes, of course,” she says, smiling. I turn to leave but sneak one last glance before heading into my office. I watch her place her hands on the floor behind her and lean back. She rolls her lips inward, as if she’s thinking about something important. Her silky hair hangs all the way to the floor, and I wish I hadn’t put the camera away so soon. She’s so relaxed and carefree, so at home and comfortable, and she is so fucking beautiful. 

Téa

The house is quiet. Nick and Scarlet have been gone for an hour, and I’m almost done editing. I need to get off the floor and stretch my legs. It’s sunny and beautiful outside but after this morning’s oppressive heat, I think I’ll wander around in the house and be nosy.

I noticed a long hall off of the living room with pictures on both sides of the walls earlier, but I didn’t take the time to stop and look at them. The first is a large portrait of Scarlet as a baby dressed in a christening gown. Her eyes were even more striking than they are now on her small baby face. She would have made a perfect baby model, but I’m sure Nick had more important things on his mind like trying to raise an infant alone.

Opposite the picture of Scarlet is one of a beautiful young woman laughing and running away from the photographer. A couple of steps farther, I realize it’s a series. The second picture shows the same woman facing the camera, but it looks like she’s running backward, holding her hands out in front of her while still laughing. The third is a selfie of Nick and the woman on the same day lying in the tall grass together, kissing.  It's Mariah and Nick before she was pregnant with Scarlet. He looks happy with his lips curved into a smile as he kisses her.

I step back and examine all three photos at the same time. The photographer did an excellent job of seizing the moment by taking the pictures in succession. He or she took each of the pictures only seconds apart at precisely the perfect moment. The way they are framed and hung makes it look like one long picture broken only by the space between them.

Next are wedding photos of Nick and Mariah. Mariah is breathtaking in her floor-length mermaid gown, standing next to Nick in his custom-tailored tuxedo.

Suddenly I feel like an intruder in Mariah’s home, like a mistress snooping around looking for clues on how to steal her husband away from her.

It’s silly, I know, but their love story is everywhere I turn. It's no wonder Nick had so much trouble moving on living in the house that his wife designed from the ground up with pictures of her everywhere. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a giant painting of her over the fireplace instead of a mirror.

I’m not jealous. I don’t think. It’s just that I like Nick a lot, and seeing how time has stood still in this house for four years makes me sad for him.

I turn around and find many pictures of Scarlet over the years. Most of them include an older, jolly-looking woman who must be Mimi. It’s obvious from Scarlet’s constant smile that she was a good nanny, probably even a great one.

The hall opens up into a large round solarium furnished with wrought iron furniture, with fat cushions covered in pink peonies. It’s like being outside but without all of the irritating things that come with nature like bugs and heat.

This solves the wanting to be outside but not wanting to be outside in the brutal heat problem. I take a seat in one of the chairs and tuck my feet underneath me. My phone buzzes in my back pocket. I slip it out and check the screen. 

It’s Bridgette. I press the green accept button and then the speaker button.

“Hey, Téa, how ya doin’?”

“Great, you?”

“Fine, fine. So, how was your photo shoot with your hot football friend yesterday?”

“It went well, like, really well.”

“Something happened, didn't it? You better tell me all about it.”

“You called me up for some juicy gossip, didn’t you, Bridgette?”

“No, I called to invite you to dinner tonight at our house. Blake decided to do the bug-free party already. He’s a crazy man, making me cook for all these people last minute.”

“I’d love to come, can I bring a date?”

“Can you?” she says, repeating my words and clucking her tongue. I can just see her rolling her eyes and shaking her head on the other end of the line.

“Of course you can bring a date. Who’s the lucky, oh Lord Jesus, you’re bringing Nico Wood to my dinner party, aren’t you?”

“If that’s all right, yes.”

“All right? Are you nuts? My husband is going to have a stroke when I tell him the Nico Wood from the South Carolina Hawks is going to be at his house eating dinner with his friends at his dining room table.”

Her voice rises with each word and by the end, she’s almost shouting. I laugh and wait for her to catch her breath. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to invite him along. I’ve never dated anyone famous before. I never thought about him being recognized in public. To me, he’s just Nick but to the rest of the world, he’s
the
Nico Wood, star quarterback for the Hawks.

“He’s just a man, Bridgette. I mean, he’s hot as hell and gracious and charming, but he’s pretty down to earth. In fact, I better ask him before I say he’s my plus one. He might not even do things like this.”

“Well, you call him up and ask then, and I won’t say anything until you let me know. You’re coming no matter what though, right?”

“Sure, count me in.”

“Good, be here at seven. I’ll text you the address, so you don’t forget it.”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know if Nick can come.”

“Sounds good, talk to you tonight.”

“Bye.”

I press the red end button on my phone and consider my outfit options for this evening. I didn’t pack for a dinner party, but Bridgette and Blake aren’t uptight. If I show up at a party full of firefighters with Nick, nobody will give me a second glance anyway, and that’s cool with me.

Back in the living room, I curl up on the couch and finish my edits. The pictures are better than I could have hoped for. The sunrise shots have a magical feel to them and the pictures on the pier look like they should be in a travel magazine.

An hour later, I hear a car pull up in front of the house, and two minutes later Scarlet is bouncing through the door, followed by her ruggedly handsome daddy.

“Hey, how’s Mimi?”

“Good, she gave me this,” Scarlet says, holding up an American Girl doll that looks exactly like her.

“She’s your twin.” She crawls into my lap, pushing my laptop aside. I chuckle at her forwardness and close it up to cuddle with her and her new doll.

Nick is standing in the entryway of the living room rubbing the back of his neck, watching us.

“Did you have a nice visit?”

“Yeah, she’s doing great. Are you okay with all of this?” he asks, waving a loose wrist in my direction.

I look down at Scarlet and back at Nick. “What? This?” I squeeze the little girl in my lap tight, and she giggles.

Nick enters the room and sits opposite us on the couch.

“Yes. I’m just so surprised. She’s so affectionate with you. Not that you’re hard to be affectionate with, far from it.” He winks, relaxing against the pillows on the couch. He toes off his shoes like he’s been dying to take them off since he left.

“She’s never been much of a cuddler.”

“I cuddle with you, Daddy,” she says, looking up from her doll to defend herself.

“I know, honey. I mean with other people.”

“I don’t mind at all. I haven’t been around kids much either, but this one is special,” I say through my teeth while I tickle her ribs.

She wiggles in my lap, smiling like it’s Christmas morning.

“I’m special.”

“That you are, Letty. I’m glad you like Téa so much, because I like her too.”

“She’s family,” Scarlet says with a firm nod of her head. Family? I wonder where that came from.

Nick moves to the edge of the couch and rests his forearms on his knees.

“Téa is our friend, baby, remember? We talked about this.”

“You did?” The words slip out of my mouth before I can think. Nick lowers his gaze to the floor between his feet.

She props her doll against my chest and places her hands on my cheeks to make sure all of my attention is on her when she speaks.

“You come to Hawaii with us. You’re family, you can go.”

I cover her hands with mine. “Oh honey, I’m not really family. I’m a guest. Do you know what a guest is?” She shakes her head back and forth.

“A guest is somebody who comes to stay with you at your house for a little while, and then they go home.”

Her smile fades, and that lip of hers pokes out. Tears well in her eyes and her hands drop from my face. I look at Nick and silently plead for help.

“You don’t have many houseguests, do you?”

“No, you’re the first one.”

“You’ve never had someone stay with you?”

“Well, yes, there’s Ben. But he’s here all the time, and I’ve always told her he was family, hence the confusion.”

Scarlet crawls out of my lap and down the couch into her father's arms. Crap, how did this happen? I’ve gone from being family to an outcast in ten seconds flat.

She turns her back on me, and I mouth the words “now what” and hold my hands out, palms up. I feel bad. I had no idea kids could become attached so quickly.

“She’ll be okay. I did, however, want to talk to you about something. You mentioned once that you weren’t crazy about working for Crush, didn’t you?”

I pull my legs up, tugging my long skirt down over them, and wrap my arms around my knees.

“Well, yes. It’s not terrible, but I would prefer to be more freelance.” I wonder where he’s going with this. We were just talking about family and vacations, and now he’s asking about my career aspirations.

“I have a proposition, but I want you to hear me out before you say no, okay?”

I sigh and rest my chin on my knees. It’s usually not good when someone thinks you’re going to say no before they even ask the question.

“How strong are your ties in Chicago?”

“My ties? Like my life? Pretty strong I suppose, my parents are there and so is my best friend. Why?”

He seems to deflate a bit but quickly rebuilds his resolve.

“I need a nanny, and Scarlet has taken to you so well, not to mention I think you’re incredible too.”

I start to speak, and he holds up his hand, palm out, to stop me.

“No, no. Listen to the rest.”

I switch positions so that I am sitting cross-legged, leaning forward.

“Okay, go ahead. I’ll listen.”

“Like I said, I need full-time help with Scarlet, and you want more freedom to start your own business. I think we can help each other out. I’d like to hire you full-time to take care of Scarlet and in return, I’ll pay you twice whatever the magazine is paying you and give you start-up money for your business. I also need a photographer for our trip to Hawaii. The trip has some extenuating circumstances that we can talk about later, but it needs to be documented professionally through photographs. It could also be a great place to build a tropical portfolio as well, you know, for National Geographic or Time Magazine.”

I am stunned into silence, sitting with my jaw in my lap. He wants to hire me as a nanny and help me start my own business? And go to Hawaii? What the hell? I feel like I just found the winning ticket to the lottery in my wallet.

“I know it’s a lot to think about. Don’t feel like you have to answer right away about all the permanent stuff, but please come with us to Hawaii on Tuesday, as a photographer and my friend.”

Scarlet turns in his lap and looks at me with big, stormy blue-gray eyes that look more like her father’s today than usual. 

“I uh, gosh. I don’t know what to say. That’s a fantastic offer.”

“Yes, life-changing, if you want it to be.”

“Are you going on the plane with us?” Scarlet asks. Her eyes are wide, and her lips part in anticipation of my answer.

What the hell, why not? I’ve wanted to quit my job at Crush for over a year now, and Nick is giving me the perfect excuse to do so served on a silver platter.

“Okay, yes, but only Hawaii. I’ll have to think about the rest.”

“Fair enough.”

Scarlet launches herself out of his lap and across the couch, squealing with joy. “You’re going! You’re going!” she sings, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Yes, I guess I am," I say with a chuckle.

I look at Nick over Scarlet’s shoulder as she squeezes me around the neck. His eyes are full of something I can’t identify. It's moments like this that I wish I could read minds. I’d like to know what’s going on in there.

He leans forward, and I think he is getting up, but instead he places his hands on the center cushion behind Scarlet and stretches over to whisper into her ear. “How about a root beer float?”

“Yes!” she slides out of my lap and takes off toward the kitchen.

“I never give her ice cream before dinner, but I've wanted to do this since we got home.” He moves closer so that we are facing each other on the couch and slides his hand behind my neck into my hair. I close my eyes, anticipating his kiss, but I feel his hand on my breast instead. I open my eyes a crack and see him watching his finger trace my nipple.

“You’re so beautiful, Téa. Can I tell you something?”

His lifts his eyes to mine, but I think I must have started holding my breath at some point, because I can’t speak. I nod my head slightly.