Eye Candy (39 page)

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Authors: Ryan Schneider

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Judging by the way Tim was making the introductions, he seemed to know them. It was then that Danny saw a stage being
set up on one side of the beach. A broad patch of sand hand been left open for dancing.

Danny cast his eyes once more to Candy.

Rory asked her something. She shook her head and motioned to the window. All eyes turned toward Danny.

Candy waved.

Danny waved back.

Rory beckoned with his arm.

Danny glanced at his suitcase. Then he looked out the window.

Down on the beach, Canary Cherrolet arrived with a tall blonde on his arm.

Danny again considered his suitcase and the ring inside it. Was he really going to propose to a robot in front of the very people who had created her? Were Tim and Rory telling the truth? Was Candy truly a robot? How could he find out for certain? If he cut her, would she bleed red? Did she have a secret button behind her ear? Clearly he could not simply ask her—it.

He was so confused.

He grabbed the ring box from within his suitcase and went downstairs.

 

~

 

Dinner was a rousing success.

The buffet was finer than any Danny had ever seen. Gali, Copper, and Turing acted as servers tending the buffet while Isaac
and Nik replenished the line with new chafing dishes from the kitchen as needed.

As Danny and Candy proceeded throu
gh the buffet, he heard other guests raving about the food as well.

Danny was formally introduced to Canary Cherrolet and his companion, Laura, who was
one of the most feared prosecutors in all of southern California. Laura shook Danny’s hand with a firm grip, nodded her head toward Candy, and said, “My compliments on your choice of company.”

Danny looked at Candy, who seemed to be blushing, and then at Canary. Canary winked and went on smiling the perfect, gleaming smile for which he was well known.

Danny and Candy took their plates and sat with Rory and Harley, Canary and Laura, and Floyd and Susannah. Harley invited Howard to join them, and Howard sat beside Harley with much thanks.

The band sat a nearby table. They were accompanied by eight women despite the table having been set for ten. The singer, Blackie, had a female to his left and right. Whitey sat beside
a woman Danny had heard introduced as Whitey’s daughter, Clara. VanCat held two knives and two forks, and his four arms and hands worked in unison, allowing him to eat simultaneously from two plates of food. Kong was flanked by two women who took turns feeding him bites of food while he leaned back in his seat with his massive arms around the ladies.

Watching the band made Danny wonder if he and Candy would be forced to dance, despite their agreement to the contrary.

“Quite a piece of work, isn’t it?” Canary asked. “Dare I even call it a piece of art.”

Danny returned his attention to the table.
“Who?”


Howard, of course,” said Canary. “First of his kind, you know. I’m quite proud of it.” Canary cut a large morsel of steak and forked it into his mouth. He turned directly to Howard. “I’m quite proud of you, Howard.”


And I of you, sir,” Howard replied.

“You see that?”
said Canary. “Not every robot has the wherewithal to be proud of something, particularly those who created it.” Canary turned to Floyd. “How’s the unit working out for you?”

Floyd and Susannah sat huddled
close, looking into one another’s eyes and taking turns feeding each other tidbits of food with their fingers.

Danny shared a look with Candy; their inclination to introduce Floyd an
d Susannah had been a good one.

Floyd inserte
d a cherry tomato into Susannah’s mouth with slow, delicate precision. “He’s working out . . . perfectly.” Floyd at last turned to Canary, and then to Howard. “In fact, I am proud to count Howard as one of my best friends.”


Human-robot friendships are nothing new,” said Harley. “From what Dr. Calvin has told me, based on her own clientele, it may one day be the norm. Isn’t that right, doctor?”

“That’s right,”
said Candy. “And I for one am all for it. This is the land of the free, after all.” She turned to Danny. “Right?”

Danny
swallowed hard. “Right.”

C
andy leaned in and kissed Danny’s lips. Did her lips feel different? Surely it was his imagination.


I understand the three of you had an unscheduled pit stop in the Salton Sea recently,” said Canary.


Under it is more like it,” said Candy.

“Of course,”
said Canary. He turned to Laura. “Their shuttle malfunctioned. Howard had to skip that sucker off the surface like a stone. Isn’t that right, Howard?”


Your witticism is indeed accurate, sir,” said Howard.


My witticism he says,” Canary laughed.


I saw it on the news,” said Laura. “Have they determined the cause?”

Danny tu
rned to Howard and found Howard’s red eyes studying him. Before Danny could reply, Howard said, “The investigation is ongoing. It would not serve to speculate.”

Harley began coughing. Rory handed her his glass of water and patted her on the back.

“Quite right, Howard,” said Canary. “Leave the matter to the professionals. I understand you did some mighty fancy flying. I don’t know if you are in need of a job, but how would you like to come work for me, as one of my personal pilots? I’d be lucky to have you.”


Thank you, sir. I enjoy being in the air very much and would relish the opportunity.”

“You hear that?”
Canary asked. “He’d relish the opportunity. Ha ha!” Canary turned to Floyd. “What do you say, Floyd? Can I steal your robot away for a few days a week?”

One of Floyd’s fingers was in Susannah’
s mouth, and neither was aware of anything going on around them.

Canary went on,
“I’ve heard of Lady Fingers but this is something new.”

Floyd and Susannah remained lost in one other.

“Never mind them,” said Canary. “How much flight time do you have, Howard?”


One thousand four hundred fifty-three-point-seven hours,” said Howard, “including my stick time with Master Danny in his Viper Jet.”

Harley turned to Danny.
“You let him fly it? I didn’t get to fly it.” She turned to Candy. “Did you get to fly it?”

“No,”
said Candy.


How come Howard got to fly it and we didn’t?” Harley asked.


Because Howard is a licensed pilot. And because he was on the stick when those Navy boys showed up and invited us to participate in their cute little live-fire exercise.”


Live fire?” asked Rory.


Well, you know, it was just a few hundred rounds and a couple of surface-to-air missiles. Nothing Howard couldn’t handle.”


First a crash landing in the Salton Sea and then live bullets and missiles?” Canary asked. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone is trying to kill you.”

Harley coughed while taking a drink of her cocktail, and the b
rown liquid shot out of her mouth and nostrils. “Captain and Coke,” she said, wiping her nose. “That burns.”


What do you say, Howard?” Canary asked. “One of my two pilots has decided to retire next month after my annual trip to Monte Carlo for the Grand Prix. You could come with us. Four weeks should be adequate for a being of your intelligence to learn the systems and procedures.”


What type of aircraft is it, sir?” Howard asked.


You hear that?” Canary laughed. “He wants to know the type of aircraft. Quite the discerning creature, this one. It’s a Gulfstream Nine, Howard. A G-Nine-Fifty. Do you know this particular aircraft?”


Certainly, sir. I read about it recently in
Plane
and
Pilot
. Service ceiling of sixty thousand feet, maximum cruise of one-point-five Mach, and a range of eleven thousand miles with the new Honeywell Merlin-Five engines.”


Which means I can go from Los Angeles to Monte Carlo without stopping for gas,” said Canary. “I also have a G-Two-Eighty-Eight, my first airplane, which is a hopped-up Two-Eighty. She’s smaller and faster but has less range. You’d be flying both aircraft, of course, depending upon the mission. If it’s a domestic, romantic deployment and we’re skipping over to Manhattan for dinner, we take the Eighty-Eight. But if we’re partying in Monte Carlo, or Cannes, or Herzliya, we’ll need the Big Bird.”


I would be delighted to accept your proposal,” said Howard.

“Very good,”
said Canary. “Talk it over with Master Floyd when he is . . . available,”–Floyd and Susannah were feeding one another juicy morsels of pineapple, and remained oblivious to the conversation–“and get back to me.”

“Very good, sir.”

Canary turned to Rory. “How are we coming on the new foresight protocol?”

Danny was soon lost by the technical complexity of Rory
’s response when he felt Candy’s hand slide into his lap and caress his penis through his shorts. Her lips nuzzled his ear and her hot breath sent a warm chill through him when she spoke softly, “Speaking of proposals, there’s a rumor going around that you’re going to propose to me tonight.”

The warm chill turned to a cold one.
“Oh really?”


It’s just something I heard.” Candy smiled and focused her attention on her food. But her hand remained in Danny’s lap.

Danny shifted the ring box
in his pocket, away from Candy’s hand and his burgeoning erection. What was he going to do? Propose to a robot? If she were a robot, did that make her less real? After all, he was a professional roboticist and he’d taken Candy for a human being. Why should his feelings change?

But still. . . .

Something was different. He had to know. He couldn’t make a decision until he knew for certain.

Maggie appeared at their table and took the empty seat beside Candy.

“How is everything?” Maggie asked.

“Wonderful!”
“Excellent!” and “Exquisite!” were the replies.

Maggie smiled and sipped from the glass of white wine in her hand.

“Pardon me.” All eyes turned toward Howard, for it was he who had spoken.

“Yes, Howard?”
Floyd replied. Floyd had extricated himself from Susannah, though their hands and fingers remained entwined. Danny could not recall having seen Floyd be so amorous with a woman. In fact, Floyd hadn’t had more than a few dates with any one partner during the entire year for which he’d lived in Danny’s house. Clearly his connection with Susannah was something greater.


I have a question for Mistress Maggie,” said Howard, “if she does not mind.”


Not at all, Howard,” said Maggie. “What would you like to know?”

The evening sun cast Howard in a golden light, and his pewter face gleamed.
“I heard one of your guests state that you had prepared this food yourself, despite the large quantity. And that any sane person would have sought the assistance of a catering company. Is that correct? Did you prepare the food yourself?”


Yes, Howard, I did. I’ve been cooking for the past three days.”


May I ask why? Are you not sane?”

Maggie laughed.

“Extraordinary,” Canary marveled.


I suppose that after raising five kids my sanity is debatable, Howard,” said Maggie, “though I wouldn’t say it’s related to my choosing to do the cooking myself.”

“And why not?”
asked Howard.


Because I love to cook,” said Maggie.


Even in such large quantities and for so many people?” Howard asked. With one upturned hand he made an elegant gesture, referencing all fifteen tables and the bevy of guests enjoying their meal. Isaac and Nik were restocking the buffet while Gali, Copper, and Turing served the guests returning for a second helping; despite the rigorous pace, the kids seemed to be enjoying their hosting duties. 


Sure,” said Maggie. She smiled as she watched her children work.


Would the use of a catering service not be easier?”

“Of course it would.”

“Then why not–”

“You tell me Howard,”
said Maggie.

Danny sa
w the tiniest flicker in Howard’s bright red eyes. He was struggling to formulate a response.


May I give you a hint, Howard?” All eyes turned to Candy. “I hate to see a robot in distress. Particularly a robot to whom I owe my life.” Candy gazed across the table at Howard. “It’s a matter of pride, Howard. Tim and Maggie could’ve called any of a dozen excellent caterers. But Maggie wanted to do the cooking herself. And the kids were looking forward to running the buffet.”

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