Eye Candy (35 page)

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Authors: Ryan Schneider

BOOK: Eye Candy
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But still. . . .

When Tikva asked Candy if she
’d ever been in love, Candy said that no, she had not.

Danny knew perfectly well and was fully able to rationalize the fact that he and Candy had known each other a mere six days; less than a week. Nevertheless, he felt . . . deflated.

It may have been for this reason that he lied.

Candy stood, crossed to Danny, and sat sideways in his lap.
“I’m exhausted.” Candy eased her arms around Danny’s neck and leaned her head against his. “Listen, I need to get something off my chest. When Tikva asked me if I’d ever been in love, I lied.” Candy lifted her head and looked squarely at Danny. “I’m in love with you. I have been since the moment I saw you at the pizza place the night of our first date. Then, during dinner, I became more and more sure of it. That’s why I made that joke to Howard about flying to Vegas to get married. I couldn’t believe I actually said that less than twenty-four hours after we’d met. I don’t want to pressure you or scare you away. That’s why I told Tikva that I’ve never been in love. I didn’t want to scare you. And I think I’m a bit scared myself.”


Scared of what?”


Scared that this isn’t real. That it’s all going to come to a sudden end. That you’ll get tired of me or decide I’m not what you’re looking for. You can have any woman you want. And I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

Danny
’s heart pounded in his chest. He plunged ahead, before he could over-think what was happening.


I have something to get off my chest, too. I am madly in love with you. I have been since you walked into that restaurant. When you joked with Howard about us going to Vegas, I would’ve gone. I’d have married you that day. I’m sorry the shuttle crash kind of put a damper on our second date. Which reminds me, there’s something else I need to confess. I lied about the explosives on the shuttle. I spoke with Howard a couple days ago. He said the mechanic found traces of tri-nitro-tolu-ethylene-something. Explosives. But then a forensics guy from the LAPD went to the garage and checked the shuttle and didn’t find any.”


So the guy at the garage said there were explosives, but now the cops say there aren’t?”


Yes.”


Weird.” Candy thought for a moment and muttered, “There’s something rotten in Denmark.”

Danny could scarcely believe his ears.
“That’s exactly what I said!”


When?”


To Howard, when he told me. I said ‘There’s something rotten in Denmark.’ ”


Really?”


Really. Scary, huh?”

Candy smiled. “A little.”

“I’m sorry I lied,” said Danny. “I should’ve been honest. I won’t lie to you ever again. I promise.”


And I promise I’ll always be honest with you, even if I am terrified.”


Deal. But it sounds as if you have nothing to be afraid of. If I’m madly in love with you, and you’re madly in love with me, then all that’s left is for us to live happily ever after.”


So should we go to Vegas and make it official?”


Do you want to?”

Candy considered it.
“I think I’d rather wait a little while and do it right, with an intimate ceremony and me in a nice dress and you in a tuxedo, and our friends and family there with us. We can feed each other wedding cake. My mom would kill me if she didn’t get to see us feeding each other wedding cake. She thinks that’s the most precious moment of the wedding. Next to the kiss, of course.”


Would you smash the cake in my face?”


No, never. Would you smash the cake in my face?”


No. I’d feed it to you gently, and then later when we were on our honeymoon, I’d eat it off your naked body.”

Candy pressed her mouth hard to Danny
’s lips, and they melted into the chair, lost in the kiss.

Chapter 25

 

When You Know, You Know

 

 

The next few days passed quickly.

Danny finally returned home so that he might shower and change his clothes and catch up on some business he’d been neglecting since having met Candy.

Floyd and Howard sat quietly in the living room while Danny regaled them with tales of the adventures
he’d shared with Candy: Barney; the midnight flight over the ocean; Café Six-Thirty-Six; the pleasurebots; Robot City and the subsequent trip to the hospital (Floyd and Howard agreed the surgeon had done an excellent job suturing Danny’s knife wound); the antics of Helen and Sparky; Club C/Fe and their trip to orbit; and finally the unprecedented request of Mosheh and Tikva.

Then, Danny announced that he was planning on asking Candy to marry him.

Floyd and Howard looked at one another.

“Why not?” Floyd said at last. “Congratulations, buddy.”

“What. . .?” Danny asked. “What was that look? You guys don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“No, no,” said Floyd. “Not at all. It’s a great idea. Clearly you two are totally in love and want to be together. You’ve only known each other two weeks, but so what? I’ve never seen you this happy. Howard’s never seen you this happy. Right, Howard?”

“Quite right, sir.” Howard turned to Danny. “If Miss Candy is the one you want, let no one stand in your way. I wish you many centuries of joy and happiness.”

Howard came forward and extended his hand. Danny accepted it. Howard shook Danny’s hand with several awkward but enthusiastic up-and-down thrusts.

“This calls for a toast!” said Floyd. He went to the refrigerator and withdrew a bottle of champagne, twisted off the gold wrapper, unwound the wire cage, gave the bottle a succinct shake, and popped the cork.

Howard removed three glasses from a cupboard and Floyd poured.

Danny, Floyd, and Howard raised their glasses.

“To Danny and Candy,” said Floyd, “may your love be lusty, may your lust be lovely, and may your lives be long, fruitful, and joyous. To Danny and Candy. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Danny and Howard repeated.

They clinked their glasses together and Danny and Floyd drank.

Howard set his glass of champagne on the counter. Myriad tiny bubbles rose to the surface.

“You okay, buddy?” Floyd asked.

“Never before have I so longed for the ability to consume food and beverage,” said Howard. “I have read about the origins of champagne, as well as the process of its creation and many descriptions of its taste, its aroma, the manner in which it bubbles in the mouth and nose. Yet I can never truly experience it for myself.”

“Don’t worry, buddy,” said Floyd, “we’ll get you upgraded with a digestive system, and an olfactory system, too, so you can eat and drink.”

“Once the technology has been proven, I should like that very much,” said Howard.

“So, Danny,”
Floyd asked, “how do you intend to propose to Candy?”

Danny did not yet know.

 

~

 

Over
the next several days, Danny visited four separate jewelers around town, until he found himself once more in Robot City, inside the jewelry store holding what he knew to be the perfect ring for Candy. He returned home and showed it to Floyd and Howard that night as they once more sat in the living room. Floyd noted the precise nature of the stone’s cut; Howard commented on its amazing clarity.

 

~

 

Monday afternoon, Candy and Danny met for lunch at a Mexican restaurant not far from Candy’s office. Though they spent as much time kissing as they did enjoying the fajitas and deep-fried ice cream.

Danny’s phone rang, and he saw that it was Rory, probably calling to see if he was coming to Positronic to watch Monday-night football. Danny silenced the phone and returned his attention to Candy and their lunch.

And then Wednesday arrived and Danny set off toward Candy’s, en route to Tim’s beach house for the annual Fourth of July celebration.

Danny carried Candy
’s overnight bag down the stairs to his car, admiring Candy’s legs as she descended the stairs. She wore a short white skirt and a white blouse, and white sandals that complemented her pretty feet.

Danny drove west toward the ocean, alternately admiring Candy
’s long legs and feeling for the ring box in his pocket, confirming it was still there.

 

~

 

Danny and Candy drove up the winding driveway to Tim and Maggie’s stately beachfront home. The morning haze had burned off and the weather forecast called for clear skies and a high of 83 degrees, and 85 for the rest of the week. It would be a fine Independence Day.

Danny considered for the hundredth time how, when, and where he was going to propose to Candy. He was certain she would say yes, but he w
anted the moment to be perfect.

Should
he do it while they were alone?

Perhaps
while they were in bed? Naked?

Or should he do it in front of everyone, perhaps during dinner, when he could get down on one knee and propose in the traditional manner
, with their friends looking on?

Danny parked beside an impressive
black and chrome motorcycle. Tim emerged from the front door of the house with two enormous tigers following at his heels.

Candy saw them and opened her arms. Both cats went to her, stood on their back legs, and draped their forelegs over Candy’s shoulders.

Candy squealed with laughter as the cats rubbed their heads against her.

“Who do we have here?” she called out.

“These are my babies,” said Tim. “But don’t tell my kids I said that. The white one is Hertz, the black one is Volta. Top of the line. Hand made in Italy.”

“Hand made?” Danny asked.

“They’re robo-pets,” said Tim. “See their eyes?” Both cats had vibrant purple eyes. “The eyes are blue but the digitronics are red. When you mix red and blue you get purple. I saw them in Milan a few years ago and had to have them.”

“They’re beautiful,” said Danny.

“And sweet,” said Candy.

“And they don’t eat,” said Tim, “so I don’t have to spend thousands of dollars per month on food. And since they don’t eat, I don’t have to clean up after them. They don’t shed, they won’t claw the furniture, they don’t get fleas, and they won’t ever die. Oh and they won’t bite your face off. They’re better than real cats.”

Danny patted his leg. “Volta, come.” The big black cat dropped gently from Candy’s shoulders and came and sat in front of Danny. “Shake.” Volta lifted one massive paw and Danny shook it. “How fast can they run?”

“I took them out to the Hollywood Race Track about a year ago and ran them against the Giant Greyhounds and they were almost as fast. The greyhounds can do a hundred miles per hour on average. So, they’re plenty fast. When we get out to the sand later I’ll show you how they love to play tackle football. Here, let me help you with your
bags.”

“So, Tim,” said Candy from underneath Hertz’s furry white neck, “been
breaking into anymore homes lately?”


No, just yours,” said Tim. “But that was Rory’s idea, remember?”

Candy rubbed Hertz on his neck, and the giant robotic cat began to purr. “
Oh, well I guess it’s okay then.”

Tim pointed to the road. “Speak of the devil
.”

A green Lamborghini
electric roadster rolled silently down the driveway and parked behind Danny’s car. The long doors scissored open and Rory climbed out of the driver’s seat while Harley exited the passenger side. Harley did her best to keep her knees together and her short black skirt from riding up as she slid out of the low, exotic car.

Hertz and Volta both loped over to Harley.

“Hi, guys!” Harley exclaimed. She knelt and both cats nudged against her, knocking Harley onto her back and playfully smothering her. Harley laughed out loud.


This’ll be an interesting holiday,” muttered Tim.

Danny exchanged a glance with Candy.

Rory helped Harley extricate herself from the pile of purring feline robots and they joined Candy, Danny, and Tim. Rory introduced Harley and Candy.

Candy and Harley shook hands.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” said Candy.


Likewise,” said Harley.

The distant crashing of the surf filled the silence as everyone stood staring at one another.
Volta grunted.


Is that the new bike?” Rory asked.


That’s it,” said Tim.


Whose bike?” Danny asked.

Tim patted the seat. “Mine
.”

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