Exquisite Betrayal (34 page)

“
Um… not Iris. Fallon. But here.” I
push the box into his hands. I can’t bring myself to look at his
face. My vision blurs with unshed tears and I need to get out of
here because alarms are going off in my head like crazy. If he
thinks I’m Iris that means she’s on the way, and I don’t want to be
close to this place when she arrives. I turn to leave and start
down his stairs when I remember I’m still holding the damn car key.
I can’t go back and give it to him so I bend down and set it on his
porch. Damn it all! As I stand, out of the corner of my
eye,

I see a tall blond approaching.
I can do this
, I tell myself. I move
to walk down the steps, but my eyes are so damn clouded with tears,
I miss a step and trip. That’s my undoing. I twist my ankle as I
hit the pavement, scraping my palms.

“
Hi darling. I’ve missed you so,” I
hear Iris purr. And then, “Fallon, is it?” I hear her say. I can’t
speak so I nod as I begin to pick myself up. I keep my head down to
conceal my humiliation.

Then I feel his hand on my arm.

“
Are you okay?”

I nod and then do my best to walk away. I’m
miles and miles from okay, so much so that the question is
ludicrous. I can barely walk, but I refuse to stop for anything. I
keep going because I simply can’t bear any more pain.

“
Fallon, wait.”

I keep walking, if you can call it that. It
only takes him a minute, two at the most, to catch me. I mean, I’m
wearing heels and sporting a sprained ankle that’s inflating like
it’s hooked up to an air compressor. He could catch me if he were
ninety and using a walker.

He grabs my arm and I wrench it free.
Something suddenly snaps in me and I burn with anger. How could
he?

“
Don’t you dare touch me! Of all the
women in this city, you had to pick that slut?”

“
Whoa, slow it down there.”

“
No, you slow it down.” Suddenly, my
hurt is pushed in the back seat and a ferocious anger is now at the
wheel. Anger at that fuckface Ruth for ruining my life, anger at
Ryland Thomas because he wouldn’t even give me the chance to
explain what happened, anger at my mother for making me live like a
pauper for all those years, and anger at Critics Abound for taking
advantage of a hard-working and honest employee.

“
Yeah, you heard me. You fucking slow
it down, Ryland Thomas. Exquisite betrayal, my motherfucking ass.
Let’s talk betrayal. You don’t give me the courtesy of three lousy
minutes of your precious time to explain what happened? After
everything we’ve been through? All the things you said to me? How
much I meant to you? Well, you can go to hell.

“
In my world, when someone means that
much to someone else, we give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Did you honestly think I could betray you? Did you really think I
was so mean-fucking-spirited that I would do something as low as
that? Huh? Answer me, you spineless pussy!” My anger has me so
riled that I’m yelling at him and spit is flying out of my
mouth.

He’s just standing there, staring at me like
I’m an alien. “You’re so goddamn stupid. And the worst part of it
all is that barely a month goes by and you invite that fucking
cheater-slut-whore into your home. You disgust me.” I turn away
with a throbbing head now to go along with my throbbing ankle and
my throbbing heart.

I make it to the end of his street where I
break down and cry. There’s a bench there so I plop down and drop
my head into my hands while I wonder if I’ll ever stop this
ridiculous sobbing because I’m getting damned sick and tired of
it.

After an unknown amount of time, my sobs
turn to those dorky sounding hiccups and it dawns on me that I need
to get out of this place. Out of San Francisco. Everything I love
about this place centers on him.

“
Feel better?’

“
Aaiiiyee!” His voice scares the shit
out of me because, with all my sobbing, I hadn’t heard him sit next
to me. I fly to my feet and end up flat on my ass, nursing my ankle
again.

“
Bloody hell, Fallon!”

“
It’s your stupid fault. You shouldn’t
sneak up on people like that.” I’m bordering on
hysteria.

“
I didn’t sneak up on you. I’ve been
sitting here for over half an hour.”

“
Shut up.” My voice is so scathing, it
surprises even me.

“
That looks rough.”

His hand reaches out to touch it and I tell
him, “If you lay so much as one finger on me, I’ll twist your
freakin’ balls off, I swear to God.”

“
Jesus, Fallon. You don’t have to be
so bloody mean.”

“
Neither did you, you asswipe
bastard.”

“
I’m not a bastard,” he grits
out.

“
Oh no? Well, I didn’t betray you,
either. So there.”

He blows out his breath. “So?”

“
So what?”

“
You gonna sit there all day or you
gonna talk?”

“
You’ve got to be kidding
me.”

“
Hell no, I’m not kidding
you.”

I make my move to stand and he puts a hand
on my shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere until you talk.”

“
Get your motherfucking hand off me.”
My teeth are clenched and I realize I’ve sworn more in the past few
minutes than I think I have in the past five years
combined.

He doesn’t move it. It just sits on my
shoulder, letting me know he means business.

“
Read the fucking letter in the box.
Everything you need to know is in there.” My voice is low and
resigned. A second later, he lifts me in his arms and carries me
back to his place.

“
If you take me in there and that
cheater-slut-whore’s in your house, someone’s gonna
die.”

“
She’s not here, Fallon. I told her to
leave when I followed you.”

“
Well, wasn’t that magnanimous of
you?”

“
You don’t have to be so
sarcastic.”

He walks up the steps and we go inside. The
place is empty. Or at least, I think it is.

“
Take me to your bedroom.”

“
What?”

“
Do as I say.”

He follows orders, and once I’m convinced
that the cheater-slut-whore isn’t lying naked somewhere, I allow
him to take me back to his living room and set me down on the sofa.
He fills a bag with ice and elevates my ankle, icing it. Then he
sits down and opens the box.

“
You mean you didn’t even look in
it?”

“
Fallon, if you recall, I didn’t
exactly have time.”

I grunt and nod.

He rubs his face and tears his hands through
his hair as he goes through everything, one-by-one, casting glances
at me along the way. Finally, he picks up the letter. He looks at
me first, tears it open and starts reading out loud.

Dear Ryland Thomas,

I’m writing this as a last resort. I don’t
know or understand why you wouldn’t speak to me, take my calls or
texts. With the love we both have (had) for each other, I would’ve
thought I was worth at least a few minutes of your time. I know it
all looked bad, but I swear to you on the love I have for my dad,
that I didn’t do it. I would never have done anything so deceitful.
That secret would’ve gone to my grave with me and I never, ever
told a soul.

I guess I wasn’t careful, though, and my
boss’s boss became greedy enough to hire a private investigator
that planted a recording device on me. And the rest, as they say,
is history. I resigned immediately when I found out and I’m suing
Critics Abound and Ruth. Everything I win will go to you and Tilly.
In fact, you can have everything of mine, including my inheritance
from my dad. It has no meaning for me without you in my life
anyway.

I’m returning all your precious gifts. They
are rightfully yours so they should be returned to you. I’m also
paying you back for bailing me out of debt. Thank you for being so
kind to me when I needed it the most.

Strangely enough, my dad left a sizable
trust for me, which my mom never told me about. So don’t worry
about my financial state. I’ll be fine (not that you’d worry about
me anymore, but I thought you should know). I know you’re suing me,
and honestly, I hope you win. In fact, just name the price of your
damages, and I’ll save you your attorney’s fee and simply write you
a check.

The last thing in here is the real article I
wrote on you… the one I thought was being published. I thought
maybe you could find it in your heart to at least to read it. I
know it’s too late for us now, but I want you to know that I’ll
always love you with everything I have until there is no longer
breath in this body of mine.

Yours,

Fallon

I’ve stopped watching him and my head is
leaning back on the couch. It’s so silent in the room that all I
want to do is scream. Don’t ask me why, however that’s how I feel.
I am so tired, too. Tired of feeling so sad, tired of missing
Ryland Thomas, tired of everything.

“
Shit, Fallon,” he says as he sits
next to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t take your calls.”

“
I’m sorry, too,” I cry. “Why didn’t
you, Ryland Thomas? Did you think I could really do something like
this?”

“
I don’t know what I thought. I wasn’t
thinking, I guess. I went into damage control and then Tilly came
and convinced me I needed to get out of here because the media were
all over the place. So we went to Vietnam for two weeks and then we
came home and immediately turned around and flew to
Vegas.”

“
So that’s why I couldn’t find you.”
My voice is hoarse and my throat is raw from crying.

“
Yeah, I was out of the country.
Fallon?”

“
What?”

“
Can I just hold you,
please?”

“
Oh, God, I don’t know. I…” I don’t
get my words out before his arms are around me and I’m being held
tightly against him, I don’t know what to do.

“
Oh, God, Fallon. I’ve missed you so
much.”

“
Stop it! I can’t do this with you.” I
push him away from me.

He leans back, his face a mask of pain.

“
You won’t destroy me anymore. I won’t
let you and I can’t snap my fingers and make all the hurt go away.
You know, when I came here, I prayed on the way over that you would
just give me five minutes. Then when you thought I was Iris,
something inside of me snapped. For all the love you professed to
have for me, when it came down to it, you abandoned me. I must’ve
called you hundreds of times. I texted you and emailed you. I even
drove out to your Lake Tahoe house, but I couldn’t even get measly
phone time…” I have to stop and collect myself for a
minute.

I rub the wetness from my eyes and go on in
a much quieter voice now. “I couldn’t even get you to answer a
stupid text, and the more I think about it, the more it hurts me.
The same goes for Tilly. I would never, in a million years, have
walked away from you so easily. I don’t care how angry I was, or
how incriminating the evidence may have appeared, I would’ve given
you time to speak your peace.”

I sit up and remove the ice from my
ankle.

“
Where are you going?”

“
Home. And then I’m moving away from
this town. I can’t live here anymore. There are too many memories.”
I swipe my tears off my cheeks and rub my eyes again.

“
Let me drive you at
least.”

I look at him for a minute. I want to say
yes, though I don’t. I know it will make it worse than it already
is. “No, I think I’ve got this.”

“
Take the car. It’s yours. You paid
for it.”

“
I don’t want it. I don’t want
anything from you anymore.”

“
How are you gonna get home with your
sprained ankle?”

I laugh a crazy sounding laugh. It kind of
scares even me. “Ryland, I’ve been to the depths of hell and back.
Or at least, I’m trying to get back anyway. I think I can make it a
few damn blocks from here.” With my shoes in my hand, I hobble past
him, out of his house and his life.

I watch her leave and it’s the most helpless
feeling in the world. Helpless because I love her so much, and
helpless because I know she’s right. Why the bloody hell didn’t I
let her speak, let her tell me her side? Why?

I pick up the first thing I can get my hands
on, a large, hand-blown glass vase, and I sling it across the room,
watching it shatter against the wall. It reminds of what I did to
Fallon’s heart, her life and her world.

What the fuck was I thinking inviting Iris
over here? It wasn’t what Fallon thought, but still. It looked bad
and that makes me just as sick. I would never have anything to do
with Iris in that way ever again, but I ran into her and had
something I needed to give to her. Once again, a foolish
mistake.

I have a lot of apologizing to do so I need
to get my ass in gear. I am through with feeling sorry for myself.
The only thing that ever accomplished was getting me deeper into
the pile of shit I was in now.

I pick up my phone and call my attorney.
“Joe, this is Ryland Thomas Sinclair. I want to drop the suit
against Fallon McKinley. I want to sue Critics Abound instead.”

“
That sounds like a better plan,” Joe
says. “I know Miss McKinley’s attorney and I’ve worked with him
before. I think we can make a strong case together. By the way, I
didn’t want to tell you this before, but she called me to represent
her. I had to turn her down, of course.”