Exposure (4 page)

T
he next morning
, it was time to face reality again. Asher was getting dressed for work, and I was lying in his bed, feeling absolutely terrified. I was going to have to go outside again, of course, because I had to get home. And I had no idea how I was going to do it. It was bad enough walking to the Chinese restaurant and back, and that was only tolerable because I had a large, beautiful man, who professed a Black Belt in Karate, protecting me.

But I was going to have to somehow, someway, manage to get back to my place in SoHo all by myself. I really didn’t have the money for cab fare, either, which would mean that I was going to have to take public transportation.

It all seemed so impossible to me. Just thinking about the crowds of people, the noise, the smells and the sights that would greet me on the bus made my heart race. I started to feel a constriction in my chest as I contemplated it.

I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it.

While I was more than happy to have spent a glorious night with this magnetic, graceful and gorgeous man, I also started to resent him for bringing me here. Even if he did intend to have me taken to a hospital. The fact was that I
wasn’t
taken to a hospital. I was brought to his place, which was across town from my place, and I felt like I was absolutely stranded there.

He was finally dressed in his high-dollar suit, tie and dress shirt. His shoes were also high-dollar and buffed to a glass-like sheen. He picked up his briefcase and smiled at me and held out his hand.

I stood up, taking his hand. My own hand was trembling wildly.

He stroked my hair and kissed me on my forehead. Such an intimate gesture sent new tingles down my spine. His fucking me last night sent me to the moon and back. His stroking my hair and kissing my forehead sent pangs to my heart. Two completely different sensations, both of them really foreign to me. But, all at once, they seemed to be life-giving.

“Come on with me, CJ,” he said. “I have an early meeting, but they’re just going to have to wait. I’m the boss, after all.”

I wasn’t quite understanding. “Why are you going to be late?” I asked him.

“Because I have to make sure that you get home safe and sound,” he said. “So, we’re going to your place, with my driver. And then I’m going to walk you into your apartment.”

Relief started to flood through me. He wasn’t going to just let me walk out the door and find my way home after all. He was more of a gentleman than that. And I wasn’t going to have to face the bus and subway.

So, we took the elevator down to his lobby, and we got into his waiting limo. This wasn’t that bad, as the limo was parked right in front of the building, so I didn’t have to contend with being in the outdoors for too long. It was still difficult, but I talked to myself the entire way, and, before I knew it, I was in the warm limo with Asher.

“Oscar,” he said to the driver. “We need to go to SoHo before taking me to work.” He looked at me, and I gave him my address. Oscar nodded his head and drove off the curb and into traffic.

Since I was in an enclosed space, I was able to relax on the way home. Even so, Asher held my hand the entire way. He also put his arm around me and stroked my hair softly. “You’re doing great, CJ,” he said. “We’ll be to your home soon.”

His intimate gestures were once again causing me confusion. Last night was awesome, of course, by far the best sex that I have ever had. Mind-blowing, in fact. The grace that Asher used in moving he displayed in bed, and he knew exactly what spots to hit to make me spin wildly into orgasms.

But that probably would be it, I would imagine. I didn’t think for one second that I would ever see him again after he dropped me off at my apartment. He certainly wasn’t the type of guy that I had ever pictured myself with, that was for sure. In my limited romantic experience, I pretty much chose losers. Or they chose me. Most of them had no ambition, so I ended up paying for dinners and such. Not that I had the money for that, either. And almost all of them cheated on me. I had gotten good at tracking that down, too.

So, Asher, with his CEO position and evident opulent wealth, would never go for a girl like me in the long-term. I just had to look at the previous evening and night as being one fun night of non-stop mind-blowing fucking and leave it at that.

While I loved that he was holding my hand and whispering comforting words in my ear, I really wanted him to stop. I was in severe danger in becoming attached to this guy, and that was one thing that I didn’t need. What I did need was to focus on myself. Getting better. Becoming stronger. Leaving my trauma behind me. I certainly couldn’t afford to get derailed in my hopeful recovery by a fly-by-night man.

Finally, we were at my apartment. I held out my hand. “Thank you so much, Asher, for everything.”

He shook his head. “No way. I’m walking you to your apartment.”

“You can’t,” I said. “We’re double-parked.” At that, a car honked at the limo and somebody yelled out the window for us to “move it.”

Asher shrugged. “I’ll pay the ticket if there is one. But I need to make sure that you get into your apartment safely. Now move it.”

I got out of the limo, and Asher was immediately on the sidewalk next to me. My heart was constricting, as usual, but I had to admit that having Asher right there next to me helped out a ton. A shit-ton.

I put one foot in front of the other, and soon I was in my lobby safely. I let out a huge sigh of relief, knowing that I had made it home without having a break-down. I also mentally patted myself on the back.
See, CJ? You’re stronger than you think after all.

I turned to Asher. “Okay, I’m in the building. I think that I’m going to be okay.”

He shook his head. “I’m walking you to your apartment whether you like it or not. And I’m double-parked, so the longer we dawdle here in the lobby, the more heated it’s going to be out there.”

I made a face. “Okay, well, it’s a fourth-story walk-up.” Not that I thought that Asher would have any issue with that. He was in amazing shape, as he had demonstrated the night before. He had stamina beyond my wildest dreams.

The two of us climbed the stairs, and Asher made a show of pretending to be worn out. “Oh, God, another flight? When is it ever going to end? When?” he said with a smile. “Seriously, I don’t envy the people who moved you into this place. I bet they had a hernia bringing in your furniture.”

“I was thinking the same thing when I moved here. That the moving men were going to have one helluva time moving me in. But they were pros and used to it.” I was amused by Asher right at that moment.

Finally, we got to my front door. “Well, again, thank you,” I said. “I’d invite you in, but…”

He smiled. “I understand. It was fun, CJ. I was really glad to meet you.”

“Me too,” I said. “Well….”

“Bye,” he said, kissing me again on my forehead. “Take care.”

“You too.”

And then he was gone.

I
got
through my front door, and Scarlett was waiting for me, ready to pounce. “CJ, oh my God,” she said. “I was just about to file a missing person’s report. In fact, I tried to, but they wouldn’t take it. They said that you had to be missing for 72 hours. You had me really worried.”

I smiled. “I’m okay, really. Thanks for caring, though.”

She cocked her head. She was tall, slender and had an enormous natural rack that men drooled over. When they weren’t drooling over her silky blonde hair and enormous green eyes. She was such the stereotypical hot girl and, in a town where supermodels abounded, she could have given any one of the women in New York City a run for her money.

If I weren’t so sexually satisfied by the enigma that was Asher, I probably would have tried to set Scarlett up with him. She’s just the type of woman who would look right with a wealthy hotty.

But, just the thought of her in Asher’s bed made me want to puke. I was feeling surprisingly territorial over him, even though I was almost 100% sure I would never see him or hear from him again.

“Sit down, young lady,” she said. “You need to tell me everything. Where have you been for the past twenty-four hours?”

I patted her hand. I knew that she was protective of me, and had been since the tragedy. I loved her for that. And I was really sad that I had worried her so much. I knew that she was worried because, ever since I had been self-confined to our apartment, I wouldn’t just disappear like that. Yet I did, and I could see how scared she was for me.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said. “What happened to me in the past twenty-four hours was about as unlikely as aliens abducting me. But I’ll tell you anyhow.”

So, I did, leaving nothing out.

She listened, her mouth open the entire time. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You had earth-shattering sex with Asher Sloane? Riiiigggghhhtt.” She shook her head. “You better come up with something better than that, sister, or at least a bit more believable than that.”

“I told you the whole thing was improbable, to say the very least. At any rate, you don’t have to believe me, but you asked, so I told you.”

“Wait,” she said. “You’re serious. Oh my God.” She shook her head. “That is one fine-looking rich dude, let me tell you this. One fine-looking dude. What I wouldn’t have given to traded places with you last night.”

“You know him?”

“Oh, come on, CJ, doesn’t everyone in this town? Everyone but you, apparently. He’s like a billionaire. No, not like a billionaire, he
is
a billionaire. Owns some serious real estate in Lower Manhattan, and his company is worth a shit-ton of money. He’s been on the cutting-edge of biotechnology for years, and he’s cornered the market in the countries where he sells his products.”

“How do you know all of this?”

She shrugged. “I try to keep up on the all the hot rich guys in this town, because you know I’d like to snag one. And he has stood out, head and shoulders, above all the rest. Not only because he’s rich, but also because he’s young, hot and I totally believe in what he does. So, yeah, I’ve had quite a few fantasies featuring him myself.”

I chuckled. “Well, rest easy, because I’m quite sure that he’s still on the market. I mean, he can fuck like nobody’s business, but I’d be extremely surprised if I ever see him again.”

She shook her head. “Yeah, but, even so, he’s off-limits to me now. Thanks a lot,” she said with a smile. “Sloppy seconds have never been my style. Oh, well. Looks like I’m going to have to start dreaming about the second guy on my list.”

“Who’s the second guy on your list?”

“Patton Meara. Oil tycoon. Not nearly as much of a hotty as Asher, though, but a girl can’t get too picky, can she?” Then she smiled. “Nah, I better stick with your average investment banker that you meet in the club. More in my league.”

“Girl, nobody’s out of your league,” I said. “Most guys say that
you’re
out of
their
league.”

“Well, Asher’s out of most women’s league. I mean, for a long-term relationship. Unless you’re like some kind of supermodel or something like that. Especially since you told me that he has a huge cock and he knows how to use it. Let’s just say that any girl who snags him is going to have a fine, fine, fine catch.”

I smiled and knew that she was right.

“At any rate,” she said. “I’m proud of you for finally stepping foot outside our apartment. It’s been months since you’ve done that, and that takes a lot of guts, girl. So, kudos to you.”

“Well, thanks,” I said. “I mean, I’m still absolutely petrified about going outside our apartment, but I do feel pretty accomplished by finally venturing out of this place. Not that I can do it again any time soon.”

Scarlett bit her lip and shook her head. “I really do wish that you would get counseling.”

“Ah, but here’s the rub. How am I supposed to go outside to see said counselor? That seems like the ultimate Catch-22. I can’t go outside because of my condition, but, because I can’t go outside, I can’t see anybody who might be able to help me. Besides, there’s still the problem of lack of insurance.”

“Yes, but CJ, you haven’t worked in so long and you now have very little money in the bank. You know that you can qualify for Medicaid.”

“That would be as humiliating for me as getting disability insurance from the government,” I said. “It’s going to take a lot to swallow my pride enough to beg for a handout. I’m just going to have to keep trying to go outside, a little bit every day, and hope that I can get back to work soon.”

She looked at me sympathetically. “Yeah, but CJ, that seems a long ways off, doesn’t it? I looked into social security disability for you. You can apply online and do a phone interview for it. Once you get that, you can qualify for Medicaid for sure.”

“Scarlett, I know what you’re getting at. You’re worried that I can’t make rent soon. And you’re not far wrong. I think that I have about another month’s worth of savings, and then I’m tapped out. All I can say is that I have one month to get my butt in gear and get back to work. Because social security disability and Medicaid are not how I envision getting health care and money.”

“But CJ, you know that it takes awhile to process claims. What happens if you run out of money, and then you apply for SSD and you have to wait a few months to get the money from them? Then what?”

I sighed. “Maybe you should look for a new roommate. Not that I don’t love you, but the reality is, I doubt that I can afford to live here with you much longer. I’m trying, though. I’m trying very hard to get over my mental issues so that I can become productive again. But let’s face it – even with SSD, I won’t be able to afford to live here. The government doesn’t give you much. And who’s to say that I would even qualify? I would have to have a doctor examine me and tell the government that I’m cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Again, I don’t know how I’m going to see said doctor. I’m pretty much screwed, no matter how you look at it.”

Scarlett just shook her head and said nothing. “I don’t want to lose you, CJ. I really don’t. Maybe we can just take on a third girl to stay here until you get your bearings?”

“I can’t have you carrying me,” I said. “As much as I love you, I can’t be a burden to you. I have to either try to overcome my trauma or die trying. For lack of a better phrase, it’s go time.”

“Well, then,” she said. “Let’s do it. Let’s go outside.”

I hung my head. “I’d love to, but I think that I need to recover from all my outside time yesterday and this morning. It really took a lot out of me when I walked those two blocks to the restaurant from Asher’s place. I think that I might be ready tomorrow, though.”

“Take your time,” Scarlett said. “We’re going to overcome this together. You’ll be as good as new soon, just you wait.”

I felt sad when she said that. “I might someday be able to go outside again and work. But I’ll never be as good as new. As long as Nathaniel isn’t here with me, I’ll never be as good as new.”

Scarlett just nodded her head.

She knew what I was saying was true.