Ex-mas (11 page)

"Atta girl" Beau angled her around a couple far too busy crawling al over each other to move aside, and snagged them two Cokes before finding wal space to lean against.

"Not exactly party material," Lila teased him, waving her can of Coke at him. A girl next to her swayed on four-inch heels. The couple in the corner continued to grope each other.

"Wel , as much as I want to do a keg stand with al the frat boys," Beau replied with an exaggerated sigh, "I do have to drive later, so--"

"Bummer." She laughed and cracked open her can. Already she could feel the tension leaving her body. "I know how much you love keg stands"

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"It's a seriously underappreciated art form," Beau deadpanned.

Lila took a long pul of her lukewarm soda and watched in amazement as a red-faced boy staggered down the hal and tripped over his own feet. He

plowed, face-first, into what was once a coffee table, crumpling it beneath his weight as he fel .

"So this is what you wanted to do to your parents' house?" Beau leaned back against the wal and smiled slightly, like the chaos pounding around them was a movie he was watching. Lila studied him for a second. He looked out of place in the crowd of prepsters, but it wasn't just his clothes. Beau stood differently than the other guys. More sure on his feet, somehow. And Lila had a feeling it wasn't just because he was sober.

"Please," Lila said breezily. "I wasn't throwing a
frat
party!"

"Ah, yes. Because high school parties are way more refined," Beau said. Teasing her, she realized as he grinned down at her. Not provoking. Just teasing.

"My parties, by definition, are the classiest high school parties in Southern California," she told him grandly. "Or would be, if I could throw one without Cooper ruining everything"

"You know,
classy
and
high school party
are not terms you often find in the same sentence."

"You are such a snob," she told him.

He let out a bark of laughter. "How can you even say that with a straight face?" he asked, grinning at her. "Seriously"

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Lila tried to frown, but her lips curved up in a grin instead. She'd forgotten how wel they did the light, fun banter thing.

The room had gotten even more crowded, and now Beau was standing just inches from Lila. His whole body was angled toward her, his arm brushing

against her shoulder.

Just then, the make-out couple final y broke apart for some air, and the girl began dancing. "I love this song!" she shrieked, moving her hips to the driving beat.

The girl's make-out partner locked his arms around her waist from behind. Lila saw the spray of freckles on his neck, first--the ones that almost exactly replicated the Big Dipper. Then she saw the sloppy, sexy smile he directed at the girl who shimmied in front of him. Final y, she saw the way he cocked his head so that his blond hair flopped a little bit to the side, like a little boy's.

Lila's stomach dropped through her feet and smacked into the floor. Her mouth fel open. Time stopped.

It was Erik.

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Chapter 12

***

STANFORD UNIVERSITY

PALO ALTO, CA

DECEMBER 23

2:31 A.M.

***

Lila staggered out of the heavy dormitory doors. She sucked in a breath, then another, but stil felt like she couldn't breathe. Like there was a giant hand wrapped around her ribs, crushing her. She looked around wildly, unable to get her bearings. She could hardly believe what she'd seen, even though she'd seen it with her own eyes. Eyes that she would gladly rip out of her head, if it meant she could erase that vision. Her brain kept playing the scene over and over again--the way Erik had kissed the girl, how his hands had traveled down her body...

"Stop it!" she hissed at herself. Her stomach roiled, and her breath came fast and shal ow. Heat prickled behind her eyes, and she knew that she was seconds away from bursting into tears, crumpling to the ground, and sinking into a gooey mess of despair

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"Lila!"

Beau dashed out of the dorm, the door slamming loudly behind him. It was only then that Lila realized she was moving. Running, actual y, putting space between her and that damn party and the sickening realization that Erik wasn't the guy she'd thought he was. That she didn't know him at al --because the Erik
she
knew never would have had his tongue down some random girl's throat at a party he was supposed to be too busy to go to in the first place. Lila felt a sob catch in her throat, and fought it back down. She would
not
cry. Would not break. Would not let her guard down in front of Beau.

But she did stop walking. Leaning against a scratchy palm trunk, she steadied her breathing. The dorm behind them was stil pounding out the music. A

group of col ege kids walked by, undoubtedly tipsy, al of them laughing as the guy in the middle told a story that required huge hand gestures.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lila snapped at Beau when he jogged to her side. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, like it would help her keep everything inside.

"Fine," he told her.

But she could feel his reaction, the judgment vibrating off him like an electric charge, and she hated him for it. She hated Erik for doing this to her, and she hated herself for being so stupid, so gul ible, so
trusting.

"I'm serious!" she cried. A wave of humiliation crashed over

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her. Her cheeks burned, but her body felt cold and shaky. "Like it isn't bad enough that my boyfriend is cheating on me?" she demanded, as if Beau had said something instead of just quietly judging her. "It has to be in front of you, of al people?" Her voice cracked when she said
you.
Terrific.

"What did you expect?" Beau asked, in a tone completely devoid of anything resembling sympathy. "Erik is a douche."

Lila's mouth fel open. "Excuse me?"

A normal person would comfort a girl who had just witnessed her boyfriend cheating on her, no matter how complicated his relationship with the girl and the boyfriend in question. A gentle
don't cry
pat on the back. A hug, even. But Beau was not normal. He was a sadist. Why offer comfort when he could criticize instead?

"Come
on,
Lila: Beau said, sounding almost impatient. "I'm not saying anything you don't already know. Are you real y that surprised?"

He pursed his lips, like he was physical y restraining himself from saying
I told you so.
Instantly, she was transported back to that awful conversation outside the cafeteria. She could see his superior sneer, that disappointed yet mocking gleam in his eyes. Could feel her stomach cramp at his contempt.

"Real y?" she demanded. They were standing in the middle of the crosswalk, with dark green lawns al around them. She used to dream about walking across these fields with Erik.

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"Really,
Beau? We catch my boyfriend of three years sucking face with some col ege slut at a frat party and the only thing you can manage to say is that he's a
douche?"

"What else is there to say?" he asked, pushing his dark hair away from his blue eyes. "It's the unavoidable truth about Erik Hol ander."

Lila was so furious her ears were ringing. "What kind of human being are you? Who
says
something like that?"

"You're yel ing at
me?"
Beau replied, amazed. "Reality check, Lila. I'm not the guy you're mad at."

The ringing in her ears got even louder, and she opened her mouth to tear into Beau

But then she realized the ringing was not, in fact, in her head. It was in her pocket. Someone was cal ing Beau's phone. Lila wasn't sure if she was

happy to be interrupted, but she tore the phone out of her pocket anyway and blinked at the damn thing until it made sense.

Lila,
read the display.

"Cooper!" Lila cried into the phone. "Where are you?" She was annoyed when Beau moved closer, pushing his head near hers so he could hear too.

She wanted to hit him, not cuddle over a phone with him.

"You guys looked so mad!" Cooper crowed. "We figured when the train got delayed that you guys might catch up to us, but we never thought we'd get to
see
you. How awesome was that?"

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"Yeah, awesome Lila said sarcastical y. A university cop made his way down the path, eying Lila and Beau suspiciously before moving on. "It's the middle of the night and you're roaming around San Jose by yourself--you, who have nightmares after watching total y not scary movies. Real y awesome,

Coop."

"We're not in San Jose," Cooper told her, giggling. The unmistakable sound of Tyler's laughter could be heard in the background, egging him on. Beau leaned in even closer. Lila fought the urge to elbow him. Hard. "I told you, we thought you might catch up with us. So when we saw you get on the train, we jumped off. And then the last train of the night came through like ten minutes later! Ha!"

"Ha-ha," Lila said, miserably. "Please tel me you're on the last train of the night heading back to L.A."

"Nope." Cooper laughed again. "Oh, and Mom cal ed." Lila froze.

"What did she say?" Lila asked, trying to sound calm. She felt Beau shift beside her.

"I told her you were in the shower," Cooper said blithely. "She said they were having fun with Aunt Lucy, and Phoenix is real y hot, and she'd see us Sunday night."

Sunday night.
The words echoed in Lila's head like a death sentence. "Great," Lila said, pressing her free hand against her forehead and the sudden headache that bloomed there. "And

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what do you think she's going to do when she gets home and discovers you're on your way to the North Pole, Cooper?"

"Oh, she loves Santa too," Cooper said happily, reminding Lila that no matter how annoying he was, he was stil only eight years old. And clearly living in a fantasy world. A fantasy world Lila could shatter with the simple truth about Santa Claus. But something held her back from saying it. Perhaps it was the vision of being grounded for the next seventeen years.

"To
me,
Cooper!" she cried, frustrated. "What do you think she's going to do to
me?"

But Cooper only giggled some more.

"Sleep tight!" Tyler cal ed in the background, and then the line went dead.

For a moment Lila stood, the phone stil to her ear, as if mid-conversation with a reality check. Her party had blown up in her face. Her mission to

recover Cooper had failed. Her relationship with Erik was nothing but a lie. And every tick of her watch brought her closer to doom.

Which left her with what, exactly?

"Um, Lila." Beau snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm great," she said, glaring at Beau for al kinds of reasons, starting with the fact that he was right there. "Fan-fricking-tastic."

Beau sighed, and the sound ignited something in Lila.

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"Tel you what," she threw at him, so mad her teeth snapped together. "You stay right here and keep
sighing
like that. It's so helpful. I'm going to take a cab to San Jose and get your stupid piece-of-crap Escort. Then I'm going to keep driving after the Santa stalkers."

"Fine," Beau said, his blue eyes narrow. "I can--"

"Alone!" Lila yel ed at him. "I'm going
alone!
How about you just go back home and sit in your basement and be as judgy and nasty and angry at the whole world as you want!"

Beau was staring at her like her head had just exploded. She knew she was too loud, and bordering on hysterical.

"Whoa," he said, with infuriating calmness, holding his hands up in surrender.

The gesture made her want to curl into a bal , watch real y depressing movies like
Titanic,
and cry for the next three weeks.

Which she couldn't do even if she wanted to, because she had less than twenty-four hours to find Cooper and drag his behind back to L.A. Less than

twenty-four hours, if she was realistic. Her parents would likely come home before midnight on Christmas Eve.

"Give me your keys," she snapped at Beau.

"You can't be serious."

She let out a loud groan of frustration. "Beau!"

He reached into his pocket, and pul ed out his keys. His eyes

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searched her face, like there was something he was looking for. Like there was something obvious she was missing.

Lila snatched the keys from his hand. Then she turned away and started marching across the campus. Her heels drummed into the ground as she

walked, faster and faster, like she could somehow make things better by putting distance between herself and the latest, worst problem.

But she couldn't deny the emptiness she felt when she looked behind her and saw that Beau wasn't there, like she half-expected him to be. He wasn't

fol owing her. He didn't care about her.

He was letting her go.

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Chapter 13

***

STANFORD UNIVERSITY

PALO ALTO

DECEMBER 23

2:45 A.M.

***

Of course, there were no cabs. Lila didn't know what she'd been thinking. Why would taxis cruise a col ege campus? It was hard enough to get a taxi in

Los Angeles. As she trudged across the campus, Stanford seemed less ideal with each step. Big stone buildings leaned together like whispering friends, mocking her loneliness. Dark, empty lawns mirrored what her life had become. And the clock tower overhead signaled that with every passing second,

Cooper was getting farther away--and with him any hope she had of rescuing what remained of her life.

Tick tock,
it hissed.
Tomorrow night is getting closer and closer to
tonight
every minute....

Like she needed the reminder.

Just then, a cab pul ed into view and stopped at the curb just a few yards ahead of Lila.

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"Thank you!" Lila murmured, sending a little prayer of thanks up to whatever benevolent spirit was final y looking out for her.
More of this, please!
She ran toward the cab while two obviously drunk sorority girls tried to climb out of the car, shrieking with laughter.