Ex-Factor (Diamond Girls) (18 page)

“After my mom forgot me and my dad, I kinda lost it. Didn’t care anymore. I started drinking and partying all the time. I just checked out, you know?”

Bodie nodded once, but remained silent.

“I was drunk out of my mind the night my father was killed. I’d turned my phone off so he couldn’t track my GPS. I had no idea what had happened to him until it was too late.”

Nausea roiled in my gut, and my heart ached as though someone were squeezing it as hard as they could. “My dad, he was a motor officer. He’d been issuing a ticket on a routine traffic stop when…”
Oh, God. Am I really saying this out loud?
My chest ached and I felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to hurl. “He was hit by a drunk driver. His body…” I shook my head and winced. “The driver was so out of it, he didn’t know my dad was trapped beneath the car.”

A loud sob blew past my lips. “He dragged my dad a good fifty feet down the small two-lane road before he finally stopped.”

My God. His injuries.
They’d been bad. Really bad. Like, the funeral home had insisted on a closed casket.

I felt the tears welling in my eyes, the familiar chill that crawled up my spine whenever I thought about that night worming its way through my gut.

I shook my head, clamped down on my weakness, and finished strong. Bodie had shared his heart with me, and I could do the same and get through it without collapsing into a blubbering idiot.

“He didn’t die right away. He hung on, clung to life for several hours in the hospital, and because I had my phone off, because I was so out of it, I didn’t know. I—”

He didn’t let me finish, didn’t let me get to the worst part of the story. “Shhh,” he said, pulling me into his arms and holding me like he’d never let go.

He placed his hands on either side of my face and pushed me back just enough to meet my eyes. “Thank you.” His face twisted for a brief second, and he closed his eyes, the painful memories, the harsh reality he lived with doing its damnedest to break him, yet failing.

When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with compassion, understanding, and a strange sense of peace. He pressed his lips to my forehead before resting the top of his head against mine. “I never thought I’d meet another person who understands what it is I feel. The shame. The regret. Thank you for sharing your story with me, Nev. I don’t feel like I’m so alone anymore.”

The small piece of my heart that had survived the trauma of losing my parents swelled like a balloon that had been filled too full, then burst into a million pieces. I’d never experienced such strong feelings for someone, and I’d never felt less deserving of having those feelings returned. Bodie was strong, and amazing, and open—everything I was not.

I buried my face in his neck, closed my eyes, and tried my hardest to burn the memory of that moment into my brain. The way his pulse drummed beneath my ear. The way his hand felt stroking the smooth length of my hair. His scent. The sense of safety I felt in his arms.

I’d shared a big chunk of my dark side with him, showed him he wasn’t alone in his mistakes. But he’d cut me off before I could finish. Stopped me before I had a chance to reveal my darkest secret, my biggest regret. Every part of me wished I were as strong and brave as Bodie. Every part of me feared what his reaction would be if and when he found out I was exactly the same as him in every way.

Chapter Twelve

Status update:
Worried ...

Surprisingly enough, I’d had zero problems getting myself up, ready, and out the door for school on Monday morning. Head still swimming with memories of my weekend spent with Bodie, I’d been up early, taking extra time to primp and fluff, and had dragged poor Livvie to school fifteen minutes early with the hope of seeing him before the first bell rang. To her credit, she didn’t complain, and for that I’d be forever grateful.

My thoughts traveled back to my Saturday afternoon with Bodie on the hill. We never did finish that assignment. Not that I gave a rat’s patootie. My goal had been to get to know him better, a goal I felt I’d accomplished and then some. Of course, there was always more to discover about one another. I’d yet to learn the basic details that usually come up in conversation when you first meet someone, like what his favorite band was, or what types of food he liked best. But, to be honest, those things, when held in comparison to the heavy connection we’d formed after sharing our pasts, seemed trivial.

We’d shared the demons that haunted us nightly, with the unspoken promise to withhold judgment. Opening up, admitting shame and regret to another person was a big deal. I couldn’t speak for Bodie, but I knew for me, my time spent with him up on the hill had been a turning point. My only wish was that he would have let me finish telling him my story. He didn’t know the whole truth. His vision of me was warped, skewed, and I didn’t want to think about what his reaction would be when he found out my dirty little secret. Make that my dirty enormous secret. I felt like our friendship, relationship, or whatever it was between us, was running on borrowed time. My feelings for him grew deeper each time we were together, and I knew it would be that much harder for me when he found out the truth and eventually walked away.

I glanced at the clock on my phone as I lingered in front of the boys’ locker room, and bit my lip. Class started in five minutes and Bodie had yet to emerge. I knew he worked out with the football team before school several times a week, and I’d been hoping to catch him before school started. I felt a bit stalkerish but tried to convince myself that friends did things like wait for each other before and after class. Was that all we really were? Friends? He hadn’t kissed me again since that night at the dance, and he’d had ample opportunity. We’d been up on that hill, alone, for hours. Insecurity wrapped its freaking fingers around me and gave a good squeeze.
No.
The connection, the buzz I felt whenever I was around him, was so strong. He had to sense it, had to feel it.

Uncertainty hammered me from all sides, and I looked up to the ceiling and let out a deep sigh. I hated my insecurity. Hated that I couldn’t trust my instincts where boys were concerned. I wanted so badly to be right about Bodie, but I was afraid. I’d snuggled close to love’s flame once before with Nate, and had come away with a serious burn. I had no desire to get scorched again.

Apparently, the degree of pathetic in which I operated knew no bounds. Despite my worry, I continued to hug the wall, unwilling to miss out on the slim chance I might be able to see Bodie before class started. Pitiful, yes, but I was too far gone to care. For too long I’d floated in a sea of sorrow and regret. Bodie was my life raft, a ray of goodness and hope I’d cling to any chance I got.

With a groan, I shoved my phone into my pocket and high-tailed it to Foods, afraid of what Keltar might put me through if I was tardy again. I glanced over my shoulder before entering the room, worried when I didn’t see Bodie anywhere. If he didn’t hurry up, he’d be late, and Keltar would ride his butt in front of the entire class.

My worry was short-lived. Bodie breezed into Keltar’s class just as the bell rang, earning a blistering, hate-filled stare from our surly instructor.

My skin came alive the moment he entered the room, and it was all I could do to stop grinning. As he began the short walk down the narrow aisle toward our table, our eyes met and stayed on one another until he took his seat beside Erin’s empty chair next to me.

I frowned, wondering where she was. I hadn’t heard from her since I’d seen her at the gym early Saturday morning, and hoped she was okay. With our first competition this upcoming weekend, it was not a good time to be sick.

I narrowed my eyes as I quietly slid my cell from my pocket, disregarding the notification that I’d already received two text messages from Eli that morning. The guy didn’t know when to quit and move on. He’d blown up my phone with texts all weekend, insisting we needed to talk, and that I should call him. I huffed as I scrolled down to Erin’s text stream. Hell no, I wasn’t going to call Eli. His stubborn persistence told me I’d been right about him and his motivations regarding Erin all along. I hoped to God he hadn’t done something stupid, like hurt her feelings. I had absolutely no problem going gangsta on his ass.

My fingers flew across the screen, and I hit “send,” doing my best to avoid Keltar’s roving stare.

Me: Where r u?

I set my phone to vibrate and slid it back into my pocket, hoping she’d respond soon. I was worried about her.

Looking particularly yummy in a pair of dark jeans and a white tee, Bodie glanced at Erin’s empty seat, then to me. With an impish grin, he slid into the empty chair, making my heart flutter and my palms sweat. His scent whirled around me, filling my nose and drowning my senses. “Morning,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at me playfully.

My skin tingled, and the tiny embers that had been glowing inside me all morning at the mere thought of him exploded into a rush of heat and flame. Bodie’s effect on me was staggering, and it was all I could do to keep myself from melting into a puddle of goo right there in my seat.

Eli scowled at us from across the table, jaw tight, lips pressed into a thin, straight line. He exhaled a slow breath and turned to face the front of the classroom at the same moment, Tommy, who’d been late to class, took his seat.

Eli narrowed his brows at Tommy and whispered a low, “Where the hell have you been, man? We were supposed to hit the weight room together this morning.”

Tommy’s normally bright blue eyes blazed a dark gray, almost black, and the muscles in his neck and jaw twitched with what looked like controlled anger. He slapped his binder onto the table and glared at Eli before focusing on Keltar, who was flitting back and forth in front of the classroom with a large bowl and whisk. Looked like we’d be baking some type of cake today.
Yippee.

“Dude.” Eli elbowed Tommy with a scowl and stared his unhappy friend down. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I asked you a—”

Tommy exploded out of his seat with a growl. He grabbed Eli by the front of his shirt, lifted him out of his chair, and slammed his back against the top of the table, eyes wild, muscles straining.

Meg, who’d been sitting quietly next to Tommy, screamed and lunged out of her chair, eyes wide with panic.

She wasn’t the only one who yelled. A loud yelp escaped my lips before I could stop it, and my chair slid away from the ensuing fight as if by magic. Panicked, I glanced at Bodie to see he’d been the one to pull me away from the table. He slid in front of me, jaw locked, eyes narrowed in concentration, muscles coiled and ready to react should the fight move in our direction. The word “lethal” came to mind, and I’d never felt safer. Tommy and Eli were big boys, super fit. But —Bodie was in a class of his own. Massive in size, his muscles had muscles, and he looked like he could bludgeon them with his pinky.

Unable to look away, I leaned sideways in my chair and watched as Tommy held Eli in a stranglehold atop the table. “If you want to keep your face the way it is, Pretty Boy, I suggest you stay the fuck away from me. I’m done with you, you cock sucking prick. Done!”

What the hell?
Tommy and Eli were best friends. I’d seen them hanging together at the game and the dance on Friday. What could have possibly happened over the past two days to create such animosity between them?

“Mr. Doleman!” Keltar’s voice echoed over the discord, and within seconds he was on top of Tommy, pulling him off a now fired up and equally foul-mouthed Eli. “I will not tolerate violence of any kind in my classroom, or in this school, for that matter.” He beamed both boys with a look of disgust. “You will both remove yourselves from my classroom this instant, and march yourselves straight to the principal’s office!”

Tommy rolled his shoulders with a groan, and ran a shaky hand over his shaved head. He slid his binder off the table and stared at Eli with an expression that clearly said, “If you come near me, I’ll rip your face off.” He narrowed his brows and pointed at Eli with a growl before turning to leave.

Eli exploded off the table, face red, expression furious. “This is bullshit, Mr. K. He came at me! I didn’t do anything.”

Keltar cut him off with a curt wave of his hand and stepped forward, right arm pointing toward the door. “I don’t want to hear excuses. I don’t care who started it. You will leave my classroom, and you will do so now!”

Sputtering a string of curse words beneath his breath, Eli snatched his backpack off the floor and trudged out of the room to the sound of Keltar booming, “In your seats, class. Pay attention!”

I slid my seat back to the table and stared over at Bodie, mouth open and confused. “Um, what the hell just happened?”

Bodie just shook his head and shrugged. “Hell if I know. I don’t have anything to do with Eli. He’s a punk-ass loser. But Tommy’s all right.” He brushed my hair out of my face and gave one of the longer strands a tug. “Gossip travels fast around here. I’m guessing we’ll find out what’s going on by lunch.”

I pressed my lips together and faced the front of the room, doing my best to ignore the nagging sense of worry festering in my chest. Erin wasn’t in school. Eli and Tommy were fighting. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

***

“Douchewad!” Claire slammed her locker shut and scowled. “He broke up with her. Eli broke up with her. Man whoring jerk.”  She crossed her arms over her chest and fumed as we made our way to our usual table in the student union. “He stood Erin up for their date on Saturday night, then went out with Callie instead.”

Tayla drew in a long, shocked breath the same moment I gasped.

I placed my hand on the table and leaned forward. “What? Please, tell me you’re lying.”

Claire shook her head, grim-faced. “I wish I was. I’ve heard it from three separate sources in the past hour alone. Eli was spotted at Wasabi Joe’s, sucking face and downing sushi with a very happy Callie.”