Evil (28 page)

Kellan’s fury whipped back at him. “She’s mine!”

“You cannot have her, demon. You are an abomination of nature. You deserve to rot in hell where you were born.”

“Shut up!” Kellan’s mouth never moved, but he roared back. My eyes clung to his. He wanted to murder my father. If he could’ve, he would’ve right then and there.

I shuddered. The pull between the two was exhausting me.

“Shay.” Kellan was talking to me again.

“What?”

I hadn’t moved any closer to him. I was held suspended between the two men.

“You need to help me.”

“Kellan, I’m tired.” And I was. My head was falling down. Something was going on in me. I didn’t know why I was exhausted, but my hand started to slip from his. “Kellan. I can’t hold on any longer.”

I felt his refusal. He wasn’t letting me go, and my dad wasn’t withdrawing either. My eyes started to drift closed. It was too hard... Everything was going black…

“Shay!” Kellan’s yell whipped against my face, snapping me back awake. My head straightened and my eyes were wide open. “You have to fight.”

“I can’t. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Your messenger side wants to go with your father. The rest of you wants to come with me. You’re fighting yourself.”

He had helped me before. He could do it again. “Kellan, your demon needs to come inside me. Do whatever you did before.”

“I can’t. I’m using everything I have to hold your father off.”

“Get Gus and Vespar. Everyone needs to help.”

“Damien and Aumae are helping. Gus is too exhausted.”

“I don’t give a shit.” I scowled. “She has to help.”

Somehow, I focused on Kellan, but then moved behind him. I didn’t know where I was getting the strength, but I reached over him. I sensed where everyone stood. The other angels were standing across the road. A barrier kept them out of reach. I didn’t question that. We needed to use that. Gus and Vespar were behind Aumae and Damien, who stood right next to Kellan. Both had their hands in the air, chanting, and fusing their power with his. They watched this, but couldn’t stop me. The angels behind the barrier became frenzied. They began crashing into the barrier, trying to break it down.

“Shay,” Gus looked around her. “What are you doing?”

“Use your powers. We need you.”

“What do you want us to do?”

Vespar kept his mouth shut. I was trying to get into his head, but he blocked me out. I couldn’t force my way in. I was using too much of my power as it was.

“Shay.” Gus began trembling. “What do you want us to do?”

“Touch Kellan. Connect your mind. He’ll guide you from there.”

I placed both of them on their feet, behind Kellan. He knew what was happening, but couldn’t lessen his concentration from holding off my father.

“Gus.” She was just standing there, looking around. “Do it now.”

“Vespar,” she murmured, nudging him with her arm.

He refused to look at her. He was refusing to help.

“Come on.”

He turned his back on her.

“They saved us. We have to help.”

“She’s the enemy.”

“She’s the reason we’re alive.”

“Kellan’s the reason we’re alive.”

“So help me instead!” Kellan thundered, his voice crashing down on both of our siblings. They covered their ears. Kellan’s fury had reached another level.

I grew determined. The bastards were going to help, whether they wanted to or not. I closed my eyes and began searching inside. My power was throughout me. It wasn’t pooled in any one place, but most of it wasn’t being used. Kellan was right. Some of it didn’t want to move. It wouldn’t. It wanted to go back with my father. I bit down on my lip, and I thrust into my own power. It would help me, just like my siblings. I was choosing, and I was choosing Kellan.

“Move!”

Slowly, so agonizingly slow, it began churning. It began circling around, almost sluggishly, but the more it circled, the more it began to pick up speed. It was a steady pace, like the beginning of a hurricane. It was moving faster, just a bit, and it kept going...faster, faster, more and more. It was starting to whip around, now like a full force hurricane and I was keeping it restrained inside me.

“Shay.” I heard Kellan’s concern. “What are you doing?”

“Helping.” I couldn’t say more. I was using what strength I had to keep it under control. It was beginning to be too much.

I opened my eyes. The twister was rising in me, but I needed to see if Gus was helping. She was. Her hand was on Kellan’s shoulder and her eyes were closed. Her head hung down. I felt her power slip past me, merging with Aumae’s and Damien’s, too. Vespar still wasn’t helping, but he was watching. His forehead wrinkled in fear.

Fine. Forget him.

I was almost ready.

“Shay,” Kellan said. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Shut up.” My hands lifted out to my side. I was getting ready. “Just be prepared. This is going to be fast.”

“What are you do—?”

A burst of light exploded from me. It was like a nuclear bomb. It hit against my father like a speeding bullet, slamming him back and cutting him off from us. The rest of my power shot out, disintegrating the barrier, and it blasted against the other messengers. It flung them miles away from us. I felt each of them crash into the ground and all of them except one fell unconscious.

I formed pockets of protection, covering Kellan, Aumae, Damien, Gus, and even Vespar. Everyone else was obliterated.

My power reached out further, traveling farther than even I wanted it, and suddenly, it flung back into me. It was like another bomb that went off, but in me. Pain sliced me as my power smashed back into me. I gasped. A rush of blood filled my mouth and my head fell back like it was yanked from behind. I heard a cracking sound and then—nothing.

The world went to black.

I woke up feeling warm and safe, with an arm over my waist. It was nighttime, and Kellan was sleeping with me, his eyes closed and face turned toward me while he held me. I melted. He looked beautiful. There was no sign of the demon in him, and he looked angelic. His strong jawline, his perfect lips, his eyelashes that any girl would yearn for, and his cheekbones—I couldn’t help myself. My hand rose, and I rested my fingers over them, trailing down to touch the rest of his face. If he woke, he’d be startled, but I didn’t care. I almost wanted that.

I wanted to stop thinking and worrying about what was going to happen. I just wanted to be, and Kellan was in my bed with me. I wanted to just be with him.

As my fingers moved to his lips, it was caught.

His hand moved like lightning. He caught my wrist, but his hold didn’t hurt. It was a gentle, but firm grip and then his eyelids opened.

“You caught me.”

His eyes darkened, and he said softly, sending shivers down my spine, “So I did.” They were the good kind of shivers, the kind that made me want to forget all reason and logic and roll underneath him. Even thinking of that, my legs parted, and I licked my lips. My body began to grow warm.

Kellan noticed the changes, and his hand that was resting over my leg curved into my side. He applied pressure, bringing me forward, turning so we were lying face to face. Both of us were on our sides, and we were close, too close, and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to stop it. His hand ran down my side, sweeping over my leg, and he applied the tiniest bit of pressure. My leg followed willingly, sliding in between his. My hips shifted, moving closer to him. Our waists were almost touching, and his hand, the one still on my hand, didn’t move. It was burning its hold on me, permanently scarring me.

He waited, his eyes darting from mine to my lips, lingering there.

A small groan slipped out. Hearing it, I felt more heat rush to my face and knew I was blushing.

“Are you okay with this?”

“With you sleeping with me?”
God yes.

“No.” He shook his head, his voice a caress in itself. “This.” His hand skimmed over my thigh, rising up to my arm and where the bed sheet was covering me.

I wore pajamas. Someone had changed my clothes, but I felt naked. I felt like it was just us, both naked, and the bed sheet, that flimsy little material was the only barrier between us. My breathing grew more rapid, and my heart sped up. I was sure Kellan knew the effect he was having on me. He knew everything about me.

“You’re right,” he murmured. His hand left the bed sheet and curved around my face, cupping the side of me. His thumb rested on my cheek, a tender touch. “I know a lot, but not everything. I wish I did. Things would be...easier.”

“What don’t you know?”

“What you hold closest to you.” He pressed his hand to where my heart was. “I don’t know what you have in there.”

I grinned. “A heart?”

“You know what I mean.”

He was asking how I felt about him. I nodded, biting down on my lip.

“Kellan,” I murmured, but I didn’t know what I was going to say. So, instead, I only asked, “What happened?”

“You mean before?”

I nodded again.

“You protected us.”

“No,” I said. “You protected us.”

“I protected you, Shay.” His hand lifted to the corner of my mouth, touching my lips in a soft graze. “You protected everyone.”

“Kellan, don’t act like that. Like you don’t care.”

“I care about you.”

“That’s not true. You care about Vespar and Giuseppa.” I hated to say it, but… “You cared about Leah.”

“Maybe.”

He was lying, but I realized he wasn’t lying to me. He was lying to himself. “You love so hard and hate so cold.”

“Shay.” He sighed, rolling to his back. The bed sheet slipped down past his waist. He was wearing gym shorts, but I could see his chest, all the dips and valleys of his muscles as he lay there, breathing in and out. “I’m a demon. I’m more than half-demon, and that means I can only love one person.” He watched me from his pillow. “You. Only you.”

“Then why’d you save Vespar and Giuseppa?”

“Because they knew too much about you. I didn’t want your father to get his hands on them.”

“That was the only reason?”

I remembered him in that house, fighting Dylan, yelling at me to save Vespar. He cared. I knew he did. I lay back, too, mirroring him, and I rotated my head on my pillow to look at him. “You’re not a normal demon, Kellan, and I know a part of you cares.”

“You’re lying to yourself.”

He believed that. There was no uncertainty inside him. I felt it, as real as if I was feeling my own emotions. I could feel him. That should’ve alarmed me, or alarmed my messenger, but it didn’t. Somehow, it felt right to feel all of him. I started to ask, my mouth opened, and he answered before a word slipped out. “Yes. I feel you how you feel me.”

“So, you know that I know you’re lying?”

“I’m not lying.”

“To yourself, you are.”

“I’m not doing that. You’re searching for goodness in me.” His eyes were bleak, but a flash of anger sparked in there, just a flicker in the background. “The only good thing in me, is you. If you die, there’s no redemption for me. I’ll become a full demon.”

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“I told you I’m not like normal demons. I’m not. The only spark of humanity in me is from you, because I love you. If you die, so do I. The only difference is that you’ll become a full messenger, and I’ll become a full demon. You go up. I go down.”

“Like heaven and hell?”

“Maybe,” he said softly, eyeing my mouth. “I’ll probably stay on Earth, working for my father. You’ll probably... I don’t know what will happen to you, but you’ll be my enemy. That’s all I know.”

“So if the human side of me dies, then…”

“...then everything is over. That’s the end of us.” His hand found mine. My heart skipped a beat at his words. I watched as he lifted our hands in the air, lacing our fingers together. We were together. We were holding on to one another, but I felt the heaviness from what he said. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t lying to himself even. I could feel the truth emanating from him and my throat swelled up. A deep sadness pressed down on me, pushing me further into the bed.