Everything is Everything Book 2 (24 page)

Charisma turned to look at her friend. “But you don’t give anyone a chance. I’ve seen so many men try to talk to you, Vanessa. And no matter who they are you act as if they aren’t good enough.”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, it’s not that. All I know is Scotty. We were friends for a long time before we began a relationship. I just don’t know how to deal when someone comes at me in a different way.” She wouldn’t admit that aggression scared her. If a man came on too strong—as they often times did, then thoughts of Donald entered her mind and she would remember how quickly a man could overpower her.

“You can’t wait fifteen years or more for him to get out of prison. You can’t do that to yourself.”

Vanessa rubbed her hand across her face tiredly. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. All I know is that it doesn’t feel right when it has to do with other men. Maybe that’s what makes Scotty and me soul mates. Because no matter how much time we’re apart I can’t forget him.”

Charisma shook her head sadly but didn’t argue with her over her feelings.

The next day the doorbell rang and Vanessa knew that it couldn’t be good news. People didn’t just invite themselves over, not to the home of two performers who were rarely home.

Charisma had already left for her latest job. She had a part in a musical which included a speaking role. She hoped they would get picked up to travel across the country. For her, the idea of living out of hotel rooms for a few months was exciting.

Vanessa had to admit that it sounded exciting to her as well. But she could hardly do that with a baby who needed frequent doctor care.

Vanessa hurried to the intercom while Crash crawled after her in case she tried to leave the house without him. It was sad that she always had to leave and that he knew to expect it.

“Mamamamamama,” he called from behind her.

“Hold on, Mommy’s not going anywhere.” She pressed the button on the intercom. “Who is it?”

“Vanessa? It’s Dino.”

She was surprised to hear his voice outside her building.

“Dino? Uh … how did you get my address?”

Crash began to wail loudly to be picked up. She bent down and scooped him up, propping him up on her hip. Instead of quieting he reached for the floor crying out cheese cheese cheese.

Dino was talking and she hefted her son up on her hip while he kicked to get to something on the floor. She looked down and instead of seeing a piece of cheese she saw one of his toy cars. She reached down to get it and handed it to Crash who gurgled happily.

She pressed the intercom button again. “Hold on a sec Dino. Tell me again how you got my address.” Jackson had more than a lot of nerves handing out her address and talking about her personal business. She was becoming pissed again.

“Jackson … well he keeps a file on all of his employees. I saw yours. I’m sorry for snooping but …” he sighed and chuckled. “Well I was interested.”

Vanessa felt a jolt of shock. “You were … interested? In what?”

“Before I answer that, I’m going to ask you about that ring on your finger. You got a man, Eve?”

She inhaled a long breath. “Nope. It’s just a prop.”

Vanessa looked down at the piece of jewelry on her finger. She’d never removed it and there was a part of her that knew it wasn’t just a prop. It had real meaning for her. Unfortunately, the giver had released her long ago.

“Then to answer your question, it’s you I’m interested in. You; Eve or Vanessa, or whatever it is you like being called.”

Vanessa touched her lips feeling an odd but intriguing shiver run up her body. Dino liked her … She hurried to the front window and looked down at the tall handsome man standing there telling her that he was interested …

Vanessa hurried back to the intercom while Crash made zooming noises with the car, driving it up her arm and shoulder and across the side of her face.

“Uh … okay. But why are you here? The telephone would have been easier-”

“I wanted to try to talk you out of quitting … and to ask you if you’ll have lunch with me.” She heard him hesitate. “Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you.”

Vanessa felt a grin spread across her face. Dino was asking her for a date? Oh my God …

“Well?” He asked.

“No to the first. Maybe to the last.”

He chuckled. “Do you think I can come up? I might be able to change your mind.”

“Not about the first, but maybe about the last,” she replied while her lips tugged into a playful grin.

He laughed again and she pressed the buzzer to unlock the door. “Come on up. But since you didn’t call first I won’t apologize for the condition of the apartment or how terrible I look.”

“Duly noted.”

While he came up the stairs Vanessa dashed around the living room picking up Crash’s toys and straightening up the mail and magazines. By the time she heard the knock on her door Vanessa had her ponytail smoothed down and was wondering why she felt so giddy. She hadn’t even thought about whether or not she felt attracted to Dino before yesterday. But after her discussion with Charisma she was beginning to wonder just what she was waiting for.

Maybe it was time to give another man a chance—and time to give herself another chance to love.

Vanessa opened the door. Dino looked good in jeans and a Bob Marley t-shirt. His dark dreds complimented his lean face along with a slight Billy Goat beard covering his chin. His smile was bright and it caused butterflies to flutter in the pit of her stomach. No she was not beginning to crush on this man!

“Come on in,” she said shyly.

He entered the apartment slowly, looking at Crash with a perplexed expression.

Not many people had ever seen an AFO with a bar connecting them. It looked like a medieval torture device and Vanessa had agonized over it in the beginning. She wanted to take it off but knew it would be counterproductive and might even cause all the hard work of the last year to revert right back to where it had begun.

“Vanessa? What …?”

“My son was born with club feet and he has to wear these special sandals to twist his feet into the proper position.”

Dino didn’t seem to be listening to her. He was frowning while staring at Crash.

“Is that a
white
baby?”

Her mouth fell open. She looked at Crash who was studying the stranger while shyly leaning his head against her shoulder, his toy still clutched in his chubby fingers. His blond curls fell into his face but big blue eyes stared back. He had never grown brown—not even his ears or scrotum. He looked white, but he was multiracial just as she was.

“This is
my son
.” She stated firmly, her smile disappearing.

Dino stared at the baby while shaking his head. He looked at Vanessa and his expression had changed as if a shield had come down over him.

“Vanessa, I had no idea …” Even his voice had grown firm.

Vanessa stared at Dino as she switched Crash to her other hip.

“No idea about what, exactly?”

“I didn’t know you rolled with the white boys like that,” he said while staring at her son.

“Uh …” she could not have been more surprised at his words.

He held up his hands innocently and took a retreating step back.

“Look, where I come from you don’t mix with the whites and I don’t roll like that. You even got a baby with one of
them
.”

His voice was filled with distaste.

“I can’t … can’t believe what I’m hearing.” She looked at Dino, still in shock at the magnitude of his racism.

He shook his head in disappointment at her and she could see disgust mixed in with the look.

“After being enslaved by white men, being treated as their cattle, after generations of being raped by them and beaten by them, how could you ever willingly lay down with one?”

Her voice was tight with anger when she responded. “By that token, why would I ever trust a black man again after one drugged and tried to rape me?! I don’t happen to have a personal history of being enslaved but I have been  assaulted. And where I come from you judge a man, not by the history of his race but by his own actions. My child’s father has always treated me with respect!”

“And yet he’s not here taking care of his business. He knocked you up and left you with a baby that will never truly fit in the white or the black world.”

She shook her head. “I’m multiracial too—or did you not notice that?! Just get out Dino! Get out of my house!”

Dino opened the door and left. Vanessa slammed the door after him and then opened it and called down the stairwell after him.

“And for your information the father of my baby is in jail for beating to death the man who tried to rape me! And that’s why he’s not with me now! So don’t judge me
or him
!”

She slammed the door again. Crash was whimpering and tears had filled his eyes. She hugged him, knowing that her angry outburst had confused him.

“It’s okay. Mommy’s okay.” She kissed his sweet face and then silently counted to ten. Dino was too ignorant to allow him to affect her. She sat down on the floor and put Crash down. He immediately climbed back into her arms and she sat there rocking him quietly.

She wiped away her tears of hurt and disappointment. And for the next few minutes she alternated between anger and sadness, wondering if all black men would look at her as a disappointment to the black race.

She got Miss Barbara to babysit Crash and then she called a taxi to take her to the club.

All the performers were in rehearsals but Jackson’s assistant Nikki saw her enter the club and hurried over to her. Vanessa was happy for the diversion. She was afraid that she would snap if she saw either Kiki or Jackson.

“I’m so sorry about what happened to you, Eve. That was trifling and I let Jackson know about it.”

Vanessa gave her a crooked smile. “Thank you, Nikki.”

“Are you coming back to work?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No. I just came to get my things and to pick up my final check.”

Nikki sighed in disappointment. “I understand. I don’t know if I could ever trust Kiki again either,” she whispered in a conspiratory manner. “A lot of people are pissed with her. They held a meeting about it and several performers wanted to know if Kiki had the power to steal their performances.”

Vanessa tried not to be interested but she couldn’t help herself. “And what did Kiki and Jackson have to say?”

“Well they wouldn’t promise that it wouldn’t happen again and tried to talk all around the issue. Finally Kiki just flat out said that it was her club, her show and the only reason any of them was around was to support her.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Looks like I made the right decision-”

“Well wait, listen to this. Dino threatened to quit. He even walked out and Kiki knows that Dino is the only reason she looks so good. So she promised that she wouldn’t take anyone’s performance without negotiating with them the rights to use it.”

Vanessa’s stomach turned at the mention of Dino. She looked away. “Well, I don’t think I care anymore. I’m out of here. Bye Nikki.” She headed for the back stage where the dressing rooms were located.

Nikki called after her. “Well come to the office when you get done and I’ll cut you your final check.”

Vanessa waved her hand in acknowledgement.

The dressing room was a mess as usual, with costumes folded over chairs and make-up strewn around. Vanessa always kept her things in her pouch and for the most part it was easy for people to keep their belongings straight.

She found a shopping bag and loaded her things into it. The costumes would stay behind—and she was suddenly happy that she was the slimmest woman on the show. No one else would ever be able to fit into them.

Vanessa didn’t linger. She didn’t want to run into any of the girls and also wanted to avoid getting into a Kiki and Jackson bashing match. She just wanted to get her stuff and leave. It wasn’t as if she’d had plans of staying forever, but leaving was harder than she had thought it would be. This had been her first job and although she had dressed in skimpy costumes with too much makeup, she had been allowed to sing for a living and that had been good.

With a sigh Vanessa headed to Jackson’s office only to see that the big boss was sitting at his desk waiting for her.

Vanessa kept her face carefully neutral. “I came to get my check, Jackson.”

“Yeah. Nikki told me.” He sighed. “Look Vanessa, I’ll admit that this situation was handled wrong-“

“You don’t say …”

Jackson met her eyes and then lowered them with a nod. “A year ago you came to work for me. I heard your voice and I knew you’d make the club a lot of money.”

Vanessa wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t. She was an adult and nothing these people did would make her lower herself. She was too good for that and obviously too good for any of them.

“You’re the best singer here.” Jackson admitted.

She resisted showing her confusion. He had not said the best other than Kiki—he had said the best. He spread his hands out on his desk as if to show that he was laying his cards out on the table.