Everybody's After Love (22 page)

Our moment doesn’t last long as Eric Clapton’s
Wonderful Tonight
starts. Paulie is pulled away to meet more guests, Doug finds his wife to dance, and Smitty excuses himself for a bathroom break. I find myself awkwardly alone in the middle of the dance floor and make my way to the cake table.

Not surprised, I see Emmy there swiping some frosting off a piece of cake that is waiting for someone to claim it. I tap my high heel against the floor and she looks up busted. I’ve seen that look before from her father, except for an entirely different reason. Smiling, I nod toward the cake. I take her little hand in mine and dip our fingers in the frosting on the uncut cake. She giggles as we do this and I squat down to her level.

“Our secret, okay?” I say with a wink. I watch her eyes twinkle and my heart hurts. Why would Bentley hide her from me?
Oh, that’s right, her mother, his wife.

Licking her finger, she nods and I do the same thing. Someone clears their throat and I look up into the eyes of her father. Normally, cake is my safe place, but I should’ve known better tonight. His hand reaches down and takes mine, pulling me up.

“Emmy, one piece,” he says glancing down at his little girl and then looking back to me. “Dance with me, Jules,” he demands.

Obediently, because I’m not quite ready to give him up, I follow him onto the dance floor. His strong hands pull me close, one rests on my waist, the other capturing my hand. I set one hand on his bicep and lean my head against his chest. We sway back and forth and when he starts to speak, I stop him.

“Don’t talk, Bentley. Let me enjoy this right now because I’m never going to have it again,” I whisper.

“Jules, you can have this again. Please let me explain,” he begs and leans back, forcing me to look up at him.

“Explain what?” I seethe, trying not to cause a scene but barely able to control my anger. “That you forgot to tell me you had a wife and kid?”

I pull away from him and run to the front door. Bentley’s not one to give up and I know that. He chases after me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around when I’m halfway across the parking lot. With all my strength, I push on his chest, but he easily grabs both of my hands with his one strong one and holds them still as he leans down and kisses me. My body betrays me and melts into his kiss, craving more until I remember he’s married. I pull my head back, tears streaking down my face, but I don’t care about holding them in any longer.

I take a few steps backward, putting space between us before I yell, “I trusted you, Bentley! I told you things I haven’t even told my brother and it turns out you haven’t even been honest with me this entire time?”

“Julianna…”

“No! Don’t think you can call me that, only people who love me are allowed to use my full name,” I scream. “I opened my heart for the first time. I opened it for
you
and all you did was stomp all over it. So don’t Julianna me, Bentley Ladner. Just leave me alone and don’t ever speak to me again!”

He sighs and reaches for me, but quickly drops his hands knowing it’s no use as I stand before him, shaking and crying.

Smitty runs up behind him and looks at me, not even acknowledging Bentley’s presence. “Jules, you okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned.

Looking away from Bentley, I nod. “I want to go home.”

He glances at Bentley then back to me. “You got it.”

Smitty puts his hand in the small of my back and guides me away, but I stop and turn to Bentley. “I thought you were real. I thought we were real, Bentley. I don’t understand how you could do this.”

Pain in his eyes, Bentley sighs. “We are real, Julianna.”

What is left of my heart breaks once more as he says that.

***

I watch Julianna climb into Smitty’s Tahoe and I can’t move. She told me to leave her alone, never speak to her again. I should head back inside, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. I watch Smitty pull her into a hug in the front of his car as she sobs uncontrollably. That’s my girl, I should be the one consoling her, but instead I’m the one that’s brought her to tears.

I hate myself. If I could kick my own ass, I would. I was foolish enough to think my divorce would be finalized before I had to tell Jules. Why was I so scared of telling her? I sigh as I watch the taillights of Smitty’s SUV drive away from me, along with part of my heart. I didn’t tell her because I was afraid of losing her but now it looks like I already have without even having the chance to tell her about my past myself. God, I thought it hurt when I caught Christie in bed with another man but that was nothing compared to this.

“Daddy!” I hear Emmy call out behind me.

I spin around quickly, worried she might run after me in the middle of the parking lot. “What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for Jules, I saved her some of the special cake Paulie got me,” she explains. My heart sinks deeper into my stomach. Taking her hand, we walk back inside and I see so much of Jules in my daughter. Emmy puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyebrows. “Are we dancing or what, Dad?” I smile as my daughter pulls me out to the dance floor again to the
Twist
. I’ll get Jules back, just like I plan on fighting Christie for custody of Emmy. Without my girls, my life isn’t complete.

CHAPTER 26

Exactly one month later, Paulie sits in the recliner in my living room. The memory of Bentley relaxing there still comes to mind but I quickly push that away, along with everything else that is Bentley-related.

“Married life is treating you well,” I tease my brother as I pinch the small chub roll on his side. It’s probably the first ounce of fat my brother’s ever had on him but it’s obvious that Bri should have had no concerns on the cooking front.

He shrugs. “She’s taking cooking classes. What kind of husband would I be if I turned down creme brulee?”

I roll my eyes, plopping down into the leather couch and pulling a pillow in front of me. “Well, you know my fridge is only full of freezer meals so feel free to bring over any leftovers.”

Laughing, he nods and his smile disappears. Uh-oh, I know this look. It’s time for one of Paulie’s famous heart to hearts. “You doing okay after the…you know… ”

I shrug, acting like I don’t know what he’s talking about. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? You know I never get attached,” I lie and Paulie knows it by the way he lifts his eyebrows.

“Look, I know I was the one that bust in and told him to leave you alone, but there’s more to the story that I didn’t know.”

My heart sinks as I stare at him, unable to speak. My brother swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he does. “The day of the wedding, some woman knocked on the door to our dressing room. When I opened it, she introduced herself as Christie Ladner and said she was dropping off Bentley’s daughter. Bri and I had talked about you and Bentley dating, she never mentioned he was married or had a kid. The day of the cake tasting was the only time I’d ever met Emmy and it didn’t register since no one ever introduced her as family.” He sighs and shakes his head, dragging his hand over his face. “I failed you, Jules. I should have found out more about Bentley before I encouraged your relationship. I was so wrapped up in you finally finding a real man that can love and take care of you the way I do, that I didn’t find out the details.”

Leaning over I take his hand and lightly squeeze it. “It’s okay, big brother. It’s not your fault.”

Paulie continues. “There’s more. After I saw Christie and Emmy, I immediately assumed he was still married. I think part of me didn’t want to let you go, see another man taking care of you. Julianna, it’d been my job for over ten years and in my mind, no one could do it better except that Bentley was.”

Tears sting my eyes and I get up, moving to my brother’s lap as we embrace and I cry into his chest. Guess I wasn’t the only one afraid of losing their sibling. Paulie holds me tightly then begins talking again. 

“After the ceremony, I asked Bri what was going on. Bentley was, technically is married but they’ve been separated for almost two years. She actually lives two hours away from here in Cape Girardeau. Jules, please let him talk to you, give him another chance.”

Shocked, I look up at him. “You seriously want me to give him another chance? He never once mentioned a wife, or hell, even his kid, whom I’d met!” I exclaim, projecting some of my anger toward Bentley on my brother.

“The kid thing was a huge mix-up. He thought you knew, Jules.”

I shake my head. “No, I’m done with Bentley Ladner,” I proclaim. “Done,” I say, adding the extra “done” more so for me rather than him. My heart isn’t over Bentley, I’m not sure it ever will be, but maybe by saying I am, it’ll help make it whole again.

Paulie nods. “If that’s how you feel, Jules, I’ll support you.”

I rest my head on his chest again, trying to push away the thoughts of Bentley. Paulie rubs my back. “Mizzou plays the Gamecocks this weekend. Mr. Ladner is taking his RV to the game to tailgate. Doug, Cindy, and Smitty are going. Why don’t you join us?”

As though I could say no to a Mizzou game. I hug my brother and sigh. Still confused by his explanation for Bentley’s actions, I shrug them off knowing that this weekend I can forget about all of it for at least one day.

***

“Mr. Ladner? Mr. Ladner, are you listening?” A perky brunette who happens to be my lawyer’s secretary waves her hand in front of my face. My mind is definitely somewhere else as J.P. finally heard me out the other day and I know he’s talking to Jules right now.

“Sorry,” I apologize. “Is there any way we can speed this whole process up?”

A squatty bald man with a pot belly walks in the door shaking his head. “Bentley, if you want to lose all your assets, we can have this finalized in the morning,” my tenacious lawyer answers as he nods his head. He claps his hand on my shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze. “Your father asked me to watch out for you and that family business. Besides, we’re fighting for your daughter, too, aren’t we?”

My elbows on the table, I lean forward resting my head in my hands. Christie is trying to milk me for everything I’m worth. If it was just about money, I’d give it all to her in a heartbeat so I could get Jules back, but it’s not. I’m also seeking full custody of Emmy.

Her mother is the one that cheated and decided to move two hours away, yet I’m the one being penalized. It’s killing me having my daughter so far away. At least when Christie and I were separated but in the same town, I could stop by after work for a quick hug from my girl, but now that’s not an option. I’m going to fight tooth and nail to keep Emmy close by and then I’m going to do everything I can to win Julianna back.

CHAPTER 27

Sipping a mimosa in front of Mr. Ladner’s forty-three feet long Fleetwood Providence with the sun shining down on us and Mizzou fans buzzing all around is my idea of escaping reality. The forty-two inch television displays the pre-game show as my brother and his father-in-law man the grill. Doug and Smitty stand close by as they all sip their beers in Mizzou coozies.

Beside me, Bri is rambling on about new curtains for their house. I can tell she’s only discussing this because my brother probably told her not to bring up the topic of Bentley. Coming to my rescue, Cindy, Doug’s wife, loops her arm in mine and tells the boys we’ll be back. Bri looks relieved and I know she’s about to bust at the seams wanting to talk to me about her brother.

“Thank you,” I tell Cindy when we’re out of earshot.

She laughs and nods. “Anytime. I don’t think I could handle any more curtain hook discussions.” We both giggle and she reaches in her purse and hands me a flask. “I’m not going to ask about the asshole. We don’t have to talk about him unless you want to. If you just want to get totally wasted too, I’ll hold your hair back later.”