Every Last Breath (4 page)

Eli raced into the bedroom at 6:45 am. “Mom, it’s working. I grew an inch,” He screeched as he pulled her out of bed. “A whole inch mom come and see.”

Maggie reached for her robe. The house was freezing. She tried to be interested in Eli’s growth but something was wrong with the heat. Had the fire died out? Did she leave the door to the garage open?

Eli proudly stood against the wall where his mother had taped a giraffe ruler. His head fit perfectly beside the last mark she made. “WOW, you are really growing,” She said proudly.

“I knew it. I’m gonna be big as Mr. Von Eiffer down the street.”

Maggie had to think about that for a minute. Mrs. Von Eiffer lived alone, or so she thought. Maybe it was her son.

“Thanks mom.”

Eli was average height but lately he’d been obsessed with growing taller than the other kids in his class. She wondered if everything was alright. “It’s too early to start the day baby, can you try to go back to sleep?”

“But I’m too excited mom. Can I just play quietly,please?” he begged

“Eli, you are supposed to stay in bed until 7am.”

“What if I bring my toys onto the bed with me, then I will be in bed till its time?”
       What mother would say no to such negotiations? She would get another hour of sleep, and if he fell asleep early today, all the better.

Randall’s tree farm was just six miles ahead on the left. They had a small Santa’s village outside, which Maggie spotted before Eli. Parking was easy and they were reasonably priced. There was always hot cider and a tent that blew warm air while you waited for them to load it onto your car.

Eli would probably see a friend or two from in town. But right now he had two feet running full speed toward the giant trees in the back of the lot.

Eli’s eyes were aglow with a twelve foot beauty. “How about this one mom?” She marveled at its girth and height. “She is something huh.”

“Can we get it?”

“Honey, where are we gonna put it?”

His smiled disappeared. “It won’t fit will it?”

She tussled his hair. “I’m afraid not.”

“What’s the biggest tree we can get?”

Her shrug only delayed the answer. “About seven feet,we need room for the angel.”

Maggie’s grandfather had made angel for her when she was a little girl. She still had it packed away in a box. After years of moving, her Christmas bundle had dwindled down to a small amount of decorations and ornaments.

“There’s just something about Christmas,” she cheered.

“Yeah, presents.” Eli added.

Christmas had always been more than gifts. Even now the smell of hot cider, the sparkle of the lights, the merry tones of cheer, the cold, the ice, the starry nights; it made her feel like she was in a Hollywood movie. She gently reminded herself that Christmas had been taken back by Halloween and Thanksgiving, everyone fighting more advertisement and yearlong sales.

Where were the days of Christmas caroling and actually caring for our neighbor? When did presents become plastic gift cards that took no thought at all, or meals that resembled little care and preparation?

She was destined to fix that. Perhaps, that’s why they bought the large tree. She paid cash and got a discount, then steered Eli into the heated tent. Impulse will cause a woman to do crazy things, but this topped it all. There was a ten foot tree tied to her Volkswagon and no one who could help it take off once they got home.

Had she been friendlier, she may have had a neighbor or two offer to come help.

Eli had passed out in the car on the ride home. She pulled up the driveway slowly, not sure of what to do next. The sky was dark by 5:15pm and she had no dinner and a long way to drag this precious tree.

Maggie snuck out of the car and let the dog out. Vala was good, her training had really paid off. She took the dog for a short walk, keeping her eyes on the car at all times. You never knew what could happen these days.  She hurried back inside when the phone rang. The house phone, of all things. She barely reached it in time, the voice sounded unfamiliar but they knew her.

“Maggie dear, it’s Ingrid Von Eiffer from down the street. Listen I hate to bother you, but we just saw you drive by. My nephew is here, and he is wondering if he can help you with that tree of yours.” She hesitated. “I’m fine, Ingrid. Thank you.”

“So you have a boyfriend then? Is that who’s going to help you with the tree?”

Again she paused. “No, no boyfriend here,” she replied.  “I hate to trouble your nephew. I will find someone tomorrow.”

Ingrid laughed. “I’ll send him right up. You can thank me tomorrow.”

She hung up before Maggie could say no.

Eli ran into the warm house, “Can we start a fire mom?”

He made no mention of exiting the car without her permission. She looked at the monstrous tree and back at him. It was going to be a long night. “I need to check the firewood situation babe.”

She put the phone back on the receiver and balanced her thoughts. Maybe this scrawny teen could at least help her get it in the door.

She pulled out an old blanket and spread it out on the driveway, hoping to roll the tree off the hood. Before she could do the math at her wood supply and finances, a dark figure came toward the garage. Her heart stopped and she tightened her fists. The door was open. Either she would make it inside or Vala would run out before he got to her.

“Ma’am I’m Ben Hall, Ingrid’s nephew,” he said in a very deep, beautiful voice.

Maggie sized up the rugged jeans, and thick flannel coat. “You’re the nephew?” She asked incredulously.

“Yes,” he smiled gently. Her shoulders relaxed immediately.

The man tipped his head under the garage door as Maggie’s eyes widened. He was the epitome of a lumberjack, boots and all. He had to stand six foot three, easy. He looked at the roof of her car, “That’s some tree.”

She shrugged, “The things you do for your kids.”

He smiled back. Mental note, he has all his teeth— a rarity in the mountains.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
       “I walked all the way up here; it’d be a shame if you don’t let me help.”

“You’re a godsend trust me.”

He looked at her as if he wanted to return the compliment but refused. “Want to show me where it’s going?”

“Oh, come on in.” Maggie walked ahead and gave Vala the command to stand down, “Bezpency.”

“Now that’s a beautiful dog.” Maggie offered no introductions. “I’ve never seen a white shepherd before.”
        It felt strange to have a man stand behind and follow her into the house. The sensation was arousing. She walked by the kitchen and into the living room, “I was thinking it may fit here. We’ll have to trim it, of course, but the light from the window is perfect.”

“Mommy, you’re cutting my tree?”

Maggie spun on her heels. “Hey baby. This is Mr. Hall. He’s Mrs. Von Eiffer’s nephew.”

Eli rushed forward. “Wow, you are a super tall man. I’ve seen you before when we drove by.”

Ben knelt down. “Hi there little man,” he said as he held out his large hand. “I’m glad to meet you.”

“Can you help us with the Kris-maas tree?” Eli loved to exaggerate the word Christmas.

Ben stood up. “That’s why I am here.”

Eli’s neck bent up, “How’d you get to be so tall?”
Ben laughed heartily, like Santa but without the beard.

“Magic boots.”

Eli shifted his eyes to the floor. “Wow.”

“Mom can I get magic boots for Christmas?” He pleaded.

She looked to Ben as if the stranger could help her out with this one.

He looked down at the boy, “You better write that letter to Santa if you want the boots. And tell him you are eating your veggies too.”

Eli’s shoulders fell. “But mom, we already did that in school. I mailed it to the north pole last week.”

Ben patted his curly head. “That’s okay. You can always talk to Santa at the mall, right?”

“But my mommy doesn’t like the mall. We never go.”

“Never?” he asked glancing at Maggie.

“You have to take the kid for Christmas. I work in Denver and the mall there is decorated like the North Pole. You have to come see it. The display is outlandish and very appealing, I promise.”

Eli tugged on Ben’s jeans. “What’s outlandish mean?”

“It means the elves are there. And there is a train, and lots of goodies.”

“Can we go mom, can we?”
        She skirted the question. “Denver is a long drive bud. Plus, what are we gonna do with Vala? We can’t leave her here all day.”

“We could bring her with us.”

“Honey, why don’t you help Mr. Hall with the tree and I will think about it.”

The boy slouched over and mumbled to himself.

“Do you need my help?”

“I think we can handle it.”

Maggie made a mental note that Ben was helping boost Eli’s self esteem. It was a man project and she didn’t need to interfere.

She pulled out some leftover roast beef for dinner and made sure there was enough in case Ben wanted to stay. She could thank her mother for the Italian cooking gene, she made more than was necessary for just her and Eli, and would continue to do so. Besides, Eli was always asking people to stay for dinner. She assumed he missed his father and tried to create his own family by having friends come for dinner.

He invited everybody, even kids from school who lived an hour away.

Five minutes later the garage door swung open and in came her little tyke with a red nose and zipped up coat that made him a bit clumsy. “This way,” he hollered. She rushed to the door and closed it behind them.

The tree farm had an extra large stand, for an additional twenty bucks, plus tip for whoever tied the monster pine onto her car. She was in for well over a hundred dollars by time they left. But the smile on Eli’s face was worth it.

The tree was up in no time, without much effort either. “Wow,” Maggie rounded the kitchen corner and stared at the massive pine.”
        “I can’t believe it fits.” Of course given his height, Ben made the tree a bit smaller.

“I took another six inches off just to be sure. I figured you may have an angel or star that you want to fit at the top.”

“We do. Thank you.”

Maggie turned back to get some money for Ben.

“Hey mom, can he stay for dinner?”

She smiled, having been one step ahead of him. Ben held out his hand in protest. “That’s not necessary.”

“It’s no problem. I was already heating up dinner when you were outside.”

He straightened up. “I’m grateful for the offer but I have to get back.”

Eli’s shoulders caved yet again. He was either crushed or manipulating the situation. Maggie wasn’t sure.

“Buddy, Ben has a family too, he needs to get home.”

Her heart did a minor jilt when he didn’t correct her. In her experience a man will let you know if he is available. Either way she was not having a handsome rugged dinner guest and it was best to let the notion go.

“It was a pleasure meeting both of you. I hope to see you soon,”

Eli followed Ben to the garage door and watched as Maggie closed it behind him. His behavior reminded her that her son was growing up without a father figure; and that was her choice. Eli would never hear from his father again, would he? And she’d hold on to that secret until she died.

CHAPTER SIX

Maggie woke at 1:50 am, rubbing her neck. The fire was at a dull roar. She closed the flute and trailed off to bed. She had a glass or two of wine and perused through her favorite online catalog once Eli fell asleep. He had talked about Ben for nearly an hour once he left.

Maggie felt a twinge of guilt yet again for being a single mom, but she wasn’t about to date someone just to please her son. There’s no way she was ready— not even if Mr. Hall was available. Her stubbornness had become quite the defense. It served her well too.

She shut off the lights and peered into Eli’s room. The bright glow of his globe was still spinning; even she enjoyed the universe display as it moved along the ceiling. He wanted her to keep it on all night as a reward for finally moving into his own bedroom.

As she shut the door, she thought of Ben. It was a strange but comfortable feeling to have a man in their home. A man she found attractive, in a rugged sort of way. But what was attraction, other than a group of hormones and chemicals that led to stupid decisions?

What she needed, if she even needed man, was someone who was docile and trustworthy. Not someone who worked in Denver and did God knows what while he was gone. It was too easy these days to pop pills, have affairs, hide your true self. No, she was better off with Vala. Then Claire’s voice wandered through her mind. You can’t hide forever Maggie. One day you have to find a father for Eli.