Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (5 page)

Successful people don’t allow garbage trucks to unload on them. If somebody dumps a load on you, don’t be upset. Don’t be angry. Don’t be offended. If you make that mistake, you’ll end up carrying their loads around and eventually you’ll dump them on somebody else.

Keep your lid on. Sometimes you may need to have a steel lid. These days, though, so many people are dumping out poison through criticism, bad news, and anger, you’ll need to keep that lid on tight. We can’t stop people from dumping their garbage, but by keeping our lids on, we can tell them to recycle instead!

Right after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I was invited to a local television station to be interviewed on a news program. I had to be there early Monday morning around six thirty. I was already tired after our Sunday services and weekend events. The day was cold, and raining, and still dark. I didn’t really feel like being on television, but I had made the commitment, so I was on my way. They had told me beforehand to park right up front in this special lot reserved for the people on the program. And so when I arrived, I pulled in there. But when I parked my car, a woman security
guard rushed at me like I had just committed a major crime. She was not friendly at all. In fact, she was downright rude.

“Sir, what do you think you are doing?” she said. “You cannot park here. This is reserved for our special guests.”

I wanted to say, “Lady, you can’t get any more special than me.”

I had to bite my tongue.

“Well, ma’am, I am on the program today and they told me I could park here,” I explained.

“Oh, they don’t know what they’re talking about,” she said. “I run this lot. You have to park outside the gate.”

I returned to my car. I couldn’t find anywhere to park. I had to go into a little neighborhood far away, and it was still raining. I didn’t have an umbrella. And as I ran to the station, with every step I thought,
This is not right. I need to tell somebody about that parking lot lady. I should get her straightened out.

I was about to give away my power, but I walked into the building and forgot all about it.

A couple of hours later, after the show, I walked out and the sun was shining. Do you know the same security guard came up and she was like a different person?

“Oh, Pastor Osteen,” she said. “If I had known that was you, I would have let you park there.”

I was so glad I bit my tongue. She went on to say, “Do you think you would have time to pray for me?”

I wanted to say, “I would if I didn’t have to walk so far.”

Make up your mind that you will not accept other people’s garbage. They may dump it, but you don’t have to receive it. Keep your lid on.

A small pot boils the quickest. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to get him upset. Your emotions will be controlled by either your circumstances or your character. If someone is rude to you, your emotions will tell you,
Pay them back. Get even.

That doesn’t take any discipline. When your strength is under control, when you’ve developed your character, you realize,
I’m bigger than this. I will not let them pull me down. I have places to go, goals to accomplish, dreams to realize.

I think it’s interesting that the apostle Paul never prayed for people to be delivered from their problems. He prayed that God would give them the strength to go through challenges with a good attitude. At times we think,
God, if You would just change these people who are aggravating me
;
God, if You’d just make my child straighten up
. Or,
God, if You’d just move my boss to another planet
. Or,
God, if You’d deliver me from these people, I could be happy
.

But the truth is, those people may never change. I hope they do, but even if they don’t change,
you
can. If you make an adjustment, they won’t upset you anymore.

You have the power right now to live a joy-filled, faith-filled, peace-filled life. But you must say, “God, even if it never changes, it will not steal my joy. I know You hold me in the palm of Your hand. I know You have my best interests at heart, so God, I’m totally trusting You.”

The enemy can use against you anything you feel you “have to have” to be happy. If you think you
have
to be married to be happy, the enemy can use that against you. If you think your boss
has
to change before you can enjoy your work, you’ll go year after year dreading it, thinking that’s why you can’t be happy.

It’s good to have hopes and dreams. It’s good to wake up each day believing and expecting. But don’t wait for those things to come before you enjoy your life and find happiness. This is the day the Lord has made, not tomorrow, not when all your dreams come to pass, not when all the negative people are changed, but
today
.

Understand, God has you exactly where He wants you. If you’ll learn to be happy where you are, God will take you where you want to be. He’s promised He will give you the desires of your heart. If there is something you really want, I would encourage you to put it on the altar. Just say, “God, I would really love to have this. God, You know the desire You put in me. I would love to be married. I’d love to see my spouse change. I would love to be promoted. But God, I’m not waiting on that to be happy. I’m happy right where You have me.”

That’s the kind of attitude God is looking for.

I know a man who struggled in his marriage for years. He and his wife did not see eye-to-eye on many issues, and she would not come to church with him. For the longest time this left him feeling down and discouraged. Then, I saw him awhile back and asked how everything was going. He seemed to be very upbeat. He said, “Everything is great. I’m really enjoying my life.”

I thought for sure that he and his wife were getting along better and they had resolved all those issues. But he said, “No, my wife is just the same. We still don’t see eye-to-eye. She still won’t come to church with me.”

Then he said something very interesting.

“She hasn’t changed, but I’ve changed. I don’t let our differences upset me anymore. I don’t let them steal my joy.”

Find out what is stealing your joy. Take inventory of your life. What are you allowing to upset you? What’s causing you to stress out all day? Identify what it is, and then make a decision to change your approach in that area. After all, being upset will not make the situation any better. If someone is rude to you, being rude in return will only sour your day. If your plans don’t work out, stay in peace. Instead of being upset, know that God is still directing your steps. He’s still got you exactly where He wants you.

I was driving in a crowded parking lot and finally saw a space, but another driver got in there before I could, even though it was obvious I was waiting. I made this decision: “I’ll give him the parking spot, but I will not give him my joy.”

It’s liberating when you understand you don’t have to give away your joy. Sometimes we blame other people or other things for problems that we’ve created for ourselves. We don’t realize that our refusal to change is causing the same problem again and again. I heard about this man who had not been feeling well. He went to see his doctor. The doctor said, “What’s wrong?”

He said, “Well, Doctor, lately I’ve been dizzy and I’m seeing white spots.”

The doctor examined him and put him through some tests. Several days later, he called the ailing man back and said, “Sir, I hate to tell you
this, but you’ve got a rare disease and we think you only have about six months to live.”

The man quit his job and set off to travel the world and do all the things he’d always hoped to do. He spent more time with his family, and he bought a new sports car. One day he was driving by this famous clothing shop and decided to go in and buy a tailor-made suit.

The tailor came in and measured his arm length: “Thirty-three inches.” Then he measured his waist: “Thirty-two.” Next was his pant length: “Thirty-four.” And finally the tailor measured his neck and said, “I’m making you a size sixteen-and-a-half shirt.”

The man said, “No, I wear a fifteen-inch shirt.”

The tailor measured his neck again very carefully.

“No, sir,” he said. “Look, you wear a sixteen-and-a-half-inch shirt.”

The man was very adamant. “No, sir. I wear a fifteen-inch shirt,” he told the tailor. “I’ve worn that size my whole adult life. I want you to make me a fifteen-inch shirt.”

The tailor said, “Well, fine. I’ll make you a fifteen-inch shirt, but it will be so tight it will make you dizzy and you’ll see white spots.”

Often, people become set in their ways and refuse to change even when they are hurting. If you are willing to change, if you will make adjustments, many times you will see your “white spots” disappear. You will see your frustrations go away.

Recognize the real source of the problem. If it’s you, make a change. If it’s someone else, don’t let him or her steal your joy. Don’t give away your power. Keep your lid on. When somebody tries to dump their garbage on you, just smile, wave at them, and move on. If you’ll learn this principle to not give away your power and focus on developing your character, you will enjoy life much more.

I
went for barbecue one day and the drive-thru lady was very grumpy. She jumped down my throat before the first part of my order was out of my mouth.

“Hold on! I’m not ready,” she barked.

Then I made the mistake of asking her what the side dishes were. You might have thought I’d asked for her favorite child.

She screamed the complete list of sides at me.

I had to keep reminding myself to stay calm:
You’re the pastor of a church. Keep your joy. Don’t let her affect you. Infect her instead.

You have to talk yourself down in the heat of battle. Giving her a piece of my mind would have been easy. I’d just repent later. Instead, I remembered that dealing with challenging people helps build character.

I placed my order as nicely as could be at the drive-thru speaker. I said “Please” and “Thank you” and tossed in a “Have a good day!” at no extra charge.

Then when I drove up to her window, I put on the most fake smile you’ve ever seen.

“Good to see you,” I said, as chipper as I could muster.

I was really thinking,
You need counseling!

Grumpy turned from the register, looked at me, and did a double take.

“Pastor Joel, I watch you all the time!”

I wanted to say, “Do you ever listen?”

Then, instead of my barbecue, she handed me one of my books. (I’m positive she hadn’t read it yet!)

“Would you sign this for me?” she asked, a little nicer but not much.

I opened it and thought about underlining all the lessons on joy.

Instead, I signed it, “Keep smiling that beautiful smile, Joel Osteen.”

Hebrews 1:9 says, “God has anointed You with the oil of gladness more than Your companions” (
NKJV
).

You and I are supposed to be happier than the average person. God has anointed us with the oil of joy. You can’t let anyone’s bad attitude ruin your good one. Instead, infect them with a smile and a kind word. God knew you would have to deal with negative people. That’s why He said, “I’ve given you an advantage; I’ve anointed you with the oil of joy so you can be happier than those around you.”

Tap into that joy and don’t hide it. It should be seen.

Studies have proven that a smile on your face is good for you and everyone around you. In one test, people were asked to show facial expressions for fear and anger. Their bodies responded just as if they were really feeling those emotions, triggering increased heart rate, raising their skin temperature, and making them sweat. Those same people were then asked to smile, and their heart rates settled down, their temperatures dropped, and they didn’t sweat so much. They said they felt happy.

Our Creator knows all this, of course. God refers specifically to our “countenances” more than fifty times in the Scripture. You see the word
rejoice
again and again. To rejoice doesn’t just mean to sing. It also means to brighten up, to put a smile on your face, to be cheerful. When you go through the day with a smile, you are rejoicing. By having a cheerful countenance, being friendly and fun to be around, you are giving praise to God.

Too many people drag through the day with long faces. Some don’t smile for months. Then they’ll come up with those same sour faces after a service and say to me, “I’ve got the joy of the Lord.”

I’ll think:
You should notify your face!

The Bible says to be sober-minded, not sober-faced. You receive back
what you project. If you’re sour, grumpy, and unfriendly, then others will be sour, grumpy, and unfriendly back to you. Misery loves company. If you look miserable, you will attract defeat, negativity, gloom, doom, and discouragement.