Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (36 page)

You can get your joy back if you just change the channel. If you are remembering only the negative, remembering what didn’t work out, and who hurt you, and how unfair it was, then it’s not surprising you’re feeling down. You are watching the wrong channel. God has done something great for every one of us. Maybe God has given you a child. The day that little baby was born you were so excited. Why don’t you replay that miracle in your mind? Maybe God has given you a house, He’s given you a promotion, or maybe you received a good medical report. You were so thrilled. You were on cloud nine. Learn to replay those victories in your mind.

To keep yourself encouraged, make sure you’re watching the right channel. You cannot stay down and defeated as long as you’re thinking
about the goodness of God. I try to do that, in fact, every time I drive near Lakewood Church. Whether I’m driving by on the freeway or pulling up to a service, I always say, without fail, “Thank You, Lord, for our beautiful building.”

I’m still amazed at what God has done. Whenever I see our church, I don’t even have to think about it anymore, my thank-you to the Lord just comes out of me naturally. I guess I’ve developed a habit. I’ve probably said that phrase ten thousand times. Every time I do, you know what’s happening? I’m encouraging myself. My faith is increasing. I can feel strength on the inside. I know if God gave us this building, He can do anything.

Our son, Jonathan, was in a car driven by our friend Johnny when they passed Lakewood Church on the way home one day. As they were driving by, Jonathan said to Johnny, “Let me say it for my dad: ‘Thank You, Lord, for our beautiful building.’ ” He’s heard me say it so often, now he’s saying it. The Scripture says we should tell our children and our grandchildren the great things God has done!

I see too many people today who have just settled where they are. Giving in to the spirit of discouragement steals dreams. The attitude of those who settle for less is:
It’s not worth it. My marriage is not worth fighting for. It’s never working out.
Or,
I’m tired of dealing with this child. It’s not worth the struggle. I’m tired of doing what’s right; I’m never getting ahead.
No, don’t believe those lies. That is the spirit of discouragement trying to steal your dreams and keep you right where you are.

Let me tell you something you already know deep down in your spirit. Every promise God has put in your heart, every dream He’s planted on the inside, is well worth the fight. Your child is worth it. Your marriage is worth it. Your health is worth it. Your dreams are worth it.

Don’t you dare settle where you are. You may have suffered a setback. Like David in the Bible, you’ve been through a disappointment. Maybe a relationship didn’t work out. Maybe you’re facing a major health issue right now. Remember this: Every setback is a setup for a comeback.

You may have been knocked down, but you weren’t knocked out.
You’ve got to get back up, dust yourself off. God has you in the palm of His hand. He said if you would stay in faith, He would not only bring you out, He would bring you out better off than you were before.

This is what David had to do. He was down, but he didn’t stay down. He mentally replayed his victories. He thanked God for what He had done in the past. When he changed the channel and took on an attitude of faith and expectancy, David went from being a victim to being a victor. He said to his men, “Get up, guys. We’re attacking the enemy.”

The Scripture says they not only recovered everything that had been stolen from them, but they came out with more than they had before (see 1 Samuel 30). That’s what God wants to do for every one of us. But it all started when David encouraged himself. He recognized the main battle wasn’t taking place on the outside. It was taking place on the inside.

When all the odds were against him—his family wasn’t there, his friends had turned on him, the news wasn’t good, the economy was low, gas was high—his attitude was, “I’m not worried about any of that. I know the God I serve is well able to deliver me.”

David said, in effect; “I’ve seen God lift me out of the pit before. He set my feet on a rock, put a new song in my heart. And if He did it for me back then, I know He’ll do it for me right now.” That’s the kind of attitude that gets God’s attention.

I know you can look back in life and say with David, “If it had not been for the goodness of God, where would I be?” In other words:

• “I should have had a nervous breakdown when I went through that divorce, but God filled me with His strength.”
  

• “I should have given up and been depressed when my loved one died, but God gave me a new beginning.”
  

• “I shouldn’t be here today, according to the medical report, but because of the goodness of God, I’m still alive and well.”
  

• “My business should have gone bankrupt a long time ago, but because of God’s favor it turned around.”
  

• “I should be messed up in my mind because of all the addictions I had. But because of the mercy of God, my chains are broken and I’m totally free today.”
  

• “My family should be torn apart, but because of God’s goodness we’re still here together.”
  

You cannot stay down and defeated as long as you’re meditating on the goodness of God! Switch off the Defeat Channel. Switch off the Who Hurt Me Channel, the I Come from the Wrong Family Channel, and the Gloom and Despair Channel.

Turn them off and switch to the Victory Channel, to the All Things Are Possible Channel, to the God Is Well Able Channel, to the My Best Days Are Ahead of Me Channel. Remember the good things God has done, and faith will fill your heart.

Another thing that can help you stay encouraged is creating an “Encouragement File.” Whenever someone sends you a kind note or a compliment, put it in a file in your home or office. Then when you’re tempted to be down, pull out those letters and notes and read them again. Let those words lift your spirits. Many times, after just five minutes of being reminded how much people love you and of remembering some of the good things you’ve done, your attitude will totally change.

I started an Encouragement File when I first began ministering. Whenever someone sent me a kind note, a nice letter, or even when someone just gave me a compliment, I’d put it in the file. Back in those days, if someone said something even halfway encouraging, I put it in there. I remember this elderly man I’d see at the gym was always kidding me about something. But one day he wrote me a note that said, “I watched your sermon on television yesterday. All I can say is, ‘Better luck next time.’ ”

I was so happy that he at least watched the sermon; I put his note in my Encouragement File. Sometimes you can’t be picky. Thank God, today his note is in “File 13.” I don’t need that one anymore.

Shortly after I became a minister, this little boy about five years old came up after my sermon and said: “I really love listening to your stories.”

I was feeling so good.

Then he said, “But if I were you, I’d leave out all that other boring stuff.”

You need an Encouragement File, too. In my file I have letters, compliments, and birthday cards. Not long ago one of my third-grade teachers wrote my mom a note about what a good student I was, and how friendly I was, and how I smiled so much even back then. That encouraged me. I put my teacher’s note in my file. And now, at least every couple of months, I’ll pull out that file and flip through some of those letters.

What am I doing? I’m encouraging myself. It’s like being on a good maintenance program. Be encouraged on a regular basis.

If you are worried that no one has sent you nice notes, given you credit, or offered a compliment that you can put in an Encouragement File, I have a solution. Write yourself some nice letters. Write down what you like about yourself. List your strengths. List your accomplishments. List some of the good things you’ve done for others.

When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. It should come from the inside.

This is what God did. He praised Himself. We’re told in the book of Genesis that God created the waters and He said, “That was good.” He created the sky and He said, “That was good.” He created the fish and the animals and He stepped back and said, “That was good.” He created you and me and said, “That was really good.”

I love the fact that God praised Himself. Most of the time we are so critical of ourselves, and so focused on what we’ve done wrong, we never even think about complimenting ourselves.

I’ve got these faults. I’m struggling with this addiction.
Or,
I’m not nearly as talented as my co-workers
.

That’s not the way to think. Find something that you’re doing right so you can say, “You know what? That was good.”

Even when you walk out of church, you can pat yourself on the back and say, “I did something right today. I took time to honor God by coming to church. I must say, ‘I did good.’ ”

When I walk off the platform at Lakewood Church each week, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You did good today.” I may not have done as well as somebody else, but I did the best that I could do, and that’s all that really matters.

Here’s my point: If you don’t compliment yourself, you will never become everything God created you to be. Feel good about who you are. I’m not talking about being arrogant and going around thinking you are better than everybody else. I’m talking about learning to accept and approve yourself. Happiness is an inside-out proposition. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you will never be able to find joy in each and every day.

Instead of always catching yourself doing something wrong, I want you to get in the habit of catching yourself doing things right. I hear people who are always condemning themselves. “There I go again—spent too much money.” “There I go again. I ate something that I shouldn’t have.” “There I go again—lost my temper.”

They always see the wrong, never the right.

“I’m just down on myself ’cause I didn’t work out one time last week.”

Maybe not, but you did take the stairs instead of the elevator. That was good.

“Well, I didn’t clean my house yesterday like I wanted to.”

Maybe not, but you did go to your child’s ball game. That was good.

“Well, I didn’t take my friend out to lunch like I promised.”

No, but you sure were kind to that security guard. Quit catching yourself doing something wrong and start catching yourself doing something right.

Some of you have never once said out loud to yourself, “I’m a good mother.” “I’m a good father.” “I’m talented and creative.” “I’m kind and considerate.”

I don’t say this arrogantly, but I like who God made me to be. I love to
compliment other people, but I’ve learned even to compliment myself. I like the gifts God has given me. I like my personality. I like my height. I like my age. I like what I’m able to do.

One of the recordings playing in my mind all through the day is:
You’re a good father. You’re a good husband. You’re talented. You’re creative. You’re kind. You’re fun to be around.

It is easy to stay encouraged when you learn to compliment yourself. Sometimes we think it’s humble to compliment somebody else while putting ourselves down.

“Man, you’re so good at that. I could never do anything like you.”

No, you can do exactly what God has created you to do.

People often tell me, “I could never speak in front of large crowds like you do.”

Maybe not, but I could never fly an airplane like you do. I could never design houses like you do. I could never teach children like you do. The fact is, every one of us is good at something. We shouldn’t look at somebody else and think,
Man, they are so talented. They are so creative. They are so disciplined. They are so good-looking. I don’t know what in the world happened to me.

No, start looking in the mirror and saying, “You are so talented. You are so creative. You are so disciplined. You good-looking thing.”

You’ve got to compliment yourself. Try it. It may work. It didn’t for my brother, Paul! But you try it anyway.

A young lady named Brittany moved to a new school in junior high. Most of the students had grown up together and been friends for years and years. She was having a tough time breaking in and really connecting with anybody.

This school had a tradition that during the week before Valentine’s Day, students could buy 25-cent carnations to send to one another. The carnations were all delivered during homeroom on Valentine’s Day in front of the whole class. So it was a big deal to see how many carnations everyone received.

Well, Brittany knew she would not receive any carnations. She was new to the school and didn’t have any friends. She was dreading that day, thinking she’d be left out and embarrassed.

But then Brittany came up with a great idea. Instead of just sitting back and watching everybody else get flowers, she decided to send some to her
self. She took five dollars down to the school office where she asked for twenty carnation delivery forms. Then she filled them out in private so nobody would know she was sending them to herself.

On Valentine’s Day, most of the young ladies received three or four carnations. The real popular girls might have five or six or seven delivered to them. But in Brittany’s homeroom, it seemed every other carnation came to her. Her homeroom classmates looked at her, thinking,
Who in the world is this girl? She has so many friends.

One after another carnation was delivered to her. Her classmates would ask, “Who’s that from?” And Brittany would look at the note and say, “Oh. They are so special. They love me so much. I can’t wait to tell them thanks.”

They had no idea she was talking about herself. You would have thought Brittany was the most popular girl in school. By the end of Valentine’s Day, she was the envy of the whole class. She had more carnations than anybody else.