Eve: A Novel (22 page)

The man took a deep breath and smiled at her. She hated to deceive such kindness. The reminder of who she truly was, a lying manipulator, made her stomach turn. She let none of that show on her face.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Lilly,” he began. “You do seem a little better, but you’re exhausted. I think the cosmos can grant an extra day of rest. If it all explodes, then so be it. I care more for you than I do the destiny of our planet.”

Completely fooled!
This was her first thought. His words bounced off her like a pebble off a brass shield.
If he really knew the truth of me, he’d discard me in an instant
.

What could she do but acquiesce, to play the game of submitting to his guidance? “Are you going to eat anything?” she asked.

“Not today,” he answered. “I may take a little water later. But you should. Then get some rest. I have a sense about tomorrow that I can’t seem to shake, almost a foreboding. I am trying to get some clarity but that too might have to wait. Anita and Gerald have already taken their meals in their room.” John leaned down and hugged Lilly longer than usual, almost as if to say good-bye. He kissed her on the forehead, then left toward his quarters.

Although it wasn’t needed, Simon rolled her toward the table. “He’s naïve and sentimental, or worse,” he asserted, when John was out of earshot. “No one loves like that, unless they have a reason. Lilith, you’re not falling for any of that, are you?”

“Of course not,” she responded.

“It’s sickening,” Simon continued, “how they all are using you,
each for their own purposes. John’s the worst of all.”

“How can you say that? He’s given up everything for me—his home, his privacy, probably his money—”

“He hasn’t given up a thing. This Refuge is his little kingdom, and you’re the pawn who will solidify his power. You can’t begin to imagine the authority he will possess when he owns the actual record of Beginnings. All of them stand to gain, can’t you see? They’ll be able to influence the whole world and craft mythology that suits them. Lilith, they are here to use you. You can’t let them.”

Lilly was surprised. “Do you really think he’s using me for his own gain?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Simon sat down next to her and began choosing foods to pile onto her plate. “Haven’t you noticed the hushed conversations he’s always having with the others? They stop talking when I come near. They’re plotting something, and I guarantee it is not in your best interests.”

Lilly picked at the food, her appetite gone and inner turmoil returned. “And what is your agenda? Why are you here? Do you have my best interests at heart, Simon?”

The man stopped and looked at her, putting down his knife and fork before speaking. “No, Lilith, I do not have your best interests at heart. At least I admit it, not like the others, who are lying through their teeth.”

Simon took her hand. His skin was unexpectedly cold and clammy but still felt good against her fever. “I do want good for you, but I confess I’m interested in you for my own reasons.”

“What are those?”

“
Lilith, if you really are the Witness who can change history, you may be able to bring my wife back to me.”

“But, Simon, I thought you said she is dead!”

“Not to me, she’s not. I said she is in a better place. She is in my every waking moment and in my dreams at night. She comes to me and I can’t hold her or even touch her. She was my everything and I had lost my hope until I met you. You, Lilith, have given me the courage to live and hope again. Together, you and I, we’ll change the world.”

Lilly was stunned. Was Simon’s affection for his wife true love or craziness? She couldn’t quite decide. But the romance of it appealed to her, the thought that someone could one day love her like Simon loved his wife.

“How?” she asked, frustrated. “I wasn’t able to stop Adam. He turned before I understood what was happening.”

“I agree,” said Simon. “But you can still stop her.”

“Her? Who? You mean Eve? Stop her from what?”

Standing up, Simon began to pace around the room, clasping and unclasping his hands. “I’ve said too much. She has to make real choices for this to work, but if I say too much, then she may be coerced, and nothing will ever change.” He wasn’t even talking to her but rambling through thoughts as if they were calculations. “But perhaps if I say just enough, then the rest will fall into place. That’s it!” He rushed back to her side and dropped into his chair.

“You must go back tonight!” he declared, putting his hand on her arm. She winced, recoiling deeper into her chair as if it might offer
protection. His odd behavior had caught her off guard and she was afraid.

“Go where?”

“To the garden. You must witness, tonight.”

“But—”

“Everyone is in their rooms. We can do this!”

“Do what? You haven’t told—”

“Wait, there is something else that you must do first.”

“What?” She was almost afraid to ask.

“You must look into the mirror again. It’s the only way.”

“I can’t, Simon, don’t make me do that, please.”

“Lilith.” He knelt before her chair and folded his hands on her knees. “Can’t you see? This is the only way. Not only will the mirror reinforce the truth of who you are and why you are here, it will empower you to be substantial and present in the garden. It will give you the ability to participate, to
do
something! It’s the mirror that empowers you to change things, to change history. You must trust it and what you see in it. Please!”

In a crazy sort of way, Simon was right. She had been more tangible in Eden after being stabbed by the mirror.

Wait—was it the mirror or the snakebite that had made this happen? Which had empowered her? She couldn’t recall Simon’s words exactly. Regardless, the mirror and snake seemed to be connected, so it probably didn’t matter. More important, she had made the decision to take control of her destiny as Lilith, and Simon was presenting a way to do just that.

“Okay, the mirror is still in my room in the dresser. But I’m not putting my hand in there.”

“I will get it for you.”

As he wheeled her toward her room, another question occurred to her. “Simon, did you take the ring and key?”

“No! I have no need of either one. I hardly even saw them.” He sounded certain and Lilly believed him.

Simon quickly found the mirror, still hidden in its covering, and handed it to Lilly. “How many times have you touched the stone?” he asked.

“Twice,” she responded. “That was enough.”

“Well tonight, you have to touch it three more times—not four, but not fewer than three.”

“Three times!” she exclaimed, and Simon put his finger to his mouth to quiet her. “Three times?” she whispered. “This thing really hurts.”

“Anything really worth doing is going to be painful,” he asserted.

“Great!” she muttered. “If that’s true, my whole life has been worth it.”

“Three times. Four is too many.”

“Simon, how do you know any of this? How do you know that I must look in the mirror to change history? How do you even know that four touches is too many?”

He hesitated. “My wife, Karyn, she touched it six times.”

Lilly dropped the mirror into her lap. “This thing killed your wife? And you want me to touch it? Are you crazy?”

“No, no, you have it all wrong. The mirror didn’t kill her, but it was with her the last time I saw her. When we found her, she was just a body with no one left inside. The real Karyn was gone, and she didn’t come back. She had pushed the stone six times.”

“And you expect me . . .”

“
What happened to Karyn has nothing to do with you. I warned her. I warned her that the mirror was not for her. She wasn’t a Witness. This mirror is for
you
! But now Karyn’s sacrifice means something. But because of her I now have answers for you. You are the Witness who can change things.”

Lilly slowly removed the mirror from its sheath and looked at it. As before, it was a swirling gray mass of shifting cloud, constantly moving but forming nothing.

“You said Karyn went to a better place.”

“I don’t know exactly where that is. When I see her in my dreams, she doesn’t know me but seems happy.”

Lilly held her right thumb above the red stone.

“Wait!” Simon commanded. Relieved, Lilly pulled back. “Remember three, not four. But if I understand how this works, three will be enough to give you authority to stay where you choose.”

“So if I choose to stay in Eden?”

“Then you would stay as long as you want and not return. That is how you would be enfolded into history and change the world.”

The sheer magnitude of what he had said took her breath away. Lilly didn’t want this power. But Lilith did.

It was Lilly who spoke. “Shouldn’t we tell John and the others?”

“We can’t. They would never allow you to take this risk. They are here to get what they need from you. ”

“And you, Simon, tell me again, what are you here for?”

“I am here to serve you, and if possible to find Karyn.”

Without another thought Lilith pushed her thumb down on the stone. Pain shot through her arm and into her shoulder, as if
she had grabbed an ember from a fire. The stone absorbed her blood and the surface of the glass began to change. She thrust her thumb a second time, and the pain traveled farther, all the way down her other arm and descending toward her legs. Lilly gasped but controlled herself. A third time she pressed the stone, and this time the pain was so intense she felt as if she were coming apart at her seams. The fire was everywhere, in her feet and in her hair, every nerve and brain cell in agony, so intense she couldn’t even scream.

Unable to resist, she looked into the glass. Looking back at her was the most hideous creature imaginable. Her face was rotting off, her eyes were yellow and oozing, her lips forming curses. She was looking at everything she feared most, a disgusting piece of damaged goods to be sold to the highest bidder. But behind the ugliness she could see the truth: she had never been deserving of real love; she was a mistake, an accident, a used-up piece of trash. Not good enough, not smart, not beautiful, and not even a woman. Strangely, that useless, shame-filled visage also gave her power.

She had nothing left to lose because she was nothing to begin with.

Placing the mirror in its sack, she handed it back to Simon, who quickly stashed it away.

“I am Lilith, and I’m ready,” she announced. “I won’t be coming back.”

“W
here
are we?” Lilith whispered to Han-el, though no one else could hear them.

“Inside Eden, near the center. Look,”—the Singer pointed a short distance toward three figures moving through the grass—“the one who is now two approaches, and with them is the serpent.”

“What’s that snake doing here?” she asked, but realized the answer. “Adam’s invitation?”

Han-el did not have to respond. As they approached, Lilith observed them closely, Eve especially. The young woman walked next to Adam confidently, slightly taller and darker than he, slim, fine-boned, and noble in her bearing. She too was naked except for the transparent light that was more like a glowing breeze billowing and cascading around her, attending every step and movement. The man looked hardly older, but his expression lacked presence. Even when he smiled, a hint of sadness tinged his eyes. Lilith had seen the same look in John’s eyes too, but John was not Adam.

“Han-el, one day you will be a Guardian.”

“
That would be an honor beyond all imagining. I hope that it will be you I serve.”

“It won’t be me, but someone who is . . . worthy!” She surprised herself by referring to John that way, but in the moment it felt true, despite Simon’s assertions.

Adam wasn’t returning the attention of the young woman, who obviously adored him. Eve had asked a question but Adam either did not hear or was purposely ignoring her. She repeated it but could not engage him until she touched him on the shoulder.

The serpent seemed larger today. It glided across the ground as if not even touching. Suddenly it stopped and swift as lightning disappeared into the forest. A moment later it reappeared directly in front of Lilith.

Han-el stepped forward but she motioned him away and held her ground as it approached. It wore a crown she had not seen before, with settings for twelve jewels, but Lilith could see that three of them were missing.

“Your crown?” she asked. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“A gift from Adam, for serving his dominion.”

Swaying back and forth, inches away, it scanned her top to bottom. The venom that burned within her responded to its presence, pulsating under her skin. Then it spoke.

“You don’t belong here,” it hissed.

“You don’t either,” she challenged.

“I am here by Adam’s invitation and he is king of all creation, son of God. You are one of Adam’s kind, the right place but wrong time. Who are you and why are you here?”

“My
name is Lilith, but I am no one. No one is here to stop you.”

“Riddles?” The serpent reared, then dropped toward her again. “Listen, little one, be careful where you step, and do not interfere.”

“Is that a threat?” She moved even closer.

“Not to you. You matter not at all.”

“I have nothing to lose,” retorted Lilith. “What can you take from me that has not already been stolen?”

“That matters not to me. I have no need of anything from you. You are nothing and no one.” With those words, the creature darted away, appearing once again behind Adam and Eve. The two had stopped at the edge of a meadow.

“Take me there,” she said to Han-el. “I need to hear what they are saying.”

Instantly she was standing feet away from the three, who were looking at a fig tree heavy with its fruit. The serpent looked straight at Lilith but spoke to Eve.

“Isha, did God speak directly to you and tell you, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’ ”

The question surprised Eve, and she glanced at Adam. Lilith knew from John’s reading that the conversation with God had been not hers but Adam’s. His gesture indicated she should answer.