Evan's Addiction (35 page)

     Another growl vibrated over my skin. “They were fucking morons.
You are so fucking perfect I can barely keep my hands off you. Every time I see
you all I can think about is getting you naked and spending hours worshiping
every inch of your body.”

     His hands molded my breasts and his thumbs rolled over my
distended nipples. My legs wobbled under me and I could barely stand on my feet
as waves of desire crashed over me.

     “Oh god…Evan.” I panted.

     I dug my fingers into the unyielding muscles of his biceps. But it
wasn’t enough, I wanted to feel more of him. My hands roamed higher to his
broad shoulders and dug in again, tugging him closer, and then I moved to
another area of his back, dug and tugged. Feeling his strength made the sexual
tension coil tighter in me.

     “Yeah, let me feel those nails, Red.” Lifting his head from my
neck his mouth took mine and he plundered my lips ruthlessly…greedily.

     One of his hands left my breast and lowered to grab my thigh.
Raising it he pressed his hardness into the juncture of my thighs, and began
rocking against my throbbing, weeping core. I kissed him back hungrily, getting
sucked under a tsunami of need. He was so delicious, his taste dark and salty,
his body hard and hot.

     My other leg was hanging down, barely touching the floor, so I
lifted it and hooked it around his hip. The counter was a nice support for my
butt. Groaning, he squeezed my breast roughly surging into me and my sex
contracted in delight and want.

     Abruptly, his mouth left mine and his hips stopped rocking.
No,
no, no
. Whimpering at the loss I curled my fingers in his hair forcing him
back to me. He assented, kissing me fiercely with a groan and giving one more
rock of his hips before breaking it off…again.

     I protested verbally this time. “Why..?” My body was one big
pulsing ache.

     His mouth was back in the crook of my neck breathing heavily. “In
five more seconds my hands will be down your pants and I want to take this
slower.” With one last soft squeeze to my breast his hand disappeared. 

     My body trembled in frustrated yearning. “Isn’t it too late for
that? We already had sex, and your hands were down my pants last night. Are you
planning on going backwards with this relationship?” I didn’t understand what
he was trying to accomplish with going slow when we’d already done the deed.

     Raising his head he expelled a breath and stared down at me with
hot, somber eyes. “Last night it had been forever since I’d touched you and I couldn’t
control myself. But Shaw, I want it to be clear in your head that I’m seeing
you for you and not just for sex. I think this is important for both of us.
Neither one of us has had a real relationship, going slow will cement something
between us that isn’t based on sex.”

     He’d said basically the same thing to me last night but I guess I
hadn’t accepted his words as genuine. People, and especially guys, said a lot
of things they don’t really mean.

     “You really want to wait?” My legs dropped back to the ground, and
an emotion I couldn’t define took root in my chest.

     A look of disgruntlement flickered across Evan’s face when my legs
fell away and his hands seized my rear holding me in place. “Actually, I want
you right now with every cell in my body.” He growled, causing tingles to
spread…everywhere. “But I’m willing to hold off so our relationship can be founded
on something real, something you won’t question. Especially since I screwed up
so badly last time.” He stroked a finger over my brow and gave me a regretful
look. “I’m still kicking my ass for not realizing you were a virgin, being too
rough, and for forgetting to use protection.”

     This was a road I really didn’t want to go down. That night was
still a sore spot for me. Shifting uneasily I plastered on a face of scornful
unconcern. “You weren’t rough, and I was more worried about STD’s.”

     A low growl emanated from his throat as he continued to stare down
at me penetratingly. “I’m clean, never gone without a condom before in my
life…before you. Please don’t throw up a blasé facade when I know you had to be
worried about a possible pregnancy as well. I’m sorry I caused you any concern
with any of that. I want you to know that I’m going to be more attentive to
your wellbeing from now on.”

     Intense, personal conversations weren’t my specialty and had me
gulping uneasily, but hearing him proclaim his concern so ardently and feeling
his hands stroking my back like he was attempting to soothe me had me focusing
more on that than my discomfort.

     I gave a nonchalant shrug. “I appreciate the apology, but
protection is a two way street.” Since Evan had apologized I could now accept
my part in the no protection fiasco. “Remember when I said I learn better by
example; well, I covered myself on any further pregnancies by going on the
pill.” I poked him in the chest. “And since I tested negative on diseases that
puts you in the free and clear.”

     His gaze searched mine intently for a moment and I wondered if he
realized he was still softly stroking my face. “You told me over the phone that
you would make certain you didn’t get pregnant; what did you do to make sure?”

     I couldn’t stop my brows from rising at that unexpected question.
“Why do you care; as long as I’m not pregnant?” 

     Evan’s brows lowered and I didn’t miss the clear displeasure on
his features. “I care because I don’t want you having any lingering…issues if
you had to do something you might not have wanted to in an effort to make sure
you weren’t going to end up pregnant.”

     “I took Plan B since I wasn’t on the pill at the time, and no…I’m
not having any
issues
from taking it. What kind of issues are you
talking about; like side effects?” I was confused by his line of questioning.

     Evan jerked me gently into him, his frown deepening. “I hadn’t
thought of that. Did you; are you?”

     I cocked my head. “Noooo, but thanks for asking.”

     I thought I detected a smidgen of relief in his features. “I’m
glad. Now what about psychological side effects? Did taking the Plan B go
against any…beliefs you have?”

    
Beliefs
? Was he talking about religious beliefs? I’d been
dealing with too many emotions at that time to reflect on my feelings on
terminating a possible pregnancy.

     “Uh…no, not really. I took it like an hour later so I didn’t feel
like I was…” I shrugged self-consciously. “You know…ending a life or anything.
If I found out I was pregnant two weeks later I don’t know what I would have
done, or felt.” I’m glad I hadn’t had to find out. 

     He pulled me flush against him, hugging me close. “That’s good to
hear too. I’ve been worried that you might be harboring with some heavy guilt
over what you might have had to do.”

     I stood immobile in his embrace processing his words. He’d been
worried this whole time about how I was dealing with terminating a possible pregnancy?
That was…well, I wasn’t sure what it was, but it made me feel really good
knowing he’d been concerned. Not too many people gave a shit about my feelings.

     “Hey, you didn’t finish your food. Are you still hungry? Do you
want to warm up your dinner and finish watching the rest of the movie?”

     Evan’s sudden topic change left me reeling a little. “Uh, no, I’m
done. You wouldn’t by chance want it, would you?” He’d eaten all his food but
I’d seen how much he could eat.

     “Only if you don’t want it.” He smirked.   

     “Go ahead Hover, but you’re going to have to let go of my butt.”

     “I don’t know, I thought I’d leave my hand there for the rest of
the night.” His brow rose like he was asking my permission.

     Chuckling, aching, I gave him a small push. “Sounds like you want
to make us both combust together.”    

     Giving me a wicked grin and one last squeeze he snagged my plate
and stepped over to the microwave. I stared at his butt as he walked away and
sighed in regret. Evan’s idea of going slow was sweet, but it was going to be
really hard to wait to see him naked again.

CHAPTER
SIXTEEN

EVAN

     It was Saturday and I’d set up a weekend of fun for Shaw. This was
our fifth date and all we’d been able to do up to his point was after work
dinner dates. With work and school both of us were pretty busy.

     Wednesday we’d spent another night at her apartment eating in
because Shaw said she had school work she’d needed to get done. Unsure if she
was attempting to pull away again I’d convinced her to allow me to come over
with takeout, something healthy, and my own school work. She’d hesitated at
first but eventually yielded.

     When we’d finished our course work we’d put in the second Harry
Potter movie, but instead of watching it we’d talked some more and then made
out for about twenty minutes. I’d almost busted a load in my pants but called
it quits before that happened. I’d already done that Monday and twice in one week
was twice too many. I’d gone home and jacked off as an alternative.

     Thursday had been similar to Wednesday, but on Friday I’d taken
her out for that dinner we’d missed on Tuesday. Shaw had worn the yellow dress
again since she only had the two. She’d seemed slightly embarrassed at having
to wear it again but I assured her she still looked great in it, and I hadn’t
been lying.

     The evening had been kind of tense and I could tell Shaw was ill
at ease sitting in the restaurant. I had thought taking her to an expensive
restaurant would be a step toward showing her how much she meant to me, but
she’d only been uncomfortable the entire time. It had reminded me how on edge
she’d been at Landon’s wedding and I’d realized that being around signs of
wealth made her feel out of place. At first I’d thought it was because she was
unused to it, but then I recalled several of the critical remarks she’d made
about being trailer trash.

     It had taken all my control to keep my wrath buried. Shaw deserved
the best; deserve to be spoiled. The people in her life had really done a
number on her, ripping her self-worth to shreds. She cultivated this tough
exterior, but deep inside I could see that there was a little girl starving for
love and acceptance.

     During the dinner I’d tried my best to make her comfortable and
forget where she was, and I’d even gotten a few chuckles from her, but when
we’d left I didn’t miss the huge sigh she’d expelled. She’d been relieved to
get out of there. 

     This weekend I had something more casual planned. Last night after
dinner while Shaw had changed out of her dress I’d called Landon, who’d just
gotten back from his honeymoon, for a favor, and then after several more texts
I’d made plans for a bunch of us to go to Virginia Beach to spend the weekend
at the McKay’s beach home. It was a place many of us had gone before because
Landon used to have parties there all the time, but Shaw had never been there
yet.

     When she’d come back out I’d informed her of the plans, omitting
my part in them. She’d been uncertain at first, but I’d pressured her with
kisses and just the right amount of pleading, and eventually she’s caved.

     So here I was, eight o’clock in the morning, knocking on her
apartment, ready to get Shaw to the beach, in a bathing suit, and having fun.
I’d made it my mission to bring more fun into her life, because the girl had
been hiding herself away too long. During our talks I’d ascertained that Carrie
and David were her only true friends. Nic had worked his way into her life as
an ally, but I wanted her to start considering all my friends hers as well.

     The door opened and Nic stood there in shorts and a t-shirt, the
same as me, but sporting a smirk. “Well, if it isn’t, Mr. Calendar.”

     Scowling at the thought of Shaw hearing that I pushed past him and
glanced around. Seeing that she wasn’t in the room I snapped. “Says Mr. Pussy
Whipped.”

     He closed the door not losing his smirk. “Better rethink how you
say that, it could end up being your new name pretty soon. I mean, look how
quickly you threw together this weekend for Shaw.”

     “It wasn’t just for her.” I disputed, and I had no problem lying
to him. “The weather’s great and a day at the beach was called for.”

     He ambled past me waving his hand and laughing. “Denial is reeking
from you.” Before I could say anything to that he moved on to another subject.
“Hey, did you and Shaw want to hitch a ride with me and Carrie?”

     “Nope.” I answered resolutely. I wanted to spend as much time
alone with Shaw as I could. My swift response had Nic glancing back at me in
surprise, and then amusement. “Sounds like that name change isn’t far off.”

     “I’m just looking forward to driving my Camaro.” I justified.

     “So Carrie and I could go with you instead.” Nic smirked and
raised his eyebrow.

     “Nope.” I repeated.

     Nic snorted.

     The subject of name changes had me remembering Shaw’s name change
and that put a shadow on my good mood. I can’t believe someone had actually
named her Patty McDonald. I really wanted to find that person and strangle them
slowly.

     “How are things going between the two of you; still slow?” Nic
broke me from my homicidal thoughts. He walked into the kitchen to grab a glass
of chocolate milk sitting on the counter.

     I stepped up to the counter separating the kitchen from the
living. “Slow and torturous, but good.” With a quick glance down the hallway to
make certain it was clear I leaned over the counter and whispered. “How in the
hell did you do it? It’s only been a few days and I’m barely holding onto my
control. Shaw just has to touch my arm and it’s like a direct link to my dick.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.” I knew Nic had gone weeks without
having sex with Carrie and I needed some advice.