Essence of Desire (11 page)

***

They stripped naked the moment they entered his home. Robert wasn’t sure who took off what, or what speed in which it was done. All he knew was that he couldn’t wait to take her into his bedroom, so he pushed her back on the sofa instead.

His jeans had been uncomfortably tight on the drive from the airport with too much of him pressing against his zipper with a need to be released. Now, no longer confined, his erection was eager to meet its target. But first, his tongue ached for her taste.

Her womanly scent seemed to flow all around him, causing him to want to skim his tongue in her for a mere lick. Several. He inched downward to kiss her belly and then moved lower until he came to the folds of her mound. His hands slid beneath her hips and lifted her up slightly to bring her closer to the fit of his mouth. The moment the two connected, he thrust his tongue inside of her while the grip he had on her thighs kept her locked to his mouth.

And then he began tasting her in a way he had thought about all week, feeling the way her hot body tingled with pleasure, nearly inflaming his tongue. Her flavor aroused his tongue even more, made it greedier, desperate, yet taking her in a slow, thorough and intense intimate kiss. He heard her moan and instead of letting up, he began sucking harder.

He knew the moment an orgasm struck her, felt it in the way her hips trembled, the way her juices flowed, and in the way she fought back her scream. But instead of letting up, he held on, refusing to let her go until he’d gotten his fill. He wanted her to see that she was a woman in the hands of a man who definitely knew what he was doing.

And speaking of hands...

Hers were clutching at his head, and then his shoulders. Her hips lifted off the sofa and the sensations flowing through her shook him to the core. He felt them. He tasted them. And before the last one left her body, he pulled back, eased up, and positioned his body over hers, right in the perfect spot between her legs. He then entered her.

Roxie let out the scream she’d held in before as he began riding her; and with each and every thrust downward, she arched her body upward toward his. They were totally in sync, connected in a perfect fit.

When an orgasm hit, Robert felt he had truly lost control. Blown to smithereens by an explosion of gigantic proportions. It was only when he felt the way his release was coating her insides did he realize he hadn’t used a condom. But at the moment he was too wrapped up in pleasure to do anything but continue to flood her insides with his warmth. Still making love to her, thrusting in and out of her, all through their orgasm.

“Robert!”

They clung to each other as another orgasm, the intensity of which seemed to shake the house, bore down on them. And when he leaned his mouth to hers, to connect their lips, he knew this was only the beginning, he planned on making love to her every chance he got this weekend and when they were too tired to do anything else, they would fall asleep in each others arms.

***

Roxie slowly opened her eyes. She breathed in deeply when she shifted her gaze upward to see a pair dark of eyes staring down at her. She couldn’t help but smile. “Hi.”

He smiled back slightly and returned her greeting. “Hi.”

Immediately she knew something was wrong and shifted her body to sit up in the bed. She ran a hand down her face. She felt a mess and her body was sore. She probably looked a mess as well. How many times had they made love? In which rooms? They had started off on the sofa and she even remembered being placed on his kitchen table at some point. Had that really been the case or had she imagined it?

“Roxie?”

She swallowed, again getting the feeling that something was wrong. “Yes, Robert, what is it?”

“One of the times we made love last night, I didn’t use a condom. Are you on some type of birth control?”

She averted her gaze momentarily from his, understanding the reason for his concern. She returned her gaze to his and slowly, shook her head. “No. I went off the pill after my divorce. I hadn’t been sexually active again until you.”

He nodded. “No matter what, I take full responsibility.”

For them to be discussing it meant only one thing. He didn’t want to get her or any woman pregnant. Her heart sank deep against her rib cage. She’d put the thought of ever having a child to the back of her mind. And now that there was a possibility, the father of said child didn’t want it or her.

She took a deep breath and made a move to crawl over him to get out of bed. He caught hold of her arm. “Where are you going?”

“To get dressed so you can take me to the drug store.”

He stared at her for a moment as if confused before asking. “Why?”

She bit her bottom lips a few times before finally saying. “So I can make a purchase.”

Evidently he was still confused and asked. “What kind of purchase?”

She stared up into his eyes and said. “The morning after pill.”

***

Robert could only stare at her. First of all, he had never, ever had this sort of conversation with a woman because he’d never been careless enough not to put on a condom before making love. That had been an unacceptable act before tonight. So how had he let something like that happen?

He knew without even thinking much about it. He had wanted her with an intensity that had taken his breath away, with a hunger that had been down in his bones. When she had walked off the plane, wearing the cutest little short dress he’d ever seen, it had taken all he could do not to find an excuse to get her back on the plane and make love to her then and there. It had been a challenge getting her to his place in one piece and undressed. But the moment he had let her inside he hadn’t spared any mercy.

And now because of him she could be pregnant. With his child.

The possibility of that hit him like a ton of bricks. It was her body to do as she pleased, but did he want her to take something that could prevent a pregnancy now? He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

He glanced over at her as she left the bedroom, headed for the living room to get her clothes off the floor that were scattered about. There was a chance she wasn’t even pregnant since he knew that conception usually didn’t take place right away in most cases. But what if it had?

Had it been any other woman, he wouldn’t hesitate to take her to the nearest drug store, the sooner the better. But this wasn’t any other woman. This was Roxie. And the thought that a pregnancy could result from their lovemaking overwhelmed him in a way he hadn’t thought was possible. He couldn’t very well ask her to take a chance and do nothing at all if an unplanned pregnancy was a risk she really didn’t want to take.

And why would she? Why would he?

He suddenly knew the answer to the latter. He loved her. With every strength of his entire being. And he wanted her to have his baby. If not this time, then one day.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed when she came back into the room with her clothes and overnight bag. He turned to her before she went into the bathroom. “Can we talk about this?”

She glanced over at him with a confused look on her face. “What’s there to talk about?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. He knew he had no right to be angry or upset, but he was. Not putting on a condom had been his screw up and he took full responsibility. It was her body to do with as she pleased. But…

He stood and faced her. “I don’t like the idea of you taking that pill.”

She stared up at him. “Why not?”

He said the first thing that came to his mind. “I heard it’s not safe.”

She rolled her eyes upward. “I’ve heard differently.”

“And what if it’s not,” he countered.

“I’ll take my chances.”

“And what if I don’t want you to?”

Roxie blinked up into Robert’s eyes, not believing they were having this conversation. If it was any other man she would quickly put him in his place by saying she didn’t give a flip what he wanted since it was her body. But this was Robert, the man she secretly loved, the man whose baby could be growing inside of her this minute. And the thought of doing anything to destroy that possibility was almost too much for her.

Still naked, she dropped down on the side of the bed. “Is there a reason why, Robert?”

Robert stared at her for a second, opened his mouth to say, no there wasn’t a reason and then he closed it shut. He had to be honest with her, especially when there was a reason and he hoped she would hear him out. Naked as well, he dropped down on the bed beside her.

“Yes, using a condom is one thing to prevent a pregnancy. The same holds true with a birth control pill. And I would have been okay with us doing either or even both. And I know that technically, the morning after pill is no different in that it’s supposed to prevent a pregnancy if taken within a set number of hours after making love. I also know it’s not supposed to end a pregnancy if one has already taken place. But still, I personally don’t like the idea of you taking something like that when I would want you to have my baby.”

Roxie took a deep breath as hope sprang to life inside of her. Because of Robert’s relationship with CJ, she knew he loved children. She’d heard countless times from Cinnamon how good he was with his godson. How much CJ simply adored him and vice versa? But that didn’t explain why he would want her to have his baby.

“Why would you want me to have your baby, Robert?” she had to ask.

He reached out and took her hand in his. “Because although being careless was not intentional, I still can’t get pass the fact that a chance exists that if we don’t do anything, a part of me that I planted inside of you last night could result in a pregnancy. My baby. Your baby. Our baby. And if the possibility exists that the woman I love could end up pregnant with my child, I’ll willing to take the chance and see because I want-”

“What?” she said, interrupting his words and tightening her hand in his. “Say that part again.”

“What part?”

“The part about the possibility that exists,” she said softly.

“You mean the part where I said I loved you?” he asked smiling.

“Yes.”

His smile widened. “I do love you. For the two of us to be sitting on this bed having this conversation proves that. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have been so careless, no matter how much I wanted you. I’ve never spilled myself inside of any woman before. There’s no woman whose body I’d go inside of without wearing a condom. I wouldn’t want any woman that much. But I did with you only because I wanted you
that
much. I love you.”

Tears appeared in Roxie’s eyes. “And I love you too. I think I’ve always loved you. And I do want your baby one day. If not this time then when we decide.”

Robert couldn’t say anything. He was still digesting the part where she’d admitted to loving him, too. This woman was everything he wanted and needed. First she’d given him a makeover, and now she was giving him her love. “And you’re willing to take a chance on the possibility of a baby, with me?”

She nodded as more tears came from her eyes. “Yes. If what we did last night caused me to get pregnant then it was meant to be and I’d want our baby.”

He pulled her into his arms. “So, no morning after pill?”

“Yes, no morning after pill.”

Moments later after holding her, he released her and gazed up into her eyes. “If we didn’t make a baby this time, then definitely later. I’m not getting any younger, neither are my parents. They want a grandchild. I want to give them one. But first, I want to give them a daughter-in-law.”

He chuckled and added. “One that I know they will be pleased with. Overjoyed.”

Roxie threw herself into his arms. He’d let her know that he not only wanted her to have his child one day, but that he wanted to marry her. She knew in her heart that her marriage with him would be different from the one she’d shared with Darrin.

Robert then said they needed to talk and proceeded to tell her about the woman named Mariah and how what she’d done had made him leery of indulging in casual affairs like he once had.

After he was finished, she shared with him things about Darrin, information she hadn’t shared with anyone as to the extent of the mental abuse he had begun putting her through and how he’d once raised a hand to her. That had been the warning that it was time for her to put an end to her marriage.

They knew they still had a lot more to talk about, but when his mouth came down on hers and he lowered her down into the bed, she knew they would talk again later. They had time. They had the rest of their lives.

A year later

Colt grinned over at Robert. “I thought my wedding was huge but yours takes the icing off the cake, literally. There are a lot of people out there. Probably the entire town.”

Robert chuckled, not surprised. It had taken him and Roxie a year to get to this day and he didn’t care if the entire town of Summerlin had shown up. A second marriage or not, Roxie had wanted a wedding, something she’d been cheated out of when she and Darrin had eloped.