Escaping Reality (Hart Ranch Book 1) (9 page)

~ ~ ~

A
ddison followed Logan up the rugged trail as questions fogged her brain. What did he want to show her way up here? He was so mysterious and hard to read. Like when she asked about Sam in the barn. Her question had obviously struck a nerve and it made her curious but she didn’t want to push him to talk about it. If he wanted her to know he would have told her.

“Almost there. Only about five more minutes,” he called from up ahead.

“Okay.” Addison cleared her mind and concentrated on the trail ahead. At least she’d picked a better horse this time. Willow wasn’t as pretty as Skipper but calm and gentle.

Logan led her to a clearing with a small cabin nestled back by the trees. Then he helped her down and tied the horses. “Here, come quickly or we’ll miss it.”

She followed and soon they were standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the entire ranch. The sun dipped further behind the tree line, creating a stunning golden hue over the land. “Wow. It’s breathtaking.”

Logan nodded. “This is my favorite place in the world.”

“Well, I can see why. You can’t beat this view.” She glanced behind them. “Is that your cabin?”

He shrugged. “It’s kind of on loan you might say. My grandpa used to live up here, but when his health started getting worse he moved into my parents’ house. When I came back from college he said I could use it.” Logan’s eyes took on a nostalgic gleam. “I prefer the seclusion and it’s peaceful up here. When I was a kid, my brother and I used to camp out up here too.” He chuckled. “We’d stay up late and eat junk food. Sometimes we got a little carried away making up ghost stories by the campfire and ended up bunking with Gramps in the cabin for the night.”

She smiled, picturing the scene in her mind. “Sounds like you and your brother were close as children.”

Logan rubbed his chin. “Yeah. We were best friends. He was born deaf so we grew up using sign language with each other.”

She hid her surprise. Everything was starting to make sense now. “So that’s why you’re so good at communicating with Dylan.”

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s kind of like another first language to my whole family. When Nathan and I were kids some people in town treated us differently because of it. They thought it was weird I guess. But it drew us closer, like it was a secret code between us or something.”

She furrowed her brow. “Where’s your brother now? Is he away on business or something?”

He hung his head and gulped hard, telling Addison that she’d hit another nerve. “No, um Nathan…he died. It was a car accident…about four months ago.”

She gasped and clamped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, Logan. I’m so sorry.”

He sighed. “It’s all right. It’s been hard on our family. Most of all on Ava and Dylan. But we’ll get through it.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. We were supposed to be enjoying the sunset and I’m probably bumming you out.”

“No, I’m glad you told me. I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about.” Addison paused, wondering how much information she should share with a man she’d just met but the sincerity in Logan’s eyes made her continue. “My stepmom passed away from cancer a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Were you close?”

“Yeah, she always treated me like her biological daughter.” She paused and kicked at some pebbles on the ground. “Anyway, our family took a long time to heal after her passing. My half-sister…she rebelled, got in with the wrong crowd that introduced her to some bad things. It got so bad we were worried she’d harm herself. My dad checked her into a rehab facility for a while. Really it turned out to be the best thing for her.”

“So she’s doing better now?”

She nodded and gulped hard. “It’s taken a while but she’s back on the right track. She’s starting college next week actually. I’m so proud of her. She wants to be a photographer.”

“Well I’m happy to hear that.”

Addison gave him a shy smile. “You’re the first person I’ve ever told about her struggles, besides family.”

“I’m glad you did. The way you talk about your sister shows me the kind of person you are. You have a good heart, Addie.”

She looked up as the setting sun highlighted Logan’s handsome face. His sky blue eyes held a deep longing that took her by surprise.

She leaned closer, swept up in the moment.

Static blared through the radio, jolting them back to reality.

Logan unclipped the radio from his belt and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Repeat?”

Belle’s voice came through this time. “Dad needs you right away. Mom’s taken a bad fall.”

Logan’s face lost its color. “I’ll be right there.”

~ ~ ~

Logan made it down the path to the ranch in record time. To his surprise, Addie had no problem keeping up with his rampant pace and remained at his side when he entered his parents’ house.

His dad met him in the hallway with bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry, son. I didn’t mean to frighten you. She’s resting now, but I wanted you to check her over just in case.”

“Oh, I’m so relieved.” Logan gulped back his emotions and gave his father a hug. Then he headed into the bedroom.

His mother’s face looked a little pale and she had a bruise on her forehead. Other than that she seemed to be all right.” She held out her hand. “Logan…you’re pale as a ghost. Come here.”

He sat in the chair beside the bed and held her hand. “What happened?”

She managed a weak chuckle and pushed some brown curls out of her face. “It was nothing really. I slipped while trying to get into my wheelchair. I fell flat on my face.”

“You should have called me or Dad on the radio. I could have helped you into the wheelchair before I went up the mountain.”

She frowned and shook her head. “I’m so tired of feeling like a burden to everyone. Your father already tiptoes around me like I’m a fragile porcelain doll. Did you know he still insists on sleeping in the guest room?”

Logan shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

She sighed and crossed her arms. “Anyway, you shouldn’t have to be on call all the time. You’ve got your own life to lead…and a new love interest I’ve noticed. She’s beautiful.”

Logan blushed. “You don’t miss a thing, do you?”

She patted his cheek. “Nothing that passes by my window anyway. How pathetic does that sound?”

He frowned. “Mom, you don’t have to stay in this lonely room all the time. Even the specialist said that fresh air and sunshine would do you a world of good.”

Her violet eyes darkened. “We’ve discussed this already. Going outside will just remind me of all the things I can no longer do. If I can’t ride my horses or do anything useful, I’m staying right here.”

A rogue tear dripped down Logan’s cheek, hearing the despair in her voice. The mother he knew used to be so spunky and full of life. Now she seemed to be withering away. He shook his head, refusing to let that happen. “I’m not going to let you give up hope. You’ll walk again one day. I know it. Are you still having the tingling sensation in your legs?”

She nodded, grimacing. “Yes, every day. It’s enough to make me want to scream.”

“It could be a sign of healing. We’ll ask the specialist on Monday.”

She turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. “I wish you’d cancel the appointment, Logan. This isn’t the life I want. A life without Nathan…” Her voice cracked. “I just can’t imagine being happy ever again without him. I can’t.”

He held his breath for a moment until the torrent of emotions passed. “I believe in you, Mom and I’ll never give up. I’ll believe enough for both of us.” He stood and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you.” He walked out of her room, wiping away unwanted tears. There had to be some way to help. He wouldn’t rest until he found a way.

Addie sat with his family in the living room. She stood when he approached and her eyes filled with concern. “Is your mom okay?”

He nodded. “Yes, I think she will be.”

After some small talk his family members excused themselves and headed off down the hall to their bedrooms.

Logan sat with Addie on the couch in silence and picked up a small photo album on the coffee table. He numbly flipped through the pages. Most of the photos were taken during trail rides and competitions his mom and sister had been in.

Addie scooted closer to him and pointed to one of the older photos. “Is that your mom?”

He nodded and smiled, seeing his mom all decked out in one of her fancy riding outfits. “She used to love barrel racing. I think she was a little bit older than Belle is now. My parents were still newlyweds.”

He flipped the page and gulped, seeing a picture of his mom and Nathan outside by her garden.

“Are you okay?”

He sighed. “Yes. It’s just painful seeing pictures of my brother and mom together. Four months ago they were traveling into town for supplies and got hit head on by another driver. The truck flipped. I drove up on the scene.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Logan gritted his teeth as the scene replayed in his mind. “All my medical training was useless. I couldn’t save Nathan. He died on the scene and my mom…she’s paralyzed from the waist down.” He looked away and reined in his emotions.

She touched his shoulder. “Logan, you can’t blame yourself. I’m sure that you did everything in your power to help them.”

Her words melted his strong resolve and he turned toward her again with tears stinging his eyes. “I-I just wish I could at least do something to help with my mother’s recovery. I can’t stand seeing her suffer like this.” Logan’s voice cracked and his body shook so violently that he could hardly breathe.

“It’s all right,” Addie whispered and hugged him. Her sweet voice soothed him as she continued to whisper words of comfort.

After a few moments he composed himself and sat back, wiping his moist cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall apart in front of you.”

Addie’s beautiful jade eyes filled his vision as she caressed the side of his face with her fingertips. “You love your family. That’s nothing to apologize for.”

She was so close that the scent of her strawberry lip gloss toyed with his senses. All his thoughts blurred as she leaned closer and their lips met. For a brief moment, nothing else mattered—nothing except how wonderful it felt to kiss her.

Then she pulled away and bit her lip. “Logan, I’m sorry.”

He tried not to smile but failed miserably. “Well, I’m not. That kiss was amazing.”

She shook her head and stood. “No. It was impulsive and wrong of me. That’s what it was. I never learn my lesson.”

His mind filled with questions as he reached for her hand. “Addie, I don’t understand.”

She pulled away and backed toward the door. “It’s late and I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Addie wait,” he pleaded but she left without another word.

~ ~ ~

W
hen was the last time she had attended a church service? Addison tried to remember as she pulled a nice blouse and dark pants out of her suitcase. It was probably a few years ago. Her stepmom used to invite her to come with the family every Easter. After she passed away Addison hadn’t made much of an effort to go.

However, Belle had asked so nicely the day before that she couldn’t turn down the invitation. At least it was better than being alone all morning.

Addison dressed and studied her outfit one last time before making her way outside. Belle met her by the corral and they walked toward a small open-air chapel past the cabins. “Do you have a service here every Sunday?”

Belle nodded. “Yes. When it’s warm out we have one for our guests outside. That way they don’t have to travel long distances to find a church. In the winter things are a little simpler though. We don’t have guests so we meet inside my parents’ house.”

“Was it hard to find a pastor willing to travel out here every Sunday?”

Her friend chuckled. “Didn’t you know? The pastor lives here. You talk to him almost every day by the creek.”

Addison furrowed her brow but as they reached the chapel she understood Belle’s amused response. Her new fly-fishing friend smiled from behind the makeshift pulpit and waved them over.

Her eyes widened as she glanced back at Belle. “Gramps? Gramps is a pastor?”

Her friend chuckled again. “Well, technically he’s retired but he’s kind enough to lead our little services here.”

She shook her head as they entered the little structure and picked seats in the center of the third row. “Your family’s just full of surprises, aren’t they?”

“Yep. We sure are.”

Addie took in her surroundings. The chapel was beautiful in a simple way with exposed wooden beams overhead and a wooden cross hanging at the front. Then she furrowed her brow. Where was the piano? It seemed odd to have a church service with no musical instruments.

Logan appeared by their row out of nowhere and motioned toward the empty spot beside her. “Is this seat taken?”

She shook her head but avoided eye contact as he sat beside her. She’d done her best to avoid him yesterday. It wasn’t that she regretted the kiss. Addison just didn’t want to fall for someone so soon after Jared. It wouldn’t be fair to Logan, especially since he didn’t know her real identity.

Thirty seconds later Colton took his place next to Belle, who blushed cherry red. Had the guys planned this? It seemed perfectly coordinated. Addison didn’t have much time to think about it though. After everyone else filed in, Gramps started the service with a prayer. Then he nodded to Belle and she walked to the front. Addison was puzzled until her friend grabbed a hymnal from the pulpit.

“Please turn with me to page 205.”

Addison found a hymnal under her chair and turned to the correct page. She did her best to follow along and stay in tune. Belle on the other hand had the voice of an angel and sang a cappella without a problem. Logan’s deep voice beside her didn’t sound half bad either.

After they sang a few hymns Belle took her seat again. Then Gramps stood behind the pulpit and started his message. “If you’ve ever been on a long trip you understand how difficult it is to make sure to bring what you need. My wife Annabelle used to make detailed checklists.” He chuckled. “Once I think she got carried away and packed the family dog on accident.”

Everyone laughed including Addison and he went on with his lighthearted story.

“Now who had to carry all these carefully packed bags?” Gramps eyes darted back and forth and then he pointed to himself. “That’s right. I did.”

He went on for several minutes and Addison enjoyed his storytelling ability. His sermons were just as laid back as their conversations by the creek. She listened carefully as he made parallels to everyday life and how people can get weighed down with invisible baggage too.

“If you feel weighed down or discouraged today I’d like to let you in on a little secret,” Gramps said. “You don’t have to carry all that baggage around by yourself. In Mathew 11:28, Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’ You see, He took all our burdens…all our sins on his shoulders.”

As he continued with the message, Addison thought about all the stress and worry she was caught up in. She’d tried so hard to escape from her problems by leaving the city but really they followed her here too. The secrets she’d been keeping from the Hart Family were eating her alive. It would be nice to be free from it all.

After the service ended she followed the little group out of the chapel and started back to her cabin. She needed time to sort out her frazzled thoughts and an afternoon nap sounded heavenly too.

“Addie, wait up,” Logan called from behind her.

She stopped with a small groan and turned to face him. “If this is about the other night…”

He put his hand up to stop her. “Just hold on a second. Can I do the talking this time?”

She pursed her lips, trying not to smile. She’d often been told by her family that she talked too much. “Sure. Go ahead.”

“What happened between us the other night made me think. Maybe we moved a little too fast. So let’s take a step back. Learn to be friends first.”

She crossed her arms and fiddled with the hem of her sleeve. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Let’s talk and get to know each other a little better. That’s what friends do right?”

Addison grinned. “I guess so. Would you like to find time tomorrow?”

“Well, unfortunately I’ll be leaving in the morning with my parents. My mom has an appointment with the specialist. It’s quite a drive so we’ll be gone overnight. How about a friendly picnic this afternoon?”

Addison managed a nervous chuckle. “Okay, a friendly picnic it is.”

~ ~ ~

An hour later Addison and Logan sat on a blanket spread out by the creek. She took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and washed it down with some water. “This is really good.”

Logan grinned at her and took his cowboy hat off, revealing his dark wavy hair. “Well, I can’t really take the credit. Belle made these. It’s her specialty. She makes homemade peanut butter and mixes in some wild honey that she buys from a woman in town.”

As if on cue, Belle rode her horse bareback across the valley. She smiled at them for a moment, curls blowing untamed in the breeze. Then Colton rode up from behind. When Belle saw him she giggled and urged her horse into a gallop. Catching her unspoken challenge to race, he took off after her.

Addison chuckled to herself as they disappeared behind some rolling hills. “What’s the story with Belle and Colton?”

Logan lounged back and rested one elbow on the blanket. He suppressed a grin like it was a huge secret. “Oh, Colton started working here when he was a teenager. After his dad died while fighting a forest fire he needed to help provide for his mom and sisters. He’s been smitten with Belle since they first met but he’s too shy to say anything. I think he feels like he’s not good enough for her or something.”

She furrowed her brow. “I’m surprised Belle hasn’t taken charge. She’s so outgoing.”

“Yeah, my parents raised us both old-fashioned though. She wouldn’t say a word about their relationship unless Colton does first.”

“Belle’s one of a kind, isn’t she?”

He nodded. “Yes. My dad always calls her his surprise lily.”

“What’s that?”

“Flowers that randomly bloom at the end of the summer. They just pop up out of nowhere. That’s our Belle. She’s six years younger than I am. A complete surprise to my parents when they found out my mom was pregnant with her.”

Addison smiled but it faded as she picked some clovers growing past the edge of the blanket. “I worry about her a little…wanting to run this ranch all by herself. She’s so sweet and innocent. I’d hate to see her get hurt. I know firsthand how cruel life can be.”

He peeked up at her. “What happened to you?”

She looked down and stalled by taking another bite of her sandwich and chasing it down with a gulp of water. She wasn’t ready to reveal her entire story all at once but maybe part of it would satisfy his curiosity for now. “My family is wealthy.” She shrugged and managed a shy grin. “It has its perks, but when it comes to love…I guess I have bad luck. Most guys that I meet act nice at first, but in the end they’re just interested in my family’s money.”

“I’m sorry, Addie. You deserve so much better than that.”

She squinted up at the puffy clouds in the sky. “What I really need is to become a better judge of character. You see, I’m supposed to be on my honeymoon right now.”

His eyes widened and he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Your honeymoon?”

Addison let out a bitter chuckle. “Yes. At the wedding rehearsal, my sister snapped a picture of my fiancé kissing the wedding coordinator.”

Logan shook his head and frowned. “Well,
he
sounds like a classy guy. So is that why you needed to escape and ended up out here?”

“You guessed it.” She sighed and met his gaze, trying to decipher how he felt about the bombshell she had just thrown him. “So now you understand why I felt bad about our kiss the other night. I only broke up with my fiancé the day before I ended up here.”

A shadow passed over his face. “I guess you must be reluctant to trust a man again.”

She nodded and outlined the seams on the blanket with her finger. “I guess you could say that.”

“I completely understand if you’re not willing to risk it. You deserve a good man. Someone who will love you with all his heart and give you all the things you deserve.” He looked down and cleared his throat. “A man much better than me.”

Addison frowned, hoping she hadn’t given him the wrong impression. “Logan,
you’re
a good man.”

He picked at a few blades of grass near the edge of the blanket. “I don’t feel like it sometimes. Everyone I care about always seems to get hurt.”

Addison’s heart thundered in her chest as she scooted next to him and lifted his chin with her index finger. She waited to speak until his sky blue eyes met hers. “You’re so different from any man I’ve ever met. So honest and genuine. It scared me at first. I guess I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but in the past week I’ve felt something between us. Something new and wonderful.”

His eyes lit up. “Me too, but when you left in such a hurry the other night I didn’t know what to think. I thought maybe I did something wrong.”

Addison shook her head. “No, it wasn’t your fault at all. I’m sorry I didn’t explain. It’s just, with my last relationship I morphed into a person I didn’t recognize. A chameleon you might say. I packed away part of my heart and pretended to be someone I wasn’t just to please my fiancé.”

“And now?”

She paused to take in the gentle sloping hills and wildflowers. The beauty of it all made her breath catch in her chest. She exhaled and let out a nervous laugh. “Now…since I’ve come to this place, a piece of my heart that has been dormant for so long is starting to awaken. I think part of it has to do with meeting you.”

Logan remained silent but the look in his eyes communicated what was in his heart very clearly.

Addison leaned her face closer to him—almost giving in to her weakness. Then she hesitated and sat back. “I’m sorry. My life is a jumbled mess right now. I think I just need some time to sort all this out before starting a new relationship.”

He smiled and took her hand in his. “Well, I’ll wait for you Addie. However long it takes, because you’re worth the wait.”