Enzo (Jinx Tattoos Book 1) (9 page)

“Look down, now,” he demanded.

She blinked and turned her gaze downward. Her walls flexed around him.

“Whose dick are you taking?”

“Yours,” she cried.

“What’s my name, Aibhlinn?”

“Enzo,” she screamed.

He pulled out. “Get up on your knees.”

She scrambled into position, and he pushed inside of her. She wrapped her arm around his waist, meeting him stroke for stroke; he cupped her breast, pinching and rolling. “You like this big dick? Ave?”

“Yes, fuck yes.”

“Show me, come on my cock.” He moved his hand down to flick her clit, moving faster. The bed rocked, her walls tightened and her back arched. He sank his teeth into her shoulder. Her body shook and the pulsing of her pussy drew him over the edge with her as she milked him dry.

It felt like a dream. She lay tucked beneath Enzo’s arm unable to sleep as she basked in his warmth and scent. All these years had led up to one explosive joining. His breathing was deep and even. She craned her neck to get a better look at him. He appeared almost innocent in the early morning light. This was more than she’d ever dreamt. Her heart swelled with happiness, and her well-used pussy all but hummed with fresh desire. The man made her feel things she’d never experienced before. Easing away from him, she worked the sheet down over his hips and admired his frame. Golden skin covered well formed muscles, and the map of tattoos told a story. She trailed her nails down his chest, circling his nipples. They hardened, and he moaned in his sleep. She climbed over his body, straddling his hips as she placed her mouth to his chest, and she manipulate the hardened peaks on his pecs. His cock was at half-mast. She gripped his base, and took him into her mouth, coaxing him to life. His cock grew in her mouth, and she relaxed her jaw and throat to take him deep.

His hands slipped into her hair and pulled the strands tautly. “So good,” he croaked.

The tension on her scalp and the husky praise from Enzo had her wet. She bobbed her head, moving her hand up and down in opposition to her mouth. He was masculine, salty, and addicting. She hollowed her cheeks and increased her speed, twisting her wrist.

“Ave, Ave,” he chanted her name as his cock twitched in her mouth.

When she hummed, he pulled her head down and fucked her mouth. Her eyes watered and her throat took the pounding like a champ. She timed her breaths between thrusts, loving the way he claimed and used her. She had a naughty streak a mile long and curiosity about things she could only explore with this man.

His dick twitched and went impossibly hard. He released a hot stream into her mouth as he grunted her name.

She swallowed it down, choking slightly.

He released his death grip, and she sat back on her knees, grinning as she pushed the escaped liquid into her mouth. His limbs twitched, and he pulled her up to his side, burying his fingers in her hair. Thrusting his tongue into her mouth, he kissed her breathless.

The desire and the love visible in his eyes melted her into a metaphorical puddle of goo.

They parted for air, and he kissed her forehead. “Love you, Ave,” he whispered, pulling her to his side.

“And I love you,” she whispered back as her heart sang. There was a rightness to being here like this with him.

Enzo nudged her neck with his nose, inhaling her scent. His arm held her tight to him. “Now we sleep, so we can wake up and have round three.”

His warmth and his promise lulled her to sleep.

The bed rocked back and forth, rousing her from sleep. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and peered over at Enzo.

Sweat ran down his forehead, as he tossed from side to side.

He’s having a nightmare.
“Enzo. Enzo,” she called, careful not to touch him.

His eyes popped open, but she wasn’t sure he was seeing her. He stared at a point in the distance she couldn’t see.

“Enzo?”

His head jerked to the side, and he stared through her.

“Enzo, it’s okay, you’re here with me.”

He stumbled from the bed, backing away like a feral child afraid of humans.

Her heart wrenched.
Is this what he goes through alone?
Unsure what to do, she remained still.

Enzo glanced to the left and right, locked in a nightmare that only he could see. He moved to the corner where he crouched down and wrapped his arms around his knees.

Her stomach twisted. “Enz?”

He buried his head in his arms, refusing to respond.

She licked her dry lips.
Do I let him play this out?
She’d heard of flashbacks, but never witnessed one first hand.

His body shook, and broken sobs left his throat.

Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled over. Soon, she was sobbing with him.

After what felt like an eternity, he seemed to become lucid. “Aibhlinn?”

“Enzo?” she asked cautiously.

“Yes.”

“What am I doing over here?”

“You had some sort of flashback I think.”

The color drained from his face. He got to his feet, swaying slightly as he rushed to her bathroom.

The sound of retching ripped at her heart. He was a proud man. If she went to him on her own terms, he would push her away. So, she waited on the bed, anxious to see how he would respond. She’d never seen him so vulnerable before. Suddenly, his reluctance to get involved made more sense. It would be impossible to have a woman stay overnight when you might have a flashback or nightmare.
Did I cause this?
As the minutes crept by, her discomfort and concern grew. She’d never listened when Enzo tried to block her out, why would she now? Slipping from the bed, she grabbed his T-shirt from the floor, pulled it on, and carefully walked to the bathroom. “Enz?” she called, tapping the door lightly.

“Oh, God, please go away,” he snapped.

“Never going to happen, babe. We both know I’m even more stubborn than you when I need to be. What happened?”

“Flashback. They happen sometimes. I can’t even tell you what I was remembering, and that’s probably a good thing.”

She winced. “Can I do anything?”

“Only if you can forget this happened. I haven’t had one in a long, long time, Aibhlinn.”

Until now.
The words hung in the air between them. She bowed her head.
How could she ask him to keep doing this?
“What do you want me to do?”

“Give me a minute, let me take a shower, get dressed, and see if I can shake this, okay?”

She nodded her head, backing away from him. “I’m going to work on breakfast.”

Her head spun as she walked out to the kitchen. He was worse off than she’d ever imagined. The joy she’d felt drained away and became replaced with dread. They were a ticking time bomb, ’til he resolved the problems of his past that continued to haunt him.

When he walked out, she glanced up from the plate of hash browns she was setting onto plates.

“I’m sorry if I frightened you,” Enzo said quietly. He was withdrawn and somber.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

An uncomfortable quiet fell over the room. She busied herself buttering and jamming the toast, plating the eggs and bacon. “Sit, you need to eat. I think we both burned an insane amount of calories,” she teased.

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. He sat down, brooding. His brow remained furrowed, and his eyes were sad.

She knew what was coming. Walking away, she poured him a cup of coffee—black—and then laced hers with a healthy dose of sugar and creamer.

“Come and eat with me,” he said, patting the chair beside him.

She did as he requested, unsure what to think when he pulled her chair flush to his own. He wrapped an arm around her and ate one handed.

She cherished the small act and bit her tongue, letting him take the lead with the next move.

“That was delicious, Ave.”

“Thank you,” she replied, smiling up at him sweetly.

“What you saw today, that’s par for the course with me. You see now why I say I’m not right. My choice to remain apart from you was more than fear. I’m a mess, and that may never change.”

She closed her eyes. “But it could.”

“I’m thirty-five, Ave, and unlike you, I don’t have the faith to believe in miracles and healings. I’m broken—”

“You’re just a little bruised.”

“No, I’m like a high functioning alcoholic. I have a sickness that I deal with in a manner that allows me to appear normal, but in the privacy of my own home, the darkness leaks out.” He took her hand. “I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”

“Let that be my decision.”

“No, because you don’t know how not to take the problems of those you care onto your own shoulders. This burden is too heavy, Aibhlinn. And mostly, I don’t want to hurt you. When I have those flashbacks, I’m not aware of my surroundings.” He shook his head. “I’d cut my hand off before I let that happen, a chroí.”

The sound of her native land on his tongue ripped at the bleeding wound in her heart. “So get help.”

“And you’ll what? Wait for me?” He shook his head. “No, I’ve been selfish enough to last a lifetime. You deserve to be happy, and if it’s not with me, I have to accept that. You have to accept that.”

She shook her head.

He placed a finger on her lips. “Yes, a chroí. Didn’t you tell me that Catholics believe love is willing the good of the other person?”

“Oh, you asshole, using my own words against me.”

He smiled. “I love you, but we both know there are times when love isn’t enough.”

Her dreams shattered like a snow globe dropped onto the ground. She couldn’t push him after seeing what he lived with. “If I agree to this, do you promise to get some kind of help?”

“Aibhlinn.”

“If not for yourself, for me, please?” She gazed up at him.

“Only if you promise not to wait around.”

She choked on her sob. “I won’t.”

“Maybe a time of separation might be a good idea,” he said softly.

She bowed her head. They’d been on the verge of something legendary, and now they were downgrading to so much less. “Okay,” she whispered.