Envious (36 page)

“The drawing,” I said, staring into space, beginning to feel that familiar loss of the present. It was gone as quickly as it came.

“It seemed important. That’s all.”

“It is important,” I uttered. “It proves all of my visions.”

“
Visions?
” Elijah asked, his face completely unreadable.

“Yes,” I told him. “It proves it. Eric said she can control the mind.”

“He did? Sandy, what are you saying? That Aurora’s some kind of hypnotist? I don’t-”

“A witch,” I said to myself.

“A
witch?!
” Elijah exclaimed, his expressionless mask was long gone and replaced with utter astonishment. “Why would you…?”

“She’s a witch, Elijah,” I told him. “Eric said she has powers. What else could it be?”

“When did Eric say that?” he demanded.

“Elijah, keep an open mind. I didn’t believe them at first.” I started. I had to tell him. I needed to tell someone. I had to blow off some steam so I wouldn’t do something stupid like charge after Aurora. If Eric had been right all those years ago, it could become very dangerous, very quickly. I prayed that Eric hadn’t been right, but it didn’t seem likely at this point.

“Elijah, I’ve had dreams, very realistic dreams. And I don’t always have them when I’m sleeping. They come whether I’m awake, sleeping, studying, anything. Don’t tell me I’m crazy, because I already told myself that, but I was wrong. These dreams are real. They’re of my past lives.” Elijah made an audible choking sound from the back of his throat. “Mine, Eric’s and Aurora’s. I’ve been following them back until I reached somewhere in the Middle Ages, I think. I’m not very good with history.” I tried not to stare at the look of horror that flooded Elijah’s expression. “
That’s
when Eric warned me about Aurora. She’s so jealous. She would do anything to keep him.”

“Sandy,” he began, taking a deep breath. “I think-”

“I know things, Elijah. I knew your first name because of these memories.”

“What?”

“I knew you were Elijah.”

“This is crazy. Now
I’m
involved in this?”

I needed to think of better proof. I didn’t want to reveal Elijah’s place in the past. I was afraid he really wouldn’t believe me then. And then it hit me.

“The photo in the gallery. I recognized it from my dreams. It was the same castle. Eric seemed like he knew it too.”

“Sandy, just calm down,” Elijah spoke slowly. “Seeing the picture could have sparked a dream, just making a story with what you had seen.”

“Listen to me!” I burst out. “In the gallery, there is a photo. It is a photo of the castle in my visions. I didn’t see the photo until afterward. How could I have known it? These visions are real. I’m not lying. I wish there was some other way to prove this to you.”

I gasped as I remembered something. After the first party Eric took me to, we were sitting in his room and I asked,
I thought you said parties were stupid?
Then he responded,
I didn’t mean it. Aurora doesn’t let me go. Says I’ve got no control. I like parties.

A realization hit me hard, like a whack on the arm, or a light bulb buzzing to life in my brain. It made sense to me now. “Elijah?” I asked. “Aurora doesn’t like Eric drinking, right?”

“Yeah,” he answered, looking almost relieved at the slight change in subject. “She tried to feed me some bull that he was in AA.
That
was a lie. She just wanted me to keep him away from alcohol. How does this lead to proving your dreams?”

“Why would she lie about that?”

He shrugged. “Cuz she’s a controlling psycho. She wanted me to make sure he wouldn’t drink. And if he did, she wanted me to call her.”

“I love how you elaborate in your answers,” I said with a smile growing across my face. “I learn so much. So Aurora doesn’t want him to drink.” The light bulb buzzed in my head, demanding more attention.

Todd.

Todd never hurt me like she wanted, did he? He wasn’t plotting anything. She couldn’t make him. When she asked him to, it was back when we were in high school, and he was always getting high then.

“What are you thinking?” Elijah asked.

“If she’s controlling his mind, could she still do that if he was drunk, or high?”

“What are you saying? You want to get Eric high? Are you crazy?” Elijah exclaimed. “First with the ‘visions’ and now-”

“Eric’s very truthful when he’s drunk. This one time, one of his many apologies, Eric said when he drank he felt totally free from everything. His exact words. Maybe he means free from Aurora, and that would mean he could speak what he really felt, not what Aurora wanted him to feel. He did tell me that Aurora makes him someone else.”

“I can’t believe you’re serious. Do you remember what happened the last time he got drunk? He tried to kill me!” Elijah yelled, his adorable face contorted in adorable anger.

“We have to,” I told him. Elijah just shook his head at me. “Please? If this doesn’t prove anything, I’ll give up, I promise.”

I decided to give him a few days to think it over. I could tell he felt in way over his head. He was trying to make sense of me and Eric and Aurora all at the same time. I felt I should lie low for a while. I didn’t want Aurora to get suspicious of anything. So, I would continue on as usual, having contact with practically no one. I did call Todd, though. I felt I owed him an apology.

On the third try, he answered with a bored, “Yeah?”

“Hi Todd. It’s Sandy.”

“The evil cousin. How are you?” he asked, sounding as though he really didn’t care to talk to me at all.

“Um, okay. How’s your arm?” I asked nicely.

Todd snorted in response. “Like you care.”

“I do,” I told him, knowing he would just believe what he wanted to anyway. “Does it hurt?”

“No it feels fuckin’ awesome,” Todd answered, his words oozing with sarcasm. “Never felt better. In fact, why don’t you swing by and smash the other one to hell too. Then I’d feel twice as good.”

“I didn’t hit you that hard. You must have brittle bones or something,” I mumbled and immediately regretted it. I didn’t call to upset him.
Why would I say that?
Todd was silent. Deathly silent. “I don’t know why I said that,” I blurted out in an attempt to recover.

“I know why. All you Ashton women are the same,” Todd muttered. “Fucking bitches.”

“What?!” I spat angrily. How dare he compare me to his mom? Me and my mom and Grandma were nothing like her.

“Self-involved, angry, egotistical…blind to anything you don’t want to see.”

“So are you,” I mumbled, opening my economics book on my lap, hoping its graphs would distract my simmering anger so that I could get through what I wanted to tell him. The real reason I called. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Admitting defeat?”

“No, just righting a wrong. I’m sorry that I believed Aurora over you. And I’m sorry I accused you of trying to kill me. I was more than a little paranoid. And I’m sorry for hitting you and your car. I’ll pay for it, I will. And I’m sorry I let my friends beat you up.” Finishing my speech, I breathed in deeply.

“That’s a long list of shit,” Todd commented blandly. “Mine’s not as long. Sorry I broke your clock. Got you a new one though. A
better
one.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” It actually was better. It played radio, songs and even nature sounds. I didn’t need all that, though.

“Your mom sent a check,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Oh, good,” I said, bending the book’s corners with my fingertips. “I wasn’t sure if she sent it yet.”

Todd fell silent. I could hear him breathing through the phone. Must be smoking. “So, what made you believe me? About Aurora?” he finally asked.

I took a second to think, wanting to make sure he wouldn’t take offense to what I was about to say. “Well, you always talk about sex like it’s so great. And you’ve been with so many girls. But, when you talked about Aurora, you seemed so embarrassed or upset by it. It didn’t make sense for you to be lying.”

Todd was silent for a moment before saying quietly and calmly, “You know, Sandy, when I bug you about boyfriends and shit, I’m just giving you a hard time. I don’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah, sure,” I responded sarcastically.

“No, for real,” he confessed. “You’re right. I’ve slept with a lot of people, but,” he paused, sighing, “none of them give a damn about me. They just use me, so I use them.” He continued on, voice so deep, “That’s not the way it should be.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, confused by his sudden sincerity.

“I’ve been thinking. About life. Where I’m going. Who I am. Who I’ve been.”

“Like a midlife crisis?” I asked. “A little soon for that.”

“Depends on how long I live. I’m twenty-three now. My dad died when he was thirty-two,” Todd explained. “The way I see it, I’m lucky if I make it another ten years. I keep hearing this ticking in my head, like time’s slipping away. Like I’m running out of time to make myself worth something.”

There was something odd about his behavior. It made me wonder. “You’re not high, are you?” I asked.

Todd sighed. “No, Sandy.” I heard him go back to smoking, breathing deeply, in and out.

“I heard you talked with Eric,” I said, wondering if that had something to do with his new outlook.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. After I left your room, I ran into him.”

“What did you say to him?”

Todd snorted. “I told him the kind of bitch Aurora really is.”

“You should just stay out of it. It’s not your business, Todd,” I advised him. I didn’t want him getting in the way of what Tony and I were planning.

Todd snorted again, agitated. “Well, now that the getting along portion of our conversation is over, how ‘bout you tell me why you’re not eating?”

“This again? I eat,” I snapped.

“Not enough,” he responded.

“I eat when I’m hungry, Todd!” I roared, shocking him into silence. “It’s none of your stupid business!” I yelled as I hung up on him. Why was Todd always so nosy?
If I’m thinning away, that’s my business!
I fought the urge to throw the phone and threw my book instead, smacking it against my closet doors and letting it drag the anger away with it. I felt my nerves begin to settle back down. Maybe it was best not to talk to Todd. I kept losing my temper with him.

I picked up a phone number on a scrap of paper. Elijah had written out his friend’s number for me, hoping I would call. I told him I would, but now, looking at it… What would I even say? This girl,
Amelia,
had gone through so much more than I had. How could I possibly tell her how bad I felt, when she felt so much worse? Plus, I hadn’t even seen Mike. My heart would pound randomly when I thought I saw him, or worried that I might. But it seemed like he was keeping his distance, maybe due to Eric interceding in the quad that day. Whatever it was, I was glad. I didn’t need to bother Amelia.

After sitting by myself in complete silence for a while, I decided to get some food. Todd was still bugging me about losing weight, and if even he could notice, it must be drastic.

1205

“Eric, my remedy? Did it work?” Aurora placed her hand on his sweaty head. He did not move, but he mouthed the name, “Cassandra…”

Aurora looked down at him and whispered something. Then she said, “Your time has come. I cannot delay your fate much longer. Drink this.” She opened a vial and held it to his lips. The dark red liquid poured into his mouth. A thin line of it ran out the corner of his mouth and down his cheek.

The princess stood in front of the opening I watched through. All I could see was the green fabric that made her dress. I listened intently. I heard Eric’s heavy breathing, in and out… and I heard it stop. Aurora sadly said, “Farewell Eric. We will be together soon.”

My breath escaped me. I fell back to the ground. My heart twisted. Eric… my Eric… he didn’t breathe again. I raised my hands to my gaping mouth, stifling the sounds of my choking sobs. My eyes burned, my limbs numbed as my heart broke in two. I wanted to go inside and tear her away from his body. I wanted to be with him for his last moment. I wanted to protect what was left of him, but it would prove futile. Eric wished for me to hide, so I would, with tears streaming down my face.

I heard horse hooves hitting the hard packed earth. I shrank back into the brush as the horse came to a stop in front of the cabin’s door. Heodred slid from his stallion’s back, drew his sword and stepped into the nearly collapsed cottage. A moment later, Aurora backed out of the cabin and Heodred emerged as well, keeping his sword pointed at the terrible princess.

Heodred yelled at her, “What are you doing with him?”

She snickered. “Are you accusing me of something, dear Heodred?”

“Answer the question.”

She ran her finger lightly along the edge of the sword that threatened her life, yet she did not seem to feel threatened at all. She was perfectly calm as she looked into his eyes. “Heodred, why did you hunt me down this way? Your allegiance is to the King, my father. Why follow me to the edge of nowhere? What is it you truly desire of me?”