Envious (24 page)

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, Todd was just finishing paying at the host register. He grabbed a fistful of mints from the little basket by the menus and led me outside. He put my black wool coat over my shoulders as he guided me to his car and closed me inside. He got in the driver’s seat and tossed the mints on the dashboard. I didn’t reach for one. I wanted a new taste in my mouth so badly, but I was afraid I would start heaving again if I put anything else in my body. Todd ran his hands through his greasy hair, looking about as tense as I felt.

“Home?” he asked. I nodded.

He began to drive, and I let the motion of the car wash some sort of calm through my nerves.

“Want to tell me why you weigh twenty pounds and you threw up your breakfast?” Todd demanded. I should have known he wouldn’t let this go.

“I’m not bulimic,” I told him.

“That’s obvious,” he said, mockingly. “Are you sick or something?”

“Maybe it’s a stomach bug,” I said.

“No, I mean
sick
. You didn’t get this fuckin’ tiny overnight.”

“No, Todd,” I snapped back. “I’m fine. Just take me home.”

1205

I sat in the dark, on the hard, cold, wet floor. I couldn’t see anything through my thick blindfold. I wanted desperately to itch my head. The wool over my eyes irritated my skin beyond belief. I wished I could just take it off. My hands were tied so tightly behind my back that I hadn’t been able to feel my fingers for hours. I heard a door open with a screech and the door to my cage open as well.

“Get up,” a man said in a harsh tone. He pulled me up by the arm and dragged me out. He pulled me up some steps. I could barely feel them under my icy, numb feet. I kept tripping all the way. My legs hadn’t woken up yet and I couldn’t see where I was supposed to go. I stumbled along. He yanked my arm harder and I fell to my knees, scraping them on the rough stone. He continued to drag me as though I was just a rag, or dead animal. The rough rock of the stairs tore at my legs. I bit my lip in pain, refusing to satisfy him with a scream. Finally, he pulled me through a doorway and I felt fresh air blanket my face, cool crisp air that smelled sweet. For the first time in days, I felt I breathed real, viable air. He continued to pull me along. I heard a crowd muttering amongst one another. Their voices raised louder with each step I took. I had been submissive thus far, but I could not keep quiet forever.

“Excuse me?” I said, my voice raw, sounding new to me. I had not spoken in so long. The guard continued to pull at my arm. I could hear that soon, very soon, we would be in the crowd. “Guard? Sir?” I coughed, a racking, wrenching, painful cough. My knees weakened, but I was still pulled. I regained myself and asked, “What is happening?”

His grip on my arm tightened at my innocent words and his reply was given without remorse. “You will soon discover, witch.”

CHAPTER 21

ON MY WAY SOMEWHERE

I looked out the car window and watched the trees go by. My life in the past was so cold lately. I was so scared then, and scared now. I was scared for the visions and for school. I had a new room, with a new roommate. I was glad to be rid of Aurora. Nothing could make me regret that, but I still had those pesky butterflies bouncing off the walls of my stomach. A cold shiver ran down my spine. I turned the knob for heat and set it to high. I cuddled up against myself, facing the trees, watching, waiting for something, some continuous vision to take over my mind and put the wondering to rest. Snow started to fall in heavy flakes, coating the old, gritty snow piled off the side of the highway.

“Mind if I smoke?”

I didn’t turn at the voice.

“Uh, Sandy, that was my version of a joke. I know you don’t usually laugh, but you could at least give me the evil eye or something.”

I turned and stared at Todd as he drove. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. It was burned down most of the way. He must have been smoking it for a while. He turned his head slightly and blew a puff of smoke out the barely open window. Then he tossed the butt out and rolled up the glass. He coughed a hacking, clearing-his-throat kind of cough. I turned back around to stare at the trees again.

“Damn. I know I look like a high-class chauffeur, but if you’re gonna treat me like one, you have to pay me like one.”

“Todd, what do you think of me?” I asked, ignoring his comment. “Am I annoying? Is it my fault I have no friends?”

I felt his hand reach out to stroke my head, slowly sweeping the back of my hair into place. This kind of treatment was something new from Todd. Ever since New Year’s, he treated me like a glass doll. He touched me a lot more often, whether touching my shoulder as he talked, or touching my hair like now. At first it seemed so strange. I was afraid he had forgotten we were cousins, but it was nice.

“Sandy, I’ll admit, you’re hard to get along with, but give people time.”

I turned and sat straight in my seat. Todd withdrew his hand and changed lanes in one swift movement.

“Aurora,” I began, then changed my mind and asked instead, “What do you think about Aurora? Do you think she’s… I don’t know…strange?” His head lurched forward as he bit his bottom lip. “What does that little piece of body language mean?”

“Aurora…hmmm, let me think. She’s a bitch.”

“You think she’s a bitch?” I asked. I was shocked. Everyone always loved her, but Todd didn’t?

“She’s a total bitch. Sorry, but it’s true.”

“I know,” I replied, my jaw still hanging.

A smile grew across his face as he started to laugh. “Well, good. I’ve always hated her, and now I can share it with you.”

This conversation was getting interesting. I inched forward in my seat. “Why do you hate her?”

“You really want to know?” he asked.

“Yes!”

He burst out into fresh laughter. “Well, I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s kinda personal.”

“Please!” I begged.

“Okay,” he began.

He paused for so long I didn’t think he was going to continue. I waited patiently, watching his expression grow serious. “Well, Aurora has this way about her, acting like she’s all high and mighty. She thinks she’s so damn powerful.”

He hesitated, but I egged him on. “Todd, that’s all? Come on, I want details. Specifics.”

Todd blinked, eyes narrowing as he delayed answering. When I didn’t let him off the hook, he answered darkly, “She killed Jameson.”

“Who?” I demanded.
Killed someone?

“Her cat,” he explained.

“Her cat was named Whisky,” I corrected him. Where did he get
Jameson
from?

“Right,” he agreed.

“Short for
Whiskers
,” I offered.

“Oh,” he whispered, inclining his head. “I thought it was weird she named it after alcohol.”

I shook my head at him, recalling the day years ago when Aurora showed up at my door in tears with a stack of “missing cat” fliers. “Whisky ran away.”

“She did not run away. That cat was scared to death of her,” Todd stated.

“Aurora loved Whisky. We drove around for days afterward, searching for her,” I offered. The idea that she killed her cat was completely outrageous.

“Aurora hated her. Trust me.”

“But that doesn’t mean she killed her.”

“It doesn’t mean she didn’t either.” Todd stared into traffic, carefully watching the other cars around us. “Al believed me.”

“Now I know you’re full of it. Albert Bacster hated you. He wouldn’t believe you if you said the sky was blue.”

“Well, he did. Not at first, but a couple months ago, maybe a week before he died, he asked me about it again.”

“How would you know if it was her?” I asked. Todd didn’t say anything, just stared at the road. “Were you high?” I asked.

Todd’s nostrils flared as he bit back a spurt of anger. “Yes. I always was back then,” he admitted, tightening his jaw. “But that doesn’t mean that I imagined it.”

“Okay, so there’s the possibility of a dead cat,” I said, not even close to being convinced. “Is that it?” I asked. “Nothing else? Four years next door to her, and that’s all you’ve got?”

He half smiled, as if he was as surprised as I was at how our relationship had changed so drastically. “Alright, but…alright.”

Todd’s smile faded and he glanced imploringly at me out of the corner of his eye. He looked away uncomfortably, like he just realized whom he was talking to. “Um…Aurora’s hot. She’s like totally babe gorgeous, with that hair and whatever it is she smells like…so of course I wanted to, uh, test her out, right?”

Great, like I wanted to hear how hot she was and how badly he wanted her. But I let him continue.

“Whenever she stayed for dinner, she would like, take her foot and leg and stuff under the table and kinda rub against my leg. But then this one time, she was sitting next to me and grabbed me. Just took her hand right between my legs with everyone sitting there. No one noticed, of course, but still, ya know?” he said with a grimace.

He was struggling to keep his hands on the wheel. He always talked with his hands. I furrowed my brow and nodded slowly.
Where was this going?
I didn’t know any of it, and I was surprised, but…

“So, one day, as soon as everyone left…and I mean directly after, she showed up on the porch. So I opened the door to get rid of her, but before I could say a word, she was inside and all over me.”

“When was this?” My mood had gone sour listening to him talk passionately like he was Danielle Steel or something.

“That’s just the thing. You guys were still in high school. And I remember it like it was yesterday. It’s almost like it’s imprinted in my mind. It’s so…vivid. I don’t even know why I let it happen. It’s illegal and stuff, but before I knew it, we were in your room-”

“Wait,” I stopped him. “
My
room?! Why were you in
my
room?”

“Just listen, okay. Listen,” he said, the animation of storytelling brewing up inside him. “You need to hear this.” He saw an exit for a rest area and cut across the traffic to get there. He swung into the empty lot, turned towards me, and then went off, both hands working through lively gestures and movements as he spoke.

“We were goin’ at it on our way up the stairs, and when we got to your room, she threw me to the floor, and she whispered in my ear, ‘Hurt Sandy.’”

My heart thudded against my chest. “What?”

“Yeah. ‘Hurt Sandy.’ It took a while to sink in, and once it did, I felt like I had just snapped into reality, ya know?”

“She wanted you to hurt me?” I was in a state of disbelief. How could she?

“I tried to play it cool. That bitch said you were too happy and confident. After we, ya know, I asked her what she meant by that. She said you were becoming a problem. Then she just put on her clothes and left.”

I sat still for a moment, digesting what Todd had just told me. This was unreal. She wanted him to hurt me? Then something dawned on me. “You had sex with her?!” My fury erupted in a blaze of venomous words. “You damn bastard! Jerk! You had sex with her after she asked you to hurt me?! Damn you, you ass.” I ripped my seatbelt from my waist and clambered out of the car and into the parking lot. Todd did the same.

He looked so sad for a moment, but then the curve of his mouth changed from sadness to contempt. “Damn
you
Sandy. I wanted her. I needed her, okay? Sorry if it hurt your
feelings
.” He said it with no remorse, and I was horrified.

“All along…” I whispered under my breath. “All along, you’ve been doing what she wants. You’ve hurt me so many times… You’re doing it for her…” I gasped and pulled my arms protectively around my bony waist. “
You
drugged me, didn’t you?” I breathed a sharp breath as my heart pounded its way into my throat. “
You
did that. You drugged me…”

Todd’s mouth dropped open in astonishment. “What the hell?! I did not!”

I shuddered and slowly backed away from him. He was the one who said how I was drugged…by my soda. He said it. No one told him, no one confessed. He didn’t figure it out. He didn’t have to, because he did it. “How could you…? How could you?! You freaking jerk!! How could you?!” I shrieked, holding myself in the freezing cold. “I trusted you!” My voice went raw. I felt a searing pain strike my throat with each word I sent from my lips. “I trusted you, Todd!”

Todd’s face was twisted with hurt. His jaw hung open, and his eyes were wide. He slowly shook his head, but he said nothing. He stepped towards me, and I jerked away.

“Don’t come near me!” I yelled. I could feel myself becoming hysterical, but I couldn’t gain control. “You, you
planned
this… What were you going to do? Drive off a bridge? Kill me in the car so you could be with Aurora? Is that how you were going to hurt me? Everything leading up to one final moment? Were you happy I fell into it, Todd? Were you excited? Was
this your
idea, or
her’s?
Answer me!”