Enraptured (36 page)

“Ronald Fraser would try the patience of a saint.”

“Which we all know you are not. Then, in the end, Isobel will arrive at an accounting of the reason you have been working round the clock.”

“Does everyone in the Highlands know every single thing that happens in my life?”

“I cannot say. However, I can assure you that Isobel hears it within twelve hours.”

Coll heaved a sigh. “I asked Violet to marry me.”

Jack studied him. “You are, um, in love with the lady?”

“I dinna know. I've never been in love. But I have never wanted any woman as much as I want her. Violet is the most aggravating, combative female that walks this earth, and I am sure she would prove a constant trial to any husband.” Coll blew out a long, weary breath. “But the only thing I want is to be with her.”

“Lady Violet does not return the feeling?”

“I don't know what she feels,” Coll said darkly. “If indeed she feels anything. All I know is, she does not want to marry me. I am, you see, a monster who would rule her and break her, take her money and possessions, and not allow her air to breathe or room to live. In short, I am like her father, a man she despises. Holy hell, Jack, what woman wishes never to marry? Did Isobel refuse you when you asked her? Did she act as if you'd thrust a dagger in her?”

“Well, actually . . .” A smile of reminiscence touched Jack's lips. “ 'Twas Isobel who proposed to me.”

“Of course it was.” Coll rolled his eyes. “You don't even have to ask, women are so eager to have you.”

“In fairness, I believe it was my house Isobel was eager to have. Fortunately she was willing to take me in the bargain.”

Coll chuckled. “True enough. Perhaps if I had a handy ruin or two, Violet would be more amenable to my suit.”

“I have heard she covets the barrow and standing stones.”

“Aye. I should offer them in trade.” The momentary humor faded from Coll's face. “I told her I could not keep on the way we were, lying and sneaking about. Now I've no peace at all. But if I did
not
care about her, if I were callous and irresponsible and selfish, I could be in her bed every night.”

“There are a large number of men who would consider that attitude a great good fortune.”

“I know. But I am the fool who wants to be bound to her.”

“Why?” When Coll cast a sharp glance at him, Jack shrugged. “You just said you don't know if you love her. You want her; you can have her. Why not take what she offers?”

“I could. I did. And when we are alone, when I am in her bed, it's all I could want. Christ. It's all I
do
want, it seems. But I feel like a villain. If her reputation is not ruined already, it will be soon enough. She can say she does not care, but she doesn't know what it would be like for her. She will regret it when it is too late. I can do naught to shield her except lie and hide and pretend she is nothing to me and I nothing to her. And I
hate
it.” Coll surged to his feet and began to pace. “I want her children to be
mine
. I swore . . . I swore my children would not be bastards.”

Jack rose, too, frowning. “Is she with child?”

“No. At least, I dinna think so.” Coll paused, then added bitterly, “If she was, she probably would not tell me. No doubt that would be all her business, too, and none of mine.” He swung toward Jack. “Would you accept that? If it was Isobel, would you not care if she dinna have your name? Your protection? If she did not even
want
it?”

“No.” Jack's face hardened. “I wouldn't like it.”

“Nor do I.” Coll jammed his hands in his pockets. “So . . . that is why I am in the state I'm in. You can assure Isobel that there is naught she can do for me. It will pass, no doubt. At some point, Violet will go back home. In the meantime, we are very civilized, Lady Violet and I. We exchange polite chitchat through dinner.”

“And you work day and night to avoid her.”

“Aye.” Coll smiled ruefully. “At least there is ample opportunity for that.” He bent to pick up the rope and coil it. “I'd best get this back to Connery. It'll soon be dark.”

“Very well.” Jack took the reins of his horse. “I got in a few bottles of brandy last week. You should come by one evening. We'll open one, and I'll take some of your money at whist.”

“I may be a fool about women, but I'm not gudgeon enough to play cards with you. And Isobel will fuss over me.”

“True.” Jack swung up into the saddle. “But I find sometimes a woman's fussing helps. And you'll have three of them, for so will Elizabeth and my mother, who persists in believing that you saved my life.”

“Thrice.” Coll held up three fingers.

Jack laughed. “You might be right.”

“I'll come one night.” Coll nodded a good-bye and walked away.

By the time he returned the rope to Connery and trudged home, Coll had managed to miss another excruciating meal with Violet. He turned toward his gatehouse instead of the mansion. He was filthy after his tussle with MacKenzie's sheep, in dire need of a bath before he climbed between the clean sheets of his bed. He could have gone to Duncally, but he hated to put the servants to the trouble of hauling and heating water. It was easier to fill the tub in his own cottage, and besides, the thought of bathing only a few doors down the hall from Violet did troublesome things to his insides.

He filled up the tub and added steaming water from the kettle, then poured himself a whiskey and settled down to soak. The water was so hot it stung his skin, and that was glorious on his aching muscles. Leaning his head back against the high edge of the tub, he sipped his whiskey and relaxed. And thought of having Violet in the water with him—the water lapping at her breasts, washing up over the rounded flesh and falling to reveal the dark rose tips, her wet hair clinging to her neck and shoulders. He imagined, too, soaping down her body, his hand gliding over her slippery skin. He could picture her face going slack in sensual pleasure, her legs parting to allow his questing fingers to find her.

With an oath, he grabbed the bar of soap and roughly lathered his hair and body, pouring fresh cold water over himself to rinse the suds free. It was pointless to torture himself this way. He downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp and stepped out to dry off. He should eat, he thought as he dressed and poured out the water, but nothing appealed to him. Perhaps later.

A knock sounded on his door, surprising him. With a sigh, he went to answer it. He was not eager to solve anyone's problems tonight. He gaped at the man on his doorstep. “What the devil are you doing here?”

Angus McKay glared back at him. “That's a fine way to answer your door, I maun say.”

Coll snorted. “As if you ever greeted anyone politely.” He stepped back. “Come in, then, it's bloody cold out.”

“I know it. I've just been walking about in it, haven't I?”

Coll rolled his eyes and walked away. He would need another drink if he had to deal with Angus. He looked toward the old man. “Whiskey?”

“I wouldna say nae to a wee dram.” Angus shuffled forward and sat, laying his walking stick on the table.

Coll took a seat across from him and waited as the old man tossed down the drink.

“Ahh. It's guid whiskey you hae. No' as guid as mine, you ken.”

“Of course not. Why are you here, Angus?”

“Weel, it's about herself.”

“Who? Violet?”

“Aye. It's been two days now, and I hae no' seen a sign you're doing anything about her.”

Coll stared, wondering if the whiskey had affected him more than he'd realized.

“Dinna gawp at me, lad. Hae you no plan? I walked her home both nights, but the truth is, I am no' fast enough if she needed help. I thought it would be you bringing her and taking her back. But then—”

“What in the name of all that's holy are you talking about?” An icy dread stole through him, bringing him to his feet. “Why did you walk Violet home? Why would I be bringing her and where?”

Angus scowled. “To keep her safe! Are you daft?” He peered at Coll. “Did she no' tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Coll wanted to grab the man up and shake the words from him.

“About the man the other nicht. The one whae attacked her.”

Coll went still as death. “Violet was attacked?”

“Aye. He dinna hurt her,” Angus said quickly. “He grabbed her, and I saw it and yelled, and he ran away.”

“When?”

“Two nights ago. Coming back frae the ruins.”

“Two nights ago. And she did not tell me?” His face flooded red, his eyes blazing, as he roared, “She did not tell me!”

Coll whirled and charged out the door.

V
iolet was in the library,
books spread out in front of her on the wide expanse of the table, when the sound of a door slamming shut reverberated through the house, followed by the rapid tromp of feet over the stone floor. Violet lifted her head from her book, everything in her tightening. She knew those footsteps. She rose and faced the door, holding the book tightly against her as if armoring herself. She had barely reached her feet before Coll filled the doorway.

“Bloody hell, woman! You dinna even bother to tell me!” He took another step into the room and slung the door shut behind him. “I have to find out from bloody Angus McKay that you were attacked!”

“Oh.” She should have known, Violet thought, her heart hammering. Coll was bound to find out. But she had not been prepared for the strength of his anger. She had never seen his eyes so blazing, his face so tight with fury. She refused to let her trepidation show. “For pity's sake. I wasn't
hurt. I didn't tell you because I knew this is how you would react. I knew it would make you fly into a fury.”

“
You
make me fly into a fury.”

“Naturally it
would
be my fault.” She kept her voice dry. “That's always the way it is, isn't it? It has been since Eve—I am at fault because you have no control.”

“Damn it to hell! This is not about
me
. It's about you and your reckless, willful, foolish behavior. How am I supposed to protect you? How can I take care of you when you willna even tell me he threatened you? That he grabbed you and hurt you. That he put his hands on you.” Coll took another long step toward her, his eyes murderous, hands clenching into fists at his side.

“I don't need you to take care of me.”

“Am I so worthless in your eyes? So low, so incapable, that you would seek help from that crabbit auld man rather than come to me?”

“I did not seek help from Angus; he happened to be there.”

“Of course he was. He is always hanging about, and that, apparently, is fine with you. But I—I am ever held at a distance.”

“Oh!” Anger surged in Violet at the injustice of that remark. “If that isn't just like you!” She threw the book she was holding down on the table beside her. “As if
I
am the one who puts distance between us. It is you who chooses to run and hide from me, not the other way round.”

“I dinna run and hide!” he thundered. His entire body was taut, almost vibrating in its intensity. “Least of all from a wee slip of a lass.”

“A wee slip of a lass who frightens you, apparently.” Violet
cocked one eyebrow at him, her tone laced with disdain.

He grabbed her arms, yanking her forward and up onto her toes. “You do not frighten me.”

“No?” Violet was suddenly surging with power, reveling in the humming tension in Coll, the barely leashed control. With a slow smile, she reached up and began to unbutton her dress.

Coll's hands dropped away from her. He stood as if frozen to the spot, his face stark, his eyes fathomless and dark.

“I think this is what scares you, Coll. That you want me, and it is out of your control.” Her fingers continued inexorably downward. The sides of her dress sagged open, exposing the delicate white chemise beneath, held together by a saucy pink bow. “That you hunger for something but you cannot rule it.” Taking one end of the ribbon between her fingers, she pulled it out in a long, slow motion until the bow fell apart. “That you need me, but you cannot brand me as yours.”