Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (9 page)

I untangled myself and smarted from the pain between my swollen folds. I went to the downstairs shower room, and stepped under the shower. The water wasn’t
hot, and I was feeling a bit raw. I ran the warm water on the washcloth and held it there; it was bliss.

Alfie was
 still lying passed out on the bed. 
Sex on a stick... now I know what that means.
 

I
glanced at the time. It read 7:40am. Glancing in the mirror, my eyes sparkled brighter than I’d ever seen them, and I looked great, even if I didn’t feel it. I left him sleeping and headed to college.

He was definitely
 fun to be with, but I worried that I would become attached to Alfie. Even though it was in its early days, I knew I would have to find the strength to pull back, or even end it if I began to become emotionally dependent.

He’d already made it clear that
this was a physical relationship only. I was kind of worried that I might struggle to keep it that way.

By the time I’d sifted through stuff in my
mind, I had arrived on campus and sat through countless induction and orientation sessions. It was a morning of learning how to go to college, and how things worked, like the library, music rooms, recording studio.

There
were other stuff that seemed to be beyond boring, such as fire procedures, evacuation and all the usual rules and regulations that go with entering a large institution.

By
lunchtime I felt drained from my hectic sessions with Alfie and trying to pay attention to everything that the administration thought we needed for our time at school. My stomach growled and I remembered my breakfast of a kiss and a sip orange juice. It wasn’t substantial enough to get me through the rest of the day.

I wandered over to the canteen and grabbed a sandwich, before finding a spot on the campus lawn to enjoy the sunshine.

Small groups of students milled around, others were sitting alone reading, texting or listening to music through ear buds. It was a beautiful cloudless day, but then, near
ly every day is sunny in Miami.

I turned to
 the sound of laughter. There was a group of students nearby. One of the guys in the group was teasing a pretty dark haired girl as she was rolling around laughing on the grass; he was tickling her.

The girl was helpless from laughing, and her giggle was so infectious that I found myself grinning at the sound of her. She looked relaxed and was obviously very fami
liar with the guys she was with.

I felt a little envious of her being with friends
, and I was missing mine. The small group continued to joke around and were all teasing each other. The girl swatted ‘tickling guy’ and shouted, “I did not, that’s not what I meant, and you know it.” They all started laughing again.

She caught me watching them and tried to compose herself. Leaning back still chuckling a little and flicking her bobbed head back in acknow
ledgment of me, she said, “Hi.”

I smiled and tried to look confident. “Hey, are they giving you a tough time there?” I lifted my hand and gestured toward the guys she was with.

She snorted, “What these two reprobates, nah, they’re harmless really.” She pointed, and introduced them to me. “This is Neil and his partner in crime, Will. I’m Mandy. I saw you around earlier are you majoring in music too?”

I nodded
. “Yeah, I am, I’m ready for the courses to start, now that all that boring stuff is out of the way.” I stuffed the rest of my sandwich in my mouth and mentally chastised myself because this was the best small talk I could think of.

“Oh, you’re English?”
She smiled again, and looked interested.

“Yeah, long story, but very glad to be here, though.” I smiled warmly at her. Mandy
put her hand up inside Neil’s t-shirt and rubbed his back.

“Neil and I have a gig at Bailey’s bar tonight. Would you like to come with us? Will could use the company
. His cousin has a date tonight, and she’s left him high and dry.” She quickly added, “That is, if there isn’t anywhere you need to be.”

Mandy’s fingers plucked at the lawn. “Sure, it would be cool to hang out with you, if your friends don’t mind.” I was just pleased to
be included in someone’s plans.

Will seem
ed fine with Mandy’s suggestion. “Great, the more the merrier, I only get to do one song with them, and she’s right, I could use the company.” He smiled.

Mandy waved her hand in Neil’s direction and said, “He doesn’t get a say, he’s my boyfriend!” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

That much was already apparent from the way her hand was roaming absentmindedly around his body. I swapped cell numbers with her to get the details later, and we started to head back to class, falling into easy conversation. We all shared a lot of the same classes together, so it would be good to get to know them.

Mandy’s petite frame
, with short bobbed black hair, made her look sophisticated without having to try. Her haircut was super sexy, with a side part and razor cut edges. She seemed completely comfortable and confident with the guys, and I kind of envied her apparent sense of identity and confidence. Maybe one day I’d be confident like that.

Turning the corner, my step faltered when I saw Alfie
 right in front of me. He was sitting on a bench by the pathway, guitar in his lap, surrounded by a group of girls. I smiled when I saw him and wondered whether to go and say “hi.”

I decided against th
at and stood watching him instead. He was deep in conversation with the girls and had a captive audience. They appeared to be hanging on his every word.

From what I could tell
 he’d affected them the same way he affected me yesterday. His easy conversation was keeping them interested, something that had attracted me as well.

He was
 a feast to look at, with his stunning rock star appearance, great personality, and bad-boy charm. Sex appeal oozed out of him, and the girls were drawn to him like moths to a flame. As if he had sensed I was watching him, his head snapped up as he flicked his loose strand of hair out of his eyes, and he stared directly at me, holding my gaze.

I began to smile at him, and he turned away, completely ignoring me. He turned his attention back to the girls and didn’t look back in my direction again. Alfie leaned forward and brushed his hand over the cheek of one of the girls who sat Indian style on the
ground in front of him.

I
 really didn’t expect that at all. I was mortified and needed a way out of this situation. I rummaged in my backpack as if I’d forgotten something and spotted my cell phone.

I pulled
 it out and pretended to take a call, saying loudly, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you, it was on vibrate.” I turned away from him, throwing my head back, before I walked past him nodding as if someone was talking to me on the other end.

I
 didn’t know what else to do except get away from him. I was horrified at how he’d treated me, and it put me in a funk for the rest of the afternoon, until I could get out of there.

When I was safe in the privacy of my car after class, I couldn’t help but think about his
behavior toward me today. What a contrast to the needy, funny guy I’d been with this morning.

It was like I never
even fucking existed. He did say no strings, but he never said anything about not acknowledging me in public.
So what happened to the consideration he promised me?

I switched on
 the radio and as if on cue, Adam Levine was singing
Lucky Strike
loudly at me. The words resonated in my ears.

The song
sounded too familiar to the situation I had put myself in last night and this morning. I was disgusted with myself and what I had accepted as ‘normal’ just so that I could do that with him.

I
 needed to rethink the arrangement, and whether it would be enough to have sex with him with absolutely no connection outside of the bedroom. 
What the hell happened to friends with benefits? 
I was furious with his attitude
. What happened to Alfie’s speech about respecting me?

I rang Mandy
, and Will offered to pick me up early and grab something to eat before the gig. He seemed like a lovely genuine guy, but after the way Alfie had dismissed me, I would prefer to rely on myself for a while.

I told him that I may bring a friend with me, so I made my excuses around
 Saffy and told Will we’d meet him there. He sounded a little disappointed, but I reassured him that I was looking forward to getting to know everyone better and was looking forward to going to the bar.

Saffy
 was excited about going out with me. She had resigned herself to a night watching Matt Bomer in an episode of
White Collar
.

I teased
 that she was blowing him off to go out to have drinks, listen to music, and if she got lucky, a potential orgasm. She looked at me with a wry grin, telling me that my idea was a much better prospect, and was happy to swap her television boyfriend for a flesh-and-blood one. She set off to pamper herself, and I headed for the shower.

I
 put a liberal amount of cleansing lotion on the cotton ball and rubbed it over my face. I blew my long dark brown hair dry, and straightened it tonight.

Even I had to admit, I liked how I looked with my tanned skin, light blue eyes
, and long dark hair. I looked different from the girl that arrived in Florida a few days ago. Then again, I was much less innocent now as well
. 
My lips twisted wryly at myself in the mirror.

I
 dressed in some black skinny jeans, a chic little raspberry red silk top, which hung off one shoulder with a black bra underneath. I slipped into some black patent stiletto ankle boots that gave me height and made my legs look longer.

When I walked into
 the sitting room, Saffy gave me a low whistle. “Sexy girl!! Who’s the lucky guy?” She clapped, then frowned. “This effort isn’t for your new fuck buddy is it?” she said, wagging her finger at my outfit.

“Nope, he won’t be there, I just feel like I need some attention tonight.” I shrugged and smiled.

“Damn girl, you better pack a fly swatter dressed like that, especially with no man in tow,” she teased.

Saffy
 flicked her hair back behind her shoulders. She looked adorably cute. Hell, she only had to look in the direction of a group of guys to have them all following her around, so my chances were increased for having her with me, not the other way around.

We left home twenty minutes after we intended to and were soon headed up the highway with the music blaring.
Smoke on the Water
played and we sang along very loudly, but Saffy was so out of tune that we giggled and gave up.

We didn’t get far into the ride when she turned her attention to me, sitting side
ways in the front passenger seat facing me.

“So?” she asks. I bunched my brow and darted my head to her before looking back at the road. I knew instinctively what she was asking. I also knew she was expecting me to dish the dirt, and I tried to play dumb.

“So… what?” I said, trying to sound innocent.

“Lily Parnell, come on, dish… and don’t leave anything out!” I tried so hard to look casual. My heart sped up at having to say out loud what had happened.

“My ‘fuck buddy’, you mean?” I was still stealing from telling her.

Saffy
snorted at me, “You mean there are others, girl?” She raised her eyebrow, pretending to be shocked.
 

“What do you want to know?”
I tried to sound like there was nothing much to tell. 

Saffy gave me an incredulous look, and huffed. “Lily! Are you going to hold out on me? I’m your best friend for
fuck's sake,” she explained, like this gave her rights to my every movement.

I
 rolled my eyes and took a deep breath exhaling slowly. “Well… he blew my mind and then some. It was great sex, some of it a little rough, some not so rough, and I had some orgasms. He wasn’t selfish and took his time. Oh and did I mention I had some orgasms? Well, four orgasms to be precise, since last night. He also has a little surprise in his repertoire.” I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I’d heard loads of girls talk like this before. Saffy looked at me puzzled.

“What’s the surprise?” She stared me down. Her eyebrow
 raised, as she leaned forward listening intently.

“He’s pierced
,” I stated. “He has an apadravya piercing, which feels incredible. It added a little… spice. It was different, you know?” I tried to sound like I had experience.

“Damn, I’m so jealous
. That’s fucking kinky. I’ve never had anyone with an apa before.” She looked wistfully at me. “I hope I get some orgasms soon, I’m getting a tad frustrated. It’s been nearly a week since my truck fuck,” she mused, and we both laughed.

Alfie definitely wanted to give me pleasure, but I think he got off on that as much as having
actual intercourse. I was never in doubt that I was there because of his needs, though.

I had felt fine
 about what happened at the time. I hadn’t really thought too deeply about what I was doing, just that I was doing it… with him. Maybe I had experienced the female equivalent of men thinking with their dicks.

Alfie
 had made it clear that this wasn’t ever going to be a hearts-and-flowers relationship. It was just primal lust and a physical attraction. He had been honest with me going into it, but I was still angry about being ignored by a man who I had been so intimate with just a few hours earlier.

I
realized that Saffy was still looking at me.“I don’t know what to tell you, Saffy, he’s definitely very experienced.”

“
Is that enough for you? We hooked up
,
had great sex, I came home.” Saffy didn’t argue with me, she seemed contented with my answer.

The bar wasn’t difficult to find, and it was already packed out. Will waved at us from the bar, and
 Saffy clocked him. “Fuck me. That’s the guy?” She was already staring at Will. I nodded as he wove his way through the tables to meet us. Saffy pulled me back whispering, “I’m calling first dibs.” My lips stretched to smile at her when Will grabbed my arm.

He gently guided me back through the crowd to a table that was near the little stage area. Will put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it a little. “Glad you could make it
,” he said as he pulled a chair out for me, and then Saffy.

Will told
 us that this place was one of the main venues for statewide live rock artists and that Mandy and Neil were well on their way to being famous. There was a band named Bad Buzz already rocking out what seemed to be original material.