Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (10 page)

Will shouted
 over the music, but I mainly read his lips because the lead guitarist’s solo was reverberating through the bar, stopping all conversation. I cupped my hand round his ear and shouted loudly, “Saffy, my roommate,” gesturing at her with my thumb to the side, by way of an introduction. Saffy already had designs on Will, and was peering seductively at him through lowered eyelashes.

Will’s glance
 told me he wasn’t immune to her come-on either. With her track record, I wondered if I would be driving back alone, or waiting for her to crawl out the back of his car with just- fucked hair and a satisfied look on her face.

The bar had a warehouse feel and was jam
-packed with students. It felt great to be at a live music event.

Mandy and Neil
went on to do their set. They were great. At the end, I was in awe; Mandy’s range was amazing, and she is most definitely a rock chick.

She aced everything that came out of her mouth and the crowd went nuts, hollering and cheering after each song. The girl could have mad
e
Happy Birthday
sound amazing.

I sang my heart out, pleased that no one had a clue how much of a challenge it usually was for me to sing spontaneously. I was lost in the music, feeling a freedom
here that I struggled with back home.

No one knew me here, or what my hang
-ups were. I was practicing my new approach to life. I was determined to be what I wanted to be, which included being comfortable singing.

When their set
 finished Mandy came over, and I jumped up hugging her. “Mandy, wow! I want to be just like you when I grow up!” Mandy giggled. She looked amused by my comment and slightly embarrassed at the attention.

“You and I are going to be great friends
,” she said hugging me again. I hugged Neil and congratulated him, then excused myself to go to the restroom before the next set started.

As I made my way back from
 the bathroom, I was looking around, taking in the venue, when I froze. Alfie was sitting near the back of the bar at a raised table area. He was with a beautiful, expensively dressed woman. She looked very sophisticated and maybe ten years older than him.

From his body language I could see he obviously liked her a lot. I felt sick watching the level of attention he was paying her, given what he’d done with me this morning.

I watched as he ran the back of his hand down her cheek, smiling at her. It made for quite an intimate scene. 
Shit! 
I pretended not to have noticed him.

The lady seemed to be doing all the talking and he sat, smiling, and began flipping a white napkin over and over
absentmindedly while he listened intently to what she was saying.

I pushed myself forward and began to walk back toward our
table, glancing back at him from a distance. I could see that although he was still dressed casually, his appearance was much more polished than I’d seen before.

He was wearing a crisp, white button
-down shirt, his ink hidden by long sleeves, and a red suit vest. He looked effortlessly handsome and very sexy.

I silently
 willed him to stand, so that I could assess the complete effect of his attire on him. I was more than curious as to whom the woman was.
More than that, if he was with her, why he had made a play for me, when he obviously has no shortage of female company?

As I turned
away, Alfie leaned forward to talk in her ear. His female companion threw her head back, smiled, then clasped her hand over his.

I felt
 hurt and very ashamed that I hadn’t thought of any other dynamics around our relationship, and wondered how many others he might have the same arrangement with. My face must have been registering how I was feeling, because Saffy picked up on my mood immediately.

“What’s the matter?” I shook my head
.

“Nothing, why?” I asked hoping I sounded convincing.

“You look hurt. What’s wrong, Lily?”

I laughed and hoped I pulled it off. “
No, I’m not hurt, you’re crazy.” My voice came across as quite carefree. “I’m just a little tired.” Saffy’s furrowed brows told me she wasn’t convinced, her eyes searched mine until she was satisfied, and I saw her face relax.

“I’m not tired at all, I have loads of pent up energy
,” she said, pushing herself back in her seat and staring at Will again. “In fact, I feel as if I could go on all night.” Saffy’s last comment wasn’t lost on him. He smiled and bit his bottom lip and widened his eyes at her.

I looked between them and giggled when she pretended to look embarrassed at this. Will and I both knew that
 Saffy’s comment wasn’t a Freudian slip.

She knew exactly what had she said and what she was doing. By the time the gig finished,
 Saffy was draped all over Will, his focus completely on her, and it was clear that I was going home alone.

Everyone
 had packed up and began to leave, so I made my way outside to my car after saying my goodbyes. Stepping into the warm air Alfie was right in front of me with the same woman he’d been with in the bar.

His car was parked about ten feet from the door. They were standing talking
; Alfie had his back against his red Mustang. He’d already seen me step out, so I had no choice but to walk past him to get to my car.

I didn’t acknowledge him, nor did he acknowledge me. The woman with him looked even more attractive
close-up, and although she was older than him, I could see why Alfie was drawn to her.

I watched as he played the perfect gentleman for her.
  Settling her in his car first, he quietly closed the passenger door behind him. He walked around the hood. His eyes looked up briefly and darted in my direction. Then he slipped himself into the driver’s side.

I felt
 dirty and disgusted with myself that I’d stooped so low as to sleep with him, and seeing how he was there in front of me, with her, I felt I really did need to revise my thoughts about him.

Especially with the negative feelings he was evoking in me
. I was invisible when I walked past him, and I felt less than nothing to him.

During the drive
back, I was ashamed at how far my moral compass had fallen in such a short amount of time. 
What the hell is wrong with me?
 I had guarded my V card vigorously until a week ago. Since then, I’d slept with not one but two guys.

Worse than that,
 I wasn’t in a relationship with either of them, and I’d had sex with someone I’d only just met. I knew nothing about him at all, yet I’ve put myself at risk with him. Even more shockingly, I was thrilled with the whole dangerous situation.

Alfie drove off
 first, and I sat in my car for a few minutes collecting my thoughts. I pushed the key into the ignition and fired up the engine.

Driving
 home gave me the creeps because I was the only person on the road. After a few miles I saw another car up ahead at the intersection. It made me feel less edgy to know someone else was still on the road.

I changed my mind as I drove past the intersection and
recognize the familiar model was actually Alfie’s car. The sight of him made me furious. I must have seemed so naïve to him when he singled me out at the college.

The way
 he did that, and how he’s behaved since this morning, has made him seem predatory. Especially when I realized that there was actually someone else in his life.

Alfie
 pulled out behind me and at first I thought he was just going the same way, until I turned into my condo building car lot. He had followed me home. My blood was boiling now.

He got out of his car and his stride was aggressive as he approached mine. “Are you fucking following me, Lily?” His face was twisted in anger
, and he spoke to me through gritted teeth.

My jaw dropped at his audacity, so I
 pointed at him animatedly, completely pissed at his attitude and tone toward me. “Don’t flatter yourself. Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like this? You were behind me, remember?” I couldn’t hide my rage as it laced my voice. “Technically, you were following me.” I stared puzzled, and I was sure my anger was apparent by this point.

“What do you want?” I sounded worn out.

He strutted around me and grabbed my arm, handling me a little roughly. His brows were bunched. “I thought you were cool with how this works.” I pulled my arm away in a violent movement and exhaled slowly, my hands went out in front of me pushing palms down in an effort to calm him.

“Okay, you’ve lost me. I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but you’re scaring me.” He pushed his hair back.

“You followed me tonight, didn’t you?”

I sneered, laughing at him. My temper was getting right up there now at
his cheek.
Did he really think I’d follow him?
“I did? I followed 
you 
to 
my
friends’ gig you mean?” I snickered. “Damn, you’re an asshole Alfie. You’re so fucking self-absorbed, aren’t you?”

I ranted on, “What time did you get there? Are you sure you didn’t follow me? Oh,
no. Wait…you wouldn’t have done that with a woman in tow would you?” He looked sheepishly at me, his head briefly dropped, but he tilted it to make eye contact with me again.

“You were really there by chance?” he asks quietly.

His eyes raked me over, his anger diminishing and being replaced with desire as he took in my appearance. The hint of a smirk reappeared. I immediately wished I hadn’t worn my boots with the fuck-me heels or my tight jeans and this off the shoulder top.

I had
 known it was a sexy outfit when I wore it, but I didn’t want to tease him with what I was wearing, especially when he was checking me out. I wondered if he thought I was stupid or just weak.

“Lily, what the fuck are
 you doing to me? I can’t think straight around you. Do you realize how fucking turned on I am right now? You’re so fucking sexy when you’re mad.” He tried to saddle up to me. I couldn’t believe his complete shift of mood or his confidence.

“You’re a shit, you know that?” I had to do something to put this
Neanderthal in his place. “You’re a good lay, but you’re not 
that
 good.” He seemed to wince at my lie. “Did she blow you out Alfie… your date? Is that why you’re really here? Am I a bootie call?”

I began to pace. “What? She wouldn’t put out like I did?” I strode inside my building and pushed the button for the elevator before folding my arms
and willing it to hurry up. He followed me to the elevator before it arrived.

When the car arrived, the doors opened
, and he pulled me inside. I stared him down and pushed the button for my floor, leaning against the wall of the elevator. His hands landed on either side of my head as he turned, pinning me against the wall.

“What
 you saw was a business meeting,” he started, staring straight at me. I laughed.

“In a bar with live music, and all that touchy
-feely stuff going on between you Alfie? More like the ‘kinky business’ you kept going on about earlier.” He bent his elbows bringing his face nearer, so that his lips were just a fraction from mine.

He
stared into my eyes, and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. The smell of his scent and his nearness stole my breath away. His stare was intimidating until his hair fell in front of his eyes, breaking the connection. He moved a hand to smooth it back.

When he did, I could see him trying to control his feelings. His frustration was beating right there, in his temple vein that was visibly pulsating.

I crossed my arms and stepped to the side of him. “So… obviously you owe me an explanation, for the crazy stalking and the bi-polar behavior.” I waved my hand in his direction, and he stood there silently until I spoke again. When he said nothing, I sighed. “I thought as much, you’re full of shit Alfie. Go home.”

The elevator door
 bell dinged its arrival on my floor, and I pushed myself off the wall making for the door. Alfie grabbed a hold of my wrist, pulling me back into him. No one had ever handled me that way before.
 
“We’re not done yet.”

His jaw tightened
 and twitched again. “The hell we’re not,” I retort, my voice louder as I tried to pull away from him. His grip tightened, and he swung me around, looking intently at me,

“Jesus, girl. Stop. Take a breath.” I was speechless
.

“M…me? You…” His face relaxed and there was a hint of a smile on his lips again.

I took advantage of his momentary lapse, and used my free hand to swipe his from my wrist. I placed both my hands on his chest and shoved him out of my way walking quickly to my door. He began to apologize. “Aw, come on, honey…” I turned on my heels to face him.

“I am
 
not
 your honey. Go home, we’re done for today.” I opened my door and banged it shut with him on the other side.

Alfie knocked
 softly on the door. “Don’t do this, Lily.” His voice was soft through the door. The guy was infuriating. He’d started all of this with his paranoia.

“Go home. I’m not going to change my mind. If you don’t leave I’m going to call the door guy to remove you.” He didn’t knock again, but I could hear him sigh and what I imagined was his head knocking softly against the door, then nothing. I heard the elevator arrive
, and when I looked out of the peephole, he was gone.

I took my wrist in
 my hand where he’d gripped me. His touch no matter how brief, and even in anger, sent those familiar goose bumps coursing over my skin. My heart was still pounding rapidly in my chest.

Holly was
 working tonight, and I knew that Saffy wouldn’t be home any time soon. Tears pricked my eyes and one escaped, streaking down my cheek. I sniffed and blinked, trying not to let the night end with me sobbing into my pillow.