Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (20 page)

Max got up, turned the light out, and opened the curtains. The dawn was breaking, but the light was barely there yet. He put a condom on from the drawer, bent and licked the crease of my sensitive flesh, making slurping noises.

“Damn.” He smiled into my thigh, then inserted his tongue and moved it around. I was dripping and wriggling to be taken by him.

I wanted him inside me as much as he needed to be inside me. He turned me to face the window and spooned behind me, slowly entering me until he was halfway, then pulled back, almost out, then he moved deeper inside, slowly, relishing the feeling.

After a few minutes he lifted my
 leg to give him more freedom to penetrate me deeper. We watched the sunrise as Max rocked in and out of me gently. He was unhurried, kissing my neck and back as he moved slowly against me. After what seemed an age, the pressure started to build between us, and our need for each other became less passive.

Max
 rubbed my clitoris slowly, and I turned on my back. He crawled over me, kissing me deeply, his tongue mimicking his cock as he slid back inside me, spreading my tight space. He stilled for a moment, before thrusting with more pressure.

It felt
 tender, but my hips picked up his rhythm, and I began to arch up to meet him. He slowed me down again, but our speed increased together after a short time again, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He felt me clench around him
 and tighten. “Come with me Lily, look at me.” He began to thrust harder, and I came apart, writhing under him, squirming and shaking.

“Open your eyes
,” he commanded, and as I did, he stiffened, his jaw dropped and his eyes closed as his head rolled back. “Amazing, fucking… amazing,” he rasped.

We lay together for a
minute, until Max left me to discard the condom. I must have passed out and when I woke, I was alone in the bed again. Max hadn’t come back. I got in the shower again, and quickly pulled on some gray sweat shorts and a white vest, before heading to the fridge for some OJ.

He was sitting on the balcony. He turned when he heard me and walked over beside me. His mouth kissed my shoulder, as his arms snaked around my waist. “Did you sleep okay?”
He smiled down at me. I nodded, rubbing his bare abs.

He took my hand.
 “I’ve ordered in, and it should be here soon. There wasn’t much in the fridge. I was going to wake you when it arrived.” I smiled up at him and went to sit on the balcony. The sun felt hot on my skin and the view of the ocean was breathtaking. I pulled my legs up on the chair and hugged my knees.

Tom buzzed the apartment letting us know the food had arrived, and the delivery girl was on her
 way. There were no awkward silences between us during breakfast, but I did try to tackle how we were going to deal with Saffy about us.

“She’ll be due back around noon,
” I said. “What do you want to tell her?” I asked.

“Let’s be honest with ourselves first, Lily.” He gave me a half smile. “I would love to stay here,
but you know I can’t.” He looked a little sad. “I can come and see you maybe once a month. I have a contract commitment and you have college. You can maybe come and see me sometimes if you get some slack time. It sucks, but that’s our reality.” He frowned.

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t want to tie you down, and I don’t want to let you go. You are fabulous and I love you, you know that. The danger for me is that I could fall
 
in
 love with you. That wouldn’t help your situation here or mine. So, how about, we try to spend some time together, if it’s meant to be, it will be.” He told me with a small smile on his lips.

“I know if we tried to be together, you would start to resent me. I know what music is to you, it’s the same for me. We live a long way apart, I’m here now, but I need to go back Sunday night, so that gives us three days.” Max was being practical. I smiled at his honest assessment of the situation.

“If we tell Saffy anything, it’s that we’re interested in each other, and we care about each other. I don’t want you to be a secret Lily. I have loved you for the longest time, but I was a kid. I was worried about going to second base with you, never mind a home run. Now, I feel like fucking Babe Ruth. I could do it again and again! I never want to leave, but I will. It’s your call. We can spend time while I’m here if that’s what you want, and we’ll take it from there. What do you say?”

Everything he was saying was true
. “Damn Max, you’re letting me speak now?” We chuckled. “I hear what you’re saying and I agree.” I felt a little sad, because if the timing was different I was almost certain that Max would have been a serious contender for a long term relationship.

We were laughing when
 Saffy walked in. She looked worn out, but with big sparkly eyes. There was obviously a twin thing going on between them because Max’s face looked blank to me, but Saffy got really angry with him.

“Don’t look at me like that Max.
 I’m an adult for fuck’s sake.”

Max twisted his mouth.
 “Yeah? Well, so are we, but we came home last night, can you say the same?” He winked at me then turned his serious face back at Saffy.

“Just because you didn’t get any, doesn’t mean I have to go without.” She jutted
her jaw out indignantly at him.

Max stood
 up crossing his arms saying, “Who said we didn’t get any?” Wiggling his eyebrows and teasing her. I blushed, mortified at his blatant behaviour. We’d talked, but I didn’t expect him to actively seek out telling her what happened between us.

Saffy’s
 jaw dropped. “Are you telling me you got laid here, Max?”

Max smirked, nodding at her.
 “Absolutely!” 

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief
. “Liar!” He raised one eyebrow as if to goad her. Saffy continued, “Really, so where 
is
 this mystery woman, or are you fantasizing again Max?” She folded her arms, mirroring his stance, waiting for him to reply.

Max looked at me,
and I gulped hard
.
 “Well sis, I thought I was for a bit, but… yup, I had the sweetest, dirtiest, tightest fucking sex of my life, honey.” I was stunned into silence, so embarrassed by his description of our night together.

Saffy
 was also shocked, but not enough to render her speechless. She turned to look at me, gesturing her head toward him and pointing, “You see what an ass he’s turned out to be? Don’t listen to him, Lily, he’ll only corrupt you.”

She walked
 toward her room and turned. “Max all I can say is, in your dreams bro’, you’re full of it.” She disappeared from our view and banged her bedroom door.

Max threw his head back laughing at her reaction. He turned to me, pretending to look wounded, hands over his heart
. “Well, I tried.” And we both snickered.

When
 Saffy went to her room, Max and I sat around the apartment watching television, and Max fell asleep. I always thought that he looked older than his years, but seeing him sleeping, he looked boyish laying across from me on the couch. Everything from his cowboy style clothing to his tall, muscular frame and golden blond hair fitted Max’s personality to a tee.

He was rugged, but strikingly handsome at the same time, another charmer. No doubt about it, Max was extremely attractive
, and he had probably had many women already.

He wasn’t at all nervous about having sex
, and he didn’t appear to have any inhibitions. I began to think this might just be a man thing, that men viewed sex differently than women.

I was still staring at him when my cell buzzed again. I gingerly walked to the balcony. I didn’t want to disturb Max and glanced down at the screen. Alfie was texting me
, and I suddenly felt guilty about what Max and I had done.

There were a few times last night when Alfie crept into my mind, but I had pushed those thoughts aside because I told myself that unlike him, Max was emotionally connected to me.
 Being with Max taught me that I didn’t want to have a meaningless relationship with someone, no matter how good the sex was.

SEXPERT: Still missing you. Your company gone yet?

I felt like one of those slutty girls I’d known in school, sleeping with one guy and texting another. It was like all the movies I’d ever seen about a love triangle, minus the love part. The good guy was asleep on the couch and the bad-ass guy still managed to command my attention.

Pink Lady: No he’s very much still here.

SEXPERT: Very much? … Come see me.

Pink Lady: Sorry I can’t. I need to spend time with him here.

SEXPERT: When does he leave?

Pink Lady: Sunday.

SEXPERT: Sunday?? Hope the dude keeps his dick in his pants and his hands to himself.

I thought his comment was strange, given the arrangement we had. From the behavior he displayed around me with other women he was the last person that got to make comments like that.

Pink Lady: Umm…that’s not your business

SEXPERT: You fucked him
?

Pink Lady: Hmm…I’m supposed to disclose my life outside of our arrangement? What happened to no-strings?

SEXPERT: Ominous answer

Pink Lady: Fair point I’m making, I think

SEXPERT: He must be good if you’re turning me down, cuz I know that I am.

Pink Lady: I’ve neither confirmed nor denied anything, nor do I intend on doing so.

SEXPERT: Huh. So…you did fuck him, otherwise that would have been a straight no.

Pink Lady: No comment.

SEXPERT: So…are we doing this?

Pink LADY: The arrangement?

SEXPERT: Is our arrangement threatened?

Fair question Alfie; is it?
I really liked spending time with him, but my feelings were growing, and I knew I was going to get badly burned. Just seeing him again the other day after all those weeks confirmed I had feelings for him, and it sent my mind into chaos.

I could fall hard for him
, and that would be a terrible idea. Maybe being with Max last night helped me realize that I wasn’t able to settle for sex without an emotional connection.

I thought I could handle Alfie,
 and the excitement of doing something so reckless probably made me feel free for the first time ever.

The idea excited me, he excited me, but
 I was stupid to think that I could fall into something as casual as what he offered me, especially with someone as addictive as him. Alfie was right, he had given me some special feelings, but it left me feeling like I was just an object of his desire.

Alfie
wasn’t going to let our arrangement go anywhere. The reality wasn’t a healthy situation for me. As much as I liked him, I knew then that I needed to get out before it was too late. It would only end in disaster.

He always left
 me feeling elated and miserable at the same time. I had known from the beginning that he was not a long-term prospect for me, and he had been straightforward about what I was to him. When I finally admitted that to myself, hard as it was, I knew what I needed to do.

Pink Lady: About our arrangement. Been thinking about that… thank you for picking me as your favorite… you were also my favorite fuck buddy. Great sex… excellent reference supplied if needed… contract terminated: hugs: kiss face.

SEXPERT: Seriously… we’re done?

Pink Lady: no regrets… thank you for the time we had together x

SEXPERT: Sad Face resignation not accepted without an exit interview… can we at least talk about it?

Pink Lady: Sorry it won’t change my decision. We both knew what this was. Take care.

I heard the sound of feet shifting over tile, and I looked up. Max appeared in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. “What’s so important on that cell, that I wake up alone and cold?” His voice sounded husky from being asleep. He looked handsome with his sleepy eyes and disheveled hair. His hand was rubbing over his left pectoral absentmindedly.

I gestured at my phone.
 “I was only making space for new contacts.” My answer came out more wistfully than I’d wanted to sound.

“Contact… Sounds like a great idea, come back to bed with me.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Have guys only ever thought about sex? It’s nearly two o’clock in the afternoon, I need to go shopping. I need proper food, Max.” He gave me a sad, pouty face, and I swatted him as I passed him laughing.