Enjoying the Chase (67 page)

I smiled sadly and stroked the side of his
face. “You should go. You don
’
t
want to be late,” I whispered. He nodded, just staring down at me, unmoving. He
looked like he wanted to say something, but his jaw was tight, as if he was
stopping himself or something. “Go, Nate,” I prompted, when he still made no
moves to get off me.

He sighed dramatically and pushed himself
off me. “See you tomorrow then.”

I walked him to the front door, kissing him
gently and watching as he stalked off to the stairs. I smiled to myself and
touched my finger to my lips, replaying his kisses in my head. When I couldn
’
t put it off any longer, I closed the door and
headed back into the lounge, turning off the TV. There was no point in me
staying up on my own. After checking DJ was asleep, I headed into my room,
changing into my pyjamas and climbing into my cold bed. Pulling Nate
’
s pillow to me, I hugged it until I fell
asleep.

I woke to a loud incessant beeping. So
loud, in fact, that it hurt my ears. I jerked up, not having a clue what it
was; my heart was crashing in my chest as I struggled to understand what was
going on. Was DJ doing that? I gulped a couple of times, and suddenly it hit me
like a truck what that was. I sucked in a ragged breath, immediately choking as
the smoke filled my lungs.

Fire.

I jumped out of the bed, panicked. The only
thing I could think about was DJ. My legs moved of their own accord as I yanked
open my door. Immediately, I was engulfed in smoke. I couldn
’
t think clearly. The flames were everywhere,
licking at the walls, spreading across the floor. For a couple of terrifying
seconds I just stood there and stared at it, my body not responding to my mind
that was screaming and screaming that we needed to get out. I was in total
panic mode as I watched the yellow and orange flames devour our home.

Then my mind seemed to flick itself back on
as if snapping out of some sort of trance. The only thing I could think about
was DJ. Just as I started to run towards his bedroom door, something fell down
from the ceiling in front of me, almost crushing me. I screeched to a halt,
jumping back as flames immediately started lashing out, scorching the hairs on
my arms.

“DJ! Baby, get up, now! There
’
s a fire. Baby, get up!” I screamed, pressing
my back against the wall, trying to inch past the burning pile of ceiling that
was in front of me. DJ
’
s room was
on the other side of the flaming mess that was part of my ceiling two seconds
ago.

Oh shit.
“Oh
God, help us!” I screamed. DJ
’
s
door opened. His eyes settled on the fire first; I saw panic flash across his
face. “Baby, it
’
s okay. Just stay
right there, I
’
m coming!
” I instructed. “Grab a T-shirt or something and cover your mouth
with it.”

 I inched my feet to the right, planning to
go around the burning rubble.

“Momma!” DJ screamed, holding out his arms
for me.

Hysteria was building up inside me. I was
literally terrified. DJ was the only thing that mattered to me. From the first
time I felt him move in my stomach I knew that his life was the most important
thing in the world. Now that most important thing in the world was standing
about eight feet from me, crying his heart out, and a pile of burning wood and
plaster separated us. I had never been more scared in my life.

“Shh, get something to cover your mouth,
Baby. Don
’
t breathe the smoke,” I
ordered, putting my hand over my mouth, trying to filter the air I was
breathing too. The room was getting hotter. I could feel my skin starting to
scorch as I forced myself closer to the fire so I could get past and get to my
crying baby. It seemed to take forever to work my way from my room, around the
fire, and into the hallway so I was closer to DJ
’
s bedroom. Time was standing still as I felt my way along the wall,
coughing, trying to avoid the flames that were rising higher and higher. It was
spreading rapidly. The floorboards creaked under my feet as I stumbled along.

There was a gap about ten feet in front of
me. The flames were lower there, I would be able to jump them, pick up DJ and
then jump back to the other side. DJ
’
s bedroom was at the end of the apartment. All I would have to do
was jump over, grab him and then we could get the hell out. I smiled at DJ,
pretending that everything was fine, when, in reality, I could barely move
because my legs were shaking with fear.

“It
’
s okay, Baby. Momma
’
s
coming. Just stay there for me,” I shouted, taking another tentative step
forwards again. Looking up, I could see the enormous holes in the ceiling where
the upper floor had fallen through to mine. The soles of my bare feet were
burning, but I couldn
’
t feel the
pain; it was like I was numb. All I could focus on was the sound of DJ
’
s sobs; everything else was secondary to that.

When I was about four foot from the gap
that I was planning on jumping, the burning bookcase that was next to DJ
’
s door, cracked loudly, then crumbled in on
itself, falling over. DJ jumped back into his room as the bookcase fell across
the gap, blocking my only path to him. Coughs racked my body as the black smoke
burnt my lungs. Burning ashes floated up into my face where the bookcase fell
into the fire, stirring it up. I batted them away quickly when they started to
sting my skin.

We were going to die; I could feel it deep
inside. People were screaming within the building, sirens wailed outside, the
buildings alarms were ringing loudly in the hallways.

I looked around desperately for a way to
get to DJ. There had to be some other way. That couldn
’
t be it. He was trapped on the other side of the pile to me. The
room was so bright that I had to squint as I looked at him helplessly. He was
standing in the middle of his room, hugging his Woody doll. He had a T-shirt
pressed against his mouth and nose as he cried hysterically. I could hear the
muffled sound of him calling me. My heart broke at the sight of it. It was
useless. There was no way I could get to him without going through the fire.

Making up my mind about what needed to be
done, I took a couple of breaths and prepared myself to just run through the
flames to him. I knew I would get burnt, but I just didn
’
t care. I had to get to him. Just as I was preparing myself to run,
the front door burst open behind me, and two firemen ran in.

Relief made me whimper.
Oh, thank you,
God!

“Ma
’
am, you need to get outside. The stairs are clear, come with us,”
one of them said quickly, grabbing my arm and pulling me backwards, away from
the flames.

I shook my head and pointed across the
room, still coughing on the smoke.

“My son. Please? Please get him! Please?” I
choked out, breaking down into sobs.

“We
’
ll get him, ma
’
am,” the
other fireman assured me, nodding. He stepped forward, looking around as the
other one pulled me back a little more. I shook my head and dug my feet into
the floor as I realised he was trying to get me out of the front door. I wasn
’
t leaving without DJ in my arms.

I watched in horror as the fireman stepped
forward towards the flames. I could hear him shouting to DJ to get down onto
the floor to avoid the smoke. I could barely see through my tears. I watched,
horrified, as the fireman tried again and again to get through to DJ, but each
time he was beaten back by the flames.

“Ted, we need to get out, the building
’
s unstable!” the fireman holding my arms
shouted.

My lip trembled, shaking my head in horror
as the guy ignored his teammate, trying again to get through the flames to my
trapped son. When he stumbled and fell against the burning wall, he jumped
back, and I saw his shoulders slump as he turned to look at me. Even through
the thick mask he was wearing, I could see the sadness and sorrow his eyes. My
heart shattered into a thousand pieces as I understood his apologetic
expression. He was silently telling me he couldn
’
t rescue my baby.

“NO! DJ!” I screamed, trying to wrench my
arm out of the other guy
’
s grasp.
There was no way I was leaving my child in there, fire or not, I was getting to
him.

“Momma!” DJ wailed. Through the haze and
the smoke, his red rimmed eyes met mine, and I knew I would never get that look
of sheer and utter horror out of my brain. I moved to run towards him, not
caring that the flames were everywhere in the room, that even the walls were on
fire. I just needed my baby safe.

I made it only three steps before I was
literally body slammed to the ground. I screamed in frustration and thrashed,
trying to get up.

“Get off me, I can get him! Let go!” I
screamed, kicking and punching at the firefighter that held me.

He shook his head. “Ma
’
am, we need to get out. The building isn
’
t safe, the floor could give at any second,” he said, looking at me
desperately as he pinned my arms at my waist, crushing my body in a kind of
bear hug.

I couldn
’
t breathe; my whole body was going into a state of panic. “Then you
get out! Let go of me and I
’
ll get
him!” I shouted, begging him with my eyes. The emotional pain was unbearable as
I flicked my eyes to DJ again. He was sitting on the floor of his room as the
flames engulfed our home. Behind me, people were running in the hallway, a
piercing scream sounded as someone ran past with their arm on fire, waving it
franticly as it burnt them alive. The firemen exchanged a look and the one that
had tried so hard to save DJ, ran into the hallway after them, shouting for
them to drop and roll.

“Please, save him!” I begged, my voice
barely above a whisper as the pain of the situation took over. I was dying
inside. I couldn
’
t stand it. It
was like I was slowly being suffocated; my body was going into shutdown mode. I
couldn
’
t cope with losing my baby;
I would rather die than be without him. No mother should have to go through
that.

“I can
’
t get to him, ma
’
am. We
need to get out, now!” he rasped. “Maybe we can get the fire under control;
once the other team get here we
’
ll
have more manpower and hoses.” His voice wasn
’
t hopeful; I knew he was trying to placate me. It was hopeless, he
just didn
’
t want to say the words.
His arms tightened on me and then I was moving out of the door. He was dragging
me, literally kicking and screaming as I fought to get free so I could go and
be with my baby. I wasn
’
t leaving
him there alone. If I could just get to him, even if I couldn
’
t get back, I just needed to get to him. DJ
screaming “Momma” over and over was all I could concentrate on as my struggles
failed. The guy was too strong for me, it was no use.

The noise was getting louder as he dragged
me to the top of the stairs. People were panicking, firemen were shouting
orders to each other, I could hear the blast of water in all directions. I felt
numb. My legs gave out on me. I couldn
’
t stop screaming DJ
’
s
name as reality of what was happening washed over me. My baby was going to burn
to death, trapped in his room, alone, and I was going to have to live with that
knowledge. I didn
’
t think I could.
All I wanted was to be with him.

Cool, fresh air hit my lungs, but I couldn
’
t focus on anything other than the fact that
my baby was trapped. People were running around the street, panicking, shouting
for loved ones, crying. Fire engine lights were flashing in the dark of the
night, casting eerie shadows everywhere. The guy passed me to a paramedic when
I was a safe distance away.

I looked back at the building in horror,
watching as flames licked at the roof and glass fell from some of the windows
as the heat became too much for it to stay intact. All of the rooms were
brightly lit; you could see the shadows dancing inside as the flames consumed
everyone
’
s lives that they
’
d built inside. I couldn
’
t speak. I could hear the paramedic talking to me as he pinned me
against the ambulance. He was telling me that he needed to treat me, that I
needed to calm down and stop screaming so I could breathe. But I couldn
’
t calm down; I
’
d never be able to calm down. This horror was my life now, and I
didn
’
t want it. I couldn
’
t live like this. This life was a waking
nightmare, and I couldn
’
t cope
with it.