Enjoying the Chase (65 page)

“He
’
s going to hurt you eventually. Last night was the start of it.
Taking some girl into the bathrooms for a quickie, that
’
s how it started with me. It
’
ll get worse and worse because, that guy, he
’
s not right for you. Please give me another shot. He doesn
’
t love you like I do.”

“You know how I can tell what you
’
ve just said isn
’
t true?” I asked, looking back to him, cocking my head to the side,
ignoring how he was pleading with his eyes.

“How?”

“Because it came out of your mouth, Josh. I
don
’
t think you
’
ve ever said one honest thing to me in your
life, so why should I even listen to you anymore? All you ever did was hurt me
over and over, and now you do the same with DJ, letting him down all the time.
Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you
’
re better for us than Nate is?”

He frowned. “
I don’
t have a fucking SWAT job if that
’
s what you
’
re talking
about. I don
’
t have money to burn
or treat you to things I
’
d like
to, and I don
’
t have a famous best
friend like he does. But we
’
re
family, you and I. We have a child together. That means something, doesn
’
t it?”

I shook my head. “It means that we had sex
without a condom a few times, that
’
s all that means. As far as I
’
m concerned you
’
re
barely even a father to DJ. If you were then you
’
d make an effort to see him more, you
’
d turn up when you say you
’
re going to. You wouldn
’
t make him cry with disappointment. That
’
s nothing to be proud of.” I stopped talking when I was just about
to say that Nate was a better dad to DJ than he was, I didn
’
t want to go that far and hurt him like that.
I decided to be the bigger person.

“I work!” he shouted, slamming his hand
down on the side table, making a loud bang.

I laughed bitterly because he always blamed
work. “Why didn
’
t you come and
pick up DJ last night?” I asked, raising one eyebrow at him, letting him know
that he
’
d been caught out.

He swallowed
.
“
I was sick.
”

I pointed to his phone in his hand. “Those
photos took themselves then, huh? Or did you just feel like going out instead
of being home with your son for the weekend? Boys night again was it?” I smirked
at him as his jaw tightened, I could see him desperately scrambling to come up
with some excuse as to why he was at the same bar as Nate last night when he
told me he was sick with the flu.

“Don
’
t be such a bitch
.
”

I smiled at that. He was just going to
change the subject so we
’
d argue
about something else. That always used to be his tactic – diversion.

“You have no money so you can
’
t pay my child support, yet you can afford to
go out drinking with friends when you
’
re supposed to be sick?”

“What do you want me to say? What will make
this better? What can I do to prove to you that I love you?” he asked, throwing
his hands up in exasperation.

“
I don’
t want you to prove it to me. You had your chance, hundreds of them,
in fact, and you blew every single one of them. You don
’
t get any more chances with me. I
’
m dating an adorable guy who is nothing like you, a guy that just
enjoys spending time with me and DJ. He doesn
’
t make me feel worthless like you used to. Nate is nothing like
you.”

This was one of those moments that I
’
d had plenty of in the last three years that
we
’
d been broken up, the moments
where you look at the person in front of you and think: Did I really fall in
love with that?

“All guys are the same, you said it once
yourself. All guys are lying, cheating, scumbags. These rose tinted glasses
will fall off eventually and you
’
ll
see him for what he is. He
’
s the
same as the rest of us, a guy just after a quick thrill with a sexy girl,” he
stated confidently.

I really used to believe that statement.
There were only two exceptions to that rule in my book – my dad, and Ashton.
But now there was Nate too. I had faith in him because he was a beautiful
person, and if he decided in a few weeks, or months, or even years, that I wasn
’
t good enough for him, then I
’
d smile and thank him for the incredible time he
’
d graced me with. One thing I knew for sure
was, Josh needed to get the hell out of my sight before I smashed my fist into
his face.

“Just leave, and don
’
t ever come back,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak.

“No!” he cried, shaking his head.

I couldn
’
t hold my anger anymore. Everything built up inside me, all the hurt
from years ago, the lying and the cheating. But the thing that made me the
angriest was that, for about three minutes, he had made me doubt Nate. I hated
Josh for that. I felt like a horrible girlfriend because of those three
minutes, I shouldn
’
t have doubted
him, even for a second.

“Just get the hell out!” I screamed,
shoving on his chest, trying to get him towards the door.

He made an angry growling sound in the back
of his throat and kind of threw himself at me, his hands gripping the sides of
my face as his lips crashed onto mine. I gasped from the shock of it and ripped
my face away from his. As an involuntary reflex, my knee jerked upwards into
his groin. Instantly, he groaned and let go of me, bending over and cupping his
balls as he looked at me hatefully.

“If you don
’
t get the hell out of my apartment, right now, then I
’
m calling Nate to come and remove you. He
’
s working today so I
’
m pretty sure he
’
ll
come with his gun attached to his hip,” I threatened.

Josh laughed breathlessly and shook his
head. “We
’
re not done talking.”

I sighed and turned, grabbing my cell phone
from the side, praying that this would be one of the days that Nate doesn
’
t get called out on a job. If he didn
’
t answer, or couldn
’
t come, then I was calling Ashton. The phone only rang a couple of
times.

“Well hello there,
little
hottie girlfriend
,” Nate purred.

I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice.
He wouldn
’
t have done anything,
there had to be some sort of explanation for him going to the bathroom with
that Emma girl, there just had to be.

“Nate, can you come to my place? Right now,
please? It
’
s important. I need
your help with something,” I said quickly. I heard a muffled reply, but the
phone was ripped out of my hand before I could make out the words. I turned and
scowled at Josh as he shook his head and angrily ended the call. He tossed my
phone over the back of the sofa, where it immediately started blasting Bruno
Mars, so I knew it was Nate calling me back.

“I said we
’
re not done talking! Damn it, what
’
s wrong with you? Why can
’
t you just give me another chance?” Josh snapped, frowning angrily.

“You don
’
t deserve one!” I shouted. “You and I are over; there
’
s nothing more to say.”

“You really are a bitch, Rosie. You trap me
with a kid all those years ago, ruin my life, then make it out like it
’
s
my
fault?
” he spat.

My anger built. “You think I wanted to get
stuck with you in my life? You think I planned to have a child with you? I knew
what you were like when we got together. You were just a bit of fun with the
bad boy, I never expected to get pregnant, but that
’
s just how it worked out. Trust me, if I was going to trap someone
on purpose I would have chosen someone a hell of a lot better than you!” I
needed to get him out of here, I was losing it. I hardly ever got angry but he
just seemed intent on pushing my buttons today.

“Yeah well I didn
’
t want to be saddled with a damn kid at twenty! You should have just
aborted him and saved us both the effort,” he replied tersely.

Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the
vase of flowers that Nate had bought me, and threw it at Josh as hard as I
could. He gasped and ducked, so the thing flew over his shoulder and smashed
against the wall, the glass shattering everywhere. My ears were ringing with
anger at his words.
‘You should have aborted him to save us both the effort
’
. I was so angry that I wanted to kill
him; I literally wanted to rip him to shreds.

“Get the hell out of our lives!” I screamed,
as I grabbed the things off the side and threw them at him one by one: photo
frames, china figurines, the TV remote, a candle and a bowl of potpourri all
smashed against the wall as I completely lost control of myself. I growled in
frustration as I looked at the bare side. Luckily for him I was out of things
to throw anyway. “I hate you. I hate you so much! Just get out of our lives; I
don
’
t want to see you anymore. I
’
m withdrawing your visiting rights to DJ. You
don
’
t get to see him anymore
because you
’
re a waste of clean
air!”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “
You need me.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, hating that
his statement was true. I
did
need him, but I
’
d figure something out. Enough was enough now, I couldn
’
t take this anymore of his let downs.

“I
’
ll cope.”

He smirked confidently and crossed his arms
over his chest. “
You can
’
t do that anyway. I have legal rights. As much as you might want to
enforce that little rule, you can
’
t,”
he countered.

I sighed in frustration knowing that was
true. “Why would you even want to see him anyway? You just said that I should
have gotten rid of him because he
’
s
too much effort for you. Well, I
’
m
giving you an out, Josh. You can stop the money, go out with your friends when
you want, no responsibilities. Just leave us the hell alone,” I whispered,
feeling frustrated tears roll down my face as I slumped onto the sofa. I put my
head in my hands and cried. Why did everything always have to be like this? Why
did my life always have to be so hard?

“
I don’
t want that, bunny. I just want to be there for you, both of you,”
Josh replied, sitting down next to me, rubbing my back. I didn
’
t even have the energy to push him off. I just
sat there and cried, wallowing in self-pity. I hadn
’
t cried like this for a long time, I used to cry myself to sleep
like this every night, but since Nate, I just didn
’
t feel the need to anymore.

“Rosie, just one more chance, please?” he
begged.

I heard the front door open, glass moving
on the floor where the door obviously moved it around when it opened. “Shit!
Rose? What
’
s happened?
” Nate practically shouted, as he ran into the lounge with wide
eyes, taking in the mess that was all over the floor.

I sniffed and stood up, moving away from
Josh. I stepped to Nate
’
s side and
gripped his hand, not answering his questioning eyes as I turned back to Josh.
“Leave, now,” I ordered, clenching my jaw tightly.

Josh sneered at Nate with a look of pure
hatred as he stood up. “He
’
s just
like me, Rosie. Sooner or later you
’
ll see that I was right and you
’
ll come crawling back.”