Engraven (9 page)

Tears bloomed in my eyes. I hadn’t meant to cry.

“Dahlia, come sit.”

He sat down on his king-sized bed first and waited with crossed arms for me to join him. It took me a minute to stop my tears, but once I did, I sat next to him.

“Sorry, I’m not usually a crier.”

“I don’t care if you cry. Explain to me what you meant. I don’t like what you were saying and I need to correct whatever conclusion you’ve come to about our mating.”

His tone was stern, but concerned. It was the same tone my father used when I’d done something semi-dangerous.

“You’re house is nice and spotless. You’re always on time and well put together. You know how to cook and the whole clan adores you. I’m a mess. Not a mess like a toddler, a mess like a hurricane, but all the time. I’m always late. I lose
everything.
I run out of gas all the time because I don’t check the meter. I spend too much time in the swamp. My hair is whacked out.”

I’d begun a spiral that would’ve continued endlessly except that my mate shut me up with his lips on mine. Tarrow Rivers had softer lips than mine too. His hand was on my thigh, right above my knee, burning a hole right through me. All of my self-doubt was squashed by the influx of emotion that his kiss carried.

It couldn’t be denied.

And I had a feeling that this boy wouldn’t waste all of that on someone who didn’t deserve every ounce.

Tarrow

I was right. Cinnamon laced her kiss.

Breaking away from her lips was sheer torture. I pulled back to see her eyes still closed, her mouth still open the slightest bit, her chin tipped back begging me to explore her neck and beyond.

“Breathe, female,” I teased.

“You interrupted me.” She pretended to be offended, but there was no hiding her rising grin.

“I did. I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t let you go on and on with such nonsense. It breaks my heart to hear you talk about yourself like that, even in the smallest things. You were made for me and I for you. That’s the thing about mates—we don’t have to be perfect to the rest of the world. We are simply perfect for each other.”

She sat silently, taking in the room once more, noting the details. I never wanted her to leave. This bedroom was my nest and the last thing I wanted to do was to watch her walk away.

“Do you have to be home tonight?”

Her pink blush swished to crimson in a flash. “Yeah. Well, no, not really, but I don’t…
I
need to go home tonight. My parents wouldn’t care. Being the oldest sister sometimes means doing the right thing, by example, when I’d much rather be doing the opposite.”

On the outside, she may be a whirlwind, but her heart was made of solid honor.

“And that’s the only reason, right? Because you don’t want to give your sisters the wrong impression.”

Her right hand fisted my shirt. “That’s the
only
reason. I’m the first of our sisters to be mated. I don’t want to give them any wrong ideas. They deserve a good example—plus, it keeps me honest.”

I didn’t want to sound desperate, but my bear didn’t give a damn. “But you can stay a little longer, right?”

“Of course. They knew I was coming over here to apologize.”

“Good. There’s so many things I don’t know about you yet. Things I feel like I should already know.”

She shrugged and opened her mouth to say something when a knock at the door interrupted us.

“Come on. I don’t know who that could be.”

I held her hand as we descended the stairs and I almost ducked under them, pretending not to hear the door at all. Whoever it was could wait—forever.

Looking out of the window, I groaned. There wasn’t a point in trying to hide my aggravation at Rev knocking on my door teat the most inopportune time ever.

“Hey, Rev.”

“Tarrow. I need a fill-in. Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“Rev, I was a little busy.” I answered, pointing to my mate.

“Well, the lands need to be secure. I’ve run back to back perimeters. The Alpha is attending the Coeur and Aspen claims he can’t do his job tonight because of some kind of busted lip.”

“That’s just an excuse. He just doesn’t want to do his job.”

Rev shrugged and it hadn’t escaped my notice that my mate had not been greeted by the male, nor had he apologized for his interruption.

I didn’t care if the clan was on fire—he needed to show her respect, even if he’d never shown me a lick of it.

“There has to be someone else.” I knew exactly what he wanted.

“There isn’t.”

That was complete bullshit. There were enough males in the clan that no one should ever have to work double. And as a beta, I’d become first on the list to fill-in—new mate or not.

There were other betas, but I’d never argued my responsibility.

“I’m sorry, Rev. My mate comes before my duties, especially when they’re actually someone else’s duties. There are plenty of other males who could take the shift. I’ve worked three nights in a row. If the others aren’t willing to handle their security details, then maybe the Alpha needs to speak with them.”

Without waiting for his answer, I shut the door on Rev.

“Why aren’t the others doing their runs?” Dahlia asked behind me. Her confusion was palpable, weaving into my cells.

“I don’t know. But, I can’t fill in for everyone and work and…”

“Be with me.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Dahlia. I used to take on extra shifts just to be in the woods near you. I could smell you—see you in the trees—hear you scratching against the bark. Those things just kept me closer to you and kept me occupied until I met you.”

“And this is where you want me to be? Where they take advantage of your desire to be near me all these months? Where people speak to each other like he just spoke to you? He didn’t even acknowledge that I was in the room. This is the rudeness and animosity you want me to be a part of? Now wonder my father hates clans.”

Feeling like any minute she would bolt, I stalked in her direction and put my palm over her shoulders. “It isn’t always like that. You’re only seeing a piece of it. They were kind to you the other night, right?”

She furrowed her brow at my response. “Oh, so it’s okay because you’re the only one they treat like shit.”

“No. That’s not what I meant. How about we make a deal?” I coupled my impending offer with a smile.

It didn’t work.

She glanced over my shoulder out the window and I could hear the gears grinding in her beautiful head. “I’m listening.”

“I’ll teach you more about this clan and what happens here—the good and the bad. And you and your family can teach me why not being in a clan is better. After we get all the facts, then we decide as a mated pair.”

She canted her head at me. “That’s awfully—diplomatic.”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Hey, I’m a diplomatic guy.”

“I don’t know, Tarrow. It seems like running around this place and treating you like dirt is the substance of a clan.”

“Then I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

Pooching her lips out, she moved them left to right. If this was her thinking about something, it was the cutest damned thinking I’d ever seen.

“Okay. A month. After that, we decide.”

I winked at her. “Of course, we can still move on with the other mating rights in the meantime, right? Unless you’d rather wait.”

The air grew thick with desire and I almost choked on it, waiting for her decision. “No. We don’t’ have to wait on those things. No matter what, clan or not, you are my mate for life. That’s not going to change even if we decide to tell them all to go to hell and move to Antarctica.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all night.”

She looked at my lips and I knew what she wanted, but the next time I took her mouth, it would be because she couldn’t resist me—not because we’d just had an almost fight.

“I think I need to go home.”

“Can I pick you up tomorrow? It’s my day off. I need to apologize to your father, anyway.”

She waved me off. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Tarrow. He attacked you. He is planning on apologizing to you.”

I took her hands in mine and kissed each on in turn. “Sometimes the best apologies are the ones that aren’t owed.”

She nodded and then shifted on her toes.

“Here. I’ll drive you to the gate, unless you’d like me to drive you home.”

“No. I can drive myself home.”

I drove her to the gate as slow as possible and then watched as she drove away. I walked back, eased by her promises of texting me when she got home. It was funny how such a simple gesture of kindness could settle me and my bear.

Thirty-five minutes later she texted. She was in her driveway.

I thanked her for the message and went back inside, tempted to run toward her as a bear and see if she’d join me.

Just as slumber began to take me, I got one final text message:

Wish I was with you.

Dahlia

Tarrow had no concept of sleeping in late—at all.

“He’s been down there an hour, Lia. Dad probably has him painting a self-portrait.”

“Five more minutes.” I groaned, slamming the pillow back over my head that Acacia had dragged from my grip.

“If I had a mate, I wouldn’t be wasting my time sleeping.” She sang the sentence like an elementary school anecdote.

The little snot-head.

“Fine. I’m up. I’m up. Find me something to wear. I’m getting in the shower.”

Her hands went to her hips. “What, do I look like your personal servant?”

“I’ll dance at your wedding.” Our parents always told us that when they wanted a favor. “Of course you will, don’t be stupid. Go. I’ll find you something decent to wear. Maybe you’ll actually kiss your mate sometime this century.”

Before ducking into the bathroom and locking the door on her, I called out, “Who says I didn’t last night?”

She gave up after throwing four shoes at the door. There was no way I was letting her in. She’d get all the details out of me in no time flat. I’d only ever kissed one boy before. It was a boy in church group when my parents got tickled by the religion feather for a couple of weeks. It happened at the bowling alley behind the bus. He smelled like popcorn and he must’ve over salivated or had some kind of waterfall in his mouth.

He never spoke to me again.

He was the pastor’s son.

I knew everything must be going well downstairs because our heartbeats hadn’t sped up or flittered even once. I also realized that Tarrow must be a very good sleeper—either that or he didn’t dream.

Our heartbeat had never faltered.

I stepped out of the bathroom in a towel and saw that Acacia had laid out a striped maxi skirt and a tiny white t-shirt that she always insisted I tie in the front.

And sandals.

For all my scatterbrained ways, I was a creature of habit about some things.

When I got downstairs, that was the first time since the kiss that his heart and mine thumped with a greater speed.

“Hi.” My parents were in the room but I barely noticed.

“Hi. I’m early again.” Tarrow shrugged one shoulder.

“And I’m late again.”

“It’s okay. One day we’ll learn to meet in the middle.”

My mom grabbed a premeditated tissue and I knew why. It was one of the sweetest things I’d ever heard. He probably didn’t know how much so.

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

Tarrow stood. “I thought we’d go out for lunch and then a movie. But, if you don’t want to, we can do whatever you want to.”

I gauged my mother for a reaction. I had my own reaction, of course, but I always looked to her for the gut reaction—that level of discernment wasn’t really on my radar.

She gave me a secret wink while no one was looking—that’s all I needed to know that I had her approval and more importantly, her blessing.

“Lunch and a movie is fine. I haven’t been to the movies in ages.”

“Because she spends all of her time in the trees.” One of the sisters cough-spoke. I didn’t even feel like goading them for that one.

“We can do that too. We have all day.”

My kind of man.

“Let me grab my purse.”

I began the habitual search for my bag until I saw Acacia dangling it from her finger. “I swear, you’d be naked and forever purse-less without me.”

I hugged her, whispering my appreciation in her ear. I knew it must be hard on Acacia—all of this mating stuff. She was my best friend and had been since she was born. We had other friends, but ours was a friendship born of blood and love.

She must feel abandoned.

I would feel that way.

“Why don’t you come with us, Acacia? You’re out of school.”

She rolled her eyes. “You want to bring your sister on a date with your mate? Don’t be stupid, Lia.”

I opened my mouth to protest.

“We’d love for you to come with us. How about you come with us to lunch and the movie. I’m sure you’ll be sick of me by then.”

Tarrow was the one who spoke to my sister before I could. Somehow he’d spoken the words better than I could’ve or would’ve.

She darted her eyes back and forth between Tarrow and I.

“Come on. Tarrow will let you grill him about all of the things he likes and doesn’t. I haven’t done it yet. I’ll learn something.”

Tarrow smiled. “Grill away.”

A smile rose in my sister’s face. “Okay. Give me ten minutes.”

Her ten minutes wasn’t like mine—it was actually ten minutes or less.

I moved to stand beside Tarrow and looked at him with a face that I hoped read ‘Is this okay?’

His bigger hand enfolded mine and he moved like he was going to kiss my cheek, but instead whispered. “You were feeling guilty about leaving her all the time. I’d do anything to take that away from you.”

“Including interrupting our date?”

He blushed, redder than I’d ever seen a guy blush—not that I’d seen many guys blush. “It’ll help keep me honest.”

“No temptation with a sister tagging along, huh?”

“Trust me. There’s temptation with you no matter what.”

“Ahem.” My dad cleared his throat and then with a flail of his arms stomped into the other room.

My mom took her leave next. “Maybe keep the ‘temptation’ talk for when your father isn’t around, Lia.” She giggled while waving us off.

“Okay. I’m ready. Ten minutes exactly.”

Acacia owned a watch and used it to time herself and shit. The last watch I’d owned had The Backyardigans on it.

I’d forgotten to take it off and shifted.

We got in the car after a small tiff between Acacia and me over who would sit shotgun. I’d almost forgotten that my mate probably expected me to sit by him. Acacia and I had argued over the front seat since the beginning of time.

“I didn’t really plan on a specific place. Where would you girls like to go?”

“Anywhere but Chinese. Acacia hates Chinese. I have to sneak to the mall and eat it alone.”

Tarrow patted my arm. “Not anymore. I love Chinese. There’s a good bar-b-que place in Lafayette if you feel like taking the drive.”

Acacia shrugged. “Fine by me. More grilling to be had.”

Tarrow chuckled. Trapped inside this booming car, it had an even greater effect on my ability to breathe properly.

“So the first question, obviously, is: what’s your favorite color?”             

He shifted, but wasn’t giving off any vibes of discomfort. “You know that color that the swamp water gets in the winter? It’s kind of olive?””

“Eeww!” My sister was completely grossed out.

“When it’s cold enough to make your paws numb, but not enough to freeze over?”

He ticked his head in my direction. “Yeah.”

“That’s a good color.”

In that moment, I knew why the Creator had made Tarrow for me. Until then, I’d thought this whole thing was a mistake—that we were too different and from completely different planes in life.

The love he had for the core things was equal to mine.

Acacia continued her question-asking all the way to the restaurant. She asked him everything from whether or not he liked to read to his preference of boxers to briefs.

I interrupted the answering of that particular question.

Though I was dying to know. I’d stupidly averted my eyes when we shifted.

That wouldn’t happen again.

Tarrow listened intently as Acacia told stories of my antics as a child. My mom had tried to send me to school for Kindergarten. The teacher forced me to lay down and pretend to sleep instead of my preferred activity, dressing up like a princess and cooking everyone pretend eggs.

The next day I brought a sign to class claiming that making me take a nap was against my rights.

That was my last day at Kindergarten and school.

Damn the man.

He laughed about the time I’d gotten locked in the library after hours.

I couldn’t tear myself away from my romance book even for the schedule of the library.

I’d had to call my parents from the library phone.

Police were called.

They asked my parents to escort me to the library after that.

“So, did you grow out of that rebellious nature or do I have my hands full?”

I blushed more at this meal than I had in a lifetime.

“Her antics are more…sophisticated now.”

You can learn a lot about someone over a meal. He tasted his food before he salted it. His elbows never touched the table. He waited until he’d finished chewing before taking a sip of his drink. He never talked with his mouth full.

His phone hadn’t made an appearance at dinner—not even once.

That in itself told me volumes.

“If you want to drive me home, it’s fine. The little lonely sister is placated for the day.”

“I’m sorry, Acacia. I just wanted to include you. I wasn’t trying to placate you.”

She popped out her bottom lip. “You mean because you’ve found your mate and you’re going to move far, far away and have beautiful babies and forget that you ever had a sister? That’s why?”

It must’ve been the flood of recent events that had me over-emotional. I would’ve smelled her sarcasm from a mile away, usually. But at her little spiel, I’d teared up.

“Oh my goodness. I was just kidding, Lia. Seriously, like anyone could forget me.”

She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and used her thumb to move the tear that had escaped.

“Anyway, I’m going to be the best auntie in the world. But, it’s not gonna all happen with me around, so if you’d bring me home, the making out can begin.”

Acacia was nothing if not straightforward.

After dropping her off, we headed back into town to see a movie.

“What kind of movie-lover are you? Action or rom-com?”

“Actually, I will watch anything. I’m not one of those amateur movie critics. If it entertains me for a couple of hours, then I consider it a win. What about you?”

I started to answer, but his pocket began to growl—yes growl.

“I’m so sorry. It’s my mom. I have to check.”

His mom’s text tone was a growl.

He tapped back a message on the phone and then repeated, “Okay, so what movie?”

“Is there something wrong, Tarrow? What’s going on?”

I didn’t have to say the words. He knew that his worry was palpable.

“She forgot her medicine. Actually, she can’t find it anywhere. I asked my sister to go over there but now she’s not answering.”

I grabbed his hand. “Let’s go find it. Neither one of us will be able to watch the movie like this.”

The thing about being mates was, his worry wasn’t just his own, it was mine now, as well.

Nothing was my own anymore.

I wasn’t sure where the scales tipped between that knowledge making me feel safe and simultaneously making me want to run.

“Are you sure?”

His gnawing on that bottom lip answered for me.

“Absolutely. It’s your mom.”

“Okay.”

He sped the entire way back to the clan lands. And I don’t mean sped as in went a nickel over the speed limit. I meant sped as in my center of gravity was misplaced somewhere along the highway.

We entered the house and Bonnie, his mom, sat on the couch alone and obviously in distress.

“What am I looking for, Tarrow? A bottle? What is it called?”

He explained that it was in a regular orangey prescription bottle and spelled out the name for me. I knew that medicine. My dad took it and up until now, I’d been told it was for high blood pressure, which was mostly unheard of in bears or any shifter for that matter.

I knew something was up with that.

Tarrow

If she didn’t stop being who she was, sooner than any bite could tell me to or any mating ritual could define it—I was going to fall in love with Dahlia.