Engraven (12 page)

Tarrow

The man wasn’t thinking rationally. Maybe it was the medication he was on or maybe just the scare of his impeding future with such a debilitating disease.

Either way, he didn’t mean it.

But I wasn’t going to be the one to point it out to him.

“Call me later, okay? Take your parents’ home. Everything will be fine.”

“I…” My mate stuttered, not wanting to ever make a choice between her family and her mate. She shouldn’t have to. No one should have to. So, I was making it for her though I knew that every step I took away from her broke her already shattered heart.

”It’s okay. Trust me. Look at me, love.” She raised her cinnamon eyes to meet mine and the only thing I saw in them was uncertainty. “Take them home and do what you need to do. Remember what I said? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay.”

I looked back one last time at her parents. Clint was being calmed by his mate in much the same way I’d attempted to calm mine.

I let go of her hand and called for Rev to pick me up. I wouldn’t ever hear the end of this fiasco, but I had to do what Dahlia couldn’t.

“So, the Dad told you to basically go to hell?”

I swore that Rev was driving extra slow just to prolong the jesting.

“Yes.”

“And you just left?”

“Yes.”

He huffed out a growl. “I would’ve challenged him.”

Rev was full of bullshit. I’d never seen him challenge anyone.

“Oh yeah, you’d challenge your father-in-law who had just been diagnosed with a degenerative disease? You’re so manly.”

Apparently he was done talking because he hit the gas and dropped me off at my car without another word.

I checked in on Acacia and Dahlia’s sisters briefly, but didn’t risk getting caught in their home.

After going home and changing, I decided there was no better way to distract myself than work. I stayed on the other side of the office building from the rest of the crew. I had plenty to think about and none of it required their input.

I didn’t hear from Dahlia the rest of the day and though my bear was overconfident in her feelings about me, in this, my human side was louder.

There was a chance she could heed her dad’s warning and break the bond.

I never even got the chance to be marked by her.

I’d never take her as my mate. I’d never have a family with her.

It would all end before it began.

Before I shifted right there in my car, I stalked out to the edge of the clan lands and pushed myself through a quick shift, determined to let the bear overrule me, if only just for a while.

It must’ve been three or four hours before I got back to the house. I’d grabbed a pair of Aspen’s shorts he had stashed in the woods since I’d shredded yet another pair of mine. I went inside and my mom had cooked a full dinner. Somehow she always knew when I needed the comfort of her cooking.

“Sit down, Mom. Let me fix your plate.” I yelled coming down the stairs after taking a shower.

“Too late. It’s all done.”

When she did stuff like that, it made me feel like shitty son.

“Mom, I’m happy to make your plate.”

“And I’m happy to make yours. Now, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. You’ve got that wrinkle in your forehead and you’ve been grinding your jaw since you got in. It makes me have a headache.”

She wasn’t the only one with a Tarrow-induced headache today.

“I don’t even know where to start, Mom.”

“Start when you started doing that.” She pointed at my jaw.

“That started last night when Dahlia’s dad went to the hospital. They said he’d fallen down. But I didn’t see anything broken and we heal pretty fast from those things.”

She dropped her fork and placed her palm on her chest.

“Oh, no. Is he okay?”

My mother had always been overly empathetic when others were sick or hurt. It may have been who she was before, but I’d noticed how sensitive she was about it after my dad.

“Actually, we went this morning and he revealed that he’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I guess he’s known for a while and hid it from their daughters. They didn’t seem all that surprised.”

“I see how that could upset you.”

There was no easy way to tell my mom, the woman who was so eager to have grandchildren that she may never have them. That her only son had probably lost his only shot at a mate.

“What upset me more was when he told Dahlia that she’d be better to break the bond. And then he told me to leave and leave her alone too.”

I expected panic or screaming, maybe a dramatic session of cake baking, but my mom stayed still and exhaled with deep knowing. “We say things we don’t mean in times like this, Tarrow. When people are in pain…Pain changes people. It changes the way they think. It changes the way they speak to those they love. Their outlook becomes clouded and all they know is pain and prolonged grief. He didn’t mean it. Every parent wants their child to find someone they can love and every shifter parent wants their child to grow up and find their mate. He can’t have meant it.”

I didn’t know if she was convincing her or me.

“Even if he didn’t mean it, it doesn’t change the fact that she hasn’t called me all day.”

“Things are weird at the hospital, Tarrow. Time passes differently, it’s like those buildings are in a time warp.”

“He went home today, Mom. She’s doing what he wants. You know there’s nothing I can do if she chooses to break the bond.”

I would be mated to her for eternity—mark or no mark. But if the bond broke, she would be free to choose another. Another mate would come along and take my place as though I never existed.

“You give up on the Creator’s plan too easily.”

I got up and left my plate untouched. I wasn’t questioning the Creator’s plan. I was questioning me.

Three days after I'd walked out on Dahlia and her parents, I still hadn't heard from her. I wanted to peel off my own skin.

Because it along with everything else was pissing me off.

I woke up that morning and my breaths were touching my arm—I nearly tore it off too.

It would’ve been better for her to call me and let me know it was over. That way, at least I would know and could stop looking at my phone and quit looking out the window expecting her to be there.

I could’ve stopped driving by her house, hoping to catch just a glimpse of her.

“Are you even paying attention, Tarrow?”

The Alpha’s voice was one of the few that could break me from this spell.

“No, Sir. I’m not. I apologize. What were you saying?”

Hawke sat back and took the Coeur’s hand in his.

That pissed me off too.

“Tell me what’s going on Tarrow. Is there something I need to know?”

“My mate’s father is sick. He’s home from the hospital now, but he’s asked her to break the bond. One minute he likes me and the next he wants her to stay away from me. I’m guessing his words worked on her because I haven’t heard from her in three days.”

A tear slipped from the eye of Echo and I regretted telling them my issues. She had enough to deal with without me adding more to her plate.

“If anyone were to have the bond broken, it would be you.”

I launched at Rev before my better senses could take over. I landed one punch to his cheek before I was pulled off by hands and will ten times stronger than mine.

“You will stand down, beta.”

And then it was over. Rev’s face was bloodied and the beginnings of a bruise were throbbing on his face. My hand pulsed from the pain.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

I walked out the back door of the Alpha’s house, stripped, and ran until I’d crossed the state line.

That’s when I gave up on Dahlia.

And me.

Mostly me.

Dahlia

A wave of nausea hit me before anything else. I dismissed it, thinking I’d missed a meal or maybe more. I couldn’t remember eating a single thing that day—or the day before.

Dad had refused to leave the bed since we got him home and he laid down for a nap.

He was giving up on life already.

Another wave of sickness washed over me and stopped me in my tracks.

That was when I realized it wasn’t me—it was Tarrow.

I grabbed the first phone I saw and dialed his number. It rang and rang but was never answered. I didn’t have anyone else’s number to check on him.

“What is it?” My mom grabbed my upper arms.

“It’s not me—it’s him. Something is wrong.”

As the word ‘wrong’ exited my mouth, I fell to my knees in pain—pain greater than anything I’d ever known. All at once, it felt like my spine had split down the middle and my chest had cracked wide open.

It was the bond—and this was just the beginning of it breaking.

“I have to get to him.” I yelled, not knowing the power of my own voice, or the strength of the pain.

“I’ll drive you.” Mom helped me to the car and I pointed in this direction and that until she reached the gate of the clan.

This time it opened without having to talk to the asshole.

I followed my instincts and went straight into the Alpha’s home. “Where is he?”

They stood and I would have to apologize later for my interruption and rudeness, but that kind of thing was second nature to me.

“He left.”

“How long ago?”

“Hours. What is it? Is he hurt?”

“He made a choice—the bond is breaking.”

The Alpha moved from his position and came to stand directly in front of me. “Do you wish the bond to be broken, female?”

“No.”

“Then I suggest you take better care of it. I will track him and get him back. Rev, you’re on my flank. Get Pine over here to watch over Echo and Dahlia’s mother while we are gone. Dahlia’s mother is to be treated as any female in this clan is treated.”

He yelled the orders over his shoulder, but I felt his words down deep in my bones.

He was right. This was my fault. I was no good at this mating thing.

“Shit, Mom, what do I do?”

“Let them find him. It will be okay once you’re together again. You have to try to send him your love.”

Now I knew she was a full-on hippie.

“Your bond is not merely physical, Dahlia. Send him your love. Let him know you need him.”

Which was complete bullshit for someone like me.

I didn’t do what she asked. I tried. I tried like hell. But instead, I cried like a baby and let the pain consume me.

“They’ve got him.”

I looked at the Coeur, hours later, confused as the moment I’d gotten there.

“The bond grows stronger if you nurture it. Trust me. You’re sure you want it?”

I was sure. In fact, it was the only sure thing in my life.

“Yes. I’ve just been so busy. Dad won’t get out of bed. The girls are still in school. Mom needs help with everything. I’ve been looking for a job. It’s only been three days.”

She smirked. “Males, I swear. They give up on things too quickly. Three days probably felt like three months. You thought he would call. He thought you would call. Welcome to the club, sister.”

A surge of renewal spiked in my veins. He was getting close to me—to the place I was.

Maybe they’d told him.

Maybe he knew.

“I’m going outside to wait for him. He’s on his way.”

Echo winked at me. These people had a thing for winking.

I stumbled out the back door, looking everywhere for him. My bear was insistent on me going after him, closing the distance between him and me. But at the same time, I knew it would be counter-productive for me to shift in front of other males.

Again, I didn’t know which way was up.

I heard a gasp before I saw him. He was in the woods, in his human form.

“Tarrow?” It came out as a question, because I was questioning whether or not they wanted me there.

The males passed me and closed the door behind them.

He didn’t budge, so I took the direction of those who knew what they were doing and went to him.

“You gave up on me.” That wasn’t really the first thing I wanted to say.

“I did. A little.”

“I’m so sorry.” He was shirtless, so when my arms went around his torso, we both exhaled, letting go all of the pain and emptiness.

We were whole again.

“You’ve been gone. I didn’t know what to think. You father…”

“Is going through something that has nothing to do with our mating.”

We collapsed on the ground, linked together. His palms ran the length of my face as though he were getting to know it all over again.

“I know it’s usually the female’s decision but can you mark me soon? At least I’ll have that if you decide…”

“Listen to me.” I turned his chin so that he faced me. “I don’t care what we have to do. You and I are never going to be over—I don’t care what he says.”

“Still. I want to be marked. I want to mark you. I want everyone to know that you are claimed. That you are mine.”

I smiled at his words. I never thought I’d be one of those girls who enjoyed being claimed.

I was wrong.

“I am yours. But where can we do it? I live with my parents and you with your mom. We have no privacy.”

“You tell me when and I’ll find a place. I need to start looking for a place to live anyway—with you.”

The hilt in his voice had gone.

He was mine again.

“Tomorrow night. I promise.”

His eyebrow pulsed. The boy was trouble again.

“I won’t believe you until you seal it with a kiss.”

Except he didn’t wait for me to kiss him. He took my lips with his and moved them softly. The kiss was filled with his indecisions and mine. With his love and mine. With old bonds and new.

“My mom is inside with the Alpha and his mate. I’m pretty sure there’s a full-scale debate going on in there.”

“I bet the Alpha is winning.”

“You don’t know my mom.”

“You don’t know the Alpha.”

“Let’s go in there before someone gets killed.”

We walked back to the Alpha’s house hand in hand. When we got inside, I saw my mom, being coddled by Echo and sobbing. The Alpha was next to them, with his hand on her shoulder.

“What’s going on?”

“They’re going to help us, Dahlia.”

“Who is going to help us?”

“The clan. I’m going to let them help us. I don’t care what your father says. He can’t work and I have to take care of him. We still have a mortgage on the house and six children to feed. I can’t do it alone. We were already behind, Dahlia. They were about to foreclose on the house.”

They’d been keeping it all from me.

I began the protest in my head before it reached my mouth, but it never got the opportunity. Tarrow’s arms wrapped around my waist and his voice was in my ear.

“Everyone needs help at some time in their life, love. Let us be there for you and your family. It would be our honor.”

Damn him.

“How are they going to help?” I asked.

“They can move in to the house with me. There’s plenty of room.”

“Mom?” Tarrow questioned, but never let me go.

“The Coeur called me and asked for my advice like she does from time to time. There’s no question about it. I have tons of room and Vidalia needs the help. You two are going to have to find somewhere else to live.”

“The Bergeron’s are moving to the bigger house on the east side of the property. You two can move into that. It’s a small cabin, but it will do.”

I felt like a puppet being strung along without free will. There was no way my father would agree to this set up. That’s exactly what he would call it too—a set up. He would claim it was all conspiracy.

“They’re doing the best they can. They’re not trying to tell you what to do.”

“I know.”

He chuckled in my ear. “Do you? I feel you again. You feel trapped.”

“Shut up.”

He turned his attention to the Alpha. “I’m going home to get some clothes and I’ll be ready for security duty soon. Can someone take Dahlia’s mother home? I’m sure she doesn’t want to leave Clint at home too long with just the girls.”

“I can drive her home.” I protested.

“No, you’re staying with me.”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t muster a no.

It didn’t help that everyone in the room had a giggle at my inability to disagree.

“Come on.” Tarrow grabbed my hand and pulled me back through the back door of the house and in no time we were at his home. Scenarios were pacing through my head and my stomach drew tight thinking about how my dad would react. He’d been very reactive since getting home from the hospital. His once cool attitude had become aloof and trite at the same time.

And I hated to think it, but the conspiracy theory wouldn’t just be in my dad’s head.

It was already in mine.

After all, I was trained to think that way—defense before offense when it came to all things organized—religion, clans, sports—it was all guilty before proven innocent.

“Is there anything I can say to make you feel better?” He asks as I sat on the couch while he raccooned through a basket of laundry and pulled on a shirt.

“I don’t know how he’s going to react. You know how he is. I didn’t even know we were having money issues.”

“I’m sure they were trying to protect you.”

“I’m a little old to be protected. I could’ve helped. I could’ve worked more.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. I didn’t help tonight. I can’t apologize enough. The bond—I can’t explain it. It feels like the first day—I’m still so unsure and everything is in the air. Other mated couples would’ve been planning their mating ceremony. I can’t even get you to call me. Shit. I’m sorry. I’m screwing this all up. No wonder you’re so hesitant.”

“I’m not hesitant about you. I’m hesitant about life. Everything is in the air.”

The couch depressed next to me. His closeness made me calmer, even without touch.

“Tell me everything that’s in the air and we’ll figure it out one by one. Come on. I’m good at this. I’m good at fixing problems.”

“I still don’t have a job.”

“You have a mate who loves you and wants to support you until you find a job. I would never let you go without something you need.” He put his palms out, preempting my rebuttal. “I’ve saved most of my life. I’ve invested well. People think I’m just wasting time, but I’ve got a ton saved. You just have to let me support you.”

“Let’s say I do. That only eliminates one thing.”

He scooted closer.

“Give me the next one.”

“My family is apparently broke. My Dad is sick and we don’t have a home.”

“That’s three in one.”

My eyes gave him all the sarcasm he deserved.

“I know it’s not ideal, but the offer stands. This home is yours as much as it is mine. There’s plenty of room. My mom needs the company. Your mom could use the help. The girls could either continue homeschooling or go to school with the other kids. Our house is paid for. As for your dad, that’s one thing I can’t fix.”

“No one can.”

“Anything else I can help with?”

Slumping over to rest my head on his chest, I let out a night’s worth of worry in one slow exhale. “Can you fix me? I suck at this mating thing.”

My tears began and for the life of me, I couldn’t make them stop.

“All you have to do is give in. Stop fighting it. If you want it to happen, then all you have to do is let it. I was on my way back, you know. I didn’t get far before I made myself turn around.  It’s impossible to stay away from you.”

Burying my face in his clean-smelling shirt, I nodded. “I want it—I think I need it. I need you in my life.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all night. Hell, it might be the best thing I’ve heard ever.”

“I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever said.”

“Look at me, Dahlia.”

It took me a few second, but when I looked at him, everything was okay again.

“This.” He pointed between his chest and mine. “Needs to be the concrete in our lives from now on. Everything can be crumbling around us, but we should always be able to count on this first. Can you let me be that solid in your life?”

“Yes.”

A broad smile came to his face. “Good. Now I solved everything.”

Smug. The boy was as smug as they come.

“Except a place for us to—you know, the mark.”

“Oh, I’ve solved that mystery too. You just don’t know it yet.”