Engaging the Bachelor (Pulse) (15 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Carson checked his phone as he pulled into his spot at the hospital. He was running a bit late, and wanted to stop in and see Gemma before his shift, but he also didn’t want to disturb her because she was busy trying to fill her orders. Except he was desperate to see her, needing one of her warm kisses to get him through the night shift.

Gemma, sweet and sexy Gemma, who I’m madly in love with.

He thought he could fuck her a few times over the course of the summer and finally get her out of his system. But all it did was draw him in deeper, taking him to a place where emotions ruled. He hadn’t spent as much time with her as he would’ve liked during the last few weeks, and he knew he was being secretive, but he had big plans for their engagement party tomorrow and wanted to make sure his present to her was a surprise.

His heart beat a little quicker, and while he guessed her feelings for him ran as deep as his for her, he had to go on faith that what he was going to propose wasn’t going to scare her off. Hopefully over the last couple of months, she’d learned she could trust him, understand that he’d never hurt or leave her behind. She was a runner, and for the last few weeks he’d been putting together a treatment plan to keep her grounded.

He climbed from his car, and saw movement outside Score. He glanced across the walkway that separated the hospital from the sports bar, and frowned when he saw Gemma and Jake standing beneath the streetlight near the stairs that led to her loft. What the fuck? Jake was handing her something, but from this distance, he couldn’t quite tell what it was. She wasn’t taking any more jewelry orders. Besides, who the fuck would Jake be buying jewelry for anyway? He hiked his backpack up higher on his back, about to stomp over there and find out what was going on, but the sound of an ambulance arriving stopped him. Shit. Whatever was going on, he’d have to get to the bottom of it tomorrow.

He stepped into the hospital, and the rest of the night sped by, as emergency after emergency came through the doors. Before he knew it, morning was upon them. A yawn pulled at him, and he stretched, needing a few good hours of sleep before the engagement party. He hopped into his car, hurried home, and crashed.

Hours later, the sound of guests arriving pulled him awake. He showered, dressed, grabbed the box off his dresser and tucked it into his pocket. Nervous excitement gripped him as he stepped out into the back gardens where the party was being held, greeting old family friends and a few colleagues. He walked through the crowd and found his mother.

“Have you seen Gemma?”

She flashed a smile. “She probably just wants to make a grand entrance.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, but something was wrong. He felt it in his gut. He looked for her friend Andy, who was nowhere to be found, either. He slipped into the house and grabbed his phone. He called her number, but when she didn’t answer, he sent her a text.

“Where is this lovely woman we’re all hearing about,” Mrs. Banyan, Jake’s mother, asked when he stepped back outside.

“She should be here soon,” he assured her, anxiety forming a ball in the pit of his stomach.

“Is this not beautiful?” she said, stroking the gem hanging from a gold chain around her neck. “She’s a very talented woman.”

“Yes, she is.” He looked through the crowd again, and spotted a group of women following the rose-lined path to the back gardens. “If you’ll excuse me. I think she might be here.”

Heels clicked, and he greeted the group of women, one being none other than Audra. Fake smiles were exchanged, as well as congratulations. Audra touched his arm.

“Carson,” she said. “Where is that lovely fiancée of yours?”

He clenched his teeth. “She’ll be here.”

“Fashionably late is one thing, but I’m wondering if she’s even coming at all.”

The muscles along his jaw ticked as he glared at her. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh, Carson, you can stop pretending. I know you bought her for the summer, giving her money to pretend to be your fiancée.” She fluttered her lashes, blinking innocently. “Can you imagine if your parents ever found out, or their friends?” She waved her hand toward the crowd. “News of you paying for sex would drag your family’s name through the mud—again.”

A wave of anger crashed over him. “I did not pay her for sex.”

“Well, maybe not, but I’m sure that’s how the paparazzi would spin it. But don’t worry; I’ll keep your secret, Carson. You can trust me.”

“I have to go find her.”

She touched his arm to stop him. “She’s obviously done with this charade, so why would you go after her?”

“Because…” Because he loved her, goddammit, and she wouldn’t run out on him—not again. Right?

Fuck! Could he have been so wrong about her? Was this situation simply about the deal they agreed upon—a business arrangement? Had this whole engagement party simply been too much, and she was faking the breakup now? He pushed one hand into his pocket and fisted the velvet box.

“Look, Carson, she’s nothing but a slut from the wrong side of the tracks.”

His nostrils flared. “Don’t you ever fucking say anything like that about her again.”

“Come on, everyone knows it. Ask around.”

“You don’t know her.”

She angled her head. “You didn’t really think this thing between you two was real, did you? She was only after what you had in your wallet, and believe me, you’re better off without her in your life.” Audra put her hands on his chest.

“Don’t touch me.” He grabbed her hands and put them at her sides. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I think I do, considering she’s not here.” Her hands went to her hips, and her chin lifted slightly. “Like I said, she took your money and ran.”

That couldn’t be right. Gemma wasn’t like that. She cared about him. Didn’t she?

“Don’t for one minute think you’re the only guy she’s taken money from for…favors.”

“What are you talking about?” His voice was getting louder, deeper, drawing unwanted attention. He grit his teeth, and tried to push down the image of her and Jake doing some secret exchange near her stairs last night. What the hell was he giving her? Money?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He grabbed his cell phone and tried her again, but this time it went straight to voicemail. Had she blocked his number? Was this really fucking happening?

“I have to go.”

He caught his mother’s eyes, and his heart seized. Jesus Christ, he was such a fuckup. One more thing to disappoint his family. He turned and made his way to his car, then headed toward Gemma’s loft.

He stepped into Score, and glanced around, looking for her. When his search came up empty, he rushed up the outside steps and pounded on her door. No answer. He tried the knob, but it was locked. Shading the sun, he looked inside. Gracie and her pillow were nowhere to be found, and the table was clear of all jewels. His stomach pained. The place had been abandoned.

He hurried to the hospital, but Andy wasn’t on shift. He found out where she lived and drove straight to her house. Her mother answered, but she had no idea where Andy was, either. He tried to call Gemma for the hundredth time, but once again, she didn’t answer.

“Fuck.”

He headed back toward the hospital and spotted Jake walking the path to Score. Hitting the brakes, Carson jumped from his car.

“Jake,” he called out

Jake stopped. “What’s up?”

“Last night I saw you and Gemma outside Score. What did you give her?”

Jake raked his hands through his hair, his gaze shifting around. “Money.”

“What for?”

“Carson, I don’t know what this is all about, but she was just doing me a favor.”

“A favor?” Blind rage filled Carson, and he drew back and punched Jake in the face. Jake went down.

“What the fuck, Carson?” he said, rubbing his jaw as he got up.

Carson took a deep breath to pull himself together. He needed time alone, time to think. He hopped into his car and drove home. Instead of going to the gardens where guests were waiting, he grabbed a bottle of scotch and made his way to his grandfather’s boat.

He climbed on board and plunked himself down on the stern perch. With his phone in hand, he stared out at the water and tried to wrap his brain around this turn of events. Needing to check out, he cracked the seal on the bottle, took a long swig, and winced as it burned down his throat. One drink was followed by two, but not even the alcohol could numb the pain inside him. He glanced around, wanting to pound something, break the shit out of anything. But this was his granddad’s boat, and he’d never do anything to damage it.

Pink and purple bruised the night sky as the sun set, and he drank until he passed out on the deck. Many, many hours later, the sound of a speedboat going by pulled him awake, and he groaned at the pounding in the base of his skull. Fucking hangover. At least the pain filled the void inside him.

He sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose, his mouth parched. He looked at the half empty bottle, but wasn’t going to touch another drop. Gemma’s mother always checked out with alcohol, and he would never do to that to her. A noise caught in his throat. A half laugh, half groan. Here he was worried about checking out on Gemma, when she was the one who’d done it to him.

Gemma.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck was he going to do now? He loved her, had a hole in his heart the size of the ship’s wheel. He pushed against the side of the boat and drew his knees up.

“I thought I might find you here.”

He turned, the world spinning as he zeroed in on his dad. “I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

“Are you in the mood to listen?”

“No.”

His father chuckled. “How about you do it anyway.”

He looked into his father’s face, took in the lines around his eyes. His stomach soured. Fuck. The man was astute, and he should have known he could never hide anything from him. “You know, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I overheard you talking to Audra. Plus I had my suspicions that something was going on all along.”

“If you’re here to lecture me, I’m not interested. I know I’ve disappointed you again. I don’t need to hear it.”

His father hunkered down beside him. They sat in silence for a long time, then his father spoke. “I take the blame in this, son. Your mother and I shouldn’t have been pushing you. You’re your own man, and you make your own decisions. I should have respected that, and I didn’t.” He exhaled slowly. “And as far as being disappointed? I’m disappointed in myself, not you.”

Carson shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You saved your sister.”

“But I nearly beat a guy to death.”

“Don’t you see, Carson? It was my job to take care of the family, not yours. I’ll never forgive myself for that. I should have been the one to give that guy a beating, not you. I should have been the one to deal with the fallout. You always wanted to be a lawyer, and because I didn’t stand up, you suffered the consequences.”

“No, Dad,
you
always wanted me to be a lawyer. I really like being a doctor.”

His dad shifted and put his hand on Carson’s shoulder. Carson swallowed against the lump forming in his throat.

“I’m proud of you, Carson. Proud of everything you’ve accomplished in your professional life. I’m proud of the choices you make in your personal life, too. Gemma and you…I couldn’t be happier.”

“She’s gone, Dad. None of this was real.”

He went quiet for a moment. “You don’t think so?”

“It was a business arrangement, and now she’s gone.” Wait, shit, he hadn’t even paid her. His mind rewound to yesterday. Audra said Gemma took his money and ran, but he’d been so enraged, he hadn’t stopped to remember that no money had ever been exchanged. If this was just a business arrangement to her, why would she leave without getting paid? None of this made sense. And his goddamn hangover wasn’t helping him think clearly, either.

“Pretend or not, you can’t tell me you don’t love her.”

Carson raked his hands through his hair and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I do love her, but she left.”

“Why do you think she did that?”

“I don’t know. Because she doesn’t feel the same about me? She’s a runner, and she ran. It’s what she does to protect herself.”

“What’s she protecting herself from?”

“Getting hurt.”

His father went silent and just stared at him, as if he was waiting for the pieces to snap together. If his head hadn’t been pounding so hard…

“Something came for you while you were out,” his dad said. “It’s up at the house. I think you should see it.”

“I don’t want to go up there and have to field questions from Mom.”

“We’ll sneak in through the back.”

He angled his head and looked at his father. They hadn’t talked like this in a long time, and it felt good. Healing. “Okay.”

They climbed from the boat and walked back to the house. His father opened the back gate and guided him inside to the front room off the pool. Carson looked at the big bay window, and when he saw a beautiful, hand carved replica of his grandfather’s sailboat on the sill, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“What? How?”

“You tell me. It came yesterday. The craftsman said Gemma hired him to make it for you.”

His heart hurt as he touched the wood, trailing his finger over the intricate piece. It had to have cost her a small fortune. “I can’t believe she did this.”

“She must care a great deal about you.”

He swallowed as the tumblers began to click. “She ran because she’s afraid,” he said quietly. “Not because she doesn’t feel the same, but because she does. She’s afraid of getting hurt.” He glanced up slowly. “I’d never hurt her.”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and I think she knows that.”

He raked his fingers through his hair and turned back to the window to look out over the water. “Then I don’t get it. Why did she just leave without a word?”

“Maybe you need to ask her that.”

“What’s going on in here?” his mother asked as she stepped into the room. “Where is Gemma? Why didn’t she come to the engagement party yesterday?”