Endlessly (6 page)

The girl blushed deep red. Her aura
looked solid enough to touch. What was wrong with me? I’d never
felt this way toward anyone. I had to know what this girl was
before it drove me insane. My chest felt tight, and my stomach
seemed to be sinking.

“They’re back there,” I said. “I can
show you if you’d like.”

She looked up at me, nodded, then
nervously glanced about. I led her through the crowded aisles to
the area in back where the born knowing met. We had the books on
one side of us, and the herbs, incense, and witchcraft
paraphernalia on the other. The smell of the herbs was
overpowering. I took her to the shelf.

“Right here. This is where we stock new
arrivals. We have two new ones about reincarnation and old souls.
That is what you are interested in right?” I looked at her as her
eyes skimmed across the titles. From this angle I could admire her
profile. She had an elegant look. Her thin nose was the perfect
complement to her slender features. Her lips were full but not
overdone. She wore no makeup.

“Thanks.” As she reached for one of the
books on the top shelf, I noticed the tattoos. It seemed odd that
such a shy girl would have any tattoos. After all, they

draw attention, and the rest of her
look and manner seemed calculated to keep her anonymous. But there
it was: letters tattooed on her knuckles. She was leafing through a
book, so I couldn’t quite catch what the tattoos said.

She was shaky, and a sheen of sweat
covered her forehead. Was I making her nervous? Should I walk away?
I couldn’t bring myself to leave her. I just kept staring. She
must’ve been wondering exactly what kind of freak I was. My chest
tightened. I had to say something.

“Uh, you know, a group meets here on
the weekends to discuss the things you’re reading about. I’m sure
they would be glad to have you. Actually…uh…I go to all the
meetings. I live in back of the store.” I pointed to the door that
led to our apartment. Why was I telling her that? I felt so
awkward.

“Ok.” She blushed again and looked at
the floor. Her book was still open.

“I’m sorry.” I extended my right hand.
“My name is Verloren Fagan. My friends and I own the
store.”

She extended her trembling right hand.
When our hands touched, I felt the pulse, and saw a flash of
images. All of this sensory stimulation happened too quickly for me
to keep up, but the last image stayed with me: the child fairy,
Sara with something on her hands. Then I lost it.

It occurred to me that Jessica hadn’t
mentioned these flashes. Was she hiding that from me? I looked at
the girl. She stared at our hands, her breath short, and her eyes
widening. Slowly she looked up at me. The pull was as strong as
gravity. I felt as if I might fall into her. I had to lean
back.

“Sorry,” I said.

Her eyelids fluttered and she looked at
our hands. Finally she introduced herself. “Uh…Ash
Nicely.”

“Ash Nicely,” I said, recovering enough
composure to speak. “How unusual. Is that your given name?” I felt
the pull deep in my chest. .

“It’s Ashley, but I go by Ash,” she
said. “I’m a big fan of scary movies. ‘Evil Dead’ is one of my
faves.” She smiled shyly. We kept looking at each other’s
hands.

Her aura was thickening, spreading.
Finally I saw the letters tattooed on her fingers. I turned her
right hand up to read the letters on the knuckles. My white skin
looked hideous next to hers.

“Vamp...” I said with a dumbfounded
look on my face for sure.

“…
ires,” she
said.

“Huh?”

“Vampires,” she said.

If there’d been any color in my face,
it would’ve drained out then. I was still holding her hand. My
trembling returned.

She put the book under her arm, held
both of her hands out, showing the full word across all eight
knuckles: V-A-M-P-I-R-E-S.

“Big scary movie fan.” She lowered her
hands, then grasped the book.

In the background Marilyn Manson sang
“If I was your vampire…” I laughed out loud.

“How ironic?” I said. When I saw her
puzzled look, I added: “I…I…mean that song and your
tattoo.”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s a great
CD.”

I heard Jason. “Ah man, not
again!”

Then the smell hit me. Troll! Not now!
Surely Ash would smell it! The odor wouldn’t be as strong to her
because she didn’t know what she was yet. Self-awareness adds an
edge to our perceptions.

And here came Patti, walking up the
aisle toward us. Patti knew that the girl was still human, and
counted on that fact to protect her from any manhandling I had in
mind. She stopped in front of me, put her hand on her hip, and
said: “Hey, Verloren I need a little help finding a
book.”

My breathing grew rapid and shallow.
Patti was enjoying this. I glared at her. It took everything in me
not to kill her right there. I held my breath and clenched my jaw.
“Why don’t you have Jason help you, Patti?”

“He looked a little busy so I thought I
would ask you.”

“I’m kinda busy right now
too.”

“I see. Too busy for me,” she
said.

I turned to Ash. “Sorry. I’ll be right
back.”

Ash nodded. She glanced at Patti,
scrunched her eyebrows together, and held her breath.

I grabbed Patti’s wrist and pulled her
down the aisle with as little commotion as possible. When we were
far enough away I swung Patti around roughly in front of me, and
hissed: “What the fuck do you think you are doing? I told you to
stay out. Now get the fuck out of my store and if I ever catch you
in here again I will send you to the next world. Do you
understand?”

She stared stupidly at me.

“Let me be as clear as crystal. If I
see you in here again, I will kill you.” I pointed to the door.
“Now get out.”

She smiled at me. Then turned and
walked to the front of the store. She waved at Jason, calling, “Bye
Jason see ya later.” Then she left.

I heard Jason grumble. “Fucking bitch.
Where’s the air freshener?”

I walked back to Ash. She looked at me
then back to the book. She’d smelled the troll. “I don’t want to be
rude,” she said, “but your friend…”

“She stinks,” I blurted.

She laughed, covering her mouth.
“Sorry.”

“No it’s all right. She’s not a friend.
More of a nuisance.”

I wanted her to know. I wanted her to
find out what she was. I wanted her to be in my life. If the Quatre
wouldn’t let me be with her, I wanted at least to be around her. I
couldn’t understand this attraction, but I knew what I wanted. I
would help her learn about herself, then she might learn who I was
without being shocked by it. That was my hope.

I looked up at the shelves and recalled
what we’d been saying before the Troll arrived. “Uh, like I was
saying if you are interested in those workshops, they hold them
here every weekend. You are more than welcome to
attend.”

“Sure I’d like that.” Her eyes met
mine—magnet to metal.

“How bout I take your book and ring it
up,” I said. “We have some brochures up there with all the
information. They have the dates and times.” She walked in front. I
followed, inhaling her scent. She was still human. It made my mouth
water.

That’s when I had noticed the music had
stopped. I looked over at the stereo; Jason was messing with it. He
looked at me with a devious smile. I shook my head at him. I was
about to say something when the music started up again. A dramatic
love song. Jason cranked up the volume. He turned, tilted his head
back, put a hand on his chest, extending the other toward Ash, then
he sang as badly and loudly as he could. I growled. Jason got out
of my way. He laughed as I shut it off, then disappeared down an
aisle.

I turned to Ash, and found that she was
blushing and giggling. She watched me as she covered her mouth. Her
laughter stopped. We stared at each other.

Finally I broke the tension, “Sorry
about that. Jason can be a goofball.” We could still hear his faint
voice singing the love song.

When we finally reached the counter, I
gave her the brochures. I looked at the clock. “I hope you don’t
mind, but it’s closing time,” I said. “I should lock up when you
leave. I’ll follow you to the door.” The pull of her scent and her
aura were almost too much for me. I wanted to grab her and pull her
close. I wanted to preserve her scent. I blinked and shook my head
trying to snap out of this bizarre trance.

When we reached the door I raced ahead
and held it open for her.

“See you Saturday,” she said, waving
the flyer. She gave me a bashful smile, and headed for her
car.

“I’ll be here.”

She looked over her shoulder and smiled
at me again, this time in mid-blush. As the door closed I turned
off the “open” sign. I watched as she fished in her pockets for her
keys. I locked the front door. With her back still toward me I
lifted my right hand to my face and inhaled. Her scent was still
there where we’d touched. It was too much.

I turned to see Jason leering. “You’re
going to follow her, aren’t you?”

I walked past him toward the door to
the apartment. He followed. I hurried to my bedroom and grabbed my
leather jacket. As I came out clutching my sunglasses, he spoke in
an entirely different tone: “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I just have to know what she is. It‘s
driving me nuts.” I jogged down the hall.

“
You want to know what she
is? Or is it more that you want her? Curiosity killed the cat, you
know!” Jason called after me.

Out back I jumped on my black crotch
rocket, and it roared to life. As I came around to the front lot I
saw her car pulling out. I followed.

Chapter 6

WINTER KISS

It wasn’t that cold for early December.
I laid down on the tank of the bike trying to block the wind. My
sunglasses protected my eyes from the cold air’s sting, and my
obsession kept the rest of me from freezing. I just hoped it
wouldn’t snow.

I followed her out of the city and
across the Ohio state line. Soon after she pulled off the highway
and onto a country road. Hanging back, I shut off my headlight. She
turned onto a winding road that followed a river. The area was
wooded, and the houses were few and far between. The darkness
helped me remain invisible, but it did the same with her. I lost
sight of her car. I followed the twists and turns, then came upon a
straight stretch. That’s when I spotted the mobile home. It stood
close to the edge of the road and had a small detached garage. Her
car sat in the driveway. There she was, nearing the front door of
the mobile home. She looked toward me, confused, and clutching her
shopping bag. What she saw was a dark figure on a lightless
motorcycle riding past her on a December night.

Even in the dark I could see her aura.
My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. I slowed
the bike and continued down the road for about a mile. Finally I
turned around, drove back about half the distance to her place,
then killed the engine. From there I coasted quietly until I was
only a few hundred feet from her trailer. I stopped and pushed the
bike into the woods. I pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head,
shoving my hair back too.

The leafless trees stretched their
branches high, their leaves disintegrating beneath my feet. I
followed a steep slope down through the woods to a cleared, level
area. In the midst of the clearing lay the remains of a bonfire and
a few lonely beer cans. Just beyond the clearing was a
river.

To my right the land went back up
toward the trailer. A steep slope with steps led up to the garage.
The lights in the trailer were on, and a lone light bulb shone
above the back door. It was low wattage, and most of the light came
from the moon filtering through the tree branches.

Suddenly the back door opened. I heard
her voice. It was higher pitched than it had been in the store, and
she spoke quite softly. It was the tone one might use with a child.
Somewhere nearby a dog growled. I turned to run toward the river,
then realized: it was the dog she was talking to. The dog had heard
me, and now it ran toward me.

Ash yelled out: “Pogo stop!”

I ran up a tree trunk so fast that her
human eyes couldn’t catch it, but the dog did. There he was at the
base of the tree, barking. He was going to bust me.

“Pogo get back here!” She started for
the stairs. “Would you leave those stupid raccoons
alone!”

I looked down at the dog that had
doomed me—a fifteen-pound Boston Terrier strutting as if he were
many times his size. The dog only did what came naturally: he
defended his owner. I looked out at another tree maybe ten feet
from me, and leapt to it. The dog followed, barking.

Ash was trotting toward the dog. “Come
on. Don’t make me carry you back into the house. Do your business
and get moving, mister. It’s cold.”

She came so close that I could smell
her. I wondered if it was her scent that drew me. I held my breath
as she reached down to grab the dog. At that point I started to
move, though I had no idea why. My heart beat so hard I thought she
might hear it. I started silently down the tree. It was impulse. My
body wanted to be near her. Her aura lit the night air around her.
It looked like a solid, individual entity. I wanted to touch it.
Mindlessly I stretched my arm toward her. A deep ache filled my
chest. I exhaled silently, stifling a moan. I couldn’t fight her
magnetism. It was physically pulling me. As she scolded the dog I
crouched on a branch about five feet above her. I grasped a branch
to steady me, and stretched my other arm toward her. Was her aura
solid? That’s what I wanted to know.