- - End of All Things, The (25 page)

“Want to play cards?” Justin asked. “Loser washes dishes?”

“You’re on.”

The dishes never did get washed that night. They played several hands as the score was so even. Then game time was over because Justin had said something that made Carly giggle, and enchanted by the sound, he had kissed her. The kiss grew, continued, and deepened until they both were panting against each other’s lips. 

Justin picked Carly up and deposited her on his sleeping bag inside the tent. He pulled the zipper closed and then returned to Carly—returned to those hot, drugging kisses. His hand slid up her torso, slowly, giving her time to object before he reached his goal. Carly’s response was to whip her T-shirt over her head and tug at his.

Justin had such a beautiful chest, despite the scars and tattoos. She ran her hands over it, glorying in the sensation of his skin beneath her fingertips. His skin was a creamy golden color, warm and firm with muscle. In the confines of the tent, he looked even larger than normal. Carly’s breath came faster.

Justin traced the outline of her bra with his fingertip and looked up at her with a question in his eyes.

“Yes. Oh, God, yes.”

He slipped his hands around Carly’s back and fumbled with the clasp of her bra. He frowned in concentration, tugging at it this way and that. He muttered a curse and craned his neck to look over her shoulder.

The guy could pick a lock in seconds but couldn’t unhook a woman’s bra. His claim about being picky seemed much more legitimate at that moment. 

“I’ll get it,” Carly reached up behind her back and unfastened it.

Justin swore again, softly, as she took it away. “God, Carly . . . You’re so beautiful.”

She knew she was anything but beautiful in her current state; her ribs were visible under her skin, and her hipbones poked up sharply. But she was touched and delighted he thought so. He bent his head to kiss, lick, and suck at her flesh until she forgot her thought, until she forgot everything, until she was squirming and moaning beneath him.

Justin popped the button on her jeans and unfastened her belt. She heard the sound of a zipper. Hers or his? It didn’t matter. Soon they were both bare, and she sighed in bliss at the sensation of his skin against hers. Her fingers dug into his back as his hands swept lower, and she explored him as well, making him moan, his hot breath tingling on her skin.

Justin reached beneath his pillow and pulled out a foil packet. 

“Let me do it,” she said.

He handed it to her and lay back against the sleeping bag as she smoothed it over him. Justin didn’t roll back on top of her. Instead, he gripped Carly’s hips and guided her over him. They both sighed with pleasure when she settled down.

Carly had always felt slightly awkward in that position, but with Justin’s hands helping her keep the delicious rhythm, the way he leaned up so he could kiss her, and the way he enveloped her body with his own, she loved it.

He slipped a hand down between their bodies, and she burst into gasps of pleasure as her body pulsed with bliss. “Ah, fuck, Carly,” he ground out and then dropped his forehead against her shoulder while he shuddered. 

They both sagged down onto the sleeping bag, limp and exhausted. She lay on his chest, gasping for air. He rolled over to gently deposit her on the sleeping bag. “Back in a moment,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Justin returned with a warm cloth and soft words. She let him take care of her, still floating in a humming cloud of pleasure. He unzipped the bag, tucked her inside of it, and pulled her bag over to zip them together. “
Our
bed, now,” he murmured.

Carly might have agreed. She wasn’t sure. She drifted off into a sweet sleep of comfort and good dreams.

“Morning, Carly.” Justin nibbled on her ear.

“Mmm,” Carly replied, snuggling closer to his warm body. And then she discovered he was a lot more awake than she was. She reached under the pillow and found another packet.

It was slow and sweet, and Carly dozed back off when he left the sleeping bag and waking when he came back with breakfast. She sat up and accepted the cup of coffee. She pushed her tumbled hair off her face and took a sip. “Delicious. Wow! Breakfast in bed. You could really spoil a girl, you know.”

“I’d like that,” Justin murmured. He lay down beside her with his own plate. 

Carly heard sniffing outside the tent. “Is Sam mad he didn’t get to sleep in here last night?”

Justin chuckled. “Yeah, I’d say so. He gave me a rather indignant glare and refused to look at his breakfast bowl until I’d walked away. Shadowfax, on the other hand, seems to be cheering us on. She sniffed me and gave that snickering sound.”

“Well, as long as the horse approves.”

Justin seemed to have forgotten his own breakfast. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in weeks.”

“Hmm, I wonder what could have made me smile?” Carly stretched and sighed.
Deliciously sore
. She wondered if he’d be willing to give it another go before they broke camp.

Alas, no. They had slept in late and needed to get on the road. Carly picked up her pillow and saw five more condoms stashed beneath. She looked over at Justin in astonishment. “Were you just being
really
optimistic?”

Justin grinned. “Maybe a little.”

Carly grinned back at him. “You owe me five more.”

“That is a debt I will be glad to pay.” Justin cupped the side of her face in his hand and looked into her eyes, his own intent and searching. “No regrets?”

Carly didn’t even blink. “None.”

He nodded and then leaned in for a kiss, burying his hands in her hair. The kiss stretched on, neither of them willing to break it.

Sam butted his head inside the tent and gave an irritated “Hmph!”

They parted and laughed. Carly crawled out of the tent and grabbed some clothing from the pack. “Justin, I’m going down to the creek.”

“I’ll come with you. Let’s pack up first, and we’ll park the wagon on the bank where we can keep an eye on it.” Justin was becoming much more cautious with more people around. He rarely let Carly go anywhere out of his sight.

The creek was hip deep, and the water was icy cold. Carly shivered through her bath and darted back up onto the bank as soon as possible. She pulled on her clothes and searched through her pack. “Justin, do you know where my hair ties went?”

There was a long pause. Carly turned to him and saw a flash of guilt on his face. “I . . . uh . . . I like your hair loose.”

“So you took my hair ties?”

His smile was sheepish. “Sort of. I kind of made sure they got lost.”

“Justin!”

He strode up out of the water and used his towel to dry his hair first.

“Are you hoping to use your sexy body to distract me?” Carly demanded, her hands on her hips.

“Is it working?”

She struggled to suppress a smile. “A little.”

Justin turned around and gave his bottom a little shake in her direction. He looked back at her over his shoulder. “Are you distracted yet?”

Carly laughed. “Yes, now I’m officially distracted. But I’ll probably be mad at you again around lunch time, so as a preemptive measure, you may want to get naked as soon as we stop.”

“If I must.”

“Oh, you must! You must!”

Justin pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I missed you so much, Carly.”

“I missed you, too.”

They started off down the road, and Carly took a deep breath. “Isn’t it beautiful today?”

Justin smiled at her. “It certainly is. But that reminds me of something we need to talk about.”

A worried frown flitted across her face. “What do you mean?”

“We’re not going to make it to the South before winter, Carly.”

She was faintly alarmed. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to find a nice, old farm house with thick walls and working fireplaces and a comfortable barn for Shadowfax. I’d like to try to get through North Dakota because the winters can be very harsh there, but I’m not sure we’ll make it. We have to have some time to gather up the supplies we’ll need before winter.”

Carly glanced back at the wagon.

“Not just food. Though we could use more of that, just to be on the safe side. We’ll need firewood, and hay for Shadowfax to eat.”

“Can’t we just give her the pellets?”

He considered. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe there’s something in the hay they need.”

“I’ll find out. I got a book on horses at the library.”

“Smart thinking,” he said and her cheeks pinked a little at his praise. “What we have to think about is the fact we’ll be essentially snowed in until the spring thaw. There won’t be any snowplows to come and clear the roads. We won’t be able to move on until early summer, once we’re sure there won’t be any surprise blizzards that could catch us in the open.”

Carly thought of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books she’d loved so much as a child.
The Long Winter
had told of the family’s suffering during a South Dakota winter, when the whole town starved because they couldn’t get trains through to deliver supplies. The idea was terrifying.

“Isn’t there any way we could get a vehicle and hook up a horse trailer for Shadowfax? So maybe we could get farther?”

Justin shook his head. “We don’t know if she’s ever been inside a trailer before. If she gets scared, she could thrash around and hurt herself. Secondly, we’d have to stop every few miles and find a new vehicle as we encounter pile-ups and traffic jams. It wouldn’t help us. And that’s even assuming we can find a vehicle that still works after sitting unused for so long.”

“You said something about that before. What do you mean? Does gas actually go bad?” She’d never thought of gas having an expiration date like a gallon of milk.

“It can. Sitting in a car like that, the biggest concern would be water contamination. The tank could gather condensation from heating up during the day and cooling off at night. If the tank isn’t airtight, part of the liquid can evaporate off, making the fuel thick and gunky.” Justin paused for a long moment and she was surprised to see him blush a little. “Speaking of dependability, how would you feel about going on the pill? I’m still going to use condoms, but it would be wise to have a backup.”

“I can’t,” Carly said. “It makes me really sick. I tried when I was with Noah. My doctor even tried me on some of the low-hormone types, but it didn’t help. They make me nauseated and moody.”

“All right. We’ll use a spermicide. I’ll just have to stop at a pharmacy the next town we visit.”

Carly had always wanted to have kids of her own. She liked children. To her, they represented the best humanity had to offer with their curiosity, their potential, and their simple joy in life. That had been one area of contention between her and Noah. His emphatic insistence he never wanted kids was one of the reasons she finally came to the conclusion they just weren’t compatible. “Do you ever want to have kids, Justin?”

Justin’s jaw tightened. “I never did; I didn’t think I’d make much of a father. Now, it seems almost criminal to bring a child into this world.”

She hated to admit it, but he was right. But knowing it didn’t ease the ache in her heart. It would be wrong to bring a baby into this uncertain life, where danger lurked around every corner and there was no guarantee of surviving to see the next day. 

Carly realized suddenly that all of the old child killers, like disease and infections, would return due to the lack of vaccinations and antibiotics. Diaper rash would no longer be a minor irritation; it could turn fatal. Tooth infections, ear infections, allergies. Even something as minor as a stomach upset could kill if there wasn’t a medication to stop diarrhea.

Carly realized she might be witnessing the sunset of humanity. They weren’t prepared to care for the next generation without their modern conveniences and medicines. The percentage of children who didn’t live long enough to have children of their own could be too high to sustain their species.

And what of childbirth itself? A woman dying while giving birth had been a rarity in the United States, but without skilled obstetrics, that number could rise to what it was back in the old days, or that of undeveloped nations. Carly’s own mother probably would have died without modern medicine. She’d needed a cesarean to deliver Carly. Carly felt a cold shiver of unease creep down her spine. What if she had the same problem her mother had? How would she know? She didn’t even know what the problem had been; she’d only been told about her difficult delivery when she’d asked about the scar on her mother’s abdomen.

Justin watched the expressions flicker over Carly’s face. “What are you thinking?”

“That you’re right. We need a backup.”

“I’m sorry,” Justin said, correctly interpreting the wistful sadness that had lingered in her eyes for a moment.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Carly replied, but didn’t meet his eyes. “I probably liked the
idea
of kids more than I would have liked the reality.”

“I think you would have made a wonderful mother.”

“And you would have made a great dad.”

Justin snorted. “What do I know about raising kids? You’re set. You had a great family and know what good parents are supposed to be like. I would have no idea what I was doing.”