Empty Net (40 page)

Tate knew something was wrong when the locker room door flew open and in stomped Eleanor Adler.

The first thing he noticed was her appearance, of course. How could he not? She was beautiful, stunning even. She wore a white button-up shirt with a red polka dot skirt that came
up over her swollen belly and under her breasts. Her shoes were tall and bright, and reminded Tate of Audrey. She had the same matching polka dot red heels; she had worn them out with him, when they looked around West End at the different buildings that were vacant.

Looking back up at Elli’s face, he saw that she had her hair down, and her makeup was smeared on her face as if she had been crying. That was when he definitely knew something was wrong.

Everyone watched as Elli stomped by them. The locker room went silent when she reached Shea. He was talking to Lucas and wasn’t paying attention to his distraught wife who stood in front of him, until she threw what looked like sheets of small square pieces of paper.

“Whoa, Elli baby! What’s wrong?!” Shea said quickly standing up. Since they were suiting up for their morning practice, he towered over her with his skates on. They would be flying out the next day for their games out west, but Tate didn’t think that Elli cared about any of that. She only cared about ripping Shea a new asshole, and Tate couldn’t wait for the show.

“Let me tell you what’s wrong, Shea Adler!” she yelled, picking up one of the pieces of paper and shoving it in his face. “I was at the doctor’s as you very well know, and well, the doctor said, ‘Hey, let’s see if we can hear a heart beat!’ I was like Yeah, can’t wait, but then he puts the thing on my belly and guess what.”

Tate almost said “What,” but thankfully Shea beat him to it, “What?”

“The doctor smiled, and said, ‘I hear two strong heart beats.’ ”

“Is that good?” Shea asked confused.

Tate knew that Shea had fucked up before Elli even started screaming, “Shea Adler I am pregnant with twins!
Twins!
Not one! But two! Two! Do you understand what that means!?”

“You’re having two babies? I made two babies?” he said, his eyes wide as his hand sat on
his chest, but that only seemed to make Elli more angry.

“It means that I will have four children all under the age of two while you are skating around with no cares in the world!”

Everyone looked up at Shea, waiting for his answer, and when he said, “I made two babies?” Elli let out a loud scream that shook Tate’s ear drums before she stomped back out of the locker room. Tate glanced back up at Shea to see a slow grin go across his face. He looked around the room, and then nodded his head.

“That’s right, boys, I made twins. Two babies, one shot,” he said with his chest puffed out.

“Oh shut up, Adler. Most of us in here have made babies,” Lucas said with a chuckle.

“That is right, but have you made two? Because I have,” Shea said with the cocky confidence only he could have. Everyone around the room was laughing, joking around with Shea and congratulating him, but Tate sat in his locker area, strapping on his pads as jealousy ate at him. Tate would never have that opportunity to make two babies or even one if Audrey’s condition wasn’t correctable.

For the first time that fact bothered Tate.

The next day after practice, Tate sat between Phillip and Erik at the Assassins regular table at J. Alexander’s. It was one of their favorite restaurants, and it never failed to satisfy the appetites of hungry players who came in to carbo load after practice. Today was no different, Tate’s food and the company were great.

He munched on his salad as Erik told his story of the night before.

“… But then I got her bent over the rail of the stairway, right?” he said softly while everyone listened intently, “and man, I’m giving it to her, hard, then all of a sudden she starts making this noise, and I’m like, what the fuck? So I don’t know what I’m thinking but I keep going, and she gets louder and louder, until finally she is full out making goat noises. I had to stop, I was laughing so hard, because I swear I was convinced I was fucking a goat.”

Everyone lost it, and Tate was glad they were in the back of the restaurant where no one could hear them. He shook his head, watching his teammates laugh as he ate. They were a group of nuts, but they had become family and he loved them all the same.

“That’s why I am a one-woman man,” Shea said with a grin. “I know her noises and always will, no crazy surprises, thank God.”

“Whatever, dude, you wish you were me,” Erik teased, but even Tate knew Shea didn’t. “No way. I’ve lived those years,” Shea said with a laugh. He glanced over at Tate and smiled. “You know, when I was your age, Tate, a steady girlfriend was the last thing on my mind, but boy, didn’t you choose a great one.”

Tate nodded. “She’s perfect,” he said while Lucas nodded. “But something has been bothering me,” he found himself saying.

All eyes rested on him, and when he glanced across the table at Lucas, he wished he hadn’t said anything.

“What? Trouble in paradise?” Phillip teased.

“All of you know how I want to have children. I have never been quiet about that. Well, Audrey can’t have kids, and I’ve sat here and told her it doesn’t bother me, that maybe something can be fixed and she will be okay. But today,” he said, glancing up at Shea, “when Elli came in pregnant with twins, I hoped that one day that would happen for me, only it won’t.
Not with Audrey’s condition.”

No one said anything. Lucas’s mouth was hanging open. Shea looked equally stunned, and Erik and Phillip looked bored.

“Audrey can’t have kids?” Lucas finally asked.

“Who cares if she can’t?” Phillip said with a shrug. “She’s great, you really like her, just adopt when it’s time to do all that. It really isn’t a big deal. Kids aren’t everything. It’s about finding that person who makes you happy.”

Ignoring Lucas, Tate nodded. “See, that’s what I thought too, but I think I might want my own child.”

“Then break up with her, don’t let it go any further,” Erik said with a shrug. “She is great, you know I like her a lot, but if you are second-guessing it now, what’s going to happen ten years from now when you have two little Chinese kids who aren’t yours and you want your own?”

“Hey, asshole, that’s my sister-in-law,” Lucas sneered. “And if you knew this before you started with Audrey,” he said to Tate, “then it isn’t fair to hold that against her. She told you her issues, and you accepted them.”

“I know,” Tate said, feeling like Lucas was attacking him, which in a way he had every right to. “I love her, Lucas, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her, but I cannot shake this feeling that one day I’ll want my own child.”

“That’s not fair,” Lucas said again, with a shake of his head.

“It would be a deal breaker for me.” Everyone turned to Shea, and his eyes were intently on Tate. “I knew that I wanted kids when I started this thing with Elli. She wanted them too, and we were good. Now if after we started trying and she couldn’t have a child, that I would
understand and cope with, but if she told me right out before that she couldn’t, I would’ve let her go.”

“I know,” Tate said, “but I don’t want to let Audrey go. She makes me happy; she makes my life worth living, guys. My heart is invested in her, and I don’t want anyone else.”

Tate could tell that no one knew what to say, until Lucas said, “If you are totally devoted to her, then you would take the good with the bad. Audrey is a fantastic, sweet person. She will love you with everything inside her, and she deserves a guy who will love her just the same. If you don’t think you can, then cut her loose, dude, don’t hurt her anymore by making her think this is for real.”

Lucas held Tate’s gaze for a long time, then shook his head, stood up and threw money on the table before walking away.

“Shit,” Tate muttered as he got up and followed Lucas out of the restaurant. “Lucas,” he called out. “Just a minute.”

Lucas looked back and waited for him at the doorway. When Tate reached him, they both walked out to the parking lot before Tate said, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Lucas shook his head. “I don’t want Audrey to get hurt again, and I thought you were the guy to make sure that never happened, but now you say this?”

“I am just thinking about the future, Lucas. I don’t want to hurt her. I love her.”

“You keep saying that, but when you love someone you love all of them. Even the fucked up parts! Hell, look at me and Fallon! She was a walking train wreck before she finally got her head out of her ass. And now look at us, we are so fucking happy.”

“I understand that, and I know that I won’t be happy without her,” Tate said, his chest hurting. He didn’t want to leave Audrey. He didn’t want to live life without her, but how was
that fair for him to feel like this and not say anything? That was the whole point of having friends, so that he could talk about things that bothered him.

“Have you told her?” Lucas asked.

“No. This just crossed my mind this morning. I haven’t even thought it through. I just wanted to get everyone’s input and then I was going to talk to her about it if it is still bothering me. I’m not going to hurt her, Lucas. I accepted it when she told me, I’m just thinking more about what it means now.”

“No one can make your mind up for you, Tate. You gotta do it. Is she worth it? Can you trade in one thing to have everything else? One thing you can be certain of—Audrey will love you for the rest of her life.”

“I do.”

Lucas shrugged. “Then I have nothing else to say. This is all on you.”

Tate watched as Lucas walked off, and didn’t move until little flakes of snow started to fall. Walking to his truck, he had the familiar feeling and his heart began beating in overtime. His palms were sweaty, and even in the cold, he was starting to sweat along his back. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but it wasn’t working. He sat in his truck for a long time, not only because he was scared to put the key in the ignition, but also because he was thinking about his whole day. He had spent the morning with Audrey, wrapped up in her warmth, their legs tangled and their bodies touching in the most delectable places. She had made him breakfast and then he had to go. He had never been as sure about anyone in his life as he made his way to the arena. He knew he was going to be with Audrey forever. He even planned to tell her he loved her that night, but then Elli walked in pregnant and he realized that was a dream he wasn’t going to be able to achieve.

What the hell was going on? Like Phillip had said, he could adopt, he had even told Audrey that, and it wasn’t as if he was against it. He just wanted to be with Audrey, forever.

“Man, I am an idiot,” he muttered, shaking his head.

Why did he even say anything to the guys? He knew his answer. He knew what he wanted, so why was he second-guessing himself? He never did this. He was always confident about his decisions, and his decision was to be with Audrey.

Children or no children.

It was her and him to the end.

He knew that nothing would change that either.

With a satisfied grin on his face, he started the truck on the third try and then drove back to his condo. Audrey had said that morning she was making some cupcakes and she needed him to test them. He had no problem with that. This was the life he wanted. He didn’t need anything more, just Audrey and her cupcakes. One day, after they had been married and enjoyed life with each other, they would see if she could have kids. If not, then they would adopt.

He had made a big deal out of something that didn’t need to be a big deal. He was such an idiot.

Shaking his head, he pulled into his driveway and grabbed his bag. He headed to his door, opened it and threw the bag inside. That was the only reason he’d come to his place. Then he shut the door and turned to Audrey’s. He opened her door with his key and went inside.

“Lucy, I’m home,” he said in a horrible Desi Arnaz accent. They had been watching a lot of old
I Love Lucy
reruns. That Lucy was a hoot, and hearing Audrey’s commentary on the show was even better.

When he passed the couch, he saw her at the counter with the phone in her hand. She
looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She had been crying, her nose red and her eyes swollen. He knew right away that the conversation at lunch had made its way back to her.

“You told Lucas about me not being able to have kids?”

Fuck.

All Tate could think was that he had really fucked up.

Panic stirred in his chest, his palms started to sweat all over again, and his heart rate tripled. The way he was feeling at that moment was different from anything else he had ever felt. Of all the anxiety attacks he ever had, it never felt like the world was closing in on him, but now it did. He didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t sure how he would fix this or because he could see the hurt in Audrey’s eyes and knew things were about to get really bad. He never meant for her to find out, and he definitely never meant to hurt her.

“You told Lucas, Tate? Lucas! Didn’t you know that he would tell Fallon? I just had to explain my whole situation to her! Do you know how hard that was?!” she yelled. Tears streaked down her face as her lip quivered. Not looking up at him, she whispered, “She said that you were questioning the guys about me.”