Empty Net (36 page)

“I’m going home,” he said, moving away from her again. “I don’t have anything else to say to you, Audrey.”

“Well, I still have a lot to tell you! So fucking stop for a minute and talk to me! Act like a damn adult!”

Tate turned quickly, almost knocking her off balance as he got in her face and said, “Leave me the fuck alone.”

Audrey froze.

She could see in his eyes that he was extremely upset, but she didn’t understand why. Not saying a word, he held her gaze, his eyes wild as he took a deep breath. Then he closed his eyes, running his hands through his hair as he let out a frustrated yell, scaring Audrey to the core. Turning away, he continued walking down the busy highway, cars passing by quickly, but she didn’t think he cared.

Something was very wrong, but he had no desire to talk to her about it, and it pissed her off to the extreme that he wouldn’t. Weren’t they supposed to be able to tell each other anything and everything? What the hell was his problem?

Fuming, she made her way back to the car, got in, and slammed the door behind her. She then let out her own frustrated yell before starting the car and driving off. For once she didn’t touch her iPod, or even her radio. She rode in silence, begging herself not to cry.

By the grace of God, she made it to Fallon’s without crying, but the drive was a blur and she
knew she wouldn’t remember it later. Her mind raced trying to figure out what the hell she had done to Tate. She had never seen him that angry and she didn’t understand what happened. Hell, she knew she never would until they talked.

If he even wanted to talk to her.

Audrey made her way up the driveway to Fallon and Lucas’s house. She knocked on the huge door and let out a long breath as she waited for someone to answer. When it opened and Aiden wrapped his arms around her waist, she felt a little better, but not much.

Picking him up in her arms, she kissed him hard on his cheek before letting him down. He then led her into the house and toward the kitchen. Something smelled fantastic, but for once she didn’t care what Fallon had made. She was debating if she should even stay. Maybe she should go back home and try to talk to Tate. Surely after a long walk in the cold, he would have calmed down by now. But should she? She didn’t deserve his angry lashing out, but it wasn’t like when Levi would just yell for no reason. This was different and she needed to fix it.

But how?

When she and Aiden entered the kitchen, Fallon was at the counter, Lucas behind her, kissing her exposed shoulder. They were the picture of happiness and lust, and it made her miss Tate more.

“Mom! A.A. is here!” Aiden yelled out, making both of them jump before looking up from the counter. Fallon smiled as she moved away from Lucas and toward her. She hugged her sister, and when she pulled away Fallon looked behind her before looking back at her.

“Where is Tate?”

“Well ‘hello’ to you too,” Audrey said dryly as Lucas gave her a sideways hug.

“Hey, how you doing?” Fallon said with a roll of the eyes. “Where is Tate?”

Audrey shook her head. “He didn’t come.”

“Why?” Lucas asked.

Audrey shrugged. “We got into a huge fight over my driving and he walked back home.”

“What?” Fallon said, her face transforming into the same confused expression as hers.

“He said I drove like a maniac and then left.”

Lucas pulled his phone out and then a moment later dropped it from his ear and then looked over at her. “He isn’t answering.”

“Yeah I know, I tried a few times too,” Audrey said sadly.

“What were you doing that he didn’t like?” Fallon asked.

“I was dancing, and singing, like always.”

“Well that is weird,” Fallon said, biting into her lip.

“No it isn’t,” Lucas said. Both women looked over at him as he went on. “He is really weird when it comes to riding in the car. I mean, who wouldn’t be?”

“Huh?” Audrey said. “What do you mean?”

“Well you know, with how his family died and all.”

It was as if Lucas had thrown her into the boards, knocking the air out of her. She couldn’t breathe and her vision blurred. Surely, she heard him wrong.

“What?” she gasped.

Lucas eyed her before looking over at Fallon, who wore the same worried expression he did.

“Please tell me you knew his family had been killed in a car accident, Audrey,” Fallon said slowly.

Audrey shook her head as she clutched her neck in shock. Tate had never said anything
about that. Quite the opposite! He never once said his family wasn’t alive anymore, but then again, she realized, anytime they came up, he always changed the subject. What the hell? Not saying a word, she made her way out of the house and into her car while Fallon and Lucas yelled after her. She ignored them. She had to leave, she had to talk to Tate.

She had to find out why he’d never told her.

She had to make sure he was okay.

What the hell had she done?

Tate was pretty sure he was about to pass out.

Along with being frozen from head to toe, his hands wouldn’t stop shaking and his heart was still beating in overtime. Tearing into the house, he slammed the door shut, and while rubbing his hands together for warmth, rushed up the stairs. When he reached his room, he threw off his coat. Then, in a daze, he went to the piano, dropped down onto the bench and opened the cover. He sat there feeling his hands touching the keys. Just to experience the normalcy of it.

Taking a deep breath, fighting against tears, Tate replayed his argument with Audrey as his hands moved freely against the keys. He couldn’t believe how careless she was in the car. She danced like she was on a dance floor. She sang at ear-piercing levels and was more focused messing with her player than on paying attention to the road. What if she had lost control of the car? What if she would have run into a car that was filled with a family?

What if he lost her too?

Taking in a shaking breath, he continued to play his mother’s favorite song, trying to get his mind off things he couldn’t change. Somewhere in the middle of the piece, he started to cry
as the thought of something happening to Audrey overwhelmed him. He had already lost his family due to someone’s stupidity, and he couldn’t lose Audrey; not now, not ever. When he couldn’t play anymore because of his shaking hands, he let his face fall in his hands as sobs ripped through him.

Would she even want him after the way he acted? He should have handled everything differently, but he couldn’t. His anxiety took over. His need to protect her, and his anger at her lack of consideration for herself made him act like a complete jerk. She probably didn’t understand his outburst, and how could she? Had he told her about his family? Nope, and how many openings did he have? A million? He should have told her weeks ago, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t utter the words that broke his heart every time he thought of them. He hadn’t even told her about his driving anxiety, even though he knew she would understand and wouldn’t think less of him because of it. She wouldn’t care. The only thing she would care about was helping him.

So why hadn’t he told her?

Was it a fear of having her know everything? No, it couldn’t be. He wanted her to know. Could it be because if he told her, it would be like living it all over again? She would have questions. She would want to know what happened, how she could help make it better. It was who she was. She was a helper. So what was the reason?

Tate held his face in his hands, the tears leaking out and landing on his legs. What if he lost her? What if she was so appalled by his outburst that she was done with him? She had dealt with idiots and assholes, and he had just turned into one. It could have been avoided if only he had told her the truth about his family. He had told her everything but that. How could he expect them to move forward if he couldn’t even tell her about something that had left a big hole in his
life?

He had to tell her.

And it had to be now.

Tate dropped his hands, stood up, and saw Audrey in the open doorway. She was bundled up in her coat, her nose red from the cold. Her eyes were glued to his and she looked scared as she moved her hands together and apart. He could tell that she was nervous and hated that he had done that to her. He never meant to.

“The door was unlocked,” she said quietly, her eyes never leaving his.

Tate nodded, his heart starting to beat fast again, while his body begged him to run and hide. Instead, he moved around the piano toward her, his eyes locked with hers. “I’m glad you are here,” he said softly, stopping before her. “I need to apologize.”

Audrey shook her head. “No, that can wait. I need you to tell me why I had to hear from Lucas and Fallon about your family. Why didn’t you tell me, Tate?”

He looked down at his hands, watching them shake as he took in quick gasps of air, not knowing what to say. He should have known that Fallon and Lucas would have said something, and he was sick with the fact that they had been the ones to tell her. He was supposed to be that person, not two people who had no clue about what really had happened.

I’m such an idiot, he thought, while his heart jackhammered against his chest. When her hands came into his, holding them tightly to make them stop shaking, he broke. His eyes filled with tears all over again as he lifted his face to see her better. “Did I do something to make you not want to tell me?”

He shook his head, still unable to look her in the eyes. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Do you not want to tell me?”

Tate shook his head again. “I do. I just …”

Her brows drew in as she shook her head, moving closer to him. “Tate, you’ve obviously been through a lot, and I understand it has to be hard to talk about. But I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me. Do you not trust me?”

“I do trust you.”

She still looked confused. “Okay, do you want to talk about it?”

“No, but I need to tell you.”

“You don’t have to, Tate.”

“I do,” he said, then led her across the hall to his room. He sat on the bed and brought her down beside him. He leaned against his knees, trying to catch his breath. His heart was going crazy, his breathing out of control, and his palms clammy with sweat. But he knew he had to do this. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before beginning to relive that horrible night.

“I was at a championship game when Elsa came running onto the bench, screaming to me. No one knew what was going on, but I knew something was wrong. I skated over to her and only heard the last part of what she said. ‘There’s been an accident.’ ” Still not looking at Audrey, he shook his head. “She said that my family was in it, and that we needed to get to the hospital right away. I was in a trance, I guess, getting out of my gear, getting into her car, and during the whole ride to the hospital. I didn’t know they were dead, but I felt like something was seriously wrong. I had this feeling in my chest,” he said, holding his hand there. “It was as if I was losing them, and they were taking part of me with them. It was one of the most awful feelings I’d ever had. When I got to the hospital, it all got worse.”

Audrey had grasped Tate’s hand, and he squeezed it tight. He looked up to see her eyes pooling with tears. He too felt like crying, but he couldn’t, not now. He would never get through
it if he did. It was as if he was ripping open the wound and pouring salt into it with every word he said. Yet he had to go on.

“We lived in a small town, everyone knew everyone. The woman behind the hospital’s reception desk was one of my mom’s friends. She was crying. When I asked for my mom and dad, she shook her head, choking back tears while she pointed to a cop who stood with some doctors. I knew then that they were gone. Like a zombie, I approached them at the same time they turned to look at me. It was like a movie,” he said with an abrupt, disbelieving laugh, “and I was watching it all happen from the sidelines.

“The cop, I knew him—he had arrested me when I was a kid for breaking windows with hockey pucks. He cupped my shoulder and shook his head, then said, ‘I’m sorry, son, they have all passed.’ It’s funny that I can still remember that, huh?” he asked with an empty, soulless laugh. Audrey shook her head, her free hand cupping her throat as her eyes stayed locked with his. Without waiting for her to answer, he went on. “Then he told me that they were driving to the game and had to pick up Matilda from dance. They were running late, but I knew they would be …