Empath (Book 1 of the Empath Trilogy) (33 page)

We were on our second song when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I looked up from James’ shoulder and saw my father behind me.  “Can I cut in?”  We stopped dancing and I saw my mom beside him.  I guessed she was waiting for James.  I let go of James’ hand and had a moment to catch his eye.  He let one brow flick up speculatively, teasing just as he took my mom into a formal dance frame.  I barely quelled my laughter as my dad pulled me into his arms.

Dad and I danced for a while without saying anything.  He and I were both comfortable with silence and it wasn’t awkward.  He broke in first, “Claire honey, I’ve never seen you so happy.  Is it him?  Was it him at lunch that day?”

I thought back.  It had been him, except even more than that, it had been everything.  I felt like I had control over my life for the first time and it was empowering.  “James is a big part of it, but I am just really finding my way at school, Dad.  My studies are going well, I’m making friends and I think I have some direction for my future.”  I managed to tell him the important things without lying.  “Does that bother you that I am happier out of the house?”  I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

He shook his head, his smile fading only a little.  “No, I understand that you didn’t get a lot of say in your life up to now.  It must feel pretty good to be your own boss, huh?”  We shared a smile, and I rested my head on his shoulder.  It felt good to do it pain free for once.  

Dad and I danced for one more song and then it changed to a faster number.  Dad and I walked back to the table and I saw James and Mom heading back as well.  Mom looked happy.  I hoped James had worked his non-vampy magic on her.  I knew her well enough to know that once she saw that what we had was real, and that he was good to me, she would adore him.  I think she considered me socially deficient before so this change was hard to justify against her mental picture of me.

As we arrived at the table, James asked if Dad would like to help him grab another round of drinks.  Mom and Dad both wanted one.  The others were on the dance floor now that the alcohol was flowing.  I surprised myself asking to have a glass of champagne.  James met my eyes before giving me a nod. 

The men left and Mom and I were alone at the table.  “So,” I started.  “Tell me what you think of him.  Do you like him?”  It frightened me how important her answer was to me.

“Claire, he is certainly a charmer and he seems to be well versed in most subjects.  I can’t find anything wrong with him.” 

Her tone hinted that there was more she wasn’t saying.  “What?”

She looked up at the ceiling formulating her thoughts.  “I don’t know.  I can’t put my finger on it, but he is
too
perfect.  There’s something not right, he doesn’t talk about his parents or where he comes from.  He only talks about now, and you.  No past or future.  What’s he hiding?”

“Mom,” I leapt to his defense.  “James lost his parents when he was young.  You can’t hold it against him if he chooses not to focus on the past because it’s painful.  Living in the now has its advantages.  You ought to understand that,” I added, referring to my mom’s perpetual search for a hobby, home or group of friends that would make her happy for the moment.  It was something Dad and I usually avoided mentioning.

Mom was surprised at my boldness.  “Claire, what would make you say that?”

I surprised me too.  “I’m just saying that you aren’t the only one who doesn’t have it all figured out yet, Mom.”  Over her shoulder, I saw the men coming back with drinks.  I stood to take mine from James and he slid his arm around my waist.  Dad was well in James’ corner.  Mom would come around eventually, I hoped.

Dad, James and I talked about Europe.  Apparently, Dad had been all over Western Europe during his military career.  Before long, Mom was drawn in too and I saw her relaxing her guard.  It was a pleasure to see her start to enjoy herself.  A few times over the next hour, I actually saw her touch James’ arm as she laughed with him.  He had done it.

What a relief.  I felt the weight lift off my shoulders and let out a big sigh.  James glanced over curiously.  My hand tightened on his in response and he impulsively leaned down to kiss my cheek.

We didn’t stay much longer.  I was getting tired and had drunk two glasses of champagne, which should have put me under the table, but thanks to the strength afforded me by James’ consumption, I merely felt light.  We were hugging my parents good night when my mother spoke quietly in my ear.  “I hope you’re being careful.” 

Nodding automatically I kissed her cheek and let James wheel me out of the room.  The champagne in my stomach began to churn.  

Dad shook James’ hand and blinked a few times, sensing that things were changing.  “Take care of her.”

James replied with a firm handshake and a sober nod, “Above all else, Doug.”

Ch. 39

When we got back to our room, I took off my shoes, threw my wrap over the back of the chair in the corner and flopped down backward on the bed.  “Ow!”  I forgot about my hair clip.  Taking it out, I heard him snort from the edge of the bed. 

James had lost his coat and loosened his tie, undoing the first button on his shirt as he made himself comfortable.  Walking straight through the room he opened the balcony doors a crack for some fresh air.  On his way back he sat down on the edge of the bed and situated himself beside me, stroking my hair back from my forehead.  “They worry about you.  You are lucky to have such good parents.”

Startled, I turned to him.  “Did you…?”

“No, I didn’t have to use anything other than my eyes and ears to figure it out.”

“James, you know before you I’d never, um.”

“I know.”  He watched me, his expression untroubled. 

“Well, um.  Could it be possible that my mom could have reason to worry about us not using protection?  I mean, I didn’t really think about it.  It was stupid, wasn’t it?”  I couldn’t believe my thoughtlessness.  My life had finally gotten to where I could manage it, enjoy it even and now I might have gone and thrown that all away.  “That would explain my symptoms lately.” 

James had gotten up, pacing as I spoke, and came back to lean his knees on the edge of the bed.  He shoved his hands in his pockets as he blinked down at me.  Still not saying anything, he sighed and lowered himself to lie on his stomach beside me so that by turning his head we could see each other’s faces. 

When at last he spoke, my anxiety had reached critical. 

“Despite the legends, vampires cannot have children.”

At first I couldn’t speak.  The relief I would have expected at that news wasn’t without a touch of sadness.  “Really?  Never?  I heard there were situations where they did.” 

“Claire, think about it.  I don’t breathe for need, but out of habit.  My heart does not beat.  How can my body make living sperm?  That would take a creation that an undead being is not capable of.”

I found myself blushing at his mentioning the mechanics of the process and chastised myself for acting like a kid.  I tried to get the nerve to ask him what I had been thinking about all night.  “James.”

He turned his head toward me, hair falling to the side and his eyes were grey blue.  It was good to see him so relaxed, laying here with me.  “Yes, Love?”

I couldn’t look at him I was so dreading his answer.  Avoiding his eyes, I watched my hands fidget with the clip I’d taken from my hair.  “James, have you ever been married?”

He answered softly.  “No, I have not.”

My eyes sought his to gauge his reaction.  “Have you ever wanted to be?”

I saw him struggle with himself and I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me.  He got up, hands in his pockets again, and walked up to the balcony doors to watch the boats on the bay.  The lights at night were beautiful reflected on the water; I could see them from my perch on the bed.  It was a long time before James finally answered me, and when he did, he spoke to the water, his voice drifted inside to me.

“Love, have you ever lost someone close to you?”

With a conscious effort, I dropped my shields and tried to reach out to him to find what he was feeling.  They were so second nature to me, it took work to lower them all the way.  “Yes, I’ve lost an uncle and my mom’s parents.”  I felt nothing from him.  He was blocking me.

“I have lost everyone I have ever known and loved.  Henry is the only one in this world I call friend.”  His voice dropped to a whisper and I had to strain to hear it.  “Do you know what that is like?”

Coming up behind him, I reached around his back to put my hands on his chest and lay my head against his back.  His hands stayed in his pockets.  “I couldn’t know what that’s like although I do know what it’s like to be alone.  I have to say, a month ago, I never would have even thought about sharing my life with someone.  But now, I can’t imagine not sharing every minute with you.”  I had said more than I meant to, realizing I wasn’t sorry to have put it out there. 

He shifted under my hands and turned, wrapping his arms around my waist.  My head naturally fell into his chest and his chin rested on my head.  I waited for him to respond, nervous he might find my neediness too much.  After a minute I felt his hands start to rub my back and his lips slid down to run along my neck under my ear.  I gave up on the discussion of long-term commitments tonight.  I had said my piece and he knew my position on it; that was more than a lot of people could say for honesty in their relationships.  The ball was now firmly in his court. 

Ch. 40

Our flight wasn’t actually until later which we confessed the next morning, agreeing to meet my parents for breakfast when they called to say good bye again.  It was pleasant.  Mom and Dad really seemed to be trying.  For James’ part, I have to say he was as effective at seducing the parents as he was the daughter.  He seemed to find all of the right topics, from Dad’s love of furniture and his travels across Europe before I was born, to Mom’s unending desire to take a long trip to France. 

I just watched and marveled at how smooth James was handling my parents, wishing I could know for sure we would be able to do this again.  After a long good-bye at the restaurant with a particularly long conversation about quarter sawn wood that sent my mother and I to find sanctuary out of earshot, my dear vampire and I found ourselves wandering down the sidewalk, side by side. 

The inside of my head was buzzing, I assumed as an aftereffect of the clattering of dishes so prominent in the open establishment where we’d had our meal.  When we came to a crowd he reached out and, with one hand on the small of my back, maneuvered me automatically through until we reached a concrete planter that divided us for two store fronts.  Coming back together, I saw his hand come out again as if to steer me and I prickled at the gesture.

“Do you handle me as intentionally as you handled them?”  The insult came out before I could temper it.  The idea that he was manipulating me took hold and held me fast.

Perplexed, his hand froze inches from my back and he waited for more.  “What do you mean, ‘handled’?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.  It seems so perfect, it’s not possible for that to just happen.  You fit what we all want you to be.  You know what to say and when to say it.  You’ve done this before.”  I didn’t mean to keep poking at him, I couldn’t help myself.  My tongue had a mind of its own.  The love I felt for him twisted and I heard my own doubts come back to me in my head. 
James lived a life I didn’t belong in.
 
As soon as he was bored with me he would move on, not even hesitating to “clean up” the mess he’d made with a human. 
My mother’s statement joined in,
what’s he hiding?

His eyes took on a dark, angry glint.  “Claire I honestly don’t know what you mean.  I have been nothing but honest with you.”  His eyes flicked up over my shoulder.

He couldn’t look me in the eye.  “James, you’re a liar.”  I stopped walking.  Turning on him, I pressed my fingers into his chest, my voice rising.  “You’re holding something back from me.  Is it because you don’t think I can handle it?  Is someone here?  Or is it something about Scotland?  Or have you changed your mind and you don’t want to bring me anymore?  There’s something you don’t want to tell me and I know it.”  I accused him.

The flinch was barely perceptible and he tried to hide his face, turning it toward the street.  Furious, I lowered my voice.  “Why are you treating me like a child.  Do you remember who asked who for help?  How can you stand there and lie to my face about our situation?  I’m not some helpless little girl who needs to be handled.  I can take care of myself.”

So enraged that my hands shook, I backed away from where James remained, bone white and unmoving, except for the muscles in his jaw twitching convulsively. 

We were in the middle of the sidewalk on the main drag and I wheeled away from him in a huff.  I could tell he didn’t want to make a scene and took advantage.  Spinning on my heel I took off jogging briskly in the opposite direction.  Jogging for about ten minutes, I ended up on the rocky shoreline.  It was not as sunny and temperate as yesterday and I wished I had brought a raincoat. 

Alone, I could think again.  It was bizarre that I was still so angry when, less than an hour ago, I’d been more than pleased with James and my life.  How could my views on the complications of our relationship suddenly be so offensive?  It didn’t matter.  Still in a huff, I followed the path on the large boulders onto the point where the rocky ridge ended in the bay.

On the point, I was getting soaked from the cold spray coming off the lake as it struck the rocky outcropping and arced up into the air for the breeze to blow it onto me.  With a sinking in my stomach, I realized what had happened.  The realization sunk in, bringing with it a burning shame.  James and I had been out of touch, physical touch at breakfast and had not resumed physical contact afterward except for a few chance brushes.  The effects from last night’s feeding must have worn off for me, possibly on James as well, and my hypersensitivity was me channeling James again. 

It wasn’t until I turned around to go back, to explain what had happened if James would hear me out, that I realized I wasn’t alone anymore.  Two pale figures stood about fifty yards away between the shore and me.  I was trapped next to a foreboding lake that would alone bear witness to my end.  I closed my eyes and tried to picture James as clearly as possible in my head so that I could say goodbye to him in spirit, if not in the flesh.  With no one coming to help me this time, my fate was sealed.

Coming forward to meet my attackers I watched them mirror my advance.  We met in the middle of the outcropping, their pale figures motionless in dark coats as I stood shivering in my sweater and jeans, soaking wet.  The only things moving were their coats in the rising breeze.  I didn’t recognize the two vampires sent to kill me.  One was a tall male; dark hair, dark eyes.  He appeared to be in his late twenties.  The other was a hauntingly beautiful female with bright blond hair.  Her hair was soaked to her head like mine but instead of looking like a half drowned rat, she radiated a beauty a mortal woman would have sold her soul to possess.  Together, they slowly advanced on me and I stood my ground, watching the waves crashing into the rocks beside me. 

When we were within human hearing range, about twenty feet considering the roar of the surf, the female spoke.  “We have been sent to find you.  Our Master wishes to meet you.”

“Who is your Master?”  I assumed they worked for Bradley, though, the benefit of keeping them talking was that it could buy time.  Time for someone to happen by or James to come find me.  I felt a pang knowing this time he wasn’t coming.
How could he after the awful things I’d said?

The male spoke up.  “It is nothing we need speak of here.  Come with us, we can talk about it on the way to our Master.   He is eager to meet you.”  He took a few more steps forward and I stepped back, my heels dipped precariously over the edge.

I noticed the way they were maneuvering me; I was being herded.  In a few more feet they would be close enough to grab me without relying upon their speed.  My stubborn streak flared and I bristled at the notion that I would go quietly with them anywhere. 

I had options.  I had been practicing.  Maybe there was something I could do to help myself after all.  Slowly I brought down my defenses, trying to feel both of them.  Since we were alone on the rocks I didn’t anticipate any interference. 

Rapid flashes assailed me and I opened myself up to them.  They
were
sent to find me that much was true.  Except the Master they served didn’t want to meet me; he’d sent them to kill me.  The why of it didn’t matter and these two did not question the order.  On the contrary, the male had some ideas about my death that turned my stomach.  He liked to inflict pain, especially on women.  His excitement was building. I could feel it; he was getting ready to lunge.

“No, I’m not going anywhere with you.  There’s no one with you who wants me anything but dead.”  They exchanged a look and I saw the truth of my accusation confirmed. 

Panic took hold of me, clenching my insides within its iron grip.  Again I pictured James and his kind smile, that generosity I had grown to love and his constant desire to do what was right.  I choked back the emotion that threatened to erupt as I, again, glanced at the water and considered my choices. 

Given my pick between the water and the vampires, I made my decision.  If anyone were going to kill me, it would be me.  With one big gulp of lung filling air, I jumped.  It was sudden and sideways off the ridge, taking the vampires completely by surprise, enabling me to get in the water before they could stop me. 

Unfortunately, courage couldn’t overcome the shocking effect of the water engulfing my body and I took in a lungful of icy water as my head was pulled below the surface by the current.  The good news was that I completely forgot about the vampires as my body struggled to survive the rocky shoreline, strong undertow and icy waters.  At first I tried to fight the current while watching for someone at the surface to pluck me out.  It was only at that moment that it hit me I had not given up hoping James would come for me.  That he wasn’t coming hurt more than the water forcing my muscles into a non-functioning frozen state.

Drifting in the current, I began to think about all that was being taken from me by dying here.  I saw the life I could have had with James, laughing with Stephen and my parents coming to visit us in our home.  Hosting my family for the holidays, finishing school and traveling to see some of the places my father said everyone should see before they die.  That I should lose all of what could have been my life without a fight awakened my numb brain.  Anger surged through me and I kicked hard, working with the current to bring me to the shore across the bay, away from the vampires.

I kicked and pushed my way through the water, my muscles becoming too painful to be effective, making my movements halting and uneven.  Caught up in this last desperate fight to survive, I failed to notice movement in the water beside me until I felt hands grab my sweater and pull my head clear of the water.  Unable to focus through the water in my eyes and confusion from lack of oxygen, I struck weakly at the hands pulling me along through the water toward the shore.  Against the stronger grip holding me my feeble efforts were no match.  The waves gave me a few more parting blows as I was brought up onto the shore and with my soaked skin exposed to the cold air, I quickly passed out.

Ch. 41

Upon waking, I thought I was floating before I realized it was the softness of the bedding I was enveloped in.  I knew I wasn’t dead.  With regret, I remembered the iron hands that had pulled me from the icy waters of the lake.  That I had survived the water was a miracle in and of itself, it was too bad I would now die at the hands of a monster. 

Trying to pretend I was still sleeping, I peeked around and saw nothing personal to mark the place as a house.  I wondered if vampires would bring me to a hotel to kill me.  Then, I heard the sweetest sound in the world.  “Claire, you’re awake.”

I struggled to find the source of the sound having a hard time finding my way out with all of the blankets and crinkling pillows around me.  Why were the pillows crinkling? 

“Let me help you, I have hot packing all around you.  Your body temperature was so low I had to bring it up with what I could.”  Upon closer inspection, I could see the crinkling pillows were actually disposable heat pads that warm when you crack them.  They were rolled up and shoved around my body so tightly I couldn’t move.  The down comforter covering the whole thing was so heavy I was willing to bet it was more than just one.  “I raided housekeeping.”

“James? How did you find me?”  Batting the blankets down low enough to see over and spinning my head around, I finally located him and gaped at the sight.  He was deathly pale, his eyes shadowed and black with his hair disheveled and all out of place.  His clothes looked like he’d slept in them.  James stood beside the bed, observing me with an exhausted slump to his shoulders and ran his hand through his hair. 

“I was tracking you.  It was hard with the wind switching around the buildings and I had to backtrack a couple of times.  Then I felt this, I don’t know, something in my head and I knew it was you and that you were in trouble.  I even knew it was two vampires.  I…I felt them.”  He rubbed his eyes.  If he were human, I would say he needed sleep.  “I’ve called Henry and talked through what I think has been happening with you and I.  He agrees with me that you and I are bonded somehow; neither of us can explain it.”

“Oh,” I wasn’t sure I could process what he was saying so soon after coming back from the dead.  “It was you who pulled me out of the water?  Where were the other two?”

His voice was tight.  “Yes, I pulled you out.  The others had left you for dead.  They should have been right.  No human could have survived that long in the water.”  James roughed his knuckled against his jaw, agitated.  “You were in for almost ten minutes from the time you ‘called me.’”

Mercifully, my mind shut down and I went back under while it all swam through my poor waterlogged brain.