Emmerson's Heart (7 page)

Getting the fence fixed and riding back to the house, I was sad that the time had gone by too fast. I wanted to ride again. I wanted to learn everything. I wanted to be there working more, but after our project was done, I knew I wouldn’t be back there. I would be back under my father’s roof
, hiding the best I could.

After h
elping Paul put the horses away and turning them out into the small pasture south of the barn, I followed him around as we put the tack away. Biting my lip, I came around the corner to see an older version of Paul waiting there for us. His dark eyes were housed by some wrinkles and silvers were poking through the dark head of hair and showing his age. I had seen him a few times, but I stayed clear from him, from Will’s dad.

“Where in the hell were you?” His deep voice vibrated through him as he put his hands on his hips
while staring down his oldest son, the one who was a younger version.

“Out fixing that fence because no one else did. Damn herd was sniffing around there and Anderson called to tell me that he had a few already at his place.” Paul reached over
, taking the saddle from me and putting it on a saw horse in the small room with the others. “Emmy rode out with me because Will and Rob neglected to do their chores.”

“That’s just great! I have things to do and I need to count on you three!” Stomping his foot, the man turned so fast, I jumped out of his way
and waited for the anger to come at me. Instead, the corners of his mouth twitched as he looked me over. “Little girl, did you like the ride?”

“Dad, that’s Will’s friend, Emmerson.” Smiling, Paul hung the bridle on the hook on the wall above the saddle I used.

“Best get your hide in the house for some chow. I can’t let you work and not feed you.” His hand came down on my shoulder, giving me a little squeeze right where my dad had punched me over the weekend before I slipped out to be “unseen”. The pain ripped through my arm and tears burst into my eyes. It hurt so bad, but what could I do? I had to pull it back and hide it. I was used to it, but then again, I didn’t have people touching me like that before now. This was all different. Very different than what I had experienced before and I liked it. I liked the way these people made me feel. I felt good for a change, comfortable, safe. “I have some business to finish up after dinner so you will be alone for the rest of the night.”

“I had Emmer offer to shovel stalls. Pretty sure I can get this done with earlier than expected.” Looking over at me, Paul winked playfully. “I’m sure she would go running for the hills after that.”

“Don’t go scaring her off too soon, Paul. We can always use a scooper.”

“This weekend, I need to check through the herd again. I think there might be something going around. Emmer offered to help out because Rob has his basketball games this weekend.”

Will’s dad nodded as he looked me over. “You think you can handle that? It’s a lot of riding and sleeping on the ground. You wouldn’t be able to be here to eat. You would eat your meals out there and sit by a campfire. I don’t know….It’s a boy thing.”

“I can do it. I can help. Please?” A weekend away from the wrath of my father, sleeping out under the broken porch, not eating…..Um, this would be far better than what my weekends were
, anyway. Besides, my dad wouldn’t even know I was gone. He wouldn’t care as long as he didn’t have people coming around questioning his ways. As long as I stayed quiet and under the Huck’s radar, I would be fine. My dad wouldn’t be so angry and I wouldn’t be so hurt. Just as long as I made sure I kept under that radar, for a little bit of my life, it would be worth living.

Chapter 5

****Present****

“How many ti
mes did I tell you not to even try?” Connie stood in the kitchen with her eyes scanning the mess. There was waffle batter all over the floor because the damn bowl had walked its way off the counter…again. Completely not my fault….again. This time, the bowl broke which had raised Connie’s mental flag. Smoke was pouring out of the glass lid that roofed the pan of bacon and the room was filling fast. Ben was standing in the doorway, his dark gray ears perked up while watching everything that was happening. Not something that she had approved of, but I hadn’t been able to get him out before the disaster hit.

Just as he reached for an apple that was on the counter, she swatted at him and screamed. “Emmy, what did I tell you about him?”

“He’s just-”

“Get him the hell out of here!” She screamed as she fled to the oven to stop the smoke. Another pan that I had just ruined, I am sure of.

“I’m sorry-”

“This is…” Just as she stepped, her foot caught the fir
st batch of waffle mix that missed the iron maker. Yeah, that was the batch that I ended up wearing when the bowl decided to slip through my hands. Catching herself, she let out a loud curse as Ben had come through the door again wanting that apple. It wasn’t my fault that the bowl had been on the counter where she had wanted them. She knew how he was. “Emmerson!”

“I can clean it up-
”

“No, just get him the hell out of my house! Just go! I have enough to do as it is! Get him out of my house!”

“I just wanted to help you out.” The tears stung more than they ever had before. Damn Paul. Why did he kiss me last weekend? Why did he do that? The look on his face, that disgust he had about kissing me, was worse than any hit I had taken from my dad. Then he told me just to leave? All I wanted was for him to do it again. I wanted him to kiss me more. Butterflies danced and fluttered in my belly and the heat was so amazing that I just needed more.

Ben made his way closer to her as he nickered softly.
Belting out a scream at him, Connie’s hazels shot to me, heated and angry. I knew how she was with Ben in the house and he was a big horse. I just couldn’t stop him with the tornado that was ripping through the kitchen unexpectedly.

“I told you not to be messing in my kitchen, didn’t I?” Had I really gone too fa
r this time? I thought it would be a nice surprise for her to not have to mess with breakfast knowing she would be making dinner all day. It
was
Thanksgiving, after all.

How could this all be screwing up so fast?
Paul was way different to me than what he was before. I mean, he could barely look at me when I was home on the weekends. And if he wasn’t at
her
house, he was hiding from me. Last weekend, I was watching and waiting for him to get home so I could at least talk to him. But something was different. Something changed with him and maybe he just didn’t want to be around me anymore.

And Connie….Sure, she told me not to be thinking about trying to cook, but I did and I made a huge mess. So much for giving her a break this morning, but I wanted to try. I wanted to make sure I still had a place here. But, maybe no one wanted me there anymore. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” It broke my heart. It really did, but this was it. This was the
reasoning behind me going away for school. They were just tired of me being there and college was their escape from me.

“Emmer, just…” Her hand came down on my shoulder as she pulled me tight to her. “I’m sorry. I know that you just want to help, but
Honey, you are not one that can be in the kitchen. I’m sorry.”

“I thought that I had it. I read it on the internet how to cook and I figured that with yo
u not wanting me around anymore-”

“Emmy, where in the hell did
you come up with that?” Pulling me back enough to look at me, her hazels greened a little more as they softened on me. “You are a part of this family. You always will be. Nothing will ever change that.”

“I can’t cook. I can’t do anything. I’
m just….” The hot tears came so fast that they actually scared me this time. I hadn’t cried in front of her before, but it was scaring me that I was losing the only family that I had ever wanted.

“Oh,
Honey.” Pressing my head into her bosomy chest, she kissed my forehead as she held me as tight as she could. “Don’t even think that we don’t want you. We love you very much.”

“I just ha
te being at school. I know you are tired of having me around and that is why-”

“That’s not why you are there. You need an education, Emmy. You need this chance. As we talked about it, Emmy. We said that one year and we would let you take the rest online if that was what you wanted.”
Pulling me back by my shoulders, she looked me over, my battered covered clothing. “And you need the education because you’re going to need something that pays enough for you to have a cook.”

“I don’t. I don’t want to be away. I can’t.”
Education didn’t matter to me. I knew what I needed to know and what I didn’t, I did research. I just wanted to be back home on the ranch where I didn’t have that fear I was losing them. Truth was, I was losing them. Paul was getting farther and farther away from me already. Hell, he didn’t even want to be around me anymore. And now, Connie….I ruined her kitchen again.

“Why not, Em? You’re doing so
well there.”

“Because I am scared that you won’t be here.”

“We will always be here.” Kissing my forehead again, she smiled as she gave me one last squeeze before letting me go. “Now, get him the hell out of my house.”

Nodding, I quickly brushed away the tears as I looked at Ben reaching for the bowl of apples.
Why she put them there was still a question I always asked, every weekend when he tried getting them.

“Why don’t you go and see what Rob and Marc are up to? They are down in the barn.” Rubbing my back, she laughed as she looked over the wreckage. “And take Ben with you. He’s been missing you.”

Taking the halter, I grabbed an apple and walked him out. Taking in the scent of the crisp air, I felt the hurt filling in seeing Paul and Becky by her fancy SUV. He kissed her and smiled before turning away. God, that hurt even more. Did his kiss have as much effect on her as it had on me? If he had only known how it felt for me. And that chest. That tattoo. Ugh, he was just amazing without his shirt on. I did my best not letting it take control of me last weekend, but it had. That tattoo was all that I could think about after he had gotten it a few months ago. Seeing it again just made that mental picture in my head even more clear. 

Wandering down to the barn, I slipped inside
and heard the two middle brothers talking about some girls and what they had done with them. Yes, having four brothers, especially those two, I had heard it all. Sometimes, Jackson got so upset with them over the way they talked around me, but I didn’t care. They were my brothers.

“She just had this….
” Marc’s soft browns shot up to me, halting the conversation. “Shit. Here she comes again.”

“Don’t mind me. I just got
chased out of the kitchen.” Plopping down on the hay bale, I watched Ben head for the grain bucket that was hanging on the wall for him. No matter what anyone had done, Ben was just an animal that had escaped out of everything. Jackson threatened to put padlocks on the stall and the coral, but for some reason, I just figured that Ben would find a way out anyway.

“Ben inside again?” Rob chuckled as he stretched out on the bed of hay in the open area. “I have one hell
of a hangover, Bro.”

“Just wait until you turn twenty-one, lil’ sis.” Marc cursed as he rubbed his forehead.

“Do you guys hate me being around always, too?” Their looks had passed to each other as they shook their heads.

“No, you’re a pretty cool girl.” Marc yawned as he shrugged a little checking with Rob. “Life would be dull if you weren’t here.”

“That’s for sure.” Rob chuckled a little before running his hand through his dark hair. “Emmy, just because you weren’t born our sister, doesn’t mean that you’re not our sister.”

“What’s goin
g on, girlfriend?” Marc’s compassion filled eyes shifted over to me as the deep Huck nature came to his face. Hell, I had seen that look with all the boys when they knew that something was up, especially when it came to me.

“Hey, I better go and check with Paul to see what needs to be done so he doesn’t have a shit-fit.” Rob climbed to his feet and stopped by me. Planting a kiss on my fo
rehead, he smiled, tasseled my hair a little, and headed for the door. “You mean a hell of a lot to us, Emmer. Don’t ever forget that.”

Watching him walk out had taken another piece of my heart. Through his senior year of high school, I had
tutored him and a few of his friends, which was the reason why we had been close. He was damn close to failing and I was bored. So bored and needed a new challenge. Not one of them forgot about it either. To this day, they had called me when they needed help with something and they hadn’t forgotten about it either.

“So, what’s on your mind, Emmy?” Marc moved over to the bales next to me
, leaning against the barn wall. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he bit his bottom lip hard. That was the one trait that all four of the boys had and it was cute. Paul, though, was more. It had caught me more when he did it, though. Simple things with Paul that the others had, really caught me more.

“I just feel like I am losing my family. I don’t know why.”

“Emmer, you don’t just lose us. We love you just as if you were a Huck. That’s how we are.” Taking his hand out of his pocket, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I know that you and Paul aren’t as close as you once were. Is that where you are getting this feeling?”

“No.” Yes. It was. Paul was getting more and more pulled away and I couldn’t stop it. I mis
sed him so much. On the nights I had my nightmares, I would sit and look at his number on my cell, but I couldn’t push send. I just couldn’t.

“You are such a liar. Just talk to me, Emmer.”

“I just hate it, Marc. I hate the fact that he’s with her.” There I said it. I said it to the one that, other than Paul, I had trusted to keep my secret.

“Becky’s actually a pretty good woman. You don’t have to be worried about her hurting him.”

“It’s not that, Marc. I just….now that he’s with her, he doesn’t want anything to do with me lately and it hurts. He was my best friend.” The tears had packed in my eyes again. Maybe I should have stayed at the college. If I knew I would be crying this much here, I never would have come. But, I needed my brothers. I needed my mom and dad. I had to be close to them for some strange reason. Hell, I was home every weekend, but something was just hitting me so much harder this weekend.

“Paul shouldn’t be pushing you away like he is. He just has a lot on his mind and buying that ring…”

My heart slammed into my stomach so fast that it had splashed the contents up into my throat. “What ring?”

“He bought Becky an engagement ring. Sounds like he’s going to propose at Christmas.” His eyes softened as
he looked at me deeper. “Just hang in there kid. You will have your best friend back someday. Just let him get through this.”

“No, he will never be my best friend again.” Standing up, I looked at Ben
and felt the emptiness filling deep inside of me. I would lose him for good if he got married. He would leave and I would be nothing to him again. Becky was his life, his world, and he had wanted her for so long. God, it hurt too much.

“I’m always open, Kid. I am.” His voice softened as his head tipped lower. “I miss being home since you come here.”

“You can always come and keep me company at school. I can use the friend there.” Choking out, I felt the nausea swirling and wanting to just come out.

“Everything going okay there?”

“No, they all make fun of me because my roommate told them all about my scars and nightmares.”

“Kid, I will be there starting Monday. Don’t worry about it.” Getting up, he hugged me tightly and walked out of the barn.

Taking Ben, I led him down to the end and grabbed his saddle. A ride would help. We hadn’t been able to do much of that during the week, not like we always had. With me being away, he was being neglected and I hated it. It was the fastest that I had him ready and we headed out. I just needed to think about this, think about what was going on. Why hadn’t Paul told me if he was thinking of asking Becky to marry him? Why did he kiss me like that last weekend?

It had been hours that I was out and I knew that I would be getting a talking to when I came in late for dinner. Putting Ben’s saddle away, I ran to the house as everyone was at the table waiting. And she was there with her hand on Paul’s thigh. Her smile was big and her eyes shifted around the table. His jaw had tightened when I had slipped into my seat and his arm went around Becky, pulling her closer to him.

Dinner was quiet, but Becky had managed to be the one that broke the silence
by asking about my school. Hell, I didn’t want to talk to her about anything. I didn’t like her at all. She was taking my best friend away from me and it hurt so much. After the table was cleared, I headed out to Ben. We had a lot to discuss now and he was a great listener.