Embrace Me At Dawn (19 page)

When Lucan returned to Bram’s office, the sight before him made him stop dead in the doorway. His best friend gripped his former mate by the shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes as he talked softly to her. Bram was mated himself. Though his little human Emma had left hours after he’d taken her, that made her no less Bram’s. And he was no less hers. So Lucan wondered what the hell was this touchy-feely conversation with his former mate about?

Shoving down his jealousy, he cleared his throat. “Am I interrupting?”

Anka jumped guiltily, then spun to face him. “No. Bram had a question. I’d planned to return to the training room and wait for you.”

Maybe, but when Lucan looked over her head to Bram’s face, he saw something different. Not lust or any romantic interest. Speculation. Something was up here.

“
No more today,” Bram said. “Lucan and I have unfinished business. Return tomorrow.”

She whirled back to the Doomsday Brethren’s leader. “I need this training time. I won’t be any good to you if I can’t be ready for the next battle and I—”

“
And all of this will be absolutely worthless if we’re not ready for what’s to come.”

Bram wanted to talk to him. Lucan got it now. He nodded to Anka. “Tomorrow morning early, love. I’ll set aside the entire day so we can continue working.”

Anka’s lips pressed together mutinously, and she looked ready to argue. Damn, he’d rather gather her against him, make those lips soften under his, take her home and lay her down in the bed they’d shared for a century…

“
Lucan?” Bram snapped.

He returned to the here and now. “Yes?”

“
We’re leaving now. Let’s go.”

“
Of course.” But Anka stood close, looking at him like she wanted to stay, confide in him… Then her expression closed up, and she nodded. “Tomorrow, then.”

Before he could say another word, she exited the room and teleported away from the manor.

“
What is the matter with you?” he demanded of Bram.

“
You two will have time to make eyes at one another tomorrow. Today…something is wrong with her. Did you notice?”

No way to miss her tense, defensive behavior earlier. “The moment Shock arrived—”

“
She froze up before then. When we started talking about the requirements to get our hands on Morganna’s killing potion.”

Lucan swallowed, feeling like a heel. God, she’d been completely traumatized, and he’d been too jealous and angry to see how badly she needed comfort. “The talk of Mathias, of working with him… That must terrify her.”

Bram winced. “And no wonder why. I don’t know precisely what he did to Anka, but we can all guess.”

Indeed. And Lucan had lain awake night after night for months, castigating himself for failing to recognize the danger to her, for allowing her to be brutalized, for not coming to her rescue when she needed him. “We must shelter her from him. Whatever it takes.”

Bram’s face tightened. “She wants to be a warrior. I don’t like that any of us have to deal with the violent scum, but it comes with the territory.”

Lucan wanted to refute him, but couldn’t. “So you were…comforting her?”

“
You can’t think I’m looking to shag her?”

“
Not exactly, no. But you two looked far cozier than I’ve ever seen.”

Bram nodded. “Trying to read her mind. You know I have to touch her to do that.”

Of course. He’d forgotten. “Anything?”

Regretfully, he shook his head. “Such a thick layer of ice. An even thicker one of fear. She knew what I was about and blocked me at every turn. Living with Shock has taught her more than a few tricks about shielding her thoughts.”

Naturally. But that didn’t make the stab in his heart easier to take. “I’ve got to figure out how to read her in my way, dissolve her barriers, persuade her to tell me what she fears and how I can help.”

“
Good luck. Shall we go banshee hunting?”

The question surprised Lucan. “Now?”

“
I’d rather find the washerwoman and have her in my back pocket before Mathias does. We must control as much of this equation as possible if we want to banish Morganna and be alive at the end.”

“
You’re right.” And he had to get his head out of his longing for Anka and back into the war if he wanted to remain standing at the end and keep his former mate safe. “Any idea where to find one?”

“
None at all. They like remote villages by bodies of water. We’ll scout a few and hope we find something. But we must get our hands on a banshee fast or we’re fucked.”

Chapter Seven

Anka entered the manor the next morning, dressed again in her leathers, boots, and figure-hugging tank, hoping her severe braid and severe expression hid her utter nervousness. Another day alone with Lucan loomed, smelling his scent, longing for him—and desperately trying to hide it. Another day of wondering what would happen next in her quest to repay Mathias for all he’d taken from her.

Rolling over to find Shock blessedly gone, she’d showered alone and arrived under Bram’s roof early. To her surprise, Lucan already waited.

Their gazes connected the second she entered the room, and she felt the jolt all the way through her, a tug on her body, a ping in her brain, a squeeze on her heart.

“
Good morning.” Somehow she managed to sound calm and collected.

“
Morning. I’d planned training today, but the larger issue of the war calls again. Bram wants to see everyone in his office now.” He crossed the room, looking more hesitant than she could ever remember. And concerned. “I argued against this. I want you to know that. Lean on me, if you need. I’m here for you.”

The gravity in his tone set alarm bells ringing in her head. “What the devil is going on?”

Lucan’s face tightened. “The devil is an apt way to put it. Mathias has come to negotiate.”

“
Here?” At Lucan’s nod, she backed away, eyes widening with panic. “Now?”

Of course she knew that Bram planned to talk with the bastard, use him as a temporary ally, but she never imagined actually sharing the same roof with him again. God, she wasn’t ready for that. Bloody hell, she couldn’t breathe.

Lucan closed the distance between them and grabbed her in his arms, pressing her face to his solid chest and kissing the top of her head. The cold terror that had iced her veins just moments ago began to thaw with him so near.

“
Whatever’s passed between us, whatever you believe, I may have failed you before, but I will never let him hurt you again, I swear.” Lucan grabbed her face and stared deep into her eyes.

Helplessly, she stared back, wishing she could just lose herself here. But that was impossible. She had to stand on her own two feet from now on.

Gently, she eased away. Lucan’s speech was mere words. Mathias had not only hurt her, he had
changed
her. Irrevocably. Knowing that only a few closed doors separated them, panic became an icy fire under her skin, urging her to run. The months fell away, and she was in the home she’d shared with Lucan again, in their bedroom, eating a bowl of soup and curled up with a book when she felt a disturbance in the protections around the house. Instead of teleporting out, she’d climbed from bed to investigate…and been surrounded immediately, Mathias leading the pack with his fingers digging painfully into her arm as he smiled widely into her frightened face. He’d taken great delight as he’d torn her robe away with his hands and described in detail every way he planned to desecrate her. It hadn’t taken him long to do exactly as promised.

“
Anka.” Lucan’s concerned voice crashed through her memories. “Come back here, love.”

She blinked up into his beloved face. His strong grasp, the tender command in his expression. He meant to keep her safe.

“
W-why?”

“
He claims he’s agreed to Bram’s terms and is here to talk. Shock came with him.”

And again, Lucan’s very tone asked how the hell she could live with a man who consorted with her tormentor. She didn’t have an answer except to say that Shock had always protected her, from the time she’d been a child. After she’d been freed from Mathias’s grasp, she’d gravitated to Shock in her stunned, terrorized state. He was the one person she knew could help. By the time she’d remembered Lucan and their love…well, knowing that she’d run to Shock, given him her trust and her body, how could she expect her former mate to forgive that? To take damaged goods? To understand who she’d become after forcing herself to rise from the ashes of her mental funeral pyre?

And now, she could never expect him to accept the glaring omissions she’d kept to herself during their century together. If the truth about her bloodline ever came out, God how he would loathe her.

“
Why do I have to be in the same room with him?” Her stomach knotted so tightly at the thought of looking into Mathias’s icy eyes again and remembering all the horror.

Lucan paused a very long time. “At any point, we might all be going into battle together to dispense with Morganna. We have to put the war against Mathias on hold to protect magickind from exposure. We need him for now.”

She gasped, then bit her lip. None of this should surprise her, and she was reacting too emotionally. They shared a common goal for the moment. Her own personal vendetta would have to wait until they’d ridded magickind of the evil witch’s threat. Besides, she might learn something about Mathias’s weaknesses if she fought beside him now.

“
If I refuse to be in the same room with him now, I look weak. Afraid.”

He nodded. “I wish I could tell you otherwise, but yes.”

Anka drew in a deep breath, telling herself that she could handle it. She
would
handle it. “Right, then. I won’t be a coward. Will he be training with us, as well?”

“
No. As Bram told me earlier, we’re not letting the wanker in on all our secrets.”

A small relief, but she’d take it. “Are they waiting now?”

“
Everyone has been arriving over the last few minutes. Bram let me break the news to you privately.”

Because everyone thought she was fragile. And wasn’t that the truth, really? Shock knew that she cried in the shower. No way to hide anything from him. But Lucan? She stared up into those so-blue eyes of his. He couldn’t read her mind, but he knew her so very well in some ways. In other ways, not at all. Perhaps that was because for the last hundred years she hadn’t really been herself.

“
I’ll be all right. Let’s go.” She turned for the exit and headed to Bram’s office.

Lucan grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him again. “Hold up, love. You don’t have to pretend with me. I’m your trainer here. Your protector. I want you to take part in the meeting because it sends a signal of strength. The Doomsday Brethren will look completely united. But if you’re not ready—”

“
Don’t. I said I’m all right.” She jerked her arm free.

Hurt crossed Lucan’s face, and she ached to soothe him. Nothing good could come from that. The urge to lean on him was strong, and she hated that he felt as if he’d failed her. If he had been there the night she’d been abducted, Mathias and the Anarki would have vastly outnumbered them. They only would have killed him.

They left the ballroom that had been converted to a training center and headed through the manor toward Bram’s office. Just outside the door, Lucan stopped her again, tucked her behind him. “I’ll go in first.”

She grabbed his arm, and he leveled a questioning glance at her over his shoulder. Anka simply shook her head and released him. “Go. I’ll follow in a moment. Alone. I can’t appear as if I need you to hold my hand. Because then he’s won, really.”