Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (69 page)

“For good,” I finished.

Onyx smiled, but for once, I didn’t think his heart was truly

in it. He was too busy dabbing his bleeding nose and watching

Spence out of the corner of his eye.

He was right, though. As soon as he said it, it made sense. Of

course this was Phoenix and of course he wanted to drive a wedge between Lincoln and me, weaken us.

And
you
walked
right
into
it!

I wanted to slap myself. He must be laughing so hard at how

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these renegade missions instead of focusing on the Scriptures, how easily Lincoln was derailed and turned from his responsibilities.

Of all things, this— the exile who had hurt his mother— was the only thing that could spoil him so effectively, have him turn his back on his obligations. Lincoln had an excuse— he was blinded by his love for his mom and his need for closure— but what the hell was mine? I should have seen this coming.

“Now, if you don’t mind, could you please instruct your brawn

to hand over my payment and go away?”

“Spence, give him the bourbon. Thank you, Onyx.” I nodded at

him and he looked away.

Spence put the bottles on the coffee table, and I could tell he was even less pleased than I was about having to pay him for information.

As we walked out, Onyx spoke again. “I know someone who

might know where he is. I’ll let you know.”

I didn’t turn around. I just paused in the doorway. “Thank you.” Spence and I left Hades without talking after I’d stopped to let Dapper know that Onyx could do with an ice pack. When we hit

the pavement, Spence was all pumped up.

“Do you think he’ll send through the address tonight?” he asked.

In the dark, the night air was cool and made me feel unprotected and somehow all alone, despite my company. I turned a wary look to Spence. “Not tonight. I have to get home before Dad calls, and anyway, I’m too tired for anything else. If I get the address, we can go tomorrow.”

Spence’s shoulders sagged forward.

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“I promise I’ll let you know. I won’t go without you,” I assured him.

He smiled. Spence still hadn’t asked for the full story about

Nahilius. It occurred to me he didn’t care. As long as there was the potential for a fight, he was in.

“Um, Spence, can we keep this to ourselves for now?”

“You won’t catch me telling anyone,” he said. And I knew he

wouldn’t. Spence wouldn’t risk missing out.

Another
good
thing
to
remember!

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chapter
eighteen

“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their
objects than love.”

GeoRGe eLIoT

Th e phone was ringing when I opened the door.

“Hello? Hello?” I called into the receiver after lunging to get it before it stopped.

“Hello?” I said, again.

“Vi, it’s me. Where have you been?”

“Oh, hi, Dad. I was out with Sp— Steph. We were at the library.”

“Uh- huh.”

“Dad, seriously. If you don’t believe me, call Steph. She’s probably still there.” Lying just isn’t something that sits well with me, so the fact that I seemed to be lying to everyone in my life at the moment
and
was turning out to be pretty damn good at it was disturbing. For whatever reason to whatever person, it never feels right. I’ve felt like that my whole life, always thinking it was Entice.indd 220

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something I had inherited from my mother.
Until
I
discovered
she
was
the
biggest
liar
of
all!

“Okay, okay, so you were at the library. Sweetheart, I was worried about you. I’ve called the apartment a few times today and you

haven’t been home. I tried the other night as well, but you weren’t there. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. How’s Lincoln?” Dad asked, trying out the question.

“He’s okay. You know, same as always.”

“Are you two still…friends?” he asked, a lilt in his voice.

“Yes,” I deadpanned.

“
Just
friends?”

“Dad,” I warned.

“Okay. But you’re okay then?”

“I’m fine. How’s your trip going?”

“Same as always, sweetheart. Somehow Caroline has managed

to arrange meetings with almost every client the company has.”

Beneath the obvious exhaustion, I noticed something that sounded a lot like endearment. If I hadn’t known Dad as well as I did, I would’ve wondered if something were going on between him

and his PA. Dad sighed. “I miss you. I’m trying to rearrange the schedule. With any luck, I’ll see you in a few days.”

Talking to Dad, I had an idea— a memory really— of the dreams

I’d had. Until now, they had seemed so unreal I’d just brushed

them off as weird, but with everything that was happening, I realized for the first time that maybe they were the clue I had needed.

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“Sure. Dad?”

“Yes.”

“When you met Mom, when you lived in New York— did

she ever mention any friends she had there? Um…Did she ever

mention anyone’s name…like Nyla or Rudyard?”

“No, not that I remember. Your mom didn’t have many connec-

tions when we met. She had only recently moved from a small

town to New York. Why?”

See! My mom, biggest liar of all.

“No reason. I just met this nice old couple the other day…They

were from New York and thought I looked familiar. I wondered if maybe they were recognizing Mom.”

“Oh.” I could hear Dad choking up. People always told me

how much I looked like Mom. Apart from Dad’s hazel eyes, I was

supposed to be a lot like her. “Well…I doubt they knew her.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Have a good trip, Dad.”

“Sure, honey. Call me if you need anything and remember— no

one at the apartment except Steph, and if you need anything— ”

“I know, I know, the Richardsons are just next door.”

When Dad hung up, I paused, holding the phone, trying desper-

ately to think back to the dream. I don’t know why I’d thought of it at that moment or why I hadn’t tried to figure it out before now.

Every time I’d woken from the dreams, I’d been so sure that

they were real. The first time, I’d woken shivering and sore, as if the raining ice had chilled me to the bone and bruised my skin. The other times, I felt the dream and its contents slipping out of my 222

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grasp, but I was always left with a lingering sadness and sense of burden. I was certain my angel maker had shown me the dreams but then, like so many others, I’d let myself forget. Till now. I couldn’t remember everything but I could hear his words. The warning.

“A traitor,” I whispered.

————

Desperate to clear my head, I ran myself a bath and soaked for a small eternity. I had to let out the cold water three times to top it off with more hot. It was comforting to lie there and think quietly.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done that. I let my hair out of its ponytail, released it into the water, and slid back. The long strands explored the water, snaking around my neck and chest. As the warmth of the water reached through my skin and into my

core, I felt some part of myself— a part I had not allowed to surface in a long time— awaken. Silent tears started to trickle from my eyes. I let them. They were not tears of panic, or even despair— just tears, tears of quiet, tears for me.

Eventually I let my head slide right down the back of the bath.

My loose hair floated in the warm water, which enveloped me in

a world of both amplified sounds and quietness. I held my breath and let my lips part slightly so I could feel the water move inside my mouth. I waited and waited. I waited for the burn, the urgent need for air. But being Grigori meant it was a slower process than it once was. I could hold my breath for a lot longer now.

It was a relief to be alone. Even if I was crying and submerged, I still felt a peaceful calm. My hands slid along the ceramic of 223

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the bath and then to the place on my stomach where Onyx had

rammed his silver sword. I tried not to, but my thoughts went to
him
. I couldn’t stop them— the memories. As much as I wanted to deny it, there was a part of me that would be forever linked to Phoenix, and it had nothing to do with his physical hold over me.

A surge of emotion flooded through me as my lungs started to

burn with hot ice, and when morning and evening flashed across

my closed eyes, I knew the burning in my lungs was not for oxygen.

It was everywhere. I bolted upright, gasping for air, my eyes darting frantically about as a gust of chilling wind hit me in the face.

“Son of a bitch!” I jumped out of the bath and wrapped a towel

around me as I charged out of the bathroom.

“Phoenix!” I yelled to the empty apartment. “I know it’s you!”

Worst of all, I knew the blast of intense emotion I had felt before he left was a result of the initial feelings he had felt coming from me.

I secured the apartment as tightly as I could, once again finding the sliding door to the balcony unlocked. I checked everything, pulling across the safety latches on the main door and checking the dead bolts on all the windows.

Like
that
can
stop
him.

It was more about the active process than anything else.

I considered calling Steph, but her mother had ordered her

back home for a night, and what was she going to do if Phoenix

returned anyway? I was stronger without having to defend her as well. I’d already dragged Steph into this world more often than I was comfortable with.

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I
wanted
to call Lincoln, but I could just imagine that conversation:
Yeah, so Phoenix was in my apartment while I was in the bath
and thinking of him. I’m pretty sure he felt everything I was feeling.

Do you think you could come play protector for me?
I don’t think so.

With no one to turn to, I hauled my giant- sized quilt out to the sofa and slept, if you can call it that, in the living room.

Phoenix was gone but not far.

I realized now, he never was.

I couldn’t sense him as easily as I could other exiles. His human part gave him valuable camouflage, and he could mask his presence much more effectively. I didn’t know if I was more disappointed or embarrassed that I had been refusing to acknowledge the truth, but despite his subtlety, I had definitely been feeling him— never as close as this before, but he’d been there.

Watching. Waiting.

I now had little doubt. I had felt his intensity in that one burst of emotion, felt his desperate need to eliminate me. Any glimmer of hope that might have once been there— that somehow Phoenix

would change, would be that guy I first got to know— was gone.

Phoenix will kill me.

Or
I’ll kill him.

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chapter
nineteen