Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (59 page)

Steph glared at her, but I suspected Zoe was going first to stop her.

She was protecting her, though she’d never admit it. Once again, life as a Grigori was exposing my best friend to danger.

I was beginning to understand more and more why so many

chose to not tell their loved ones the truth.

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chapter
twelve

“Suddenly he saw a vision of a seraph, a six- winged angel on a
cross. This angel gave him the gift of the five wounds of Christ.”
G. K. ChesTeRToN

We passed by Onyx’s apartment. Th e door was open and the place was empty, apart from some haphazardly scattered possessions, signs of someone who has absolutely no level of regard for anything. We kept going down the hall to Dapper’s. I walked slowly, using the time to regenerate my strength. Th e wound had healed, but once again, blood loss and trauma were taking their toll.

Th e door was open and Onyx was reclining on the couch. He

had his feet up on the coff ee table and seemed almost at home.

“Well?” he asked, when we all crowded through the doorway.

I wanted to turn around and walk back out. Instead, I gritted

my teeth.

“Spence has gone to get your bourbon. He’ll be up in a minute,” Entice.indd 129

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Jessica shirvington

I said, moving myself away from Salvatore’s supporting arm to

stand alone.

“Good. Well, you may as well get cleaned up. As much as I like

the image of you covered in blood”— the corners of his mouth

twitched— “Dapper wouldn’t appreciate you ruining his lovely

chaise longue.”

I crossed my arms and made no move, but Onyx just smiled and

made a walking motion with two of his fingers.

“It’s all right, Violet. We’ll watch him,” Zoe said, stepping

closer to Onyx. There was little I could do. He was in control— for now. After giving Zoe a quick nod, I served Onyx a foul look and stormed off to the bathroom, pulling Steph along with me.

Steph let loose as soon as the door clicked.

“Vi, is this a good idea? He…He’s the one that…You know…”

I did know. Unfortunately, I’d had more than a vivid reminder

of what Onyx had done to me when he impaled me with his sword,

nearly killing me. Knowing now that Phoenix appeared to have the ability to reinstate the wounds— the terror— at any time was…I

swallowed and clenched my jaw.

Hold
it
together, Vi.

There are moments in life where there is nothing you can do.

Information lands in your lap and you just want to scream and

scream until there is only emptiness. It’s when I feel like that that I know I have to close down, shut it out, compartmentalize. Like now.

“I remember, Steph. But if he knows something…” I picked a

spot on the floor, a crack in one of the dark gray tiles, and focused 130

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on it. I studied the hairline and its jagged edges as I tried desperately to block the flow. I refused to open my mind to everything that was going on. To Phoenix, Onyx, the possibilities of what

might happen. Worse, right now, opening myself would only start the stampede on my heart— Lincoln.

It’s always Lincoln. He’ll never forgive me.

The last time I’d been in this bathroom, we’d almost…

Every
time
we
get
close, somehow it’s ruined.

I jumped when my phone started ringing and fumbled as I

fished it out of my blood- soaked pocket.

“Hello?” Then, remembering that Spence had diverted the house

phone to my cell, I quickly added, “Eden residence.”

“Hi, honey. Just calling to check in before you go to bed.”

I could hear fingers tapping away on a computer, probably Dad

sending emails. He always left them till the end of his day, or night, I should say.

“Hey,
Dad
,” I emphasized, looking at Steph, who nodded, understanding instantly. “How’s your trip going?” I asked, trying to keep a steady, low voice so it didn’t echo too much in the bathroom.

Steph moved silently and put an ear to the door, checking that

no one else was going to barge in.

“Lunches and dinners with clients every day. It’s driving me up the wall, but it has to be done. Anything happening there? Is Steph staying over?”

“Um…Yeah. Well, no. I mean, no, nothing’s happening and

yes, Steph is staying over. We’re just doing the usual. Pizza and 131

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movies,” I said, trying hard to recapture some composure after

such a rocky start.

“Sounds good, honey,” Dad went on, oblivious to any problem.

“Listen, I’ve got to get going. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Sure, Dad.”

He hung up. I looked down at my phone and pressed the end

button. “Love you too.”

Although I knew it was irrational, at that moment, I was angry

with him— for not knowing me, who I was, what I was going

through. I knew it was unfair, that it was me who hadn’t told him, but all the same…
Why
can’t he hear the fear in my voice?
Sense
the
way
my
world
had
changed?
I had to sense things every day for the rest of my life, which would possibly be a very long time, and all I wanted was for him to be able to sense me.
Just
me.

“Vi, you okay?” Steph asked, watching me as she quietly moved

to the sink and started rinsing blood from a towel we’d been using.

She wrung it out and motioned gently to me to continue mopping

up. Without a change of clothes, it was the only option, but it was pretty useless.

I wiped away the tear that had escaped down my cheek.

“Fine,” I said in response. “Just…” But I didn’t have an expla-

nation. There was a lot going on. I couldn’t put the feelings of desperation and foreboding and all- round sick- to- the- gut sensation into words.

I spotted a bathrobe hanging on the back of the door and

grabbed it. I pulled off my T- shirt. I didn’t bother with my jeans.

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“Hey,” I said, trying to rally as much as I could, “do you think you could rinse this out and throw it in the dryer? I saw a laundry room back down the hall a bit.”

Steph took the T- shirt and looked at me, unconvinced. “I know

what you’re doing. You can’t deal with everything on your own, Vi.” She adjusted her focus down to the bloodied top in her hands. “I know you think I shouldn’t be involved in this stuff, but here’s the thing: you made your choice when you told me the truth. Now I’ve made mine. You’re my best friend, Vi. Don’t push me out because I’m not all ‘super.’ We stick together. That’s that.”

Steph’s expression looked so adamant but also…desperate. It

wasn’t just me who had a lot on the line. This world that I was now stuck in mattered to her too. In her own way, she was just as stuck as me. We’re best friends, after all— where one goes, the other follows.

“I don’t want to see you hurt,” I admitted.

She smiled wryly. “How about you just worry about yourself ?”

I smiled back. She could be right.

She bundled the T- shirt and the worst of the bloody towels

together. “I’ll go take care of these.” She paused at the door, as if she couldn’t help herself, and turned back to me, a small twinkle in her eye. “Did you see all those books in the hallway?”

I wondered when she’d mention she’d just entered a version of

geek heaven.

————

What
was
I
doing?

What I
wanted
to do— badly— was run. I knew deep down that 133

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this was all my fault. Letting myself get close to Phoenix in the first place, letting myself believe that he was good, that he cared.

No. I’m more culpable than that. I let him believe that I was good.

I sucked in a few deep breaths and avoided looking at myself in the mirror.

Am
I
just
as
guilty
as
Phoenix?

Looking back, he probably never cared for me. He just wanted

to control me, have me as some kind of trophy. But had I been

any better?

Running was what had gotten me into this mess. Running from

becoming Grigori, from my feelings for Lincoln, from the truth

about my mother. It had all led me to Phoenix. I couldn’t run

anymore. And quitting wasn’t an option. I couldn’t even hide. I was out in the open and Phoenix could find me anywhere.

He was a predator and…

I was his prey.

————

When I was confident the red blotches on my face had settled

enough, I headed back out to where everyone was waiting. Spence had returned with a bottle of bourbon in hand. He, along with

everyone else in the room, cracked a smile when they saw me

wrapped in the gigantic bathrobe. Everyone, that is, except Dapper, who had also made it upstairs.

“Oh great,” he snorted. “Just make yourself at home. Can I get

you some slippers as well?”

I could see Zoe and Spence shaking, holding back laughter, and

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I had to look away from them. Crazy how even when things are life or death, friends can make you see a funny side.

“Sorry, Dapper. You’ve been really kind. Steph is just washing

my top, and while we talked, I thought she could try and dry it. It won’t take long.”

He grunted and made for his minibar.

He threw a glass out toward Onyx, who caught it easily. It made me wonder if Onyx and Dapper were becoming friends, the way

they seemed to comfortably ignore one another but still be in some kind of weird sync.

Onyx set about opening his bottle of bourbon and pouring

himself a drink. “Thank you for this. I won’t be offering any of you a drink.”

Not that anyone wanted one— well maybe Zoe…and Spence—

but Onyx’s words were a clear reminder of how much he hated us.

Dapper, however, finally cracked a smile. He grabbed a stash of small Coke bottles from his fridge and started offering them around.

Once we were all seated and Onyx had downed two large glasses

of bourbon, he looked up at us all and there it was, the old Onyx.

A part of him, anyway. It sent a shiver down my spine to see him come alive. This was his favorite thing to do, tell stories of doom, and in particular
my
doom. It made me uneasy to remember the way he got such a thrill out of seeing other people’s pain.

“It’s a consolation prize I had not considered. Poetic really, that we’ve all potentially destroyed each other. Don’t you think, Violet?

That
you
destroyed Phoenix’s humanity by teasing it out of him 135

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in the first place, that my attempt to eliminate you released your discovery of power, which in turn curtailed my greatness, leaving me with detestable humanity. That now I may still— indirectly,

obviously— be the cause of your downfall through Phoenix himself.

How deliciously bittersweet.”

“Onyx,” Dapper said sternly, “tell them what you know or leave

them be.”

Onyx paused, but only momentarily, to consider Dapper before

his smile returned. “Dapper, I am glad you are here. The second part of my condition involves you.”

“Here we go,” said Dapper, rolling his eyes.

“As I have already mentioned, I
was
prepared to leave, but it appears things have just…taken a turn. I will tell you what I know…
some
of what I know,” he corrected, turning his smile on me, “in exchange for ongoing accommodation.”

Onyx poured himself another large bourbon, the sound of ice

cubes clinking the only noise to fill the uncomfortable silence in the room. Spence, Zoe, and Salvatore tried to look busy staring at their Cokes. Even Steph, who had just walked back into the room, knew now was not the time for comment.

I looked at Dapper, who had picked up a cloth and was rubbing

down the already clean minibar.

The quiet stretched.

“You have to work for your keep,” Dapper finally said, not

looking up.

“No,” Onyx said quite simply. I could hear the glee in his

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