Embittered Ruby (15 page)

Carmen watched the world pass by as the car sped her toward the moment when she’d trade in her youth for a medical chart that proved she’d entered the adult world. Even though she’d asked for it, it was surreal.

What would little Harper say about Carmen moving out, getting married, and having a baby? Her big sister sure hadn’t set a very good example for her. How about Kim? She kept her problems bottled up—there was no way to know for sure how Kim felt about things. Carmen feared she’d take it the hardest.

“Here we are.” Tiffany sounded way too cheery for the occasion.

Duh. “I can see that.”

Tiffany steered the car into the parking space with the stork sign for expectant moms. “Might as well use the perks that come with your condition.” She turned the ignition and slipped the keys into her purse.

Lighten up on the cheer, Tiffany. It’s so annoying
. Carmen made no move to get out of the car until Tiffany knocked on her window. “Coming?”

Sigh
. Carmen opened her door and put one foot on the pavement. Then the other. Her legs felt like lead. She really just needed to get this over with, but it was so hard to move.

“Come on, pick up your feet. Shuffling along just draws attention to yourself. Be confident.” Tiffany poked Carmen in the ribs.

Carmen didn’t laugh. Though Tiffany had a point—hmm, twice in one day. If Carmen acted like she shouldn’t be there, then people would assume she shouldn’t. But how did they know how old she was, really? And there’d be no way they could know she was there because she was pregnant. She could be getting her annual exam or might have an infection of some kind. Oh, right, like an STD? Yeah, there was a better option.

With only three people waiting in chairs and one person standing at the desk, the office wasn’t nearly as packed as Carmen had expected. Not so bad. She could do this.

Eww. Carmen nudged Tiffany. “Look at that lady. Three o’clock.”

Tiffany inched around. “Carmen. Shh. She’s just very pregnant. You’ll look just like her one day soon.”

“Gross.”

The grandmother type in front of them scooted out of the way, still using the countertop to rest her purse while tucking her insurance card into her wallet.

“Go on. Tell her your name.” Tiffany gave a gentle push on Carmen’s arm.

Couldn’t Tiff have done it? Carmen stepped forward. “I have an appointment. Carmen Castillo.” Hopefully her whisper sounded confident enough.

“Well hello, dear. This is your first time with us?” The bubbly nurse in the rubber-ducky scrubs at the front desk grinned and slid a clipboard beneath the sliding-glass partition. Why glass? In case some rogue pregnant mafia bride went postal on them?

Moving toward the waiting area, Carmen flipped through the papers and reached for the pen dangling by a two-foot length of fuzzy green yarn.

“Just fill those out as best you can, dear. Be sure to calculate the first day of your last period correctly so we can give you an accurate due date.” The nurse bit back the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth but shot a quick glance out at the few patients in the waiting room.

The whale-like woman gasped and clutched her stomach.

Carmen froze. Had that nurse actually done that on purpose just to get a response out of the other patients? Wasn’t there some kind of patient confidentiality law that she just broke? Maybe Carmen could sue after she got over her humiliation. If she ever did.

The card fluttered from the old lady’s hand and landed on the floor. She clucked her lips and shook her head as she stooped to pick it up. “Ridiculous,” she muttered and glared at Carmen.

“I know, can you believe it?” Tiffany sighed at the elderly woman. She touched the woman’s arm like they were coconspirators witnessing some kind of teen tragedy.

What?
Carmen thought Tiffany was on
her
side. In a weird sort of way, anyway.

Tiffany gave the horrified woman an I’ve-got-a-secret grin. “Years of fertility treatments, and the poor girl is finally talking due dates.”

The woman clucked her tongue and shook her head, the disapproval oozing from her wrinkles.

Did she say fertil—? Ha!
Nice one, Tiff
. Carmen giggled then glanced at the nurse who’d been watching from behind the glass.

The disapproval sailed from the nurse’s face, and her eyes twinkled. Humor won out over disapproval.

Carmen filled out her papers—what she could answer anyway. That was where a bio mom would have come in handy over the home-wrecker girlfriend. Tossing aside the issues of
Fit Pregnancy
and
Parents
from the stack of magazines on the side table, Carmen settled back into a chair with a copy of
Cosmo Bride
. Time enough for the mom stuff later. She had a wedding to plan.

A nurse in panda scrubs opened the door to the inner sanctum. She wrinkled her nose at the chart in her hand. “Carmen Castillo?”

Castee-yo. Not Cas-till-oh. Come on. Did people really not get the double
L
pronunciation? “That’s me.” She gathered her things and followed.

“Want me to come or stay here?” Tiffany rose from her chair.

Did Carmen want to go alone? Not really. But was this experience something she wanted to share with Tiffany? Not really. Still, alone was worse. “Yeah, come on if it’s okay.”

Tiffany nodded. “Right behind you.”

The carpet was brown. That’s all Carmen could think about on the long walk past the women in the waiting room and the nurses at the bustling nurses’ station. She couldn’t possibly look them in the eye. Better to stare at the ground and just follow the feet in front of her. One day soon she’d be waddling behind that same nurse like a duck on steroids.

The feet stopped at an intersection where the nurse stood in front of a scale with a digital readout hanging on the wall.

“Okay. Hop on. Shoes on or off—doesn’t matter. Just do it the same way next time.” She held the chart with her pen poised to record the info.

A public weigh-in? Horrifying. Carmen stepped on the platform. The digital display began flashing numbers. What was this,
The Biggest Loser? Yep. That’s me
.

“Okay. Looks like you’re at 124.”

Seriously? “What, the flashing neon lights weren’t enough, so you had to announce it to the world?”

“Huh?” The nurse’s eyebrows furrowed.

Tiffany nudged Carmen with her elbow. “Be nice.”

The nurse frowned. “This way.” She stopped in front of the restroom. “We’ll need a urine sample. You can use this cup and then slide it into the little cubby there behind the toilet.”

“Oh. A pregnancy test won’t be necessary. I know for sure I’m pregnant.” The positive EPT, the morning sickness, the expanding belly…proof enough for Carmen.

Nurse Panda looked down her nose. “I’m quite sure you do, dear. That’s not what we’re testing for. Just leave your sample there. We’ll collect a new one at each visit.”

Lovely.

Carmen pulled the door closed. Would have been nice if they explained what they were looking for before just expecting her to follow orders. Maybe she should have said no.

“We’re waiting right outside.”

Perfect.

Urinating on plastic seemed to have become a habit of Carmen’s lately. At least this time she didn’t have to wait three minutes for the results. Screwing the cap on tightly, Carmen followed instructions and set the cup in the proper place. She washed her hands and opened the door. Tiffany and Nurse Panda were leaning against the wall waiting for her.

“Right this way.” She gestured into a small examination room. “Go ahead and undress completely. Put the gown on with the opening in back and then have a seat on the exam table. The doctor will be right in.”

Naked in a paper dress, Carmen tried to hold the back closed as she got onto the table like climbing onto an amusement-park ride. She could almost hear the announcer.
“Buckle your seat belts, and get ready for the next ride at The Most Humiliating Day in History.”

Tiffany smiled. “Seafoam green is definitely your color.”

“Oh? You like?”

“Belt that thing, and you could wear it to the prom.”

“Funny. But now you’re pushing it.” The prom. Would Carmen ever get to go to the prom now? She would have gone with Nate last year, but she’d been sick with pneumonia. The year before, she couldn’t go because the school didn’t allow freshmen to attend even with a date who qualified. This was supposed to have been her year.

If the online due-date calculators were accurate, the baby would come in the middle of June. No prom for Carmen.

Nurse Panda opened the door and pushed a metal cart into the room. “I’m going to take some measurements, and then the doctor will come talk to you.”

Blood pressure. Temperature. Pulse. “Okay, now lay back on the table and lift your gown. I’m going to measure the height of your fundus.”

My what? I don’t think so
. “Uh, can I have a sheet or something before I lift my gown?”

The nurse sighed and yanked open a drawer. She handed Carmen a sheet and waited.

Sorry to bother you, lady.

Tiffany cleared her throat. “You know, I think I need to speak up here. Is there someone else who could take over? Your disdain for Carmen is clear, and it’s making us both uncomfortable.”

Go, Tiffany!

“You’re saying you’d like to have a different nurse?” Panda’s eyes were wide.

“I think that would be best.”

“Fine. One will be in shortly.” The nurse huffed from the exam room without bothering to close the door.

“I have a feeling we’ll be waiting for a long time.” Tiffany checked her watch.

A light knock sounded on the door frame. A young nurse flashed deep dimples as she soared into the room. “Hey. I’m Shelly. Glad to meet you.” She shook Carmen’s hand. “I feel like I need to apologize for Carol. Please don’t be offended. It’s especially hard for her to deal with teen pregnancies for…personal reasons. But I think you and I are going to get along great.”

Shelly helped Carmen lay back on the table then lifted her paper gown, careful to cover her with the sheet. “Let me get a quick measurement.” She stretched the tape from Carmen’s pubic bone to a spot on her stomach. “This tells us if your uterus is the size it should be at this point in your pregnancy.” She consulted a chart. “Yep. You’re eleven weeks pregnant and measuring at ten weeks. That’s well within range. Especially since it’s a bit early for these measurements anyway.”

“Let me help you sit up.” She grasped Carmen’s hand and pulled. “Okay, now the fun stuff.”

Prenatal vitamins. Do this. Don’t do that. Weight gain. Movement. Sure hope Tiffany was taking notes. Next time Carmen would bring Nate to the visit. Wonder when they’d hear the heartbeat? Can’t ask the nurse because she probably already said it. Carmen could Google it later. So far Google had been as helpful as the medical professionals.

“So if there are no more questions, I’ll send the doctor in for your exam, and then you’ll be free to go grow a baby.”

Sounded easy enough.

“I wanted you to know I’m going to have a talk with my mom after dinner tomorrow night.” Nate’s voice had a hopeful ring.

“I don’t care if you do talk to your mom. It’s not like you’re going to convince her we’re doing the right thing.” Carmen gripped the cell phone. Sunday nights after leaving him to come back to Hackensack were always the hardest.

Nate sighed. “Listen, I know you’re not a big fan of hers. And I get why—I’m not a huge supporter right now either. Just…um…just try to be a little more forgiving. She’s a good person, deep down. She only wants the best for me. And she’s my mom. We’re stuck with her.”

“Honestly, I just don’t think it’s worth trying to open her eyes right now.” Lest she get to Nate in the process. “I want to make sure we’re good and aren’t going to be swayed by her words.”

“Us? No way. We’re fine. I’m just trying to give her the time she needs to come around.”

“Something tells me you’ll be waiting past the time this baby starts kindergarten.”

Nate sighed. “She’s my mom.”

“I understand. But I think we could be married for twenty years and have four kids and she’d still see me as the Mexican girl from the slums.” Carmen swiped away a tear.
Don’t cry—or at least don’t let him know you’re crying
. “I’ll never be good enough for her, Nate.”

“No one would. Trust me.”

He hadn’t denied what she’d said though. Carmen had no hope of ever meeting Hillary McConnell’s approval. At least the judge didn’t seem as opposed to Carmen as his wife was. If only Hillary didn’t have so much influence over him, it might not be so bad.

“Hey, I have a surprise for you this weekend—it will prove to you just how solid we are.”

Now he was talking. “A surprise? What is it?”

“Yeah. I’m going to tell you. I can see that happening. You’ll just have to wait. But I promise it’ll be worth it.”

The lilt in Nate’s voice conjured his smiling face in Carmen’s imagination. Now there was the Nate she’d known all these years. Phew. “It’s a deal. I can’t wait.”
Cosmo
said to end phone calls on a high note. “I have to go now…dinner’s about to burn.”