Elf Killers (23 page)

"Uh...Thunder-man?" said Dyr-jiny.

Dyr opened his eyes with a start to find Dyr-jiny standing in front of him with two brutes and a particularly handsome young sow.

"Tre-fini-fyrd and Fnad-irr-fanf look-saw her easy-sneaking, just down the hill."

The two brutes gave her a rude shove forth in spite of her complete cooperation.

"Why you-be here, Ninar-dern?" said Dyr with a magisterial squint to hide his finding her most attractive.

"I have big-nod-say, big-nod-say which got my Da gut-ripped all to bleed-out and got-me rolly-eye-bottom-ho-ho-slapped," said Ninardern, looking him straight in the eye. "You-must-must big-nod that Da no-be turn-back run-off. I no-be turn-back run-off, not like Fnanar and his brutes. Da went with them to learn their hee-hee-think so he could nod-say it to your-ear. I was giggle-grabbed. Da and I big-big always-be your Dyrney..."

"Then nod-say this hee-hee-think now," said Dyr.

Ninar-dern respectfully stepped forward and licked the top of his foot. "Fnanar big-head-nods to jump-bite the no-see no-see grab-up-squeakers," she said, standing straight to look him in the eye. "When you and the True-dyrney come to champ-feast and juicy-eat at the big big grab-up-squeaker roast, he big-nod hee-hee-thinks he'll make you howl-bleed howl-bleed before he head-smashes you in-front of all Dyrney. Then, he will-be big big Thunder-man."

Dyr snorted. "Grab-up-squeakers no be. They-all got-lost in the water-top mountain crawly-holes. Your da Gnydy big-nod-said this to me. Did he sly-sneak-say me all to hooter-fool?"

"No. When Da heard Fnanar head-nodded that grab-up-squeakers still-be, he big-nod that his think be all tumble-down, and he followed Fnanar to look-see where-be. Da big-nod to put where-be in your ear."

"And did Gnydy and Fnanar find no-see no-see still-be grab-up-squeakers?"

"They live-with the gut-rip-birds who bled-out Da, out out out in the deep-grass sea, past the up-down of the mountain."

"Which come out-of -her mouth, shaman," said Dyr, suddenly turning to Dyr-jiny, "nod-say or sly-sneak-say?"

"Nod-say, all nod-say."

Dyr leant back on his rock. "So. They bushy-tail heart-thump. After all these night and night and night and nights, they still-be bushy-tail heart-thump." He looked up at Dyr-jiny. "Pick-out brutes to hunt-grab ho-hum-beasties for-now. Let Fnana-fnyr thunder-lead them. You stay-here." He looked down at Ninar-dern. "And you-too. We have much to put in each other's ears."

Chapter 16

Dyr sat by the fire pit, staring balefully into the flames as he gnawed and yanked at a deer rump, grease dripping from his elbows. There were moments when he looked as if he might be grinning, but it was only the stringy meat in his teeth. "This deer must-have been an-old rough-haired stiff-wobble," he said with a deep guttural belch, as Fnana-fnyr sat beside him with a foreleg from the same animal.

Fnana-fnyr twisted off a bite and chewed for a good while. "Umm-humm," he said at last. "I nod-think he near-was ready to fall from stiff fog-eye stumble-down. The brutes ran him off the bluff-top anyway and head-smashed out his-eyeballs where he lay at the bottom with big rock, big rock, big rock."

Dyr squinted, smacking his lips as he chewed, and then twisting and twisting on another bite before giving up and cutting it off with a piece of flint. He held it up for a pair of wolf-dogs to see. The moment they dashed over, he flung it into the fire. "Is this the best the brutes can hunt-grab?" he said.

"Yea. They'll not try and try and try and try for ho-hum-hairy-beast when they

big-nod-think, big-nod-think that grab-up-squeakers be somewhere."

"Why you not say this before?"

"You-be all growly-turn-away since the grab-up-squeakers go-all no-see no-see," said Fnana-fnyr with a shrug as he looked at his toes, speckled with grease, wriggling in the dust and ashes. "And you be growly-turn-away, growly-turn-away, growly-turn-away after you ooot-ooot thump-chest shaky-head point-away at Fnanar and his brutes. So I big-nod-think maybe you point-away me, even thunder-thump me if I be trouble. And here I be, trouble for my bad-big-nod-think, so I get point-away thunder-thump anyway..." He squeezed shut his eyes and turned aside, waiting for the blow to come.

Dyr's blow was a shock even though Fnana-fnyr was braced for it. It flipped him backward off his log to sprawl on his back in the dirt. Before he could quite see straight, Dyr had him pinned. "Mudful hollow-head!" roared Dyr. "You-be the only family I have. If I ooot-ooot thump-chest shaky-head point-away you, who gets my skins, my beads? Who gets to be Thunder-man if I give up my rock? And Dyrney all-be in ruin until you-be Thunder-man and give-up your first-son to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne." He rolled back on his haunches and studied Fnana-fnyr's face. "I head-smashed Dyyp too late to give up first-son to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne. I try to give up Gyrn's first-son, but you see how that be, and Gyrn go-be brute for Fnanar. Everything all tumble-down until you-be Thunder-man and you give your first-born to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne by having your Dyrney-brutes juicy-eat him. Then glory-be all-Dyrney."

"Isn't that a long time to wait?" said Fnana-fnyr, rising up onto an elbow in the dirt. "A-lot could tumble-down by-then. The brutes grow more-and-more foldy-arms wiggle-huff."

"We might go-longer if we jump-take sneak-away drop-in-ear hee-hee-brought by Ninar-dern."

Fnana-fnyr picked up his deer leg and eased back to the fire to turn it in the flames some more while he waited for Dyr to continue.

Dyr picked up the rump which he'd left draped across the log he had been sitting on, gave it a couple of thoughtful sniffs and heaved it into the fire before sitting down on the log. "She drop-in-ear that the no-see no-see grab-up-squeakers are over the water-top mountain-rocks, out out out in the deep grass sea with big-big gut-rip-birds all-round," he said as he flicked a pebble into the fire pit. "Fnanar found them but got jump-bit by the gut-rip-birds. He came-back with brute, no-brute, brute, no-brute, brute, no-brute and no grab-up-squeakers. When he has more-brutes he'll go-back. Just nod, nod-think, he has Gyrn, and Gyrn has big big-nod from Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne."

"Ninar-dern gobble-said all-this in your ear? But she was big sow to Fnanar, wasn't she? Can her words be nod-say?"

"Dyr-jiny said nod-say."

"So do we tramp-tramp to the deep-grass sea and jump-bite grab-up-squeakers, all humde-dumdle to head-smash a path through big-big flocks of gut-rip-birds?"

"That should no-be ho-hum for young-brutes, and it do-be for grab-up-squeakers." 

"But until Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne gets a debt-baby, Da, won't we get bloody-ripped like Fnanar?"

"I big-big nod-so, but it-will give each Dyrney the same big-wrinkle-face nod-together to keep things from tumble-down until debt-baby."

"Why-not giggle-grab a new big-sow? All-kinds would be jump-up-and-down breast-flap big-nod to be Big Sow to Thunder-man and carry your kids."

"But all of the run-around-giggle-sows are young," said Dyr, sitting back wide-eyed.

"Old enough to get-heavy and drop kids," said Fnana-fnyr with a shrug.

"Hoof!" said Dyr with a faraway look in his eyes. "Maybe we'll soon show Fnanar what a holdy-nose flabber-toomph for Thunder-man he be. I may even big-nod the perfect sow to grab."

It was still dark when the dour Elf woman gathered up the skirt of her leine and stepped into the wet big bluestem grass. "Would someone tell me why we have to be out in the Strah before the crack of dawn?" she said. "Isn't this when the shawkyn spooghey begin their daily hunts?"

"You volunteered with the rest of us, Brede," said Vorona, as she waded through the grass behind her, "so it's our turn first. And as for the chosen hour, I'm sorry to say, but the strike falcons determine that. Olloo says that the only time both birds leave the nest is right at sunrise. One of them goes out to hunt and the other one comes back right away to sit on the eggs all morning."

Brede fell silent and made a childish face which was ugly even in the dark, but filed into the tall grass with everyone else.

"The wild strike falcons make grass nests a foot and a half across in the middle of big mounds of grass and sticks, maybe three feet high by about ten feet across," said Olloo as he walked, looking from side to side at Vorona, Roseen, Kieran, Oisin and Doona, Brede, Nessa, Markus, Donachan and Martyn to see if everyone was hearing him. "They place these in loose colonies, ten to twenty rods away from each other in all directions. I've been watching an especially large colony not quite a league north of here, so that's where we're going. I just hope we're not too late getting started."

"So what do we do when we get there?" said Oisin as he held Doona's hand and tramped along beside him.

"I want to leave everyone in a group," said Olloo, "armed and ready and out of sight of the colony while I scout about the nests to see if the birds are away. If they are, I'll gather eggs and fetch them out, two or three at a time."

They fell silent right away as they struggled through the grass, trying to keep up with him, since he was quite afraid that they were late. Just before the sun peeped over the Eternal Mountains, he made them kneel in the grass back to back with their bows ready and then he disappeared into the waving grass. A redwing blackbird circled overhead, scolding. He was back in short order with four eggs, which he handed to Vorona, Roseen, Nessie and Markus before vanishing once more. Right away he returned, catching his breath as he handed out eggs to Brede (who beamed with delight in spite of herself), Donachan and Martyn. "Hey!” whispered out Kieran as he pointed away through the grass. "Isn't that a nest, yonder?"

"That's dangerous," whispered Olloo, suddenly wide-eyed. "We're not outside the colony at all."

Kieran jogged over to the nest at once, held up an egg and dashed back with it. "I hope it's alive. You think so?" he said, handing it to Olloo.

"It's warm and dry. I'll bet it is," he said, as Nessie and Markus trotted out of sight. 

Suddenly, there was a shrill screeching. Olloo sprinted through the grass to find Nessie and Markus at the edge of a nearby nest with two baby strike falcons shrieking with all their might as they stood in their shell fragments. "They're going to get us killed if I don't do them in..." he said, grabbing for his knife.

"No!" cried Nessie as she lunged at the babies and scooped them into her shawl, quieting them at once.

"They stopped screaming, all right," said Olloo, “but they might not bond with you if you take them. Either way, they've already made their noise, so we'd better get out of here, now."

"My egg's in the nest, Markus. Would you get it for me?"

"We have to go, or the parents will kill us," said Olloo. "Come on!"

"I'm calling her Cronney. I want to give my egg to..."

"We can figure it out at home. Let's beat it, kids!"

Dyr sat on his rock just outside the Hooter Cave, looking at the stars as he waited for Ninar-dern to respond to his summons. He was surprised to find himself nervous. He knitted his beetle-brow as he thought about this. No sow had ever made him uneasy before.

"Dyr," said Dyr-jiny, "Here-be Ninar-dern."

"Walky-waddle, Dyr-jiny," said Dyr with an overbearing nod as he struck his best display pose and fixed his eyes on the young sow.

Ninar-dern got down on all fours, licked his foot and stood up to meet his gaze. "You want more big-nod put in your ear?"

"No, just your sit-beside. Is that hum-de-dumdle?"

"Big-head-nod, Thunder-man."

"Good. Gobble-say. Do you rolly-eye grab-wish for Fnanar?"

"I no-no do," she said. "Fnanar no be the brute I dream-drooled."

"No be?" said Dyr. "You look squirm-shudder. You can be big easy-easy hum-de-dumdle. You can gobble-say, gobble-say. Fnanar no-be my son." 

Ninar-dern looked at him carefully. "I no-be Dyrney for Fnanar. He only yum-yum nods at my rear-end and my milk-bags. He likes to knee-slap-hoo-hoomp when he flabber-toomphs my ear, but it snuff-snuff like rotten beastie. He big-nods Gnydy be my Da, but I could just-as-well be a big rock." 

"That be Fnanar, but did you ever-be rolly-eye grab-wish for him?"

"No-no, all shaky-head, shaky-head. I dream-wished to-be Big Sow. But I head-nod tried-and-tried to be his sow. This I head-nod, head-nod."

"Did you like-be Big Sow?"

"Not in Fnanar's camp. Fnanar's Big Sow no-be big. His brutes all-be hair-jerk kick-sows."